Rabbi Manis Changed My Life

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When Rabbi Zalman Friedman asked me to write a testimonial about the work of It’s Good To Know and Rabbi Manis Friedman, I hesitated. What they have contributed to my life is simply far too personal and serious to advertise and report.

But on the other hand, for that very reason, I decided to write, albeit anonymously. The benefits of their work is so deeply real and critical that I feel obligated to say something, in the hope that at least one more person will gain because of my recommendation.

Beneath all the issues and challenges in life, most people would agree, the strength of one’s identity is the foundation that holds it all together – hopefully. And that, my friends, is what Rabbi Friedman allowed me to address: my identity as a man- first as a Bochur and then a husband – and as a Lubavitcher and someone who calls himself a Chossid of the Rebbe.

These ideas of identity seemed petty, silly, and irrelevant when I was young. I lived life like a bulldozer, charging ahead without thought. I operated with passion, feeling, pride and joy. But in my late teens, some serious family crisis stopped my headlong charge into life. With my youthful utopia now over, I struggled mightily with a life that had auto-pilot suddenly shut off. I found myself in a situation where everything I had learned in Yeshiva and at home now needed to become real, or I was in big trouble. Everything I knew about perseverance, carrying on, climbing out of depths, overcoming tests, mind over emotions – basically my entire education! – seemed impossible and sadly theoretical. My problems and the pain they were causing me appeared insurmountable.

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Then I met Rabbi Friedman and thank G-d I did. Rabbi Friedman listened carefully, like no one I have ever seen, and when I was done, he thought about it. I don’t know how to describe this and I might sound foolish trying, but the silence when I was done talking and he sat there thinking was the first thing I learned from him: how to think deliberately and how to think something through.

When he finally spoke and we began conversing, I found myself enjoying the talk so immensely that at that time I could really not have cared less if he had not found solutions to my problems. I was simply enjoying the talk! It was so deep and yet not fancy-talk, not presumptuous or overly complex. It was logical, and meaningful, and so – wait for it – Chassidish! Chabad ideas were being translated into simple English and into doable plans to ease my misery. (And on top of it all, he was so funny!)

I can’t divulge what we spoke or the terrible problems we started resolving, but I can tell you, it saved my life – if not literally, then certainly the quality of it.

The Chabad “tools” Rabbi Friedman taught me to use during that and several subsequent meetings have been incredibly useful in my life. If I may say so myself, I dated maturely, without hysterics. I married thoughtfully, with intention and not just excitement, even Chassidishe excitement. My marriage is stable and not a wild roller coaster ride like it would have been if I had still been operating on a system of emotional inspiration and good and bad moods. I treat my children with what I feel (and hope!) is directed and intelligent devotion, not frantic adoration (though I am desperately in love with them :).

I can’t speak about the hundreds of other people like me that I assume exist and everyone Rabbi Friedman has helped – rescued, really. But I can speak for myself. It’s Good to Know is gem for our community, a precious resource that will help the flame of chassidus warm the real lives of actual people into the next generation, into the days of moshiach.

T.C.

Please support the work of Its Good to Know with Rabbi Manis Friedman by purchasing a raffle ticket for a chance to win $100,000.
Click here: https://www.itsgoodtoknow.org/raffle/