May 13, 2014
Pre-Dating Course to Launch
Illustration photo*not connected to the article

With the shidduch process ever more complex, a new pre-dating course helps young adults take the biggest decision of their life seriously.

As our world gets more and more complex and nuanced, so does shidduchim.

“Who is compatible? How to know? What to share, what not to, and how? What to find out? What is really important, what is less so? How does a relationship develop, and what can I consciously do to make it solid lifelong relationship?

So many important questions. And that is why more and more young people are taking the responsible step to really learn about all it takes to have a successful marriage – from the dating stage when the relationship begins, and then through the rest of their lives.

The first of its kind, 'FIRST POINTS’ is a pre-dating course offered by the Adai Ad Institute for young bochurim post-shlichus and girls post-seminary, separately. The program provides tools and perspectives that will strengthen their marriages. It also serves as a helpful tool to navigate the shidduchim process.

Created through countless conversations with young Lubavitchers, parents, mashpi'im, mashpios, and professionals, the program was built with real hard data, real stories, and real experiences. Presented in 7 sessions, FIRST POINTS is designed for interactive discussions about marriage with straight talk - no euphemisms, no beating around the bush. Real answers to real questions. The small groups, in a round table format, ensure comfort for these discussions. Read more about the course here.

“It is gratifying to see so many young people taking a proactive approach to their marriages. It's a testament that this program is addressing a real need," said Mrs. Devora Krasnianski, developer of the courses.
A FREE WORKSHOP to find out more about Adai Ad
This Thursday, May 15, (15 Iyar), at 7:30 PM*, will be a 'First Points' Open Workshop for bochurim at the CHYE Center, 510 Empire Blvd. in Crown Heights.

Select points and tools from the course will presented, and presenters will answer any questions related to the program. This event is at no cost and is not a commitment to join the course. Please RSVP at (*Adai Ad events begin on time; please be prompt.)

Rabbi Yossi Feigenson MHC, who has worked extensively with bochurim in the arena of shiduchim; both as a presenter and counselor, will be presenting this next course. He presents clinical and practical ideas through the lens of Torah and Chassidus.

A similar program for young women will take place soon, email for more information.
The very name of the program, Adai Ad, expresses the vision: from the outset, marriages should be built to last forever and ever. Beginning with its signature 'First Points' course, the Adai Ad Institute hopes to grow and offer other Shidduchim and marriage related services.

Visit our website to see more:

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Opinions and Comments
This is so great. And particularly being free it is accessible to everyone.
Thank you for organizing this important event. More to come please
(5/13/2014 11:38:17 PM)
Just wondering
Can this workshop and the complete course be taken by watching a paid video or webcast ?
(5/13/2014 11:55:02 PM)
Couldn't agree more
Feel very uncomfortable going to a lecture rather I'd like to be able to download the video and watch it privately obviously I don't mind paying the cost, the benefit you have that you can ask questions (and get answers) can be taken care of by the individual having email correspondents.

Looking forward for a response.
(5/14/2014 12:06:21 AM)
Its about time lubavitch started an organization to help with the shidduchim problem. It's a real crises
(5/14/2014 1:37:36 AM)
Simple solution
Force bochrim and girls to take a decision within maximum 6 dates. Each date should not last more then 3 hours. Like this everone is aware that they have no time to loose and have to focus on a shidduch instead of wasting time.
(5/14/2014 4:29:05 AM)
fantastic and timely!
This is superb. Really good choice to have rabbi yossi f. He and his wife have consistently been the best ear, and given the most on target advice.
(5/14/2014 7:55:16 AM)
This is so important and rabbi yossi f is right on!
(5/14/2014 8:18:19 AM)
the over the hill single never married's
I wish they would have some sort of program to encourage the women over age 30 to be a little open minded about dating. I am an older man now (never married BT) and am aware of about 5 or so women I would like, but whom will not go out with me, they are ffb and never married.
(5/14/2014 9:35:15 AM)
To #5
That's a dangerous and dumb recommendation, they need to take months to decide, not a few dates. That would lessen the chance of realizing that the marriage was a mistake the day right after sheva brachos resulting in getting divorced in the first year.
(5/14/2014 10:38:32 AM)
My son Will never attend
But he really needs it!! Please video tape it and post it on col
It will benefit 1,000s and girls too. Many bochurim are similar only the real mature show up to these things. Please I beg u video tape it and post it your gain will be a thousand fold!!!
Kol hakavod. Great cause.
(5/14/2014 10:55:04 AM)
I wish I could attend, but...
I don't live in Crown Heights.
Please have a webcast! It could benefit hundreds of more girls and bochurim.
Thank you.
(5/14/2014 2:27:32 PM)
Adai Ad responds
There are many benefits to an online workshop - as has been articulated in the comments. And, there are many benefits to attending a workshop in person.
At this point, this workshop will be presented as an in person workshop.
If you are interested in a webcast or video option, please email us about how you envision it working and perhaps we can work together to make it happen.
(5/14/2014 4:53:27 PM)
Will be there
What services are offered after the actual workshop? Will rabbi feigenson be offering direct counseling?
(5/14/2014 8:41:29 PM)
Go Adai Ad
Thank you for filling this vital need. I have been waiting for another course to open, so I can send my son. He is looking forward to the opportunity as well. You are filling a tremendous need, and I hope Adai Ad grows more and more.
(5/14/2014 10:37:36 PM)
Single... Psychology Masters Thesis
I have recently decided to do my Master's Thesis on this particular issue. Shidduchim in all the communities not only chabad.

in the research I found that most singles are frustrated with the "system" only because they feel that the system is flawed. Interviewing Shadchanim and Singles alike - it seems that each side is blaming the other.

My question: It's nice that events are being done for singles - however what is being done with these Shadchanim?
(5/16/2014 12:48:44 AM)
Adai Ad responds to Masters Thesis
We are working from that aspect as well. Would so appreciate the opportunity to learn from your insights and efforts. Please email us at
(5/16/2014 9:09:37 AM)
Agree to #15
I agree, the problem is also within shadhanim as well. I have a good idea, to create the central database of all interesting in and make more social events where people would see each other ( so as it was in yerushalaim on 15 of av). Let people choose and then meet and then find more info about each other. I have seen many girls who would gladly start meeting good boys and let them choose what type and level they need to. Isnt good idea? There should be a single's events kosher ones of course within the community. Let professionals get involved, not just shadhanims who just want to match people as many as they can.
(8/12/2014 10:28:42 PM)
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