Oct 20, 2013
What's Wrong With the British

From the COLlive inbox: There's about 50 shidduch-aged girls who are being rejected simply because they are "English."

By Leah

Rejection was and will always remain an unavoidable practice in the process of the shidduchim. Rightful or not, there's more at stake than two singles trying to figure out if they fit and like each other with the goal of getting married and building a Jewish home.

You have the parents on both sides, their extended family, friends and members of their social circles - each projecting their upbringing, understanding, experiences, dreams, failed dreams, theories and wishes for the prospective chosson and kallah.

Oh, and then there's geography.

I understand that there's a preference for a boy and a girl to be the most compatible possible, to share a similar background and language, so they can focus on bridging other differences and ensure a successful marriage and a happy life (if it's even possible to "ensure").

But why are so many American bochurim/parents rejecting girls from Great Britain? Why the immediate reply of "we don't want an English girl," even without hearing details of the offer or making basic inquiries? Do we have some kind of disease that warrants an instant dismissal?

The Chabad community ("Anash") in London is raising very fine girls who are open-minded, tzniusdik yet well-dressed, talented and of all kinds of temperament, from gregarious to more reserved.

Since High School is relatively small, everyone is friendly with each other with no cliques, helping the girls to grow up to be accepting of all types and friendships often crossing the grade boundaries. Graduates of the High School have been accepted into the best seminaries around the world.

The community itself is very warm and hospitable. Whenever there is a simcha in town people open their homes to help accommodate the out-of-towners. Everyone makes Sheva Brochos for each other. There are a variety of halls and caterers offering a range of options (low-cost or all inclusive package to more elegant events).

And let's not forget the amazing range of sightseeing and tourist attractions (Changing of the Guard! London Eye! Crown Jewels!) to keep visitors entertained and amassing memories and souvenirs while they are in town.

So why are there at least 50 unmarried single girls from the Chabad community in London looking for shidduchim and constantly getting turned down simply because they are English.

As a general rule, English girls are ready to move anywhere around the world and indeed many of them are filling Shlichus positions around the world.

If you tell me that traveling to England to date is a hassle, I can give you examples of girls whose parents sent them to New York but that rarely made a difference. Families even stated that they are ready to hold the wedding in New York if needed, but the response that is invariably heard is "No English, no European, no overseas."

So why is this happening? There's nothing wrong with English girls. The next time a shadchan suggests a girl from England, look into it. You and your son might be pleasantly surprised.

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Opinions and Comments
This article is so english But has great point
(10/20/2013 7:48:47 PM)
Stating the obvious
The problem with English girls is that they are English! Enough said.
(10/20/2013 7:49:29 PM)
Aussie Aussie Aussie
LOL English... try being Australian!
(10/20/2013 7:52:23 PM)
well said
(10/20/2013 7:54:11 PM)
english people...
english people live in a box and everything is to the extreme for them!
from an experienced american
(10/20/2013 7:54:12 PM)
The other way around too
I have a daughter, Shiduch age, and - for some odd reason - any Boucher that lives in England, she refuses even to hear about....claiming different mentality etc etc. Nothing will convince her otherwise!!!!
(10/20/2013 7:56:04 PM)
Its something against the Commonwealth in general. Australians, South Africans and English have a stigma of being more chilled which personally I find sad as they all raise fine people.
(10/20/2013 7:56:58 PM)
Ditto to the Aussies
Yep i agree with #3. Try being Australian. and somehow everyone loves us for everything buy shidduchim.

Fair? I think not, esp since many of these families were sent on shlichus by the Rebbe.
(10/20/2013 7:57:24 PM)
perhaps this is a generalization
it seems there is a distinct difference in mindset (which manifests itself in many different areas) between americans and english people and this can be hard to overcome.
(10/20/2013 7:59:40 PM)
Answer to your question…
Because there are too many divorced British girls.
(10/20/2013 8:01:04 PM)
here here
(10/20/2013 8:09:26 PM)
can i have that list of 50 girls hellllo....?
(10/20/2013 8:11:50 PM)
Lubavitchsingles.com aka the girls list has currently around 40 London girls listed and about 10 Manchester girls.
If you know of any more please email lubavitchsingles@gmail.com or use the online form.
(10/20/2013 8:14:32 PM)
Great article!!!!!
Thank you and sooo true!
(10/20/2013 8:14:37 PM)
Here now! Just locate 50 decent English boys will'ya, and you'll have solved your problem in a jiffy, old chap! Simple, innit? Chandeliers were invented for bright bulbs like me!
(10/20/2013 8:15:22 PM)
married british
i traveled across the ocean, and b"h i'm happily married to a wonderful person from the uk, i can testify first hand they're very nice!
(10/20/2013 8:15:36 PM)
stop talking about the Queen
the bochrim are just not interested in hearing about the Queen
(10/20/2013 8:16:46 PM)
Hands tied
I don't get this op-ed; it's inevitable that people will have negative things to say, and with comments being sensored, how is this going to be a legitamite discussion. It's only going to be one sided- which is kind of pointless.
(10/20/2013 8:21:36 PM)
A sunburnt country
Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and single

They just don't know what they're missing out on.
(10/20/2013 8:22:27 PM)
We'll the English
The English girls mite be nice but the parents are very lame I've been to London 5 times for dates and the ppl are just lame I was there shaboss and no one in the Shul said good shabess to me , I know when I'm in the USA ppl are so nice try ask who are u were u from so I english ppl need to work on them selfs before u deserve us good USA boys
(10/20/2013 8:24:17 PM)
British daughter in law
I let my son go out with a British girl and that is the best thing that could have happened! Boruch Hashem he is happily married and to an amazing women who is bringing up a beautiful family kah
(10/20/2013 8:25:16 PM)
Maybe they're too proper?
(10/20/2013 8:26:28 PM)
Cold Mentality!
(10/20/2013 8:27:18 PM)
Proud English girl
We are so down-to-earth, real, kind and confident. My american husband tells me everyday how lucky he is to have married me. Thank g-d I didn't end up with an American big mouth who seems to have opinions about everyone and everything:)
(10/20/2013 8:29:36 PM)
English girls
You must find out about the girl before saying no cuz she is British! Why would you assume that all English girls are the same? Are all Americans the same? The whole crown heights is full of different types let alone America so please don't judge a British girl just because she was born in England!
(10/20/2013 8:30:07 PM)
2, 5
Exactly what its saying.
Ur making a genarlization, there are all types of English girls.
There not all square in the box.. Where u come from.. Are you a crown height person that doesn't know anything differance but just from up ur road and around tour corner.
Open ur eyes.. Ur being exactly what ur saying.
(10/20/2013 8:30:35 PM)
number 5
Ur in a box.
(10/20/2013 8:32:35 PM)
To #7
Learn the differences: The chilled ones are Australians and South Africans. The English are the stubborn and square-minded.

And fyi, Canada is part of the Commonwealth too.
(10/20/2013 8:35:00 PM)
Glad you posted this
We all need to remember to remain open-minded in shidduchim....My son did a shidduch with a girl from a certain country overseas where the girls have a lot of trouble getting dates, and he and we are very happy. I will say, though, that in general Lubavitchers have less of a problem than some other communities. One relative who lives in a certain Brooklyn neighborhood found that people only wanted to do a shidduch with a family within walking distance for Shabbos walks... Let's count our blessings while we open our minds!
(10/20/2013 8:36:15 PM)
To #5
"English people live in a box" - just like Crown Heightsers, except, English people live in bigger boxes.
(10/20/2013 8:36:37 PM)
tray to be israeli
(10/20/2013 8:37:46 PM)
lets be honest
a few unstable girls gave us all a bad rep...

thanks for writing this
(10/20/2013 8:38:03 PM)

Mmm. Lovely News!
Divorced, handsome, young man of 50 with 2 kids, good parnussah, b.t., cannot re-locate, but is a huge Anglophile. R.S.V.P. to Mrs Levertov (Strocks) here in Crown Heights.
Mrs. Levin(Liberow) can provide an excellent reference......
(10/20/2013 8:41:28 PM)
Hmmm i wonder who really lives in a box
(10/20/2013 8:51:57 PM)
what about english boys we whee also brought up on the princial of openmidness vchu
(10/20/2013 8:52:22 PM)
English? Try Argentina.
(10/20/2013 8:54:26 PM)
little confused
Has anyone counted how many crown heights young women rrmained unmarried?
(10/20/2013 8:55:19 PM)
I think Australian girls have a much harder time...incomparably!!
(10/20/2013 8:55:57 PM)
For good reason we stay away from the English
I will just say it's from experience we say this. It's not by accident that we all say the same things. I don't know who is posting. with 2 English in our extended family we see stubbornness and in their own box. To solve your problem look for English boys!!! I for one would not hear of English girls for my sons. Sorry but that's the truth.
(10/20/2013 8:56:16 PM)
Sruly C
I don't even understand the idea,

I'm married to a English girl, they are smart, amazing wife's and great mothers. The Americans have a thing or two to learn from them.
(10/20/2013 8:56:38 PM)
Re #7
Except south Africa isn't part of the Commonwealth.
(10/20/2013 8:57:22 PM)
I am English and I'm proud and ill sing it out loud, cuz forever that's what I'll be .... Oh yeah.
If only Americans knew how to laugh like the English and not be so miserable and angry always... Lol
(10/20/2013 8:59:52 PM)
Where do I start?
[a] English are extremely square.
[b] Their humor is generally corny.
[c] Their logic is usually shallow and somewhat askew.
[d] Their tastes are bland.
[e] Unfortunately they have produced in the past 'white trash'.
[f]Let the Sth Afr, Aust, and Uk communities date each other to solve their shidduch crisis. However we know understandably, Sth Afr and Aust are years beyond the English.
[g] English parents are very difficult to deal with.
[h] Wedding arrangements are not the issue although may not be ideal. It's the English mentality for the rest of one's life that is challenging.
[i] Do you really think someone who married an English person would attest to making a huge mistake on this post?
[j] All said and done, I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule. But many have every right to check out the home product first; especially since many American girls are available as well.
(10/20/2013 9:01:24 PM)
1. Is the post writer the frustrated parent of an English girl?
2. Hello. There's are much more than 50 girls from the US that are single. there are much more than 50 girls in Brooklyn. What is the point of this post???

Well. Adding 1+2 I'd say the writer should have simply posted a pic and bio of the girls that are eligible and needlessly being passed over and let the marketplace decide.
(10/20/2013 9:01:30 PM)
Dated a few
I had problems with English girls because I always felt they couldn't express themselves, they keep everything stuck in a box and then blow with no warning.

On that matter, Aussies are the same, they all have friendly exteriors and are warm but will never tell you if something is bothering them...

Its a very Victorian way of life
(10/20/2013 9:02:44 PM)
We have
Ribena and hot snacks and Americans don't. And a can and a bun- when we go over.
(10/20/2013 9:07:42 PM)
uk girl
there is way more then 50 girls...
(10/20/2013 9:08:18 PM)
Stop feeling sorry for yourselves. I don't think it's because you're "English". Your time just hasn't come yet. I know A LOT of unmarried American girls. But they don't blame it on our country...
(10/20/2013 9:08:49 PM)
I'm English
I'm from London and my husband is the happiest guy out there !!!! Hahaha
Hey author you forgot to mention the west end , Brent cross , selfridges , Harrods and Marks and spencer !!!
Who needs Macys and JC PENNY ?!!!
(10/20/2013 9:09:12 PM)
face the facts:
with shidduchim, everyone gets a bit picky. they want the perfect normal girl, no different than themselves. Americans normally only want americans, and that's that. they pass up the girls with just the tiniest difference. I feel for you, but the shidduch cycle is something that is, unfortunately, set in stone. Divorcees marry divorcees; widowers marry widows; americans marry americans; israelis marry israelis. Just marry an English and continue the cycle.
(10/20/2013 9:12:57 PM)
Clown heightser
I only want to marry a fellow clown heightser
(10/20/2013 9:14:05 PM)
Bitter girl
It seems that the writer is just very bitter, I did not reject an english girl for my son.
(10/20/2013 9:17:17 PM)
for this reason alone I know why you aren't married. Trust in the eibeshter. Hashem obviously hasn't sent your beshert and that's that. Why are you blaming it on your nationality?? connection...
(10/20/2013 9:24:34 PM)
I'm English
and this is one of the most ridiculous Op-ed's I have ever read on Collive.

HKBH is in charge of Shidduchim, do your Hishtadlus and Hashem will do his!

May we have lots of good news!
(10/20/2013 9:30:45 PM)
What an odd article to write. there are 2 things wrong with it. 1) Im sure british girls are very nice people. I've met a few and the ones I know are great. Yet just because they are nice doesnt mean that its cheap to fly there. It doesnt take away the factor that yes they are overseas. Which is a valid point. Maybe some people are fine with paying for tickets, but some people are not. that has nothing to do with how nice or not British girls are.
2) the second thing wrong with this article is even more confusing. Maybe there are 50 girls from England unmarried, but there are also (im making up the numbers )50 girls from France umarried. and 20 girls from california. and 10 girls from Florida and 200 girls from NY. and 100 girls from...
get my point? Just because you live in a certain place doesnt exempt you from the tragedy called our shidduch crisis. Im from NY and Im also nice. and Im also not married. I also get rejected, maybe not because of where im from, but because my family lineage isnt right. Or, my family lineage is great but my brother isnt frum. My parents are too poor. My parents are too educated. .Im not thin enough. Im too thin. Whatever. The point is, at the end of the day its all Min Shamayim. No one is exempt, no matter where they are from. Everyone is rejected for some equally silly reason or other. Trying to say that you are not married, because you are Britsih is just plain folly.
(10/20/2013 9:30:59 PM)
I'll tell u way...
Americans are intimated of us ! down to earth , real, class , smart and wickedly funny, creative, great cooks ... Except for my american husband who I Whipped into into shape- tought some manners, how to laugh, relax , have fun, not be such a workaholic ,instilled values , told him about the london dungeons and methods used when not obeyed....funnily enough he's happy!
(10/20/2013 9:31:44 PM)
Writing an op-ed can't change reality! The reality is that the English are DIFFERENT than the Americans. Crying how unfair it is, is just burying your head in the sand and denying the reality. Of my four friends who married Englishmen, three are just MISERABLE, but b"H at least they;re still married.
(10/20/2013 9:32:32 PM)
The English are beautiful.
I find most the English to have a beautiful refinement to them. What people think they want is not alway found to be true, but feels safe, so they typically stay within that zone.
(10/20/2013 9:33:26 PM)
there is a boss
and what's about the good English boys that you Americans won't touch..
(10/20/2013 9:35:07 PM)
to 47
You could now order marks and spencer online
(10/20/2013 9:38:51 PM)
Be careful, the English machatanim can drag you down, down down!
(10/20/2013 9:39:14 PM)
England has the greatest Soccer League in the world
Where in the world can one watch such a spectacle week in week out. Come on England. #15 lets go all together now G-D save our gracious queen....................
(10/20/2013 9:39:25 PM)
to no. 52
and don't forget to mention that you also wouldn't want to marry someone who lives past Montgomery St. and it has to be between Brooklyn and Albany. but ur not square. just dumb.
(10/20/2013 9:39:36 PM)
It's a death sentence.
Never did and never will
(10/20/2013 9:40:28 PM)
I did it right
I found the solution so listen closely, I married a woman with a Dutch mother so it takes the chill out and actually makes for quite an amazing woman.
(10/20/2013 9:41:47 PM)
They very cold never never in my live
(10/20/2013 9:44:44 PM)
To number 57
Who are you ?
I think you are me
(10/20/2013 9:45:52 PM)
I blame the shadchonim
They often refuse to even suggest an English girl
(10/20/2013 9:47:16 PM)
any doubt about english girls? call the wolff family!
(10/20/2013 9:48:20 PM)
Brits r awesome!
This is all ridiculous- one can't stereotype an entire country!!! All the British people I know are really wonderful! Plus they have a great accent ( they sound smart regardless of what they are saying). :-)
(10/20/2013 9:50:34 PM)
usa guy married to English :)
English girls are way better looking than other girls, that's why Americans are too insecure to date them..
(10/20/2013 9:53:31 PM)
very simple
its no secret that there are more unmarried girls than boys which gives the boys a much bigger base of girls to choose from. why would an American boy choose to go out with an English girl? Why would he want to deal with the issues regarding marrying someone from a different background from a foreign country etc. when there are plenty of American girls to choose from first? I'm not saying that its right or its fair, its just the fact. The average American boy would rather exhaust his American options before considering going out with a foreigner.
(10/20/2013 9:54:53 PM)
I love my English in-laws!
They are chassidish, kind, warm, welcoming, fun, well-rounded, balanced, hard-working, smart... and they brought up the best husband a woman can ask for!
(10/20/2013 9:58:26 PM)
English girls are the best! Especially from Manchester!
At least my wife is, ;) . People have to many preconceived ideas when it comes to whom they decide to go out with that don't necessarily reflect reality. Maybe the non-commonwealth communities are the closed minded one...
(10/20/2013 10:01:40 PM)
this must be a new thing
as a 40 year old british woman, I am most of my friends married americans. It was not an issue 20 years ago
(10/20/2013 10:02:59 PM)
What's Wright With the British
(10/20/2013 10:03:59 PM)
english guys are the best
Fabulous caring husbands fathers...
(10/20/2013 10:04:31 PM)
I really don't know where to start.
You can all have a good laugh.
Trust me the Shidduch Crises is SAD.
Yes they is a load of English Girls.
Their are 100 of girls bet 22 and on waiting, for SOMEONE TO SHOW AN INTEREST IN THEM.
We need to create a Shidduch Network. online.
(10/20/2013 10:05:47 PM)
what's wrong with these English people? first they hold it all in behind a steel facade. Then they explode like crazy and blame it on the people who happen to be in the crossfire. No wonder Americans don't marry into English too often...
(10/20/2013 10:12:39 PM)
One Reason
It is too difficult to date when they are far apart....its hard to make a connection after when dating on Skype...so people dont want to start..

if they came over...the problem would be reduced.
(10/20/2013 10:13:25 PM)
we English are clean and organised and very talented .we also tell the truth .we are not fake like people here. look at the teacher who are english here one does wood work ,one does nigunim art teachers and the homes here who have english mums are really well raised .
(10/20/2013 10:18:31 PM)
Rabbi Heller
Rabbi Heller Shelita, has two sons who married English girls!
(10/20/2013 10:21:20 PM)
to #3
Maybe if the aussis wouldnt get married and drag their husbands back to no mans land more guys will want to date you. but no one wants to be dragged to Australia
(10/20/2013 10:21:42 PM)
Proud to be a pommy!!
I bet you Americans don't know that song !!!!!
(10/20/2013 10:22:10 PM)
Oh, cuz Americans are a big glick!!
WAY too many comments to comment on each...
To some I have to say AYMEN!! and to the others.... SHUH UP!!!
P.S to the one comment that did stick out in my head... I have been in C"H for almost 30 yrs and on only a handful of occasions have I had someone address me with a "good Shabbos", or not been looked at, with a "do I know you" face, when I say Good Shabbos to a fellow Jew!
(10/20/2013 10:23:30 PM)
I am married to an English girl for many years now. Best in the world. Wouldn't have done it otherwise.
(10/20/2013 10:24:23 PM)
Mark twain
What did mark twain say about Manchester? Might give the English a bit of heads up as to what problem pple have with them
(10/20/2013 10:28:05 PM)
as anyone noticed
all the hilarious comments are from english happy pple and all the misarable serious comments are from americans. ...lol
(10/20/2013 10:33:42 PM)
English husbands
I married an English guy. He is an amazing person , wonderful husband ,and an awesome father!!! My in laws are really kindhearted, generous, and loving. We are happily married for quite a few years. And to think I hesitated dating him because he was English....its just narrowminded to shut the door on an entire country.
(10/20/2013 10:34:16 PM)
I don't think it's a Commonwealth problem (though S.A left the Commonwealth in 1960)
There are scores of S. Africans married to Americans...including myself....and my in laws didn't think twice about my nationality (though they all love my lekker accent!)
People tend to compare us to the Brits, but we are nowhere close to their mentality.
(10/20/2013 10:35:12 PM)
the English PEOPLE
ARE cold
(10/20/2013 10:35:38 PM)
of my best friends are English. And some of my best friends
are Jewish.
(10/20/2013 10:43:40 PM)
anyone remember
the smell of rain the leaves...listening to the arches during dinner? dun de dun de dun de dun
(10/20/2013 10:51:42 PM)
and counting...I love COL Shidduch op-eds lol
(10/20/2013 10:54:09 PM)
It's an East-Coast, New York attitude
I breezed into Crown Heights, fresh and young at 20, all ready to get married. I felt hip and Brit, with a funky boy-cut hairstyle and Laura Ashley clothes. I dutifully met with a well-known Shadchan, who obligingly informed me that "American boys don't like English girls." I was completely speechless by the absurdity - and it was one of many I heard during my stay in Crown Heights.

Boruch Hashem, my dear hubby's extended family think my accent is the coolest, my style is adorable, and of course I'm so very clever! Point is -- this English stigma certainly exists, but it's a fabrication of Crown Heights. Look further afield, and wishing you all much hatzlacha.
(10/20/2013 11:00:04 PM)
nice excuse
When someone turns you down,because you're English.They are turning you down in a polite way. Instead of telling you, we're not interested because of..............., we aren't interested,
because you're English. When the Basherter comes around,you won't be turned down.
(10/20/2013 11:00:07 PM)
American Brit
I am lucky enough to have married a British girl and not get landed with an American dummie!!!! Enough Said!
(10/20/2013 11:14:20 PM)
Anyone who refuses to look into a person due to their nationality is just stupid
(10/20/2013 11:14:44 PM)
their accent!
(10/20/2013 11:15:11 PM)
Married to a brit
They are great people just the english tend to be darn cheap....
(10/20/2013 11:15:30 PM)
English Lady in U.S.A.
Oh my goodness what are you all talking about!

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
_ - ^ ~ *
(10/20/2013 11:18:19 PM)
to #55
I think that you just reinforced this op ed article..
As an English girl you cant comprehend that you dont understand.........
BTW. your 2nd half of your comment is 100% true.
(10/20/2013 11:20:58 PM)
The $
The problem is $. Not just the dating and wedding
costs. What about when kids come along? Who's
Has the money to travel overseas? I hope my kids
Meet their beshert from a place I can afford to visit.
(10/20/2013 11:37:34 PM)
My wife married a wonderful
English fellow and considers herself most fortunate. That's me by the way
(10/20/2013 11:37:47 PM)
To #88
That was with regards to the weather, not the people.
(10/20/2013 11:45:27 PM)
english boys
Why do so many English girls say no to English boys?
(10/20/2013 11:52:48 PM)
no standards
when it comes to a fry person on mivtzoim we have the most ahavas yisroel, BUT when it comes to our fellow lubavitchers we are quick to judge just by the passport they have! I know plenty of english lubavitchers and i find them a lot less fake than american drama queens, and many more mailos. and if you want to play the mark twain game he couldn't have put it better “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” o and for all you unworldly people, south africa came back in to the british commonwealth! now we can go on about the greatness of this small country with a culture and tradition that america can only just envy, admire (more americans watched william and kate tie the knot than english!) and make a poor attempt to copy the accent. but thats not what we are about. Just be intellectually honest with yourself, learn the meaning of cold and maybe travel a bit further afield! (and i am not talking about canada) and you will realize how spoiled selfish and obnoxious americans can be compare to other nations around the world. so don't judge a book by its cover and jump to conclusion on a country that you barely know about, nevermind been there! g-d save the queen! and the barmy army! (p.s. the english premier league is more popular that the nfl, mlb, nhl and nba all put together!)
(10/21/2013 12:04:59 AM)
Perhaps if English girls came with a beeter return policy, we'd date them.
(10/21/2013 12:05:28 AM)
"Never again English"
My all American aunt married a repectful and proper Englishman. She said "Never again English"!

All her sons in law are proud Americans or Canadians
(10/21/2013 12:08:05 AM)
these are the most bigoted, small-minded and if english was a race, racist comments I have ever seen. THIS is why no ones getting married.
(10/21/2013 12:10:07 AM)
can you go over
Ice Berger cup cake with sprinkles and rondossssssssss!!!!
Love London!!!!!! We are the best and fess know how to laugh!!!!
(10/21/2013 12:12:28 AM)
H enfeild
br br br its a bit nippy outside :)
(10/21/2013 12:14:06 AM)
How rude some of you are
Honestly fellow Jews, how can you actually be saying such nasty things about other Jews from another country.

I'm English, my husband is American and we have a great marriage thank Gd. My children speak with joint accents and it's really funny. We laugh and have love and respect for each other.

What's the matter with the miserable ones out there, why the pointless hate.

So many nasty comments from frummers, yuk, it's very off putting.

(10/21/2013 12:14:50 AM)
To #89
Lol so right!!!!! We are truly the best!!
(10/21/2013 12:17:14 AM)
Really, let's go through the best of British.
We've just come out of the best 3 summers of our live, we've had the royal wedding, the golden jubilee, the Olympics, even the queen had a good laugh. We have the commonwealth, good food and confectionary. We have the ashes, some of the best tennis tournaments and players, we have the best football league week in week out. We have tight friendly communities. Beautiful scenery, wales round the corner. Scotland and EVERY good whisky distillery in the world!! We have a wonderful history, that goes back 800+ years. Not 150 or wtvr. We have many great rabbonim, and tosfos, never mind the modern day legends of rabbi Lew ect... And boy oh boy do we know how to have a laugh and have a good time. Oh, and no 21 year old drinking limit, and no gun crime!!
God save the queen
(10/21/2013 12:20:55 AM)
We are from lubavitch
We are from lubavitch we can't be any prouder if you can't hear us now we will yell a little louder! WE ARE FROM LUBAVITCH!!!!!! Lol
(10/21/2013 12:21:52 AM)
Im an american Mother
My daughter who is 22 beautiful, smart, comes from a good family. She is eidel and educated is a size two. She is kind, has great personality and a great sense of humor My heart is hurting no shadchan has gotten any shidduch off the ground for her at all. So its not the english its us too. Would like a solution. Is there a normal shadchan in town, who cares who is ibergeben who can help me find my daughter's beshert. I am getting older and would like to be here iyh to lead her to the chuppah HELP
(10/21/2013 12:26:57 AM)
To # 44
I'm so sorry your having such a hard time finding your match! Perhaps try one of us! We will make you happy!
(10/21/2013 12:28:02 AM)
I got to agree with this article as a English boy i would never ever! date a English they generally are quite weird..English boys on the other hand are quite the catch.
(10/21/2013 12:33:02 AM)
try being french
(10/21/2013 1:05:05 AM)
REALLY???!!! Who agrees with me???!!! does ANYONE DIS-Agree???!!!
I, PERSONALLY, LOVE the English and French accent as a Bonus for a Shidduch.

Although, I've been told that SOME English people tend to be like the Stereotype that they're a bit too-cold!

Also, SOME, tend to (NOT, INTENTIONALLY, I'm sure) behave, AS IF, they're ABOVE, EVERYONE and others are BELOW their CLASS (social, clique, Yichus, etc...)

Furthermore, Baruch Hashem for the High-school you went to, BUT, people of ALL ages, have stories of cliques in HS!

Another reason is, LOTS of American have a limited grasp of vocabulary in the language and furthermore do NOT that who and whom is APPROPRIATE for a PERSON, INSTEAD of that!

Others do NOT EVEN, know the difference between "your" and "you're" or "his" and "HE'S"!

So, when you want to say: "adjective gri-ˈger-ē-əs
: enjoying the company of other people

biology : tending to live in groups
Full Definition of GREGARIOUS
a : tending to associate with others of one's kind : social
b : marked by or indicating a liking for companionship : sociable
c : of or relating to a social group
a of a plant : growing in a cluster or a colony
b : living in contiguous nests but not forming a true colony"

and, INSTEAD, you say "gregarious", you come-off as "Holier than Though! I have a BETTER grasp of Vocabulary!"

Furthermore, it's EVEN WORSE when your-own people, discriminate beween London, Manchester, Essex, etc... (depending on whichever area you're from and you discriminate against and put-off the others)!

My question is: "Are you ADVERTISING the area / the community / London Eye / caterers OR its native people in your area?

I THINK, you're 100% and ABSOLUTELY CORRECT about "As a general rule, English girls are ready to move anywhere around the world and indeed many of them are filling Shlichus positions around the world", BECAUSE, people whom I, PERONALLY, meet, NO-MATTER which area in Great Britain, they're FROM, they ALWAYS, say: "OH, ... is a GREAT place to be FROM, NOT to LIVE THERE!"

BUT, I WILL tell you that I have SOME friends Baruch Hashem, HAPPILY Married to people from Great Britain and I, can PERSONALLY, ATTEST that they're BEAUTIFUL, NOT-ONLY, B'Gashmius, BUT-ALSO, B'Ruchnius!

OF-COURSE, ALTHOUGH, Hashem says: "do NOT Covet your Neighbor's wife or his possession, etc...", Baruch Hashem, with my eyes, I can see the beauty of B'Gashmius, BUT,

B'Ruchnius: You see the Chinuch that they INSTILL in their children!!!

So, What's the problem???!!!

Having to Travel for PERHAPS, ONE date and she says: "I really think, you are a good person and have a lot to give. And is really capable. Kind. I just don't think this is for me. I think women know. We go with our gut feeling. Do you think your soul knows when it's right? It's an INTUITION Thing!"

Well, you wonder: couldn't she check with her INTUITION & her FEELING-THING when she was making me fall for her during the e-Mails, phone-calls, Skype and FaceTime, BEFORE, I took a few WEEKS off (UN-PAID Vacation-Time which comes SCARCE since we use them for Yomim-Tovim) from my job, pay like $1,500 for a ticket (a week or two in advance, for two weeks since you think, a day to travel, another to recuperate from jet-lag, a few dates and by a MIRACLE, you MAY have a Vart, afterwards)!

Plus, the bothering of family-members / friends of friends or hotel-reservation, plus etc... costing like $5,000 to $10,000???!!!

That's BESIDES the EARLY Cancelation FEES and the Airlines' NEXT-FLIGHT-OUT fees, etc...!

So,what's the ALTERNATIVE, PAY FOR HER to COME HERE and while you save on the SCARCE Vacation days, it COSTS you, ALMOST, THE SAME, BUT, you THINK: "oh, i should pay for her to come HERE, say the above comments and use the ticket, hotel-reservation, cab-fare, etc... AND go-out with SOMEONE ELSE???!!!"

So, PERHAPS, that's the REASON, guys, TEND TO want to date someone EITHER in the SAME STATE or COUNTRY!

Who agrees with me???!!!

does ANYONE DIS-Agree???!!!
(10/21/2013 1:11:22 AM)
CH Bubby
Just BTW, many of those English girls have one American parent and carry US passports, and even though they come to CH, stay and work here, they are still considered as British, and get rejected instantly.
(10/21/2013 1:12:19 AM)
english shidduchim
I find they cover up much when giving references, so there were wide gaps between the information given and the reality.
Also, the English shadchanim push and push. My sons was harassed until my son relented and went out. Tznius? Very chilled

(10/21/2013 1:14:50 AM)
brazilian girls are the best one in the world..
...go brazil.............
(10/21/2013 1:18:06 AM)
Ahavas Yisrael!
The reason we were all "thrown around" the world by sancherev & later the romans in the first place, was because of SINAS CHINAM which helped R"L destroy the B"HMK! Much like the shameful comments some people have said!
(10/21/2013 1:20:32 AM)
Some of my best friends are English
(10/21/2013 1:23:26 AM)
um DUH
theres nothing wrong with the british!! Im a brit and Im proud and so I'll just rephrase this- the shidduch crisis has reached England. The crisis always has to do with the girls, so it has nothing to do with being a brit so keep calm and be a brit!!!
(10/21/2013 1:29:39 AM)
Ppl make plans and GOD laughs!
Look at this way... We all know that today there are more boys than there are girls. Why should a boy fly all the way to England to date this "potential" girl when he has 3 right under his nose sitting with their arms crossed just waiting for him to choose the them... That's A!

B.. The cultures are sooooo different! Why create more problems?! Let English marry the English and the Americans marry Americans... That way they know the culture... As is when a couple gets married they have "getting to know you, living under one roof together" issues... Why make more when lechatchile they can be prevented?!!
(10/21/2013 1:30:21 AM)
Your loss!
English girls are low maintenance, genuine, happy and straightforward people.

P.S I hope you've been saving up for your American wife's Jimmy Choos and weekly manicures.
(10/21/2013 1:30:37 AM)
Grow up!
Firstly, the point of the article is to bring awareness tu this issue - which it clearly has. The very outrage of some proves that this has touched a raw nerve.
Secondly, obviously one must make a Hishtadlus - this is exactly the purpose of this article!
Thirdly, it is quite obvious that anyone who stereotypes is themselves extremely narrow minded and in a box, square like no other.
(10/21/2013 1:49:37 AM)
haha yes maybe because they aren't australian.
also bc the accents only cute on the english guys...
(10/21/2013 2:05:09 AM)
It's fine if they don't want us. There are other guys out there. Less immature and less pathetic. Good luck to the Americans.
(10/21/2013 2:08:26 AM)
An auzzie
Just remember that most people who live in foreign countries don't live there cause they like the weather! They're probably there as shluchim! So they are the REAL deal!!!!! So think twice who your saying no to, perhaps to the Rebbe, the one who send them there in the first place?
(10/21/2013 2:40:24 AM)
ahavas isroel
All you need is Love!
(10/21/2013 3:08:16 AM)
Where to start this open ed will only be helpful if it brings change.
I don’t know if there are more English girls than Israeli or American girls looking for a shiduch, but to be turned down because you are English is wrong. Look around at the many happy Americans married to English boys and girls. This shows it can work!!!
So its expensive to travel I hear you say, life is bshert and it has a way of working its self out. If you look into something and its really good share the cost of travelling and the dates this way you are both equally committed. This can be done behind the scene, arranged through the shadchun . So guy listen out to English girls who are open to travel to find there bshert and prepared to move to live. Now the world is a small place grandparents watch grandchildren grow up over skype.
In 3 months it shvat many girls travel in to so guy s open your ears and eyes tell your shadchan yes ill try someone from out of town do your research now and date soon and may we hear many more international MAZEL TOVS .
I hear complaints that the English are cold, in general they may be different but not so with many of the Chabad girls who have warmth ready to be released to the right guy, family and community .
Now the real problem girls come out of sem at 19 and start looking at guys who are 23 + because our boy s are not ready till them( I don’t think the boys are wrong to wait they probably aren’t ready before) but the girls are ready and looking. So the girl does not find any one and is now 23 she starts looking at the new batch of boys who are 23 now her age who weren’t ready before and the girls just out of sem are also looking at the same boys.
So some girls end up in shiduchim for 3-4 yr period when there bshert is not even looking yet.
With Tefillah Tzdokah Learning the Rebbe inyanim on shiduchim and avos yisroel may every one find there bshert very soon.
(10/21/2013 3:09:03 AM)
to 57
Thanks - you brightened up my day!!!
(10/21/2013 3:30:01 AM)
(10/21/2013 4:01:37 AM)
84 response
Australia is on the other side of the world. It is really frustrating when you can't just jump on the plane to attend family Simchas. I come from a huge family and I am often missing out. On the other hand, we have an excellent life in Australia. I work hard and i dont struggle financially. Eventually, I will probably move back. But for now I am comfortable.
(10/21/2013 4:02:32 AM)
dont know why...they have a nice accent
(10/21/2013 4:08:51 AM)
Married to one
For all you boys out there, think again...I am married to an English girl and she is absolutely perfect in every single way! You should all be so lucky!
(10/21/2013 4:53:37 AM)
This works two ways
As an Australian, I would prefer my children marry Australians.

I would consider English or South African because they have have a similar mentality, although I'd rather my child not have the challenges associated with having one set of parents living overseas.

I would only consider an American for my child after all other avenues have been exhausted.
(10/21/2013 6:14:48 AM)
This is pathetic!!!! The points are true but this article was written weirdly... Like who cares about tourists attractions.. Obviously English ppl r gonna b diff a little.. We come from a diff place- doesn't mean we can't get along with an American boy and make a shidduch..!! I have plenty of really close American friends!
(10/21/2013 6:48:37 AM)
whats wrong?
i wasn't aware that this problem faced the British girls as well, however I know its a huge problem for South African and Australians. In my experience people outside of these countries are VERY quick to grab the boys for shidduchim, however before even looking in to a girl, they dismiss them because of their country,
A more troubling question that bothers me is - most of the Chabad people in countries like Australia and South Africa were sent their on Shlichus BY the Rebbe, and continue daily carrying out the Rebbes work, why then should their children be unfairly not looked into for shidduchim?
(10/21/2013 6:55:50 AM)
They're too intelligent.
(10/21/2013 6:59:29 AM)
What a load of codswallop!!
I feel very sorry for you all. You say you don't want English girls....so stay single. You think ANY girl is clamoring to marry such closed-minded, prejudiced idiots? I don't think so. And if American girls were such great catches, why are there so many of them still unmarried? Some are pushing 40.

The problem is you guys are not in a box. You are blind. It doesn't matter where the girl is from, if she shares your values (assuming you have some) her country of origin should be irrelevant. The fact that it isn't says a lot about YOUR failings as an open-minded human being.

One last thing....if you marry English & live here, you won't be bothered by the shvigger.
(10/21/2013 7:01:53 AM)
what's really wrong here
What? I don't think that English girls are too bad. No wonder there is a shidduch crisis, because people hear things about cultures and are very biased. There are people anywhere in the world, including America, who could be worse. Instead of rejecting British girls, the dating process should take longer so that the single in question can get a thorough understanding of the differences in the cultures. Having said that, I'm an American happily married to a British man and living in England, and while I am very close to a few English people, I am finding it difficult, but that is not because of culture, it's because of certain individuals who are a bit narrow minded to people who are different than them and unfortunately, are difficult, nasty people. But ithis behavior is not just found in England, in America too. So it really depends on the person youmarry, not just the cultures. Having said that, it could take time to get used to in-laws who may not understand the American mindset, but you will find that it can work, as long as they are decent people. And there are plenty of those around. Manchester people are also known to be warmer people.
(10/21/2013 7:02:28 AM)
americans, youre just as far away from Australia as Australia is from you
to #84 and all those who think America is the center of the world: for an Aussie to agree to live in America is just as hard as you coming here. how dare you say we drag Americans here? when a couple gets married its a joint decision about where they should live. do you know how many aussies have been dragged to America? why do you think you're more entitled to stay in your country. I would never touch any idiot like you who makes conditions about where to live before meeting. what kind of a marriage would that be. my husband is from overseas and doesn't regret marrying me and living here one bit. yes, maybe we don't visit do often because it's expensive but that's life. that shouldn't be a reason to reject an overseas person. if its your bashert, nothing you can do about it. don't close your options!
P.S. there's a lot happening in Australia. come visit! I wouldn't live in crown heights if you paid me!
(10/21/2013 7:07:20 AM)
South Africa
Is part of the Commonwealth. Re admitted in 1994
(10/21/2013 7:15:04 AM)
To number 116
You've missed a huge part! The cars! Some of the finest over the years... Aston Martin, Bentley, jaguar, range rover, Morgan, noble, rolls Royce just to name a few...
Just seems there's a lot baseless hatred for Brits here... But if u were offered one of those cars, ud love the British all of a sudden, saying how classy and elegant they are (which we are)
(10/21/2013 7:23:52 AM)
Get a life! Sucks for u! No tea time:)
But serious note- I would totally marry an American guy- I like the lifestyle.. So why can't he accept mine and together u make it happen..
(10/21/2013 7:31:02 AM)
proud brit
When I was asking for help from shadchanim one very eloquent and well mannered (sarcastic) shadchan rold me I will never get married becasue I am english. When asked what difference ut made he said "english girls are nerds or modern" well its been 4 years and my husband either doesn't share that view or enjoys having a modern nerd as a wife
(10/21/2013 7:36:28 AM)
La dee da
I don't usually comment on these op-eds but having read this is i feel compelled!!
What a lot of bloody codswollop!
The British are better educated
The British are steadfast
The British are headstrong and don't believe in using psychobabble to discipline our children!! We smack em!!!
(10/21/2013 7:38:03 AM)
Aussies rock!!!
To have an Aussie as a lifelong partner and be schlepped back to our land is not something to complain about! We're the friendliest most open minded people and live in a wonderful country where our government actually takes care of us!!!!
If people would rather remain single in disgusting crown heights over a new life in a thriving community and beautiful country....then there's something not quite right and we don't want you closed minded people anyway!

Aussies and Brits should unite- make more UK and AUS shidduchim!!
(10/21/2013 8:12:56 AM)
I have three nephews who are married to English girls. Two are already married for over 15 years. They are frum. chassidish, bli"h amazing wonderful wives, mothers shluchois, warm, capable etc, who raised fantastic children. Their husbands are mamesh gebenched with these wives. To generalize and say that the English girls are somehow inferior or different then American girls is quite silly.
(10/21/2013 8:22:34 AM)
Yorkshire Lad!!!
I have met many American women and they can't get enough of my accent.
My Humour Is so strong they're not sure whether to laugh or cry.
British girls are kind and extremely caring, however I have to agree they tend to be a little close minded.
But deff not too Shabby:)
(10/21/2013 8:33:03 AM)
To No 134
Well said, so true!
(10/21/2013 8:41:56 AM)
I married an english girl and
What a mess!!!!!!!!
(10/21/2013 8:46:51 AM)
One day
(10/21/2013 8:56:25 AM)
Bad cooks
All of them.
(10/21/2013 9:17:53 AM)
Finally all out in the open how we Brits talk about Americans!!
(10/21/2013 9:21:35 AM)
its Raining its pouring.... old man snooring.
kadus to England. its grey miserable clouds in England for many years now.
(10/21/2013 9:25:31 AM)
Try being brazilian!!! They look at you as if you are a monkey!!!

(just a tip for you that is reading comments 150+: there are truly amazing girls from south america!)
(10/21/2013 9:33:45 AM)
single man in CH
what is the email address of the shadchan(im) who will try to help me meet some of them?
(10/21/2013 9:43:20 AM)
in london now
the mentalities are worlds apart
(10/21/2013 10:03:08 AM)
Wow sickening
SERIOUSLY? Thats all you can argue about? Chabad is in Shambles now you know why....
(10/21/2013 10:17:52 AM)
to number 163
im availavle.... and english!
(10/21/2013 10:18:21 AM)
the neshama doesn't have a nationality!
(10/21/2013 10:21:25 AM)
Englishman in NY
Forget about american girls...does anyone know of a decent bakery in the 3,300 mile radius?
(10/21/2013 10:38:19 AM)
Emunah & Bitachon
It is time to remind ourselves that despite the fact that we are experiencing a shidduch crisis the world over, and it is not exclusive to Great Britain, or any other geographical location, it is actually the aibishter who runs the world, the aibishter who is mezaveg zivvugim and we should place our emunah and bitachon in Him, and increase in our good deeds, and iy"h we will be zoche to celebrate many many simchos on all sides of the world!
(10/21/2013 10:47:55 AM)
England has the best football teams!! Best pubs! And we have a queen.. Unlike Americans, u have Barack Obama lol!!!
(10/21/2013 10:55:54 AM)
british daughter in law
we have a british daughter in law and she is a wonderful person!! great sense of humor! fantastic mother and wife!! my married daughters were so nervous when they heard there brother would be going out with an english girl and were sure it wouldn't work out...well a couple years later.... we ALL love her, BH!
(10/21/2013 11:14:21 AM)
To all the Aousis
For all those crying that Australia is even worse, there is a reason for that. In my experience, 95% of Australian girls want to live in Australia. I love AU (for touring purposes), but let's be real, it's a hole. American boys don't want to move to AU. Be more flexible, and so will we.
(10/21/2013 11:20:45 AM)
Shlichus only in America!
Many people have "shlichus" on their profiles, but when a good name comes up in the UK, Australia, South Africa and the like - "its too far!" Unfortunately a very limited understanding of what shlichus actually is! Maybe part of kinnus Hashluchim/Shluchos should be to educate parents in Chabad in what real shlichus means. Did the Rebbe only want shluchim in America??
(10/21/2013 11:24:46 AM)
Hands down best comment is no. 15 ... love it
(10/21/2013 11:31:53 AM)
Response to #122
When we did Shiduch across the ocean they paid half of the expenses. If a girls comes to America she dates you and it doesn't work out then let her date another, why not? May you find your bashert real soon.
(10/21/2013 12:15:12 PM)
(10/21/2013 12:19:09 PM)
This has turned into a mess.. Someone decided to write it- clearly someone in need of a shidduch and actually has a very valid point!! All British girls go to the same seminars as Americans and they integrate and become friends.. Obviously not all are the same type and u can't sterotype!! One thing true is that I feel they are more like frum than chassidish.. But this is perfect for lots of bochurim-
(10/21/2013 12:25:48 PM)
English girl. Who prob won't get married again))
Today I woke up and hoped my day would be good. Then I saw this article and I just couldn't stop laughing. Thanks to ever wrote this.
(10/21/2013 12:35:26 PM)
These comments are hilarious!!!
(10/21/2013 12:36:25 PM)
Totally true.. I was advised not to date Brits.
Yup, Its true... When I was dating, I was told to avoid the british girls b/c well, they are crazy. Funny thing is, its pretty awesome... They are cookie in a british humor way... Or, at least the ones I have met. I think people are saying that b/c of what may be going on in the schools there. However, I think those sentiments came from people who really don't understand the culture... Here in America, there isn't really any CULTURE, so where there is, its hard to relate. Brits often have a bit more sophistication, and depending on the home from which they came, understand what it means to have a little class. Perhaps on some level, it wouldn't hurt others to learn from this.
(10/21/2013 12:45:36 PM)
English are amazing
we are polite (unlike other countries....) we are reserved and there is nothing wrong with us. people should not be so utterly shallow and generalize about the English . G-D SAVE THE QUEEN.(TO ALL THOSE Americans who might have forgotten.... just remember who used to rule over you)
(10/21/2013 12:53:06 PM)
there are some great English boys available
From Manchester and London
(10/21/2013 1:16:43 PM)
Don't forget LEEDS
(10/21/2013 1:48:52 PM)
You don't like britts... then You don't marry one! You don't get along with Yanks... Guess what? You don't marry one. No one needs your animosity!

(10/21/2013 1:56:08 PM)
to no 2
not true
to no 15:
English girls don't necessarily fit with English boys
(10/21/2013 2:59:47 PM)
english boy to 182
We are not reserved!!! We are open books we say what we mean, and mean what we say, Big Ben is reserved..and all the Americans in madame tussauds, the royal family are a good example of class and dignity to Great Britain (well usally)
(10/21/2013 3:18:59 PM)
To 144
So well said. Totally agree with you
(10/21/2013 3:24:45 PM)
golly wog
After reading all this...i could use a warm beer.
(10/21/2013 3:33:56 PM)
oy vey
I read up until comment #147...I just can't anymore! Can someone compile a list of all the good comments so I can enjoy all the entertainment without wasting as much time??
(10/21/2013 3:35:01 PM)
'British girl'
How can you say all these things??
Have you ever lived in London? Have you ever even been to London??
Just because you met one British girl and had a bad experience doesn't mean we all like that! Imagine I met one American and based my whole opinion of American people on that one person....
Just remember everyone is different. I'm not denying that English girls might be different but it doesn't mean its a bad thing and we not all the same.
(10/21/2013 3:35:22 PM)
Best of British
Talking about best of British. What about the Grodzinski Chelsea buns! parkway fresh cream cakes! schwartzwald!!! what about the fruits and vegetables, you wanna taste real tomatoes and cucumbers, come to England, see what you're missing. Our relatives from NY whenever they came to England couldn't get over how well fresh produce tasted in England!! "In England's green and pleasant lands!!"
(10/21/2013 3:36:24 PM)
i read this article and laughed so hard...then i realised it had been written by an american..it couldnt possibly be funny!! This is a ridiculous if not totally absurd how you can stereotype millions of people?then again i have dated some american boys in my youth....i think i should write a comedy ..sorry i mean article about them.
(10/21/2013 3:37:43 PM)
To no 42
South Africa is
(10/21/2013 3:40:00 PM)
I live in Australia and starting to think it's not far enough!!
(10/21/2013 3:40:43 PM)
to 167
How old?
(10/21/2013 3:43:45 PM)
There is nothing wrong with the British girls!!!
If there is any rejection - it's simply because it's not bashert!
I know many American men who are married to British women, and are very happy!!!!

England has a very warm community, there is never a person left out, with nowhere to go for a shaboss meal.
(10/21/2013 3:53:24 PM)
To no 92
Why not try saying that to a mirror:)
(10/21/2013 3:54:06 PM)
144 for president
(10/21/2013 4:01:31 PM)
seriously this is not normal!! Get over your close mindedness. the english are amazing people and the americans have one or two things to learn from them
(10/21/2013 4:03:00 PM)
Beautifully British
For those English that have moved away from these green pastures, remember winter evenings of misted street lights over hanging flower baskets, the milkman, Weetabix, the warmth and the close camaraderie of a caring community, little children perfectly dressed in proper school uniform, the parks, and so it goes on... so much nostalgia. What a place!
(10/21/2013 4:46:35 PM)
english girls are the best
my head counselor was english and she is the best!!
(10/21/2013 5:03:32 PM)
Dorset cereals...
with individual yoghurt cups that you don't have to put back in the fridge and try finish off before it goes sour!
(10/21/2013 5:27:07 PM)
to 192
Most people reading this dont know what a "TCP" salad is...
(10/21/2013 5:31:37 PM)
From an American
English girls have great humor ,,
Bochurim,,, your gana need that,, really need it,,
And they won't max out you CC.
And guess what, they've grown up in communities that have other types of Jews, so their open minded. Not like CH
(10/21/2013 5:35:15 PM)
Comment 195
Could not have put it better myself. Thank G-d for the Pacific!!!
(10/21/2013 5:46:48 PM)
to 201
Was that all on stamford hill road ;) ?
(10/21/2013 5:53:21 PM)
I agree with 191
Stop generalising assuming and predicting! My friend is English and she's a great catch:) kk I'm English too.

Everyone go drink some tea, chill and rethink your pathetic comments:))
(10/21/2013 5:57:54 PM)
My dcs were British and NORMAL.
No like seriously. Loved them!!!
(10/21/2013 6:02:53 PM)
Thank You!
I have never laughed so hard for a long time! As a Brit, married to an American, living in the US or A, I'd like to address a few of the items:

- Girls are more likely to have it harder then boys, in UK, Australia, South Africa, not because they are girls, but people know that many a time, the girl wants to move back to their home country, and the boys don't always want that.

- Yes, there are potentially some cultural differences between folks from different countries, but all being Chabad, we're all pretty close together in our mindset, etc.

- There's a general 'Brits are slow' etc. mentality in the US, that is totally made up.

- For those who comment about English humor - it's simply a different type of humor - normally very sharp and smart. Keep listening!
(10/21/2013 6:10:25 PM)
This is so wrong
Like someone said- nationality isn't your neshama!
Seriously if ur so in a box and can't deal with a good British girl.. Then marry one more "your kind"- but to write such nasty comments is unreal!!! What is becoming of us?? Not to mention that British girls are so real and sincere.. Maybe a first impression would make them appear "snobby" or cold.. Due to the accent but that says nothing! It's like judging a persons personality by their stutter!!! Meet a group of British girls then make ur statements. A scientist doesn't do research on one object and decide.. U gotta rlly look at a group in order to come to a conclusion so if you have met one British girl and you're judging then I'm sorry for u cuz that's rlly sad:(
And HOW DARE someone say they married a Brit and divorced!!! OMG !! That is so not nice!! Never mind an article- it's called being nice!!! Divorces are another story alltogether - maybe in your case it was bc of your nationalities but give me a break- stop making like British are like some extra terrestrials off a planet!!! Are you seriously not able to mix with anyone but your country ppls... Good to know.
(10/21/2013 6:12:49 PM)
If anyone is dating an English girl right and reads this.. They're gonna feel awkward.
(10/21/2013 6:22:04 PM)
My English Husband
My English Husband is caring, principled and an amazing, selfless father. In short, "the best of British"
(10/21/2013 7:01:16 PM)
To be brutally honest
Funny. In the UK Americans have a reputation of being a little dumb.

Most americans are Anglophiles (meaning they love british People). I have noticed that the Chabad Culture especially in Crown Heights is extremely prejudiced and closed-minded. To the more educated American, nothing is more attractive than a Brit.:They're smart, cultured, educated and have class. Alas, many people in CH only learn about the world through the lens of ignorant prejudice
(10/21/2013 7:18:53 PM)
I need directions
I am new to CH, where Is the closest mall around here?
(10/21/2013 7:25:49 PM)
I loooooooooooooove post number 201
(10/21/2013 7:43:27 PM)

(10/21/2013 8:05:48 PM)
no problem
This oped isn't based on reality.
Almost all British girls marry non brits!
(10/21/2013 8:13:50 PM)
stop the madness
Do you want to be responsible for destroying possible harmoneous shiduchim that may be on thre verge of engagement. And this article could quiet easily stop all the progress in its tracks, this is the most obsurd and devastating article thats ever been posted , and in a like this time . When its never been so crutial , that we come together to and tackle this crisis, that we are all faced wiyh as a community, so please be cautious , what you comment, and post in the future. Its a huge resposibilty not to be taken lightly
(10/21/2013 8:33:02 PM)
Loyalties of brits are misplaced....
As can be seen from many testimonies from the comments made by the Brits here, they are apparently very proud and loyal to their royal family of inbred descendants of various thuggish, brutish gangs of Angles, Saxons, etc. As for us outside of the forcefully-United Kingdom, we know who the true Royalty is and The Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach is who we are loyal to. Forget the bagpipes, now is the time to sound the Shofrois, kinor and trumpets.
(10/21/2013 8:39:58 PM)
Memory lane
Who ever lives in firsby road we are going home right now............!!!!! Best memories!
(10/21/2013 9:06:02 PM)
I know of many who said theyd never marry 'british', 'french' 'israeli' (you name it) who went to marry exactly those.....english have a certain refinement. some of the most successful and talented come from there.
(10/21/2013 9:34:19 PM)
Different culture
Aussies save! vs. Americans spend!
Aussies = no debt
Americans = loads of debt
Aussies=live comfortably within their means
Americas= wake up 20 years later and don't know what hit them :)
(10/21/2013 9:41:48 PM)
Stamford Hill
No place on earth like Stamford Hill. You got to love the place
(10/21/2013 10:10:02 PM)
to #57
I'm "sure" he's sooooo happy!!! Imagine what would happen if he expressed or hinted anything to the contrary?!
(10/21/2013 10:15:20 PM)
wt about the french?
french boys and girls have always been rejected....
(10/21/2013 10:15:38 PM)
Ester Zirkind
Thank you everyone, that was a really good laugh.
And to all the wonderful English: chin up, put your best foot forward, you have so much to be proud of, you don't need to pay this the slightest heed. Though some of the comments were LOL moments. 160 for example.
(10/21/2013 10:20:49 PM)
Go English
I'm married to an English girl for nearly 2 decades and I can say with confidence and certainty that every English girl is a catch simply because she was brought up in England by English parents who instilled in them values Mentchlichkeit human decency sensitivity a core sense of devotion loyalty and they are the funniest people in the world to boot. Whoever turns down a Shidduch simply because the girl is English then by process of elimination we can cross off one more empty minded shallow American that doesn't deserve an English girl and everything they have to offer!!!!
(10/21/2013 10:29:32 PM)
We are by far
The classiest peoples. The bonds and bankers, the great British pound, the classiest dress sense, classiest cars, and know how to make an American seem a right fool (which the Americans seem to do themselves, don't need our help).
No stupid 21 year old rule either, we know how drink.
And a history like no ther country.
We are proud
(10/21/2013 10:33:45 PM)
Go english girls!!!
My favorite friends are english (and i have met a looott of girls from all over the world). They are refined and truly nice ppl.
(10/21/2013 10:37:50 PM)
North by Northwest
What do you get when a Brit marries an American?

A Canadian! Eh!
(10/21/2013 10:56:37 PM)
Cares to much to be silent
Mothers of Boys. Someone suggestion someone for your Son.
You are not interested for what ever reason.
Please don't say NO FOGET AND MOVE ON.
Just B/C She is not for your son.
She is for someone else son.
Think hard for a boy for this girl.
A neighbor, Friend , Fellow Worker etc etc .
(10/21/2013 10:58:21 PM)
to no. 226
We are not even going to start with frenchies thats a whole different parsha!
(10/21/2013 11:10:19 PM)
To 225
Lighten up - 'twas a joke( u obviously don't get our humor ) and if u read comment 228 you'll see just how happy he is!!!
(10/21/2013 11:32:08 PM)
Ester - You still make me laugh, after all these years....

(10/21/2013 11:50:23 PM)
b.a in rabinics seeker
What is open mindness refering to here
And if it what I think it is how can an english person which equeals square be open minded
(10/22/2013 12:24:22 AM)
new shidduch crisis looming
Tonight after seder was over in 770 crowds gathered around a bochur who isn't that chassidish and has a smart phone to read the latest comments on this article.

After reading all the great things England in general and English girls in particular have to offer everyone decided that from now on their first pick will be an English girl.
With only 50 subjects of the Queen available and about 1000 guys ready to get married, I smell a new crisis coming our way !
(10/22/2013 12:26:38 AM)
I am confused
Should I go out with. A Brit or a frenchy?
An Aussie or a TeimAny?
A koreani or Brazilian ?
(10/22/2013 1:13:40 AM)
I love the way everyone's so nostalgic.......but wouldnt step one foot back in this country!!! No-one wants to live in London, but that shouldnt put u off going out with an pommie, on the contrary, she's more likely to want to live in CH than s-o from another country. So.... go for it!!
(10/22/2013 2:25:31 AM)
237 - lol!
I hope I'm not waking up the whole house...... I'm laughing so loud!
(10/22/2013 2:26:39 AM)
No crime!
35 people get killed a year in England from gun crime. In america, on average, more get killed every 3 hours!!!
(10/22/2013 3:07:28 AM)
To number 238
Choose a South African
(10/22/2013 6:26:34 AM)
What happened to ahavas Yisroel?
If these comments were to be posted up as an example of our chabad-Lubavitch community, then I think even the people who have written such comments would be ashamed and embarrassed! What's happened to ahavas Yisroel? Would the rebbe want you to go out on shlichus and make fun of other yidden, especially because of their nationality.... Most definitely not. It is up to us to be setting an example to others of ahavas Yisroel, not chas vsholom making fun of other people.
(10/22/2013 10:11:49 AM)
Truth Be Told
Men like their food.

As a bochur, I have eaten American food, Chinese food, Italian food, Mexican food, Spanish Food, Israeli food, Moroccan Food, Teimmani food, Persian food, Japanese food, Indian curry food etc etc.


You wanna know why?

There are no "English restaurants" because English cuisine simply does not exist.

THAT is why English girls have a tough time with shidduchim.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach - so learn to cook (and I don't mean Yorkshire Pudding).
(10/22/2013 2:01:01 PM)
It makes sense now...
During the time I spent in London, I was startled to discover that Americans are stereotyped as being hyperbolic and dumb.

Reading these comments, I begin to see their point...


Have your (American) son or daughter travel to another country for a few months and see life through another culture's eyes.

Perhaps even learn another language and get to know people who (gasp!) don't speak English.

Whoever they end up marrying and wherever they end up settling, the impact of these experiences would be tremendously beneficial.
(10/22/2013 3:58:57 PM)
You peeps r soooooo racist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go England! Btw if I say u wont Marry someone, eg English, u will end up marrying an English! So move on in it lives and get in with it (if u even have a life)
(10/22/2013 4:43:23 PM)
244 not sure what your talking about, London has plenty restaurants. Thats the last to worry about anyway.

The point here is very clear.
For all those that generalize about English people. Your all missing out, there are beautiful, outgoing pretty girls here in London.
Don't jump to conclusion and take time to look in to a name that is offered from out of town.
Maybe you will see surprises.
(10/22/2013 5:35:46 PM)
What about french girls who speak english fluently, went to te same sem as all of you? And I'm not talking about those who never integrated rather on the ones who are very Quick to adapt to Any mentality? Also willing to go on shlichus? Also very chassidish, classy and genuine....
(10/22/2013 5:56:11 PM)
Brit and frenchies
Why dont the brit want to look into frenchies instead of trying to stick to us americans who don't appreciate you as you are? I think british and frenchies should get married together.... I know there are great boys and girls in these two countries!!!! Btw they're in a way more open minded than us crownheighters who never really saw anything else than our own country!!
(10/22/2013 6:01:43 PM)
London has a very nice comunnity.
There is no shortage of food.
(10/22/2013 6:22:12 PM)
Does this article have a record # of comments? Is THIS the pressing issue of the decade?
(10/22/2013 7:08:55 PM)
Are u kidding??!! Golders green rd is known to have the most kosher restaurants ( starting from Brent street) along a single road than any other place in the world!!!!
(10/22/2013 7:50:29 PM)
You must have alot of time on your hands, lol
(10/22/2013 8:28:05 PM)
to 244
Lol!! ur funny! And the English are funnier actually taking u seriously!
That is, you might just be a Brit urself.
(10/22/2013 8:34:29 PM)
try being a crown heightser!!!
they call us
narrow minded, materialistic ,parochial , unsophisticated, brash
head in the sand, attached to the apron strings, one dimentional,
uncouth lacking class, unwordly "farchnoyked"
Do you understand now why I and so many of my friends have had so many birhtdays on our own?
Stop the name calling and judge us on our own merit.
(10/22/2013 9:01:27 PM)
If you have money ,you can be from the moon, that you have a line wanting to married you
(10/22/2013 11:04:13 PM)
The Most Stupid Comments Ever
I am not British at all, but the comments here both pro-Brit and anti-Brit are beyond stupid, stupid, stupid.
I know some English people that are the classiest, most refined and wonderful in every way, and some that are not.

The reason, in my opinion, why there is a shidduch crisis, whether in England, US, SA or Australia or anywhere is that people HAVE ROTTEN midos and say MEAN things because THEY ARE JEALOUS - mostly other classmates/sem mates.
That is the problem. Stop the Lashan Hara and it will all stop.
255 coomments with Lashan Hara against US, English, Australian and on and on...THIS is the problem. The problem is that people are quick to say negative things...when in reality NOBODY is perfect and NOBODY is a 'top person'. Most people are average with some below and some above.
But there is a fantasy of getting Ms. perfection and compounded with that is that people are ready to talk LASHAN Harah and say unwarranted NASTY things that is creating the shidduch crisis.
And YOU know who YOU are.

Stop the Lashan Harah and the shidduch crisis, stops And by the way principals of seminaries are not immune to this disgusting behavior.

Years ago, people tried to highlight the positive, now they highlight the negative.

Someone called me recently about a girl and they said: Tell me her Chosronos. Hello? Really? Who are YOU to decide? One's maalo, is another's chasoron.
Say nice things. If there is really an crazy problem, you say it, but if in your opinion you don't know if she is the BEST cook or BEST student or BEST dresser...shut up!

Lets stop with all this high and mighty Lashan Harah, whether it is against people from a certain region, city or a person who you think is NERDY. Enough already. Stop the bad mouthing...
(10/22/2013 11:30:30 PM)
For all you defending kosher cuisine you just proved the point about British thick-headedness. Yes there are restaurants. But, um, they are sephardic, morrocon, chinese etc. There is no distinct ENGLISH restaurant ie English food - and bangers and mash don't count. Your PAvlovian response proves the point. Brits sighhh. I say, can't live with them, can't live without them. Try that for 60 happily married years.
(10/23/2013 3:07:54 AM)



(10/23/2013 5:55:30 AM)
Out of all Orthodox Jewry, our boys probably experience other cultures, religions & world events more than most others their age (Merkos Shluchos, Yeshiva etc) - Ironic then that a lot of people commenting on here seem to be extremely prejudiced, discriminatory & spiteful?

Only consolation is that probably most people commenting, are some bored teenagers having a laugh - because if this is really the view of the Chabad today, then it's come to a sad state & there will be a lot of girls put off Chabad boys - I know some already....

Intolerance of others is not such an attractive characteristic :) - Bear that in mind guys....
(10/23/2013 8:07:01 AM)
If by Cool you mean Modest, Talented, Elegant and Intelligent etctc.... then guilty as charged...
Reading some of these posts I was struck by how 1) How sad it is I am wasting so much precious time reading ludicrous comments and 2) How absurd this whole subject is.
1) Each place has its Maalos and Chisroinos, Who is to say which is better.
2) Each boy/girl is pre-destined to marry their bashert. By vetoing out of hand a whole segment of Klal Yisroel because of their birthplace is not only foolish, but Sinas Chinom, and self defeating.

Hey aren't we Chabad? The lamplighters of the world, the ones who travel the four corners of the earth to bring light and love and G-d to those unfortunate enough to be in the dark? And we cannot have the basic consideration for each other with all this name calling and stigmatization?!!

So basically Chabad is a farce, a skit. One mask, one attitude for the outside world to bring us honor and prestige, but behind "closed doors", this ugly blacklisting for no good reason.

Here are a few observations of my own:
I have traveled to extensively worldwide over the years, and without exception, anywhere I found myself, if there was a group talking loud with no regard for their surroundings.. you guessed it.... they were Americans. So yes, the English may give the impression of being more sedate, more reserved, but honestly, I would rather be that than the "all knowing " crass Americans who think they own the world.

Being divorced, I cannot begin to tell you how many guys I have spoken to and dated who are SPECIFICALLY looking for a European rather than the spoiled, never satisfied, loud-mouth Americans they were married to. And YES, Americans get divorced too, it is not a state monopolized by the English as someone intimated earlier.

In comparing Crown Heights girls to Chabad girls around the world... If what you are looking for, your son, grandson, brother, nephew.... is a girl with a barely there skirt 12 inches above the knee, low necklines that leave NOTHING to the imagination, short sleeves (or no sleeves) barely covering their hair, bare legged with flip flops etc, then congratulations you need look no further than your backyard. However, if you're looking for substance, you may have to cast your net a bit wider.... dare I say Great Britain?

This is one of the reasons why Moshiach has not come. Bad enough we have the world at large who thinks ill of us, even sadder there is such Sinos Chinom between each of the Jewish sects, don't forget the whole Sephardi/Ashkenazi rift.... Now this polarization within our own community!?

Unfortunate but true, it is with increasingly greater difficultly I find myself proud of being Chabad in the last 20 years...

If you have something to say about this post... Kol Hakavod, but I wont be reading it as I have far better things to do with my life and my time.
(10/23/2013 10:05:28 AM)
To #221 - Firsby Road Rules!! :)
Wouldn't trade my English upbringing for an American one ever! Proud to be a Brit! ;)
(10/23/2013 10:22:25 AM)
To 243
Agree entirely, what a sorry state of affairs
(10/23/2013 11:30:34 AM)
Xenophobic much?
Need I say more?
(10/23/2013 5:35:19 PM)
A diamond dealer has an opportunity to buy an extremely expensive, top quality, rare diamond. The profits from the purchase of this diamond would turn him into a millionaire - it would completely turn his life around.

He is absolutely delighted at the prospect & is already planning his new life.

However when he finds out this particular diamond is sourced from India, he turns down the offer.

Need I say more?

(10/23/2013 6:00:17 PM)
get off your high horse!!!
what is money to a life time of happiness and nachas?
(10/23/2013 6:24:36 PM)
I didn't get the memo...
Are we going back to the days of 12 tribes?
(10/23/2013 7:22:27 PM)
English bochur.....
I think England has some very fine specimens. I can say from experience!!!
(10/23/2013 9:27:51 PM)
money talks
experience says money talks and Very LOUD!
(10/24/2013 3:52:43 PM)
To 146
"I feel very sorry for you all. You say you don't want English girls....so stay single. You think ANY girl is clamoring to marry such closed-minded, prejudiced idiots? I don't think so."

HEAR HEAR! Utter Codswallop!!!
(10/24/2013 6:12:32 PM)
I'm British
I'm British and I'm proud
And I'll sing it out loud
Bc 4eva that's wat ill b
I'm British and I'm proud and that's without a doubt
Bc the queen is always watching over me. Lol
(10/24/2013 6:20:04 PM)
CH is not known for its open mindedness
i cant believe the stupidity that I'm reading, the mothers saying "never an English girl for my precious american son!" I've never heard such closed-minded nonsense in my life! I've lived in America for many years and I can tell you neither country produces more or less "cold" girls both are filled with beauty and talent although I will say that the British education system leaves the british girls with the ability to think for themselves much more than the Crown Heights education system - is that what all you mothers and boys are afraid of? a girl who thinks? probably. Either way, what matters is that you love each other - oh wait you extremists don't believe in love... i forgot, oh well enjoy the spouse that your overprotective mother chose for you!
(10/24/2013 6:25:22 PM)
most bizarre article
how strange of collive to post this...anyway i dont believe this has been mentioned in the past 600 comments but English girls know how to be a real and true friend,unlike mates across the pond who have far more shallow relationships.So how many eyes do i hear for the Brits?(Only the english get that!!)
(10/24/2013 8:13:06 PM)
del boy
One thing is for certain after reading these comments...English sense of humour cannot be beat!So any boy that wants to laugh through life go get yourself an English lass.
(10/24/2013 8:19:11 PM)
American Vrs British
Its all bashert. I am SY and born in US, married Lubavitch british and could not be happier.
I personally dont see any advantage to marrying American, but do what makes you happy and just get married.
(10/25/2013 4:45:17 AM)
English Chef
okay ihere we go. i am a 30 year old man looking for a shidduch. i have been told that because i am english i cant get a shidduch in the USA it is not only hurtful and just downright fustraiting.

i am also an english chef. YES ther is not set english cuisine, but that does NOT mean we cant cook. i trained for three years to become a chef and i can honestly say that i am prout to be a good chef.

at least the english dont base thier cuisine on burgers and fries.
(10/25/2013 4:45:51 AM)
National brands, reflect national people.
Land Rover V Suburban
Burbbery V Calvin Klein
Church's (shoes) V Kenith Cole
The running difference between the comparisons is this.... the USA brands / people are brash, loud, mass and cheaply produced and disposable
UK brands, - understated, elegant, and quality!!!
(10/25/2013 7:58:12 AM)
Married to an English Wife
I am writing to say that I am happy to have married and English wife.

Okay, Miriam, are you happy now? I wrote what you forced me to, can I come in now? It;s freezing and raining outside!
(10/26/2013 8:52:13 PM)
England's History, etc.
I can understand anybody being proud of the history of the country they grew up in, except in the case where that country has a history of anti-Semitism; which means I can't understand those comments that extoll the history of England. BTW, I do frequently find British girls to be better bred, more mature and less spoiled than American girls so I have to agree with those who feel that outside of one's culture is the primary reason American bochurim are reluctant to date an English girl.
(10/27/2013 12:27:36 AM)
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