Sep 5, 2014
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Archive photo of Rabbi Yitzi and Dina Hurwitz and part of their family

Rabbi Yitzi Hurwitz, the Shliach in Temecula, CA, gives more advice about relationships inspired by this week's parsha.

By Rabbi Yitzi Hurwitz

This weeks parsha, Ki Seitzei, tells us: "If there is a quarrel between (two) men who come to court to be judged, the innocent one will be acquitted and the guilty one will be condemned."

In the Torah there is nothing extra. Here, however, there seems to be extra words.

The verse starts "If there is a quarrel." It could have started "men, who come to court..." Isn't it obvious that there is a dispute when two men come to court?

Then it continues "the innocent one will be acquitted and the guilty one will be condemned." What other option is there? Isn't that what a court ought to do?

This is a special case. First the two men were quarreling, from the fighting, a dispute arose. When they come to court, the judges recognize that this case started as a quarrel. They might be tempted to deal with the true underlying issue instead of judging the case at hand. The Torah tells the court to judge the case properly.

There is a message here for us all. Don't think that quarreling with a friend is okay. Ultimately it will escalate and you will end up in court. Your case will not be judged according to your feelings but by the law.

We each need to think about our relationships. Is it really worth fighting with friends and family? How many of us haven't spoken to a friend or, even worse, a family member for a long time because of some petty matter?

Don't let it come to that. Whether you feel innocent or guilty in the situation, it's not worth the constant fighting, bickering and hurting.

Sometimes we lose focus, forgetting that Hashem puts us in our situation. We start to feel negative about ourselves and everyone around us. Then the quarreling begins...

Practice recognizing Hashem's hand in all that happens. It will keep you positive. Life is short. Be positive and easy to get along with. Be a good friend and good family. Let the petty stuff slide. Be happy, friendly and smile a lot.

You will positively change the world for the good, and you will bring out the positive in those around you.

(I would like to thank my wife Dina for her input in writing this post.)

To support Rabbi Yitzi's battle against ALS, visit

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Opinions and Comments
a bachur in yeshiva
thanks I will work on my.midoos
(9/5/2014 7:59:45 PM)
(9/6/2014 9:03:01 PM)
yitzi proud to hear of you
Yitzi you dont know how right you are Yitzi , every thing starts with petty matters , yes petty metters ,

Yitzy you never forget to give credit to the Alten Rebbes grand daugther Dini, a main part in Sholom Bayis , you are trying to bring,

BTW: she deserves all the credit hou give her, and even muchmore, we have to honor theAlter Rebbees Ayniklech , especially when they really daserve it ,

Yiti , I hope you will have the Ze'chus to bring Shlom in our Ma'chaneh,

And in this Ze'chus Hashem will send you aRefyo Shekemo , and a Refuo Ke'revo lemato me 'assoro tefochim ,

Uncle SBH
(9/6/2014 9:52:32 PM)
Beautiful Thank You!
Zei Gezunt in Shtark MIT Lange Gezunten Freilichen un chassidishe yarin! Moshiach Now!
(9/6/2014 9:59:04 PM)
Well said
Keep the vort coming.
(9/6/2014 10:17:30 PM)
thank you for reminding me to smile
sometimes i forget how easy it is to forget but how powerful and beautiful it is
(9/6/2014 11:08:00 PM)
Well said
So true - and coming from a man going through such a challenge it truly is "dvarim hayotzim min halev".

Thank you. Keep smiling! May you be zoche to a complete and speedy Refuah!
(9/7/2014 1:00:42 AM)
Words from the heart really enter the heart
(9/7/2014 1:30:19 AM)
thank you so much for taking the time to put these thoughts on paper and share with us
particularly for Elul. you are a role model to many thousands. May we see a refuah shleima and MOshiach NOW
(9/7/2014 2:03:09 AM)
From this man I will accept any advice.... dare we be petty when there is so much to thank HKB"H for. Form Rabbi YH I will accept anything. May Hashem bless you with happiness and strength in these times until Moshiach heals all ills...

with love, a friend who has never met you but loves you as a fellow Jew....Hugs and embrace

(9/7/2014 3:25:54 PM)
thank you!!
True I hope to remember it always
(9/7/2014 9:07:20 PM)
Dina, that is an awesome picture....!!!
(9/7/2014 10:01:55 PM)
to number 10
I feel the emes in your comment!
I got the chills.....

Yitzi is, was and always will be one of the most awesome people !! A true chossid.. a true ohev Yisroel.

I know Yitzi since he is a little boy and all I can say is

I am waiting for Hashem to send us Moshiach - in your zchus alone he can come!

(9/7/2014 11:14:30 PM)
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