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Tuesday, 25 Adar I, 5784
  |  March 5, 2024

4 Words By My Great-Uncle Chaim

4 words uttered by a shy great-uncle has taught Rabbi Manis Friedman a powerful lesson about honoring your parents. Full Story

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M Roumani
January 27, 2016 7:06 am

Children do as they see not as they r told…last year an unexpected package came to my door on Mother’s Day all the way from my daughter studying in Israel, when I astonishly asked her what motivated her she simply responded that she remembered me ordering and sending flowers for “Bubby” last year on Mother’s Day!

Yes Yes
January 26, 2016 8:05 pm

Well said Manis!!!

Tell this story to my kids!
January 26, 2016 7:42 pm

Powerful lesson!!

amazing
January 26, 2016 3:27 pm

I always remembered this..

Wives are queens
January 26, 2016 1:48 pm

Wives are queens not only for the children but also for Their husbands
Don’t ask your wife for anything that you can do yourself

Husbands
January 26, 2016 9:35 am

should also remember that their wives are not their slaves either!!! wives need to be respected too!!

Dear 13
January 26, 2016 2:47 am

Yeh. The Talmud and Kitzur were written by adult, elders, and parents.

is that the famous...
January 25, 2016 11:08 pm

Bubbeh bubbeh babenyu?

Nice story
January 25, 2016 10:22 pm

Heard R’ F tell this about 15 years ago. I too remember it very clearly and it has surfaced in my mind very often. BUT it doesn’t just work that way! Wish it did!

Dear Opinion
January 25, 2016 8:38 pm

The Torah compares the honour you owe your father and mother to the honour you have to give to the Almighty.
— Talmud Kiddushin 31

Because honouring parents is part of honouring G-d, the mitzvah does not depend on the worthiness of the parent:

“Even if his father is wicked and a sinner, he must fear and revere him … A convert to Judaism must not curse or despise his non-Jewish father.” (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:13,25)

Although there are no guarantees
January 25, 2016 8:22 pm

It is vital that your children see you honoring their Bubby and Zeide ( if you are lucky enough to have them ) As in all areas of life, you don’t stand much of a chance of the getting the honor you desire if your kids haven’t seen you going out of your way to be respectful, attentive and giving to your own parents whether they live around the corner or around the world. By the way, your children are also noticing whether you treat EVERYONE with respect – including your spouse.

Late bloomer
January 25, 2016 7:01 pm

Ok vey is Mir!!!
How can we fix it now??? A little late or actually a lot late on this. Kids ranging from 14- 27 yrs. of age.

Opinion
January 25, 2016 6:30 pm

Yeh. There’s strong push for respect for elders and especially parents, and there’s much said – usually by elders and parents – about the many ways respect should manifest itself. And I can accept the presumption that Feter Chaim and Rabbi Mannis and his mother are lovely people. But it’s still all human perspective and subject to variables. The extreme view that elder/parent must be treated as royalty is just that – extreme. And elders/parents need to respect young people and their children, and not treat them like extension of themselves, clay to be shaped as they wish, and built… Read more »

Sounds familiar
January 25, 2016 4:10 pm

Strange, I went through a similar situation as a young teenage growing up in the Flatbush section of Brooklyn. I was at the family table having dinner. My mother was at the sink…I don’t recall why. I asked her for a glass of water, and my father fumed. “get it yourself. Your mother is not your servant_….I was stunned, but accepted his statement. I never forgot it either! How was I to know that something so simple was not exemplary of Kibod av v’eim??

wow
January 25, 2016 4:07 pm

love this

Excellent
January 25, 2016 3:43 pm

Rabbi Manis Friedman for president! So well delivered

wow!
January 25, 2016 3:39 pm

thanks so much for sharing this precious experience and amazing uncle with us. we desperately needed to hear (read) your wise words. please keep teaching and inspiring us in good health with much joy so we can greet moshiach already!

Crownheightser
January 25, 2016 3:36 pm

Rabbi Friedman –
I remember hearing this from you maybe thirty years ago & did not forget it. I often tell the story to my ainiklach.
Thank you for sharing it again.

Bubby Friedman
January 25, 2016 3:22 pm

Is one of the most regal, beautiful, brilliant women this generation has the zchus of knowing. May she live many more happy and healthy years filled with nachas and Mazal.

Best illustration
January 25, 2016 3:16 pm

I heard Rabbi Friedman tell this story decades ago, when I was in Minnesotta, in Bais Chana. The story, and its meaning was also seared in my mind, and heart.
I never forgot this story, and love the lesson it tells

so true
January 25, 2016 3:12 pm

Thank you for sharing

Wow!
January 25, 2016 2:56 pm

Beautiful story and point well taken.

I would like to mention though that it is so much easier to respect parents that respect their children. In a case of abusive parents it can be difficult and even tricky to show such reverence.

Raise your children with the respect they deserve and they will be receptive to this idea of the reverence they ought to treat their parents with.

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