May 23, 2013
What to Look for in Shidduchim

Rabbi Nachman Wilhelm of Online Smicha discusses what characteristics to look for when considering a shidduch.

The weekly question in halacha is presented by

Are you single? Visit the leading frum dating site, to find your bashert. Using an unparalleled matching system and cutting edge technology, ensures the safety and privacy of every user and manually screens profiles.

Most Read Most Comments

Bookmark and Share
Opinions and Comments
gelt helps
(5/23/2013 5:45:16 PM)
to #1
(5/23/2013 6:58:59 PM)
mazel tov rabbi for your daughter!!
(5/23/2013 9:19:33 PM)
The Rebbe's list
1. Has fear of Heaven
2. Good Middois, Kind, compassion, Humble, Refined,
3. Once the couple meet there MUST be attractin of the heart (hamshichas halev)
4. Health: Emotional and Phisical

Not to check carefully for the above is reckless and dangerous
(5/23/2013 9:59:40 PM)
to #4
and those with some physical or emotional deficiencies are not entitled for shidduch?
(5/24/2013 9:56:19 AM)
abe montreal
whats about" yihus"
in the frume world if you don't have Yihus
they don't even look at you!!
(5/24/2013 7:25:21 PM)
to #5
good question
there are some conditions which do not interfere with ones ability to have and raise children

however there are other conditions (phisical and mental) which absolutely DO preclude one from being able to have a happy/healthy/functional family
and those who are so challenged need first to seek appropriate treatment to the point where an a (trained certified) expert renderes them capable enough not to ch"v ruin the next generation
(5/26/2013 2:16:32 AM)
the rebe doesnt consider YICHUS an essential!
provided that he/she is jewish and Has the IKARIM listed in post 4
(5/26/2013 2:17:47 AM)
if the boy or girl are otherwise solid, well adjusted kind and frum... their're personal merit helps them get the right shiduch and to stay clear of anyone who has the wrong values such as placing yichus first!
(5/26/2013 2:24:09 AM)
to #4 and #7
What about the ability to spell?
(5/28/2013 8:01:24 PM)
to # 10 4 and 7
No need to spell correctly with a bissele gelt
(5/29/2013 7:51:49 PM)
Thanks Rabbi for the insights. They are a big help.

Yaakov Mark
(5/30/2013 8:18:25 PM)
I heard that the Rebbe Rashab said that a bachur should look for in a shidduch primarily 4 things and in this order:
1) yiras shomayim/tznius
2) good midos
3) seichel
4) meshichas halev/ physical attraction
(6/16/2013 8:04:08 AM)
40 days before being born...
people are so focused on yichus and treating bts and gerim as second class citizens that I would be surprised if anyone actually marries the person the bas kol declares for them...
(9/4/2014 9:36:22 AM)
To #14
Of course if a person gets distracted by external/unimportant things, the person who is meant for them will be the person who will end up with them in the end. Either if the person has the physical qualities and Yichus that the other is looking for, or something else will happen by Hashgacha Pratis to make them find each other. This is Hashem we're talking about, and He knows even if we don't.
(2/13/2019 6:15:37 PM)
What's Your Opinion? Post a Comment

Your Comment:

Comments must be approved before being published. Thank You!

Make COLliveŽ your homepage | Contact Us
© 2019