Standing Up (or Sitting) For Others

By Mendy Pellin

How would you react to someone who sat down as soon as they started reading the Rebbe’s letter under the chuppah? When I saw it happen, I was overwhelmed with deep admiration and respect for the man; everyone else’s reaction was quite to the contrary.

In 2005, I was injured in an accident and, as a result, was confined to a wheelchair for several months. Steps and narrow doorways became my enemies. Not wanting to be seen in my “old man’s chair,” I avoided it like the plague. I pushed myself around (inconspicuously) on an office chair when possible and generally stayed away from public events.

However, my physical impairment was not going to stop me from celebrating the wedding of my good friend, Rabbi Chaim Danzinger. Arriving early at the chuppah in Pittsburgh, I transferred from the “nebach chair” to a folding chair in the front row and asked a friend to hide evidence of the other chair.

The seats quickly filled up. Sitting next to me was an old acquaintance from the Ukraine, Rabbi Akiva Romanovsky. We didn’t speak each other’s language, but we caught up with hand gestures and a broken Yiddish that neither of us understood.

As the proceedings got underway, my heart skipped a beat when I heard the MC ask everyone to please rise for the reading of the Rebbe’s letter. I couldn’t. I watched everyone stand up as I helplessly sat in the front row.

After the first few words were uttered, someone from behind gave me the classic, “Nu-uh! Stand up!”

Without hesitation Reb Akiva, realizing what was happening, sat down next to me. He didn’t want me to be the only one to get dirty looks. The two of us just sat there in the front row shrugging off all the “nu-uhs” from the crowd.

It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. A man that lives for the Lubavitcher Rebbe day and night sat down during the Rebbe’s letter so a fellow Jew wouldn’t feel alone in a helpless situation. That gesture was a sign of true leadership and heroism.

This story came to mind when I was thinking how to describe Meyer Seewald, founder of Jewish Community Watch, the organization seeking awareness and justice for young victims of abuse in the frum community.

Here is a man that is getting countless “nu-uh’s” from folks who either don’t understand or are uncomfortable with what he’s doing. But he doesn’t care. He does what he knows to be the right thing. He sits quietly next to all the victims of abuse and shrugs it all off. He is a hero to them.

Where many of our community leaders have shied away from addressing this issue head-on, Meyer has devoted himself to doing the dirty work that needs to be done to keep our children safe.

I don’t usually write these kinds of letters. This may be a first. The reason why I felt the urge to write this letter of support is because I was against this organization after someone I knew and respected was posted on the wall of shame. But instead of writing nasty comments, I decided to call the dude behind the site to voice my frustration. How could he just ruin a family based on a young man’s claim?

Turns out I was just misinformed about how this organization works.

For a name to be added on the “Wall of Shame,” they (yes, ‘they’. This is not a one man show) require a several victims coming forward and/or concrete evidence to fit their parameters. There is a board that reviews all the information and only folks that get a unanimous vote are posted (I hope they make the names of the board public soon).

You may disagree with their methods, and that’s fine. But don’t let your criticism be an excuse for inaction. One thing that we can all agree on is that the issue of abuse in our community must be addressed. Continued silence is not an option.

I write this as a father who wants a safe world for his kids. A world where parents, schools and camps aren’t in a dangerous state of denial. I write this as a person who is fed up with reading negativity toward someone who has had the courage to stand up (or sit down) and make a difference in cleaning up our community. There will be less kids abused this summer because of him.

As with my friend Reb Akiva, I’m confident that the Rebbe is proud of the work Meyer Seewald and the Jewish Community Watch is doing. My hope is with this information you won’t be the guy in the crowd that says “nu-uh.”