By F. Scheinfeld
You said that they can depend on you, you hugged them and cried for them, you took on mitzvos… So what else can you do?
This year, Rachmana L’Tzlan, there are numerous boys and young men in the Crown Height community, and members of Anash around the world, saying Kaddish for a parent. Each of them, according to Chabad custom, lead their own minyan for Shacharis, Mincha and Maariv. Every weekday.
If you are not in such a position, Baruch Hashem, I implore you to offer the greatest support these guys need: send your boys to be a dependable part of (at least one of) their minyanim, every single day.
If your husband is the type to daven from home, or even to float into shul at a random time to catch a minyan- think about the families who’ve lost their husbands and fathers; men whose own wives and mothers sometimes send them out to ‘catch’ a Maariv and wonder if they will see them in fifteen minutes, or in three hours.
If you are broken-hearted for your friend, think about the minutes and hours he waits, late to work, frustrated that he cannot find that ninth guy.
From the depths of your sorrow for their loss, your true empathy for their situation, and your desire to do a mitzvah to elevate the neshama of their departed, make a commitment to stand by your friend, your neighbor, your comrade-in-yidishkeit, and join his minyan.
So call him up. Today. Right now. Pick up the phone and say, ‘Hey, friend, what time are your minyanim? Because you can count on me for that one, every day. I feel your pain. You can depend on me.’
May we know no more sorrow.
This is very wel said and unfortunately all too common today and too many minyanim needed.
Way to go Mrs F Scheinfeld very well said,very True and Heart felt. To all the Men Boys who Davin at home show a beautiful example to your children or your younger siblings and take the 30-40 minutes in the morning or the 15-20 minutes for mincha and mariv and davin with a minyan and help those who unfortunately lost a parent and have to davin with a minyan 3 times a day.
Mrs Scheinfeld your shever is very proud of you.
Thank you for writing such a heartfelt article with a clear and practical goal.
We are in shlichus and my husband had to work incredibly hard to assure he has a minyan when his mother passed away. The feelings of frustration, insufficiency, and the fear of failing one’s own parent are very real and it takes a toll on the person mentally and physically.
In big frum/chassidishe communities an ovel should not have to struggle with that.
Thank you for bringing awerness about it.
Also 9 and 10 is avaliable
This is the most caring, positive article I have read here in ages. Thank you for all the positive comments too.
One other thing you can do – if you have photos of the nifter(es) or pleasant memories please print them and share with the family after the shiva.
It’s so true to come let’s say to 770 and let’s say ppl are davening with you sometimes ppl talk in middle and ppl don’t answer or leave early, so pls take into consideration the guy at the umud on how he feels that this Kaddish is a connection with his father and by you talking or not answering its killing me inside. And also is seen ppl deliberately not answer amen but are quick to jump and say yechi after davening! I mean come on?! Pls next time your part of a minyan think of the bigger picture on… Read more »
7:30 monday – friday
9:00 Sunday.
306 Albany Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11213.
in chicago there is an email that goes out to inform people of a shiva, with the option to reply which minyanim you can make. this way people know in advance whom they can count on
Please come help out the 6:45am Minyan at Ksav Sofer (on Empire between Kingston and Albany)
We could really use your help.
So refreshing to read a col op-ed that’s loaded with positivity and good outcomes.
Only thing is, I was told not to say “I feel your pain”. Because you don’t! it’s not imaginable to those unexperienced, don’t play it down.
Reading these comments, mamush made me proud, usually the comments aren’t nice, but to see in every comment, people saying “how can I help” is really a sence of achdus!
CROWN HEIGHTS KEEP IT UP!
the 810 am amud is available in lefferts shull. 672 lefferts av. this is steady minyan year round.
maybe there is a way to have a a google spreadsheet or something like that with all those who need a minyan to enter their names location and times of minyan, so that those who are looking to help can see where to go,
Once a minyan is complete join another that needs
Moshiach Now!!!
I run an org called LINKS & Shloime’s Club. I lost my mother when I was 9….never forgot the pain and BH the staff is made up Of many like me who have “been there”. Many many many CH and Lubavitch families BH have connected with us as have children and teens the world over. Dear author, minyan dependenability is about so much more than just a Minyan. It’s about a community saying “we are really really here for you.” And a lot more of that is needed here and everywhere. I’m inspired by the comments. Let’s hope this conversation… Read more »
So post the link to the group chat so people can click go join an on demand minyan
Thank you for this easy, free, yet TANGIBLE way to help the yosom, and ease their way.
Even adults saying kaddish have a difficult time – AND – if you are at a minyan with someone saying kaddish, PLEASE stay for the whole tefilla, even the last kadeishim! Seems this is a real issue, that men do not stick it out, and at the end of the davening, there is not a minyan – be considerate, and invest the few minutes!
Thats very nice, but it needs money which most dont have. Regarding a minyan I’ll be happy to make a group which would be on standby and happy to help out. I can be reached at 706-962-3222
Very well said, as a young yasom myself, this is a challenge that can only be understood if you though it r”l. We should never know of suffering and Bochurim saying Kaddish.
We need a group of men and woman that will help that Yosmim out not only in Minyon Ruchmiyois but with money and food.. I just came from a house with no food for dinner and no money to pay for the father Kaver let alone rent money .. we need to become the warm and caring community we once were…
Finding a minyan can be so challenging. this is a very practical, relatively easy thing to do to help mourners in a tangible way.
Thanks for that