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Friday, 12 Adar II, 5784
  |  March 22, 2024

Where Does the Buck Stop?

Sholom Bayis Blog with Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch. Question #2: We don't always agree on money issues. Who has the final say? Full Story

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Communication!
December 19, 2012 10:47 am

We split everything equally: We both ask each other before spending any money (usually), and all decisions are made together. We also split cooking, cleaning, diaper duty, etc. We agreed on this before we got married, by the way. I think a big part of the problem is that couples don’t talk about the little things like this prior to the wedding.

BTW, #16, I thought you were my husband, but when I asked him, he didn’t remember writing the comment!

split plan
June 6, 2010 5:08 am

There’s not a single answer here for example I’d say to #1 that I’m a husband who cooks as much as my wife so your’re explination does’t apply. Personally, since we both work we both contribute to our monthly budget and we have a plan how to spend it and need to keep to that plan. About discretionary spendng and using savings as in this story it’s more complicated but simply put if the savings are joint such as wedding money) for him to spend it without concent is pretty bad, she’ll feel like she was robbed. If it was… Read more »

Book for good marriage
June 4, 2010 11:29 am

Any wife that wants a happy marriage should read the book The Surrenderd Wife and follow it.

agent #41
June 3, 2010 12:08 pm

money makes the world go round

How about Da'as Torah?
June 3, 2010 10:23 am

there is a way Torah looks at this; the husband has his job and the wife has hers. he is responsible to bring in the money, she is in charge of the houshold matters, so if he decides on a investment, its his choice. if she wants something, he has to give it to her as it says “you must spend on your wife even if its more than what you have”, or if she feels they need a new table, they should get it, its in her department. but of course, if the wife is working, its a different… Read more »

English
June 3, 2010 10:16 am

I read this blog and this web site on a regular basis. I wonder why the commentators can not spell or speak proper English. Is it a Crown Heights thing??? It’s quite embarrassing. Have those that misspell heard of spell check??? Your message would take on a more serious meaning if you spell correctly.

Good and simple advice
June 3, 2010 12:54 am

Talk about stuff before it gets to complicated, talk talk and talk about it so everyone is clear about what’s expected of them.

Talking about money
June 3, 2010 12:24 am

This doesn’t apply to me as a women since I do work. But I think it may be helpful to give advice to those who don’t and who rely on their husband for every penny. Should the primary bread winner give their non working spouse a monthly stipend to cover expenses etc or should she/he be coming to him/her each time that they need it?

both
June 2, 2010 11:40 pm

In most cases the best is that both share the decisions, unless one thinks and trusts the other one as the best

agree
June 2, 2010 11:22 pm

#1 cant say thats the man thing, it depeds on the man and wife. and that are other big things to buy smaller than a house!!!!! that can cost just U$100 but its cinsidered a big buy. everyhting should be discuss nicely. maybe the one who is incharge of payng the energy bill could be the mans job if he is the tipe

To number 1
June 2, 2010 9:58 pm

Really? And when the wife is the one bringing in the whole paycheck, working her bottom off and going to school while the husband is unemployed he gets to make all the decisions? A bit like slavery if you ask me.

Esq.
June 2, 2010 9:08 pm

Very well stated. I could not agree more.

To #1
June 2, 2010 8:34 pm

And if the wife works she should just turn her paycheck over to her husband and have to ask for money when she wants to buy something? What world do you live on?? Marriage is a compromise and where mature couples talk about money issues.

i agree, there is no general
June 2, 2010 8:19 pm

husband and wife should make financial descisions jointly.

to number one
June 2, 2010 8:17 pm

there is always a co-pilot driving along with the main one

there is no general.....
June 2, 2010 7:47 pm

in a marriage you both need to come to the same conclusion……whether its the man or the woman…….in our household….i( the wife) manages the money…..and i am doing a fine job at it…….

I'm not sure its the solution
June 2, 2010 7:21 pm

I believe each one as different responsabilitd the women if she cook the men shouldn’t come and start getting involve and cook its the women departement same with money I believe in general its the men who handle the money (for sur in big decsion like buying a house the wife has to be involved) but in general it the men departement.
Its like on a plan you can’t have two pilot driving the plane!

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