Mar 11, 2012
Video Class: When to Punish?

Rabbi Nochem Kaplan, Director of the Merkos Chinuch Office, presents a series of videos on Education. Lesson 3: "When to Punish?"

In the next piece on “responsibility” Rabbi Kaplan will discuss some of the basics of setting rules: they must be clear and unambiguous, they must be consistent, and the consequences for breaking them must be clear and sure, among others.

It is also our responsibility to help our children understand that consequences are the direct result of their own actions; they are not the result of our frustrations but of their poor choice.

For more inspirational Jewish video, check out:!

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I didn't watch the video but NEVER PUNISH! Educate, explain there are consequences. Punishing? Never
(3/11/2012 11:33:50 AM)
this is the best class yet!
very clear, as a parent this is great, will there be more classes?
(3/11/2012 11:53:16 AM)
will there be more content like this from Rabbi Kaplan? can you expand this series?
Chani Levy
(3/11/2012 11:57:22 AM)
More of Rabbi Kaplan
You can see more videos or Rabbi Kaplan on TorahCafe.
Here is a link to his page:
(3/11/2012 12:19:15 PM)
very nice
Thank you rabbi kaplan
(3/11/2012 1:42:22 PM)
Lav Davka
A Groiser yashir koiach ... but have a question... at the end you say that we have to be role models etc... yes we have to be aidel say excuse me.. eat bakovidick... but if we have to be the exact role model for our kids then what happens when we dont do like we preach... Does that give the kid to say "well you ate with your mouth full so can I ???? etc... Does the kid think that they are now on the same level as the parents?...I am not a mechanich an official one anyways but I am a Tatteh and a Zadeh... and i raised my kids that they need to have respect at all times especially to teachers etc neighbors family but it is a fine line giving your kid the right to question you if you give him a rule and then you dont follow it of course all depends on the situation but there also must be Yireh as well of the parent... That your parents love you and even if you do not understand what the reason is for them telling you they must be taught that their parents know best and they are not entitled .... Rabbi Kaplan .... For myself the "old" ways ..... fun der alteh heim worked best.. For me ... I sometimes wonder if all the "trouble" we are having from this generation is because we decided that we had to throw out the baby with the bath water... NOT everything was "WRONG" with the chinuch we had from der alteh Dor .... With Respect..
(3/11/2012 3:07:27 PM)
to #1
it's a little odd to give a comment without watching the video
(you REALLY don't have 10 minute to watch it?)
any case Rabbi Kaplan explain it very well as the punishment
is the consequence
(3/11/2012 4:06:21 PM)
This is one of the most lucid, qualified teachers I have ever seen.
Very impressed with this man's ability to teach. Some of the most well-worth time spent listening to him. Nice job, Rabbi Kaplan. Keep up the excellent work!
(3/13/2012 3:59:04 AM)
I'm an educator
Rabbi Kaplan, your message cuts across all walks of life. Amazing message. Keep up the good work.
(7/5/2012 7:38:38 AM)
From a practising parent (father)
Well, I have been practicing what Rabbi Kaplan just said now for two years, my wife's family are very soft and have a total different approach at that.

I can tell that when my son with on vacation with my inlaws, he was such a hard kid all the sudden, and they all explained that he simply grew and that's why he's acting difficult and seems to be a big part of the day not happy weening. Well, he got back home to his daddy (me), and I refreshed the rules for him and in a matter of 1-2 weeks, this child became such a good and happy kid. A part of being a good child, listening and following to rules, he became a very happy kid too which he was lacking that while he was at this grandparents. I must add one important point that I realize Rabbi Kaplan did not mention it in this session, is that along with the rules and consequences, I share tremendous of love to my child and always explain him that I love him100% of the time to it's fullest extend including those times that I make him pay for his consequences. Furthermore, my wife which is much more lenient to my child, my child would come over to her in a "kvechie" way asking for something, while when he comes to me, he asks so polite. The reason for that is, that I made it very clear to my child that by asking something polite, I listen. When asking something in a "kvechy" way, does get you nowhere.

Most important things is, STICK to your rules!!!
(8/18/2013 8:08:56 PM)
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