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Friday, 28 Adar I, 5784
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Response to Tragedy In Our Midst

"It was not my first time being at such a funeral and once again I pray that it was the last one," says Aliya's Rabbi Moishe Feiglin. Full Story

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Mr feiglin
December 6, 2016 7:59 am

As a person in recovery Moshe feiglin you are doing what no one wants to do you are taking on the biggest hurdle of our generation and you are succeeding in a area where few succeed I really think it’s time as alumni of aliya and fellow Jew’s to get behind him and provide him the funding to succeed it’s time we out our issues aside and start to save the next generation rehab houses cost around 30000 a month cab u imagine what aliya can do with 30000 so my proposal is set up a fund and create your… Read more »

ppl looking like chassiddim selling drugs
December 2, 2016 7:34 am

there was a house in CH that was selling all kinds of drugs to our own, and to other frum ppl from other communities, in broad day light, IN CH, this was allowed to continue for years, (recently the police went in, and then a fire burnt down the house) however the problem continues, as there are other ppl who dress as lubavitchers who sell drugs to our kids, even in some shuls, lets not ignore this anymore, and do whatever we can to stop these evil individuals, it is time the community addresses this, maybe we have to awaken… Read more »

BR Alumnus
December 1, 2016 9:11 pm

The author is surely using the language he used to be sensitive to the family. It is up to thoses of us in recovery and our families to decide when,if and how much we want to be public with. Alcohol consumption,even jokes about it from shul rabbis, in our shuls and yeshivas is a huge problem that doesn’t seem to be being addressed.

Woman's rehab catering to the frum community
December 1, 2016 6:22 pm

Just as Hittoreri caters to the men in the frum community
There is a new Women’s residential treatment center catering to the frum community
Both facilities are amazing, professional and save lives!

Home and school!
December 1, 2016 5:02 pm

Going to school and being around fellow classmates struggling with such things, and seeing them go through what they do is hard. As a young person we don’t know who to turn to, we are confused and need the proper support. I do not understand why when I went to my principal did he tell me that he can’t speak about it or bring in a specialist because he can’t expose this issue to those who are not aware! What is that. Wake up. This is modern day where we BH have resources and people to deal with such things.… Read more »

NUMBER 28
December 1, 2016 3:43 pm

YOU ARE CORRECT. THE DRUG DEALERS MUST BE FOUND AND SENT TO THE AUTHORITIES!!

Addictions are real
December 1, 2016 3:35 pm

They really are. For some it’s internet, some it’s money, some it’s cigarettes, some alcohol and for some it’s other prohibited things.
When someone is an addict, people should embrace him and guide toward help for the sake of him, his wife, children and family.
Shaming a person, shunning his family are things that destroy people and don’t help them.
Another point: Why is an alcohol addcition different than an internet or drug addiction?
Some call one who would qualify as an alcohol addict ,a Chasidisher Yid, why???
Just a thought

http://www.aliyainstitute.com/
December 1, 2016 2:05 pm

Please share

FINALLY
December 1, 2016 1:48 pm

Someone had the courage to bring this horrific situation to light thank you rabbi feiglin
But I agree with other comments Even in your comment you were reluctant to say the words drugs or overdose
How can we even attempt to solve the problem if we can’t even say it’s name?

Spouse of an Addict
December 1, 2016 1:25 pm

Agree the shame must end! When my husband began to go to rehab, I was very honest with my entire community of what we were going through….and that was the last time anyone ever invited us out or came over. No one ever checked in on my to see how I was doing. When I most needed a friend, rabbi or support system we became a social pariah. Luckily i found support and genuine friendship from the MO community. Through my husband’s recovery we cannot go to a lubavitch school. This was the advise given to many recovering lubavitch addicts,… Read more »

Kudos
December 1, 2016 1:14 pm

Thanks to Moish our youth have a chance at least. Nothing is full-proof but this is better than shoving it under the rug which is common in chasidic/frum circles. Kudos all the way!!

School Programs Needed
December 1, 2016 12:06 pm

Every school should start drug prevention education in middle school and high school. This will be an opening for parents to discuss this at home as well.

NCFJE has help!
December 1, 2016 12:01 pm

NCFJE has their operation survival to help addicts, and they also have the kit to reverse an overdose!!!!
Call them and see what services they offer! 718 735 0200

mashkeh
December 1, 2016 11:13 am

Unfortunately i have to disagree with some of you i think mashkeh by farbrangins can be a very good thing as long as you keep to the rebbes takono of no more then4

BR Alumnus
December 1, 2016 11:04 am

As a spouse of an addict (who is now in recovery BH) I can say the shame and devastation are tremendous. We and our children also need support. Working toward ending the shame and isolation are a great step. One thing,please don’t offer suggestions if you don’t really know about addiction. It can be very destructive.

Boys, Girls women and men of all ages
December 1, 2016 10:49 am

Thank you for bringing up such an important subject matter. Just highlighting that addiction doesn’t discriminant against age, status and gender and is not just about alcohol or drugs. There are other just as potent addictions out there lets be aware of them all.
Thank you to the community who is pulling back the covers and thank you to those that are taking action.

Thank you rabbi and hittoreri
December 1, 2016 10:19 am

The place in la is really a life saver. Thank you for bringing this to everyones attention. I really hope more people will reach out and look into Hittoreri because it is the most equipped to help with those in our communities, covering the full range of needs. We should have moshiach already so there won’t be a necessity for these amazing places like Aliya and hittoreri

Hitoreri
December 1, 2016 10:12 am

Hitoreri is addressing this issue, by catering to the frum community and rehabilitating with love and professionalism. Yasher koach to the devoted staff, who are literally saving lives.

another thought
December 1, 2016 10:04 am

apparently there is/are one or a few people in CH who are supplying read selling drugs to our kids. we must get them out and stop that even going to the authorities

Thank you. “Not why the addiction but why the pain.” ― Gabor Maté
December 1, 2016 9:27 am

Gabor Mate – Highly Recommend to ready his book on addiction. This is the approach we need to take. “It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction Gabor MatéGabor Maté > Quotes Gabor Maté quotes (showing 1-30 of 132) “Not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours. It… Read more »

Talking in Code?
December 1, 2016 9:00 am

Moshe Feiglin, thank you for writing this. However, if you want to confront the beast you must state it’s name clearly. Hard drugs are decimating many kids in Crown Heights, and as a community we must fight it. That fight starts with being aware of the issue. We must identify precisely what we are fighting. We are fighting the scourge of drugs in our community’s!

The fear and stigma are still there
December 1, 2016 8:50 am

Great as this article is, the four crucial words that identify the issues are missing. Until there is courage and strength to say openly “alcohol”, “drugs”, “addiction”, and “overdose”, the fear and stigma will prevent facing those enemies and winning.

Rabbi Feiglin is a true Shliach
December 1, 2016 8:42 am

He could be a successful Shliach ANYWHERE but he chooses to stay with our boys. Please support him anyway possible. I know personally a close family member he helped him out of the depths…

Why only young men?
December 1, 2016 8:07 am

Children can also be suicidal.
And I completely disagree with this technique bit thank you for bringing this up

Hittoreri-caring staff and wonderful facility
December 1, 2016 7:50 am

Hittoreri has a wonderful and caring staff and they are reaching out to the frum circles
They provide a warm and safe environment and their facility is beautiful

Education
December 1, 2016 7:24 am

If we’re taking our heads out the sand then…
Their should be some education at the schools for kids and parents. What different drugs are, how to recognize if someone is using and what steps to take if cv’s someone we love is using.

Internet addiction!
December 1, 2016 7:07 am

Great work Rabbi!
Let us also not forget about the inappropriate internet addiction THAT IS REAL and that is tearing apart the men and marriages of our communities by the hundreds R”L.
Rather than banning the internet, which is impossible, therapy and 12 steps is the only solution for such addiction.

Dont want to 'tell' on friend
December 1, 2016 6:57 am

Last Shabbos I saw a young bochur who was heavily intoxicated from Shabbos mevorchim ‘farbrenging’. He’s in a ‘good’ Yeshiva. When an older bochur – a shliach – told me that this has been going on for a while, I asked, does the hanholo know about this? And he said, “Well, noone’s gonna ‘tell on him'”…Therein lies the problem. Boys don’t help their friends or the boys they are mashpia on because they don’t want to ‘get them in trouble’ when in reality their friend may be on the road to serious lifelong problems that will haunt him long after… Read more »

Let's get the drinking situation under control
December 1, 2016 6:39 am

I agree with #10, part of the honest discussion that HAS to involve rabbonim, mainstream educators, is the mashke situation. I sent my son to a top yeshiva to have him come home disgusted at the open policy of drinking under the talbe with the Rosh Yeshiva under the name of CHassidishkeit. Alcoholism is a deadly disease that many in our community struggle with in addition to drugs……. we have to develop real life policies and understanding of the danger of all these addictive substances, and not look away in the name of Chassidishkeit.

Self destructive
December 1, 2016 6:15 am

You cant help someone who does not want help. In any situation. They have to be open to it. How do we reach that point?

Agree #`10
December 1, 2016 5:59 am

Teachers and mashpiim shouldn’t be so quick to give out
mashke to youngsters. Mahspiim should treat mashke with respect, regarding this.

So very needed
December 1, 2016 2:23 am

Thank you Rabbi Feiglin. This is extremely important… And we have to sit together and work out how to reach the youth more and more importantly how to pick up the signals and calls for help around us and I our communities .. Unfortunately it has become all too common.. A real Chossid is a Pnimi and one who works on himself to be aware of the needs of others.. Or in other words a mentch – this is pikuach Nefesh

Parent & educator
December 1, 2016 2:00 am

Never having been in the position of trying to help my own child with these challenges, it’s easy for me to speak. Firstly, Rabbi Feiglin does amazing work, and the young men (& women) who attend his programs will tell you that. My comment is to parents and teachers. PLEASE…. be aware of your children. Look at their friends. Have they become more chutzpadik? Rebellious? Withdrawn? Lethargic? Have their eating habits changed? At the first sign, watch more carefully (not every child has an addiction problem, it may be school issues, which need to be addressed.) Then watch carefully for… Read more »

#12 well said
December 1, 2016 12:57 am

especially when someone has worked to overcome their addiction, they need to feel accepted. they are embarrassed and ashamed, they have worked hard to change and now they need that extra support, to be respected and they indeed are to be admired for getting the help and working hard at overcoming their addiction. They are new people and are even better than before so soothe their pain with friendship and warmth. Ahavas Yisroel is the basis of our Torah

Thank you!
December 1, 2016 12:18 am

Thank you for opening up this conversation! Thank you for giving those with addiction a voice. I cannot understand how and why, there are people that shame those suffering. We need to stick together and bring togetherness within our community and help those in pain stop suffering. We can’t shame them, we can’t make them feel that they cannot reach out for help. We need to be here for them and show them a way of life with smiles and laughter. That is what the rebbe would have done and that’s what us as chassidim can continue to do.

So touching
December 1, 2016 12:09 am

Rabbi Feiglin, you are amazing – this is such a beautiful letter. And you are so right – a good word, a smile, recognition and warmth can save a person’s life. Make another person feel important and wanted – one never knows what it can accomplish. Hatzlocho in all your work!

mum
December 1, 2016 12:05 am

rehab . but before rehab we need to see that we dont give drinks to our children when they are young .like when a boy is going to have a bar mitzvah in school they should not be giving lchaim to the class even if it is watered down or at the shabbat table or at farbis… teachers dont say you only give a bit fahters dont say you only give a bit .

Very important to educate our teens that we are not invincibale.
November 30, 2016 11:42 pm

Thank you for this article and for sharing it with out community.

contact
November 30, 2016 11:34 pm

how do I contact Rabbi Feiglin?

Next years keynote speaker at the kinus
November 30, 2016 11:20 pm

Phenomenal work by rabbi feiglin

Mother
November 30, 2016 11:16 pm

Thank you Aliya for being there for our children. My son was involved in all types of unhealthy behaviors before he started coming to Aliya many years back.
He is now BH happily married with 2 children, has a frum home and giving us more nachas than I could have ever imagined.
I don’t have enough words to fully describe my gratitude for all you did for my son.

Thank You and I hope the community supports you. I give to http://www.aliyainstitute.com/donate anytime I have tzedakah to give

Frum Therapist/Parent
November 30, 2016 11:15 pm

G-d bless you Rabbi Feiglin for helping to destigmatize the “taboo” topic of addictions, which are a vicious scourge affecting society in general as well as those in our communities. It is time to put aside the denial that these things don’t happen to young people in Crown Heights. We live in an extremely “at-risk” time and need considerable resources to counter the epidemic. Thank you for caring, sharing and being available at any time of day or night to mobilize life support!!

Rabbi your amazing
November 30, 2016 11:13 pm

Your work is so important and amazing. Thank you for this important article. Please list as many resources as possible as it time for people to start using them and get our ‘heads out of the sand’ and into helping our own asap!

Thank you for sharing!
November 30, 2016 11:04 pm

Wondering if Aliya has a program to match participants with mentors. I mean each participant could be matched up with a different mentor/friend for moral support, friendship etc. This is besides the leadership/mentoring role you and the other leaders so selflessly take

Wow!
November 30, 2016 10:38 pm

So well said and so important for us to hear.
We are truly fortunate to have a special chabad house like aliya and “aliya girls” in our community that really “get it”.
Thank you Rabbi Feiglin for your powerful words!

Thank You
November 30, 2016 10:32 pm

R Moshe. Thank you for bringing to the fore a topic that has been kept under wraps for too long in the hope it will disappear. The substance abuse is a very serious issue that we must keep our eyes and ears open too and not be afraid to go and get help Sadly it has become rampaging OUR community too.
This is a Policy Nefesh matter. Deal with it in a mature adult manner and BEH more tragedies and lives of our children and families will be saved.

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