ב"ה
Tuesday, 2 Adar II, 5784
  |  March 12, 2024

Our Son’s Stressful Bar Mitzvah

Timeless Advice from the Rebbe: To the parents dealing with overwhelming preparations for their son's Bar Mitzvah. Video

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To #3
December 15, 2016 6:25 am

The rebbe says here in regards to laining: “unless this is the minhag”. In many orthodox communities it is the minhag and the fact itself that the rebbe mentions the minhag shows that it has nothing to do with reforms etc. as you write.
The rebbe indeed discourage the minhag within the lubavitcher community but from here to call those who minhag avoyseihem bideihem reforms it’s a big mistake, and as a matter of fact many shluchim have to adopt the minhag due to their mekuravim etc.
Kol hamossif Gorea..

"stress and pressure" not the main point
August 16, 2015 8:24 am

#9 should watch again and read what the REBBE says about this issue so that HE will not “miss the point”! stress and pressure is mentioned by the rebbe (not even in the video clip but in one of his letters on this matter) as an ADDITIONAL reason to the point the rebbe keeps on emphasizing, that the bar mitzvah must prepare himself only in a pnimiusdiker way not with chitzoniudiker matters. the rebbe says clearly in the clip :”der iker iz…”, regardless weather it is a pressure or stressful for the bar mitzvah or not.even if the bar mitzvah… Read more »

:-)
August 16, 2015 3:03 am

To #10 – I very much agree

Maamer
August 16, 2015 12:37 am

The Rebbe seems to clearly advocate that the knowing the maamer by heart is not so important as learning it and chazering it inside and understanding it. Unfortunately the prevalent (yet ignorant) custom is to put a lot of pressure to learning it by heart and neglecting whether or not the bar mitzvah boy actually understands what he’s saying. In other words, it’s better for a BM boy to read the maamer inside and understand it that to chazer it by heart without understanding it. Hopefully this video can impress on the mashpiim and 7th grade teachers to influence a… Read more »

MISSING THE POINT
August 15, 2015 10:33 pm

How can one heap so much stress and pressure on a bar mitzvah bochur is beyond me.

Larry
August 14, 2015 12:11 pm

I always used to ask myself that question why the schools don’t teach the boys the year before all the customs and laws in preparation for the upcoming event so they should appreciate and understand The next big step in life that they are going into. It was very nice to hear what the rebbe had to say on the subject. And I believe the same in the schools it’s not the quantity it’s the quality of how much the kids are taking home with them

Does anyone know
August 14, 2015 11:04 am

who this couple is?

Yirmi Cohen/Toronto
August 14, 2015 10:39 am

Wow. In this video with the Rebbe, this is our very own Dr. Chaim & Chavi Goldberg of Toronto.
Chaim & Chavi, keep up your great work of Hafatza in Toronto! Much Nachas from the “Bar Mitzva boy” & all your kids!

NO NEW NEWS
August 14, 2015 10:18 am

This is nothing special but exactly as the Rebbe stated to others and has been recorded in all the BM books.

Beautiful
August 14, 2015 8:34 am

Focusing on what’s important. This Applies to everything

Rebbes opinion:Bar mitzvah bochur NOT to "waist time" on "LAINING"!
August 14, 2015 5:41 am

The Rebbe has written many times and asked to publicize his opinion (see all of this in the sefer “Ben yud gimel l’mitzvos”) not to waist time on external matters such as being a “shatz” (as the the Rebbe calls it) for the krias hatorah,as a hachona for the bar mitzvah.The Rebbe also adds that by doing so, parents are causing the bochur to go through unnecessary stress! Horav yehuda keller z”l was asked by the Rebbe in his bar mitzvah yechidus, what he prepared for his bar mitzvah? when he ansewred that along with a pilpul, mamar and the… Read more »

MRS PERL ARBOR
August 14, 2015 5:33 am

This is the problem with parents today. Unless a boy or girl have the capacity to cope with it, they pressure their children to undertake way beyond what is required and within their capability, simply to impress the friends and family at the simcha, at the expense of their son’s simcha. Which many of these fathers themselves probably never did or would undertake. It will either make them or break them. It all boils down to ignorance. The maamer alone is a major achievement!

Wowww
August 13, 2015 11:17 pm

BH. !! This is incredible!! Don’t try to impress showing up all what you learn
Learn what you need to make your connection with the Aibeshter

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