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Aug 13, 2015
Our Son's Stressful Bar Mitzvah
Timeless Advice from the Rebbe: To the parents dealing with overwhelming preparations for their son's Bar Mitzvah. For more videos, visit Facebook.com/JEMDailyVideo. Or add +1718 744 6000 to your phone’s contacts and send a WhatsApp message with the word "subscribe."
Watch the Rebbe's response to parents how to handle the overwhelming preparations for their son's upcoming Bar Mitzvah.20 Adar II 5749 - 1989 Posted by Daily Video of the Rebbe on Tuesday, August 4, 2015
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Learn what you need to make your connection with the Aibeshter
Horav yehuda keller z"l was asked by the Rebbe in his bar mitzvah yechidus, what he prepared for his bar mitzvah?
when he ansewred that along with a pilpul, mamar and the the halachos, he also prepared the "krias hatorah",the Rebbe commented to the young bochur: "GEPATERT DI TZEIT!" (or: "A SHUD DI TZEIT!").
It is very unfortunate that lately in many lubavitcher shuls this "show"/"custom" (that is widespread amongst the conservative and reform, rachamona litzlon from anything they represent) has started to creep in.
Everything has its time. Becoming a "SHATS" for krias hatorah should be in a later stage in life not in advance to the bar mitzvah.It always pays to listen to the Rebbe.
It never pays not to listen to the Rebbe (though one can find a million excuses) especially when the wellbeing of our children is involved.
The Rebbe once sent a message in the 'seventees' through Horav berel levy z"l to (my father's z"l cousin) Horav Moshe Aharon Geisinsky z"l (of nachalas har chabad) when he was in communist Russia and desperately wanted to leave to Eretz Yisroel as he was getting old but the Rebbe did not agree,as he was needed to assist in all Jewish matters in his community:"ZOG EM (AZ) ES IZ KAINMOL NIT GEVEN AINER VOS ZOL HOBEN MIR (GEHAT) GEFOLGT UN ZOL (SHPRTER) CHAROTAH HOBEN!"
Translation:"Tell him: There was never anyone that listened to me and (later) regret it!".(He of course listened).
(May i respectfully add: i am a shatz (baal kriah) l'arichus yomim v"shonim tovim,so was my father z"l, going back
for generations,so is my son sheyichye, for all generations to follow b'ezras hashem and we began that
practice at a later stage in life,not before bar mitzvah.
It was also done gradually,such as starting with the very small krios of monday and thursday etc.).
Sholom Dovid Geisinsky
Chaim & Chavi, keep up your great work of Hafatza in Toronto! Much Nachas from the "Bar Mitzva boy" & all your kids!
In other words, it's better for a BM boy to read the maamer inside and understand it that to chazer it by heart without understanding it. Hopefully this video can impress on the mashpiim and 7th grade teachers to influence a change in this regard, to take iff the pressure of learning the maamer by heart yet introducing bar mitzvah boys to learning chassidus.
stress and pressure is mentioned by the rebbe (not even in the video clip but in one of his letters on this matter) as an ADDITIONAL reason to the point the rebbe keeps on emphasizing, that the bar mitzvah must prepare himself only in a pnimiusdiker way not with chitzoniudiker matters.
the rebbe says clearly in the clip :"der iker iz...", regardless weather it is a pressure or stressful for the bar mitzvah or not.even if the bar mitzvah himself is pushing to do it,the rebbe is telling HIM (the bar mitzvah) not to do so.
The rebbe indeed discourage the minhag within the lubavitcher community but from here to call those who minhag avoyseihem bideihem reforms it's a big mistake, and as a matter of fact many shluchim have to adopt the minhag due to their mekuravim etc.
Kol hamossif Gorea..