By Brocha Chana Metzger
Let us forever remember Susan “Roizy” Gador, of blessed memory. Her only child was murdered at the Auschwitz death camps and so it is up to us -her brethren- to ensure that she is never forgotten.
We lost Susan only 2 months ago. Yet, as she often remarked, a big part of her had died many years earlier in the Holocaust. We were privileged to know Susan in the winter of her 95 year life.
Some 15 years ago, a tiny, elegantly dressed woman showed up one Shabbat at Chabad of Midtown. Upon being welcomed, she shared her name and that she lived nearby, in Manhattan. There was an air of seriousness about her which, along with her Eastern European accent, told us not to pry further.
The following week, Susan appeared again. As well as the next week and the one after that. She would respectfully don a little lace doily cap to attend services. Susan soon became a regular and gradually the layers peeled back to reveal the sad yet triumphant Story of Susan.
There was a wistfulness about Susan as she observed our toddler daughter Sarah Perel being fawned over by congregants. Then one day, mid-week, Susan arrived at Chabad to show my husband a photograph of a sweet baby girl. Our chubby little Sarah Perel reminded her of her cute 2-year-old daughter who had tragically been murdered by the Nazis.
When they had arrived at Auschwitz, Susan was told to go one way, while her mother-in-law, holding the baby, was sent in the other direction. She would never see them again. They perished in the Shoah along with her parents, her first husband, and two of her five sisters.
But it wasn’t all sadness.
Susan, or Roiza bas Shaindel and Isaac Mendel Weiss, soon regaled us with stories about growing up in the court of the Munkatcher Rebbe, the joyous Yom Tov celebrations of her youth, the strong sense of belonging, and being a cherished member of a close-knit circle. Her father had served as the Rosh Kehillah (official community leader) so little Roizy was privy to the inner workings of the Rabbinic dynasty and the Rebbe’s family.
Some Shabbatot, we hosted visitors who were also raised in the Munkatcher Chassidic community. Upon introducing Susan, most would recall her esteemed father or at the very least they had heard his name. She always brightened upon meeting her fellow landsman.
Throughout her eighties and until well into her nineties, Susan would make the ten-block trek to Chabad most Shabbatot. Sometimes, she would show up during the week as well, to mark a yartzeit or to bring us gifts – perfumes for me, dolls for Sarah Perel, and later, trinkets for the other kids.
Susan had a husband who never attended shul. He was pretty much home-bound due to a stroke, but as his wife explained – he would not have been found at a synagogue even when he was in good health. Thankfully, though, Stephen was still fully lucid with all his mental faculties. While we did not meet him until many years after his wife’s entry into our lives – when I would call for her he would always answer the phone in a firm, friendly voice.
Susan was in her early forties when she stopped in New York – en route from living with one sister in Australia. She was headed to live with her other sister in Israel but she never made it to her intended destination. Whilst in New York she met a nice Jewish fellow – a brilliant intellectual. Stephen Gador was an avowed agnostic but he was respectful of Susan’s beliefs and soon proposed to her. Susan liked him very much, and after much thought agreed to marry him “if only to save his neshama.”
After many years living a quiet existence, away from an organized Jewish community, Susan decided it was time to return to synagogue. Her own neshama, she decided, would soon return to it’s maker and she did not want to have to answer the question: “Where have you been?”. Directed to our shul by a distant relative, Susan quickly became part of the Chabad of Midtown family.
Local congregants David, Isaac, Lena, Lily, Philip, Mike, Nancy, Marsha, and others befriended her. She was beloved by our community despite her often harsh reprimands toward those who spoke during services or behaved disrespectfully in shul. When a loud “SHA!” would emanate from this tiny woman no one dared utter another word.
She had old fashioned values and was bewildered by the casual behavior and attire of the younger generation. Still she was beloved by us all. She inspired us, as well as many shul visitors, to be better people. If someone who had experienced so much pain could still be on talking terms with G-d… we certainly could be.
While Stephen never did come around to embracing religion, he and Susan were utterly devoted to one another. He was a kind man, and his existence gave his wife a reason to live. When, after fifty years of marriage, Stephen passed away, Susan was utterly bereft. “Why,” she cried “should I go on living?”
Susan soon spiraled into a depression. “I should have died, not my daughter. She was just a baby… Why did I live and she did not?”, she asked.
We consoled her as best we could. We assured her that Hashem had kept her alive for a reason. We told her WE needed her. When our Sarah Perel wrote an essay about Susan for a school assignment related to “Heroes in our Lives” – she was greatly moved.
While Susan had some distant relatives stateside, her closest family members resided in Israel. She had remained in America for Stephen, but grief-stricken after his passing two years ago, Susan was finally convinced that she would benefit from a move to Israel. And so, for the last year of her life Susan resided in the Holy Land, cosseted by her nieces and their children. Just weeks before her passing, we spoke to Susan over the telephone. We were amazed to find her as sharp as ever. When I expressed surprise that at age ninety-four she still remembered us – she protested “I could never forget you.”
When Susan’s niece notified us of her passing, my husband immediately contacted my mother – Nechama Heber – who just happened to be visiting Israel at the time. My mother knew and loved Susan. Late at night, after a wedding, she took a taxi to Har Hamenuchot where Roiza was laid to rest. We were heartened that a member of our family was in attendance.
Sarah Perel, now already a young lady, wept at the news of our dear friend’s passing. “As long as I can remember,” she cried, “Susan has been part of my life.” And Susan’s memory will continue to burn brightly for my family.
Essentially, WE all are Susan’s family. It is our duty, our honor, to ensure that Susan is always remembered. My sentiments echo Susan’s own words, “I could never forget you.”
My name is Nicki Holt. My father and mother were long term friends of Stephen Gador and then in turn Susan. Stephen and Susan would visit us in London. For many many years, every Christmas they would send me a pocket calendar from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and we stayed in touch that way after my parents died. I had been trying got find out what happened to Stephen and Susan as I had not heard anything for some time either by email, phone or post. I’m grateful but of course sad to know what happened to them and… Read more »
I am Peter Jagers, Stephen Gador’s Swedish cousin. Thank you for this beautiful obituary, which also told me that Stephen and Susan passed away. I only knew that there were no longer any responses on my emails.
beautiful to read.
She was beautiful
Such a magnificent tribute to a true woman of valor!!! May this testimonial be an aliyah for her beautiful neshama!!!
May we all be zocheh to see her once again with the coming of moshiach speedily in our days Amen!!!!
Thank You, Hashem should help that you should have much continued success at Chabad of Midtown
Shaindy
As a granddaughter of a holocaust survivor I feel very moved .Reading this I feel like I lost a ‘bobby’ although I never actually knew her .
In her honor I will take on something spiritually as a ‘ granddaughter ‘ does !
Thank u for this article.
Thank you very much for sharing a small portion of the life of Roizy Susan. You made me very proud to have the same English name as her!
A beautiful tribute to an amazing lady!
Dear Rebetzin Metzger, thank you so much for this moving piece about our dear and beloved cousin Roizi z”l. We did hear that your mother attended the funeral and were happy that someone from her beloved Chabad of Midtown family was in attendance. Yasher Koach! VSR
as a child of survivors i can never hear enough about the wonderful stories of the life before ww II and although the horror and sadness the holocaust brought upon our nation we did survive
may hashem soon gather us from every corner of the earth and bring moshiach
such a fine uplifting warmly felt and true tribute.Thank-you so much.I will share it with the rest of the family in Israel.Rayzie’s last two years in Israel were happy,surrounded by family who loved her and whom she loved,She spoke of you in Manhattan and loved you .
best wishes . Gabriella Lev
we shall all meet again with susan with moshiach now!
What a magnificent tribute – fitting for the Jewish heroine Susan was.
May her memory be for an eternal blessing, and may Chabad of Midtown ascend from strength to strength!
What a beautiful poignant story & appropriately sent to me on Yom Hashoa. She loved the Rabbi, Rebbitzen & Mispallelim
who treated her with Love & respect. I will share with my family. Yasher Koach
Chavi Diamond
May she be a good beiter for klall yisrael!!!!
We need Moshiach now!!!
May her memory and life values live on forever