Aug 25, 2014
A Girls School That I Recommend

From the COLlive inbox: A mother of a teenager recommends a Crown Heights school if your daughter didn't find one yet.

Still Didn't Find the Right School for Your Daughter?

I am the proud mother of a happy teenager who goes to Bnos Chomesh High School in Crown Heights. I am writing this anonymously because, after all, my daughter is a teenager, and needs her privacy. But remembering how I agonized at this time last year, I felt that I just had to share my story in the hopes that maybe it will help someone else.

My daughter is an intelligent, capable and talented girl. She does not have a learning disability, wasn't a behavior problem and didn't have hashkafa issues. A normal child, in every respect. Despite this, she often felt like just a number at school and this resulted in her apathy to learning and everything school-related. As she got older, her lack of enthusiasm often got her labeled as lazy and at times even dumb.

By the time she hit high school, I was dealing with a very unhappy, unproductive teenager who dreaded every day in school; she was constantly looking for excuses not to go.

A little over a year ago, I read an article in the N'shei Chabad Newsletter talking about Bnos Chomesh, a small girls high school right here in Crown Heights.

I became very interested as it sounded exactly like something that could help our situation. It sounded like the staff was really caring, the program was exciting and the girls really seemed to love their school. I started asking around and anyone who actually knew about the school had rave reviews. However, one friend, who had no correct info about the school, told me it would be the worst decision that I could make for my daughter. Additionally, I was nervous about putting my daughter into a new social situation. Despite these reservations, I called to set up an appointment.

I was pleasantly surprised at how warm and welcoming every staff member was. I thought: If the teachers are such wonderful examples of Chassidishe women, and the atmosphere projects so much ahavas yisroel, my daughter will surely thrive here. After spending just one hour in Bnos Chomesh, all my concerns melted away; I knew this was the place for my daughter.

I felt a huge relief when my daughter was accepted and we eagerly awaited the beginning of the new school year.

The beginning of the school year was also the beginning of a major positive change in our home.
I started seeing a girl who eagerly looked forward to going to school everyday. She started learning, doing homework and achieving academic goals that she didn't know were possible. She did well on all her tests, aced her regents and even took the SAT! She liked all her teachers and felt comfortable asking any question, even ones that were considered chutzpadik and petty in the old school. Her questions regarding Yiddishkeit and Chassidishkeit were happily and honestly answered.

And another unexpected turn: she didn't want to miss school for any reason! The small classes of 10-12 students allowed her to form a real relationship with each teacher. She went enthusiastically to events hosted by teachers and on Shabbos afternoons, would go to Pirkei Avos shiurim, staying at teachers homes throughout the afternoon, along with her friends.

My daughter has made many new friends, and has maintained old friendships as well.
She has discovered hidden talents through the many extracurricular classes the school offers, such as: guitar, art, sports and more. At the yearly production, our daughter shone on stage, as each student plays a crucial part in Bnos Chomesh's outstanding performances.

My daughter has become a much happier, calmer and more settled young lady. Her happiness in school has affected our entire family. To the skeptics, who tried to discourage me from sending her to Bnos Chomesh I would like to say this: Don't listen to unfounded rumors. Find out for yourself, firsthand, what Bnos Chomesh is like. You can't imagine the warmth and excellence of this school unless you have been there or know someone who has. You definitely should not base your decision about sending your daughter there on unfounded rumors. And to those of you who are still on the fence about where to send your daughter this year… I strongly suggest you get in touch with Bnos Chomesh. It's a school that acknowledges each girl's strengths and challenges, and gives her real support and tools to become her best self.

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Opinions and Comments
very nice
wished they had something like this for elementary greatly needed
(8/25/2014 6:13:22 PM)
existing parent....
Thank you very much for taking time and writing such touching letter. May your daughter continue growing and may we all share much nachas from her and all the students at Bnos Chomesh.
(8/25/2014 6:23:07 PM)
Bh You were fortunate.
However I am sure that parents of children who learn in Bais Rivka and Bnos Menachem can also give glowing reports of how their daughter grew, flourished and gained so much from going to their respective schools. I have relatives in both of the above mentioned Moisdois who have B"H wonderful, frum Eidel intelligent daughters who graduated and have only positive things to say.

It is silly to praise one scholl as the absolute answer for a girls chinuch in Crown heights.
(8/25/2014 6:32:00 PM)
Very well written, I as well went through the same thing with my daughter. I want to emphasize how this school made my daughter shine, saw her strengths and made a girl happy to go to school and that she made a difference. I recommend every mother to consider sending their daughter there if they see that they're daughter is just being a number in a big school and is unhappy going to school every day.
Thank you mrs Gorkin and chanale Chanin.
(8/25/2014 6:40:34 PM)
Bnos Chomesh
I am proud to say that my daughter attends Bnos Chomesh as well. The staff is very dedicated, sensitive and works tirelessly to meet the needs of each individual student. This school is a model of caring and effective education.
(8/25/2014 6:42:45 PM)
to #4
Maybe encouarge your relitaves to write about their positive expriences in other schools. There is pleanty of room on the internet for such an artilce.

At any rate, it's always nice to hear about parents who are happy with the school their child attends.
(8/25/2014 7:14:56 PM)
To #3
Did you read the whole article?
She wasn't sayingn that one school is the answer for a girls chinuch in Crown heights. She's saying that I'm her situation, those other schools didn't work for her daughter and this one did. Different schools are geared for different types of students.
(8/25/2014 7:16:05 PM)
One school with the Rebbes name
I would not trade anything for the school with the Rebbes name , there is only one original, others try to copy
Thousands of girls graduated are shluchus of the Rebbe with hashkafa and yiras Shomayim before the other schools copied , the original cannot be copied , kol hakovod Beis Rivkah
(8/25/2014 7:22:06 PM)
Agree with #6
But it looks like your comment was meant for #3
(8/25/2014 7:41:34 PM)
I'm a Bais Rivkah graduate and sent my daughters there to. One of my daughters was just not doing well there and I pulled her out and put her in Bnos Chomesh. The staff is amazing and this daughter who was not doing well at all, now is doing better than my other kids.
The school is not for everyone, it's a boutique school that manages to do amazing things and build self esteem to girls who were crushed in the big schools.
Bais Rivkah and Bnos Menachem and I assume Bais Chaya Mushka may do better for many girls, Bnos Chomesh is for girls that need what the school offers for particular kinds of girls.
One school is not overall better than another, each family needs to look at each of their children and follow the directive of Chanoch Lnaar al pi darko, each their own.
Same goes to Boys schools, not all boys do well in the big schools.
The point of the article seems to be to raise awareness that there is a school for students who need a small caring school with individualized attention.
As a mother who has kids in multiple boys and girls schools for over 20 years, I do have to say I've never dealt with the level of personal interest and caring and availability of all staff at all hours that I've seen in Bnos Chomesh.
(8/25/2014 8:16:52 PM)
To #8
DeNial ain't just a river in Egypt...
If you want to ignore all the girls who are *not* thriving in the "school with the Rebbe's name", or pretend they don't exist, fine, but don't expect their parents, or the people who really care about chinuch, to do the same.
(8/25/2014 9:39:29 PM)
Still waiting
For a boys school here like this in the area!!
(8/25/2014 10:19:01 PM)
from the OH to the M to the G
i'm shepping nachas, from the cousin in the red robe......she's a beauty and bracha to this world

with all due respect, this passage is now OVER!!!!

your favorite cousin everrrrrrrr!!!!!!
(8/25/2014 10:44:24 PM)
Great school
It's not just the warmth and caring, it's also how they get the girls to really succeed. The girls who need extra challenge are challenged and those who need remedial help get it as well. I know because I work there. Everybody gets what they need instead of a one-size-fits-all education.
(8/25/2014 10:48:47 PM)
I knew Dina parents and it is only natural that a school like this could come to fruition from a daughter of Reb Yehuda, a most kind, caring and devoted soul.
(8/25/2014 11:53:15 PM)
To number 12
I'm also waiting, a boys school like this would be amazing. I assume that Darchei's original goal may have been somewhat like this, and Ocean Parkway has an extra dose of actually caring who the students are.
It's been proven that when students feel loved and cared for they will aspire towards and achieve higher goals than they thought they could.
I think schools like Bnos Chomesh bring awareness to the community and in turn improve all the schools.
(8/26/2014 5:59:46 AM)
#12 You're right on the mark!
Need a boys' school like this too!
(8/26/2014 9:22:33 AM)
Seems like a great school
To those defending Bais Rivkah, Bnos Menachem, etc....I read and re-read this article. There was no mention whatsoever of which school this girl came from, nor any negativity at all about her previous school. It was only praising Bnos Chomesh for it's unique approach to helping its students succeed. Why the need to defend other schools? Parents should just make their school choices based on what they believe is best for their children and not try to prove that they are on the "better team" because of which school their child goes to.
(8/26/2014 11:40:12 AM)
im from LA
but theres JETS here. it pretty good.
(8/26/2014 12:52:55 PM)
Fantabulous Unknown School
I taught at Bnos Chomesh for a year and was extremely impressed with the staff, teachers and Mrs. Gorkin. I have never seen a students love and feel more cared for.

The staff are truly good friends and communicate wonderfully. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
(8/26/2014 12:59:53 PM)
be real
(8/26/2014 2:46:25 PM)
wish I had a school like that for my daughter when she was in High School...When she graduated from a well known crown Heights High School she said in all 4 years the principle never said one word to her and she thinks she doesnt know who she is...Maybe the principle did know but what is the problem is that she felt she did know her
(8/26/2014 4:30:56 PM)
I have daughters that went to both Bais Rivkah and a Daughter that went both to Bais Rivkah and B'nos Chomesh.
Both schools are great, both schools have very devoted teachers, principals and administration. No School has the exclusive rights on teaching our girls and boys to love hashem and his torah and to follow in the ways the Rebbe showed us. Both schools are 100% equal. Kudos go both to Morah Teichtel and her staff and the same goes to Mrs. Gorkin and her staff for doing great work with the kids. a big yasher koyach to the both of you for helping us teach our children!!!
(8/26/2014 6:05:24 PM)
As a student of Bais RIvkah years ago I must say that there
was much room for improvement in perceiving a student's
abilities and concern for their success. A happy student is a
the basis for a successful student. A student who is judged
by educators lacking a sense of perception or concern is not
motivated to do her best. Yet when it come to references
the reports are based on misperceptions. The responsibilty of the REBBE'S SCHOOL is on those who judge and give reports based on their shortcomings. Thank Hashem for
the right people who care for the happiness and success
of our children. THEY are worthy of being called THE REBBE''S
(8/26/2014 8:47:38 PM)
Sorry to burst your bubble.
(8/26/2014 11:33:16 PM)
To number 19
What age is JETS for?
Isn't is for older boys? We need something like this for boys Mesivta age or even higher elementary. Boys who are not good learners should not be made to feel like failures their whole lives. By the time they finish Mesivta and were rejected enough times, they aren't as interested in going anymore. This has been what I've seen in my house.

We need our boys and girls for the matter to know life can be very productive and meaningful even if they are not able to keep up with mainstream.
Is Darchei more like this?
Darchei wasn't the right fit for us personally.
(8/27/2014 6:57:43 AM)
Who is trying to beat Bais Rivkah?
Different strokes for different folks.
Why do people feel Bais Rivkah needs defending, when degrading another school was never anywhere near the point of this article?
I agree with #23...both schools are doing an important job, each in their own way. Kol Hakovod to all the dedicated educators out there.
(8/27/2014 2:14:03 PM)
New School on the Block
You should try out Devorah Leah Angyalfi's girls academy, incredible program, with absolutely dedicated and caring staff.
The results talk for themselves, all girls who attend can attest to the life changing transformation it has made.
Kol hakavod, keep it up!
(8/27/2014 7:01:13 PM)
I Agree 100% With #24 & #11

BAIS RIVKAH has the responsibility to live up to the
chinuch standards of the REBBE. In my experience as a
student in Bais Rivkah there were staff members who
were excellent and there were those who are
responsible for the waste of certain students potentials
because of their misperceptions and lack of concern,
and threatening attitude rather than a show of friendship
which would bring out the best in each student. They
could have had the zchus to help their students be
successfull but will have to answer to ONE ABOVE.
(8/27/2014 9:01:55 PM)
boys school in formation
send an email to find out about a new boys' mesivta program
(8/28/2014 1:12:54 PM)
Re Evaluate this system
(8/29/2014 10:05:47 AM)
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