By Rivkah
Over the past few weeks I feel like I am living in a “tale of two cities” here in the Crown Heights neighborhood and it’s ripping my heart.
Recently, our community has been served the terrible blow of two wonderful young parents leaving their families and this world much too early.
One family has been showered with unbelievable support, while the other one has been left without any financial and, much more importantly, emotional support.
I know there are all sorts of intentions, some may even be good intentions. However, look at the results: 6 beautiful children are being ostracized from our community together with their father at the time when their hearts have been ripped out.
My mind wants to explode. Who is helping them with cleaning, cooking, homework, Pesach preparation, food shopping, clothing shopping and a loving listening ear?
Instead, there’s this effort to hold a march in the streets. Whoever wronged another should be dealt with by the Rabbanim or in court in a private manner. Why do the children have to suffer from such public bashing?!
Right now there are six crying children that need our help. Please offer a meal, sponsor a cleaning lady, take the girls shopping for bows and tights, encourage your children to befriend them (and not make comments to them at school).
If you care about the mother, take care of her children. As a community let’s give young orphans the amazing support and love we are so clearly capable of providing.
– A fellow community member
Click here to help the Kuperman family:
Click here to donate
איך זה הגיוני שחצי מהאנשים פה לא מאמינים בזה. הרי מערכת יחסים לא עובדת עם אין אהבה,למה משהי צריכה לשבת בבית בוכה כל היום בגלל שלא טוב לה בחיים. נמעס כבר שזה קורה פשווט אי צדק.בן אדם לא מריך להיות עצוב במערכת יחסים וזאת הוכחה שהיא לא עובדת.אז זה פוגע בילדים שמענו… תאמינו לי שהילדים היו הרבה יותר שמחים אם לא יראו את אמא שלהם בוכה עצובה ודכאונית. סוף סוף משהו תפס קצת שכל והתחיל לעשות שינוי והפסיק לחשוב על מה שאנשים חושבים עליו והתחיל לעשות משהו טוב לאנושות כולה כולל חיי היהודים וחיי החבדניקים
I think the word Agunah has been so watered down that it lost its meaning. I think today every woman who asks for a get and does not receive it that same day thinks she is an agunah. This is not the halachic case of agunah. A get is not finalized in one day just as a legal divorce is not finalized in one day. There is a process to everything. Someone who is refused a get or someone who the husband went missing is a real agunah. This is not the same as someone who is in the divorce… Read more »
It wasn’t that cold, and their spirit kept them warm
They didn’t have to be in the cold. Could’ve been indoors.
This march has been a long time coming. This march is a necessary thing to bring awareness in Crown Heights for evils going on right under everyone’s noses. How can you say that this march will hurt the children when this march goes right along with their mother’s dying wishes???? How can you say that marching does not heal? How can you say that this is a contradiction to helping the 6 children? How can you say that the marchers and supporters are not helping the orphans? Everyone can help in different ways. Some can help by giving money, some… Read more »
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. TOTALLY AGREE!
please dont mix the two tragedies. the support for one family is because he was part of a loving community, because he was a freind and loved one to many..
stop trying to mix/compare situations- that in itself is very wrong to do.
Crown heights get your act together like this community and make communities within yourself of support love and friendship. in one case there is a lot to do that can be done to help and in the other not so much…
Wow!!! Amazing to see so much support
Will You March With Me????
🚸🚸🚸🚸🚸🚸
Support agunah rights!!!! 🙈🙉🙊
You don’t need validation from those who hate. Stand up for what is right and don’t worry.
Some comments make it sound like the March and ANY SUCH EFFORT is invalid because it would hurt the kids. Without this negative attention, maybe it wouldn’t be as terrible ?????
To number #179 SHAME ON YOU!!! You are accusing women of not taking care of their children because they’re agunos? Shows how little you know. These are righteous women who are caring for their children singlehandedly and supporting thm financially and emotionally for years while the father does nothing. They should accept the will of hashem to remain single???? Is that how you justify every injustice in your life? And accusing them of bringing home partner after partner is beyond despicable—if they didn’t care about Torah and Halacha they wouldn’t be agunos!! They’d just say bye bye to yiddishkeit and… Read more »
I sense that someone in the last few comments is trying to “pick” on a fellow reader with the intention of making them FEEL BAD that they are participating. Rule Number One: Always be loving and KIND. If you disagree with the March, fine. But don’t hurt anyone else.
Good Luck with your school, work and life in general.
However, because you lack a home surrounded by loving family members, doesn’t mean you need to participate in an event meant to rip apart these orphans from the loving father that they love in return. A love which I have seen with my own eyes! Support actual agunos, let others live with the dignity they more than deserve!
Don’t destroy the lives of 6 yesomim, and turn them into r”l double yesomim, with a living father who they cannot see.
Don’t trample the plight of all other true Agunos by using this situation as an example of an Aguna….
I would completely support a March, Walk, Run, Skip, Hop or Jump for any other (living) Aguna case.
Y does a 20 year old belong in school? I moved away from home to escape my father. I work in order to pay rent. Im living in someone else’s LIVING ROOM right now because that is what i can afford. my mother helps me financially when she can. Not once, in over a year and a half, has my dad offered to help, or even ASK how its going. Id love to go back home surrounded by loving family members, but its not an option thanx to my father. And who says im not also in school?!? I graduated… Read more »
Nuuuu!!!! And to the kvetchers… What have you done in response, other than complain that some other person has a good idea that YOU DIDNT THINK OF FIRST!!!!
Of course that’s how I feel too sometimes!!!! 😆😖😆😖😆😖
You answered yourself you are omly 20 you belong in school not organizing a march and we all know who you are since you can’t stop posting on fbook all the signs you made
To all the people against the woman organizing the march:
She is not the only one organizing it, shes just the one named.
So what about me? Im 20, MALE, lubavitch, frum, etc. and im very active in helping organizing this march.
Im also going to be SPEAKING at the march.
Forgot to mention im also a child of a 12 year Agunah
To all the people against the woman organizing the march:
She is not the only one organizing it, shes just the one named.
So what about me? Im 20, MALE, lubavitch, frum, etc. and im very active in helping organizing this march.
Im also going to be SPEAKING at the march.
You have been brain washed into thinking that yours and your mother’s plight is more severe than what others experience. The only reason your family suffers is because your mother will not accept that if Hashem has a Beshert waiting for your mother then Hashem will make sure your mother is available. If instead, your mother will concentrate on bringing up her children, then she would not be so busy suffering. And you would not have been brain washed into thinking you are a victim. Time to count your blessings. And stop feeling sorry for yourself. All those years would… Read more »
Does anyone remember Mrs. Musia.
She really was an Agunah.
She was a G-d fearing woman who loved her students at the Yeshiva where she made them lunch.
I don’t think she would approve of a march on behalf of Agunahs.
If #149 is really the child of a father who does not give a GETT – then he/she has totally been brainwashed by the Agunah Activists.
It is time for him/her to stop the self-pity and realize that other people do not have fairy tale parents who do no wrong.
Life has it’s challenges.
You call yourself a child. But the GETT has been withheld for 11 years. And you speak of other siblings. It seems to me you have are in your teens or nearing 20, or more. When are you going to start growing up?
I heard tere will be food. Question: is it under CHK or OK????
The children will go to camp etc the same way they always did. IF the grandparents were helping out, why wouldn’t they continue to help? To everyone who says this is an Aguna issue – it’s not. It’s about humiliation & vengence against one man. How about marching to the homes of the fathers of the posters who say their mothers are Agunot? THEN you would have credibility. Instead, you want to destroy the only parent these children have. Great job. How about mending fences between the parties and focusing on the true plight of Agunot. This march is a… Read more »
This has nothing to do with agunos and is purely pure sinas chinum!! and in addition the one running the agunos March is a woman who herself goes to church this is who is fighting for agunos? A self proclaimed rebel against yiddishliet? She should not be allowed to step foot in this Shchuna! Much less lead a disgusting hateful March which really is not for the purpose she is claiming
If there’s one thing you can do for these kids, and ALL kids, it’s not to discuss their family issues with others, especially if you haven’t personally verified the truth. Do not believe all the personal information being passed on no matter how ‘sympathetically’ it was given over if you don’t personally know it to be true. In fact, it’s not necessary to talk at all unless it is to be of practical help, and even then the less extra talk the better. People have lo-o-ong memories especially about irresponsible gossip. Make the decision not to be a part of… Read more »
someone should publish a list of all organizers and participants of this event and post them on the WALL of SHAME. let other people know to fall in their traps and to double check when it comes to marriages.
This march has nothing to do with Agounos their motivation stinks!!!
It is devastating to see so many come out against a peaceful march supporting women and families that are in a unfair and unjust predicament . How does one explain the demeaning comments of those that oppose it . If this caused rifts in homes or between friends and family it shows how vital this cause is. What so many seem to be forgetting as they mention the ” family ” and why it is a mistake to involve them . Their dying mother pleaded for her freedom and in her merit so many finally have the courage to come… Read more »
נס שעתה זה חרף
כך הם היו באים חצי
בצניעות כמו שבאו למקומות אחרים
זו היא קבוצה שמערערת יסודות היהדות בשם כאב של אחרים
שומר נפשו ירחק מהן
ARE ALL THE HALACHIC TZNIUS GUIDLINES BEING FOLLOWED.ARE THEY MARCHING TOFETHER?
1- how is a march going to help an aguna?
2- I bet those matching will not be agunos at all but a bunch of frei’akes that want to ‘rock the boat’ or as they say revolution against the jewish way if life.
3- follow the money do a little research who is the one behind it, it probably some ties to the George soros jstreet etc,,
The organizers of tomorrow march need to realize that they are alienating many people that agree with the march and want to march, but wont be due its link to a specific family. If the organizers come out with a statement ” “Unchaning The March ” from the family they would have a much greater turn out. How sad would it be for this most important cause which has finally gained traction to limit it self by chaining it self to the family.
Why isn’t there a wall of shame for get withholders? Give them a thirty day notice, after which a get refuser will be added. No more shoving this stuff under the carpet. We must stand with the victims not the abusers.
Not a politicised March to the Besht!
There is no Aguna case there.
As a fellow child of an agunah (see comment 60) im very curious about your (i hate the term) stories. Perhaps all children of agunahs can “gett” together (fb group) to help support each other, vent, or give a KNOWING ear to each other… u can email me at [email protected] (u can write Agunah Child as subject) if ud like….
Firstly, as an outsider from out of town who had ABSOLUTELY no clue of anything, this was a nice juicy piece of loshon harah. Never seen anything like it. I had no clue there was an agunah, I had no clue that there was any sort of march taking place!!! I am HORRIFIED that it is taking place by 770. What a disgrace. Why cant it start from the JCM? whatever, that’s besides the point. What is this march accomplishing exactly? A beautiful chilul Lubavitch? Check. As a distant friend of one of the orphans, I am horrified at the… Read more »
You have my support
Thank ColLive for the wonderful work you do in keeping the public updated with the agunah crisis.
P.S. My auto correct thinks the agunah is a laguna???
my mother is an agunah for almost thirteen years she always tried her best not to involve us in thier fights she tried not to fight in front of us she would not say bad things about our father she belives in kibud AV i AIM (honering Father and mother) my tatty would drag us into the firght he dragged three of us to one of the hearings to try to get us to speak against our mom he worked off the books so as to avoid paying court ordered child support he constantly would speak to us in a… Read more »
A very big and truly respected Rav once commented: We look at the results ——-if it causes machlokes and division then it’s a sign that it is WRONG!! The entire campaign has totally split friendships. It has even caused machlokes in homes – in marriages, r’l. How are these people going to answer to G-d? NOBODY and I’ll say it again NOBODY knows what the real truth is. Using social media to air shmutz is never right – nothing justifies the hours wasted on this. All the yentas on facebook are not doing anything except gossiping and fighting with anyone… Read more »
I have read many of the above comments, and one thing I can agree on is as follows: It’s extremely dissapointing and unfortunate that such an important and pressing issue has to be mixed in with political agenda’s The agunah situation is HORRIFYING and DESPICABLE. However, why are you throwing into the mix personal hate which will only HUMILIATE many of those who have been embarrassed and tormented??? I 100% agree with the idea of a march, but… proceeding with such a march with hate and biased wrath will only negate the severity of the agunah situation! Crown heights community… Read more »
This is about agunos!!!! Living women in real pain!!!!
#unchainmysister
excus me?!?! Agunas is a bogus issue? Why planet do you live on? A woman doesn’t need to deserve a get, if she asks for one she gets it. It’s her right! If there are other disputes that need to be taken to a beis din then that needs to be done and if the beis din and rabbonim can’t think of a solution then the rabbonim need to be better versed in the laws and better at solving disputes. There are for sure 1 in 50 Agunas that totally dispute the whole thing and abuse their right to a… Read more »
This is what this march is all about. Very similar to Sharpton marching under the banner of no justice, no peace. And as Sharpton used to say, dont confuse me with the facts. This march has a lot of similarities rachmono litzlan. Umesaimim betoiv, moshiach now!
If this march was really about bringing justice to Agunot why don’t we see Jewish organizations like the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA) who work to help Agunot, participating in this march? Because this march isn’t about Agunot. It’s about the agenda of one woman, using this to alleviate her boredom. This isn’t about woman’s rights. It’s about one woman’s agenda to take down one man. What a sham. If she was so interested in helping Agunot, why wasn’t she marching in the streets when the get was initially refused? Why hasn’t she marched in the streets for… Read more »
I feel sorry for what you went through. Unfortunately, a very lot of divorce cases are very similar to yours, and the get process gets dragged out for a long time because of both sides being very stubborn. This hardly qualifies as an aguna case and should not be the subject of a public march. All those who think that by taking their fights to Facebook and other social media, are doing themselves and everyone else a great disservice. An aguna is determined in beis din, and not on Facebook. If you cant produce a siruv from a bonafide beis… Read more »
עתה שהמארגנות החילוניות רואות שאנש מקיאים אותן מתוכינו עלו על המצאות חדשות אלף. זה לא למען המשפחה המסוימת שעושה תמות נפשי עם פלישתים אלא הם רוצים ליקח בכח את האחריות על האבות והילדים והנשים י הפימניזם שאוכל כל חלקה טובה רוצים הם לשנות הלכות!!! לתת פירושים רפורמיים להלכה… לתת דרור לכל החפץ להרוס חיי משפחה הם יעזרו לו ולא חלילה באנשי גשר ושלום בית . הם יעזרו לו ולימדו אותה איך לחיות לבד בלי הבעל בלי הרבנים ובלי הקהילה אנו הקהילה יאמרו לנשים שעם עזרה קלה יכולות לצאת מבעיותיהן ממסדיםמהם את הצער ולא נותנים דרורמלצרה אלא דרור להלכה ומייסרין את… Read more »
Who ever said
No way Chanie would want it
Did you ever speak to her about it
I know for a fact that she would be proud
Proud for her children proud for other children
I myself speak out as a child affected by a parent who still, after 11 years, will not provide a GET. This march has my FULL support and my siblings and I salute you and thank you for finally bringing light to this issue. No more are we alone! No more, are we to be pitied and yet ostracized. This turns the tables for us. Now, we are the children who deserve what everyone else deserves. We just happen to have a parent who is doing the unthinkable, and, will finally be made accountable for his despicable actions!!! We hope… Read more »
What a shame that the march is being done this way. Chanie was not an agunah in the true sense of the word. Unfortunately, there are all too many suffering agunahs out there and something DOES need to change. But by mixing too many issues together, and using an irrelevant case as your big example, you lose so many people who would have been otherwise supportive. For everyone saying this is for the kids – clearly you have no idea what it’s like to be a kid in a situation like this. There is no way on earth this is… Read more »
This march has NOTHING to do with the kids. They should be given the proper support and love that they deserve, and hopefully, they WILL receive it from our community. After all, even in good times, “it takes a village…” how much more so in such a situation, they are innocent victims of extremely unfortunate circumstances. That being said, this march is for the husbands and wives who cannot obtain a GET from their unwilling spouses, and by default, for the innocent children who are affected as a result. The issue is much greater and farther reaching than this one… Read more »
March, march all day long. But why did u wake up now? Why u marching to the besht? Yes aggunahs are a major issue, I totally understand. Seems like this is all politics, in a family conflict. To all the organizers: u really want to help agunas, right? Shame on u. You are the ones that ABUSE THE WORD AGUNAHS! Using agunas, for your personal fight. Shocking. A Bocher P.s. I agree something must be done for agunas, but defintly not this. Please if you really care for agunas, don’t go to this rally. If you want to fight, and… Read more »
thank you. That was very well written, I immediately donated after reading. May we not see any more catastrophes like this in the future,
if you don’t like how the local rabbis act you can change your location and move to another community. this is against halacha, against Torah and against chassidus. One should throw himself into a fire and burn and not embarrass someone in public! this is for sure coming from a source of SITRA ACHRA and KELIPA. Anyone taking part in this event should be disgraced. you are promoting CHILUL HASHEM! Kol Hakavod COLLIVE for puting up such a positive and strong article!
I will be marching for the children, for chanie, and for all the other agunas who are desperately await their freedom!!!
to # 126
The same children you seem to want to protect and shield , know how to open the internet and read. In that case writing this article on a public website seems a bit hypocritical .
if this is a thinly veiled attack on a father, then it is a travesty.
the children need support on every level.
no purpose is served by trying to vilify their father.
their mother has passed away, let the children grieve and move forward.
A rally in CH will be seen at this time as centered on certain people, not addressing the agunah issue in general.
If you do march to besht tou will delegitimise this campaign.
Lets see if this is realy about Agunot or its about an internal family conflict
The march and rally should take place at a location which will cover all communities.Rabbonim and community member should be there from all orthodox groups.
Agunos are found everywhere.
Every community should generously support orphans.
These are two separate issues.
how about we start a drive by get business. drive fast or you will be considered a Get refuser while your driving in….
נס שעתה זה חרף
כך הם היו באים חצי
בצניעות כמו שבאו למקומות אחרים
זו היא קבוצה שמערערת יסודות היהדות בשם כאב של אחרים
שומר נפשו ירחק מהן
The organizers are good people but is this bringing achdus no,
Is this Chabad no, did the rebbe ask people to march outside 770 no.
Pls lets make a meeting of community leaders to discuss this imp issue.
Pls cancel this divisive march which is something we don’t need.
First of all, ofcourse the community should help these children! Ofcourse! This march is to help PREVENT and HELP EVERYBODY ELSE SUFFERING QUIETLY THAT YOU DON TKNOW ABOUT!!! WE NEED AWARNESS IN THIS COMMUNITY AND THIS MARCH WILL HELP THAT!!!
The point of the march is to raise awareness for agunahs and their children. We must support both. When a woman requests a get from her husband he must give her one. Otherwise he is entrapping her in a marriage she doesn’t want to be in. That is Abuse. Gett Abuse. An abusive spouse is likely to engage in Gett Abuse. Domestic abuse and the agunahs’ plights have gone unnoticed in our community for far too long. We should be ashamed of ourselves for letting this happen. Women, wives and mothers, in our community should feel safe and never again… Read more »
No words! Whoever wrote this is 100% right!
1.The children most definitely need our sensitivity, support and love.
2.There also needs to be awareness and sensitivity towards the plight of the victims of a with held get.
3. Abusers (in all forms) should not be allowed to hold influential leadership positions and must be held accountable for their actions.
Its a war on different fronts which we should all be joining together and addressing.
A march will accomplish nothing. It is a very low class attempt at calling attention to an issue without actually resolving it. If you want to take care of the Agana issue–Rabbi’s and lawyers should come together to enact new policy to protect women from ever coming into an Aguna situation.
My fervent hope is, that the words we have spoken will help, at least from now on, and at least in some small measure. Perhaps more peple will join in, to scream about the horrible situation. And they will do it without embarassment, and not from behind a curtain. Especially those who reside in Israel. One should bang his fists on the table if necessary, because we must remember that upon this issue rests the very security of Israel. The immediate result of such protest will be a) the cessation of surrendering more lands which are controlled by Israel, and… Read more »
This argument is not in accordance with the Code of Jewish Law. When the Torah says, “You shall not stand idly by your brother’s blood,”[31] it does not mean, that you are only required to involve yourself when you are certain that your efforts will be successful. Rather, even if there is only a slim chance — even only the slightest of chances — that you will succeed in your protest being heard, you must do this, for it is the unequivocal ruling of the Code of Jewish Law!” In his public address of 11 Shvat 5731 (1971), the Rebbe… Read more »
The march is so that children shouldn’t grow up watching their father abuse their mother. The pain of children in such a situation is what the marchers are opposing, along with the pain of the abused women. I don’t see how you can call that detrimental to the orphans, but I can see how it would work to every abuser’s advantage to say that because of the children we can have no public condemnations of get refusal. It is completely the opposite, davka for the sake of children we must stop this plague in our communities.
Together with his negation of the various arguments, the Rebbe reveals that the act of protest is effective, and “even a vocal minority benefits the entire generation.” On 13 Tammuz 5739 (1979) the Rebbe explained that there is a lesson to be learned from the episode of the spies. The lesson is that the opinion of an individual, or even a tiny minority who speaks out — even though everyone else remains silent — is taken into account. In the episode of the spies, the entire congregation, including ten of the twelve spies, complained, that in the Land of Israel… Read more »
Why should they be? How chilling! What kind of callous response is that? Because they live in this community and you are pouring loads of harsh salt on their open wounds. They lost their mother and now, the father they love is being publicly stoned. Regardless of all else, he is their father, a loving father, and their children love him. Your words, “may the children’s suffering ease” are hollow. God help us if this is all the compassion they can hope for. As if you can give them food and clothing but break their hearts again and destroy their… Read more »
The term Aguna has been abused and exploited, in recent years. I say this as a daughter of a broken marriage, who truly loves both her parents.
However, it took my parents 12 years to finalize their divorce. Why…. because my mother refused to go to Beis Din. I am not justifying my father’s actions, by any means. As he was at fault, just as much as my mother. Both my parents used me and my siblings as pawns, in their petty fights in Family Court.
NOW I will be going to the march. Whoever vilifies those who defend abused women should be ashamed of themselves.
I thought we were better than the Williamsburg people who came to defend Weberman, now I see otherwise.
I’m sorry this article was posted.
there are many different situations with children in needs. there is no connection bw the two issues. ladies going through divorce are victims and children of divorcees or deceased are victims. the ultimate wrong of this article is mixing the issues. actually, the kuperman children are the last to be concerned from this march since, unfortunately, the matter doesn’t apply to them any longer.
We need more awareness in our community about the women who are locked up in our community while we are living a normal life. Just like men who wish to get out of a marriage has the right to marry another women, so too a women should have that equal right. We need to stand up against the men that hold up a get for over 6 moths after a women receives a legal divorce. There are no excuses for holding a women chained for so long. I have a friend who lives in our Shchuna for many years, she… Read more »
Did you hear both sides of the story? Do you know the facts? Can you distinguish between the truth lies being spread about a bereaved widower, who has to raise 6 orphans on his own?
Do not participate in any protest against an individual until you have spoken to him/her yourself.
Motzi Shem Ra and Lashon Hara are forbidden by Torah law–when it doubt, don’t repeat what you have heard! And don’t post it on Facebook, either.
If you would like anyone to understand what you wrote, please use, ,,,,,, and………
Thanks
The kids are the most important issue. To those that say that they are 2 separate noble causes and we should not use one to undermine the other, my answer is you are wrong. I will be very blunt in my explanation. The aguna issue is a bogus issue. In most cases where there is no get, there is an underlying dispute, which disqualifies those women from the category of an aguna. The people behind the march have an agenda. Where were they , when it came to organize saying tehilim? Why were they only concerned with their jihad? Why… Read more »
I did’t read all the comments, so i don’t know if this was said. There are two main issues here: One is that we have six orphans that need our support, physically, financial and emotionally. That means not publicly shaming them!! By marching to the Besht and aiming your criticism at THEIR father is HEARTLESS and SENSELESS, for these poor children. They are innocent victims to their Mother’s predicament. Right now their mother doesn’t need a Get, they DO need to feel a sense of caring and support for our community. That being said, we can not forget the poor… Read more »
Why are we all fighting just days after thundering voices where so many of us pledged to increase in ahavas Yisrael? Most of us are not knowledgeable and don’t know much about being a aguna because we are not in that situation bh. But let’s ask rabbonim as to what to do about the March. Stop giving opinions without knowledge backing it up. Ask people, find out how or if it will it effect the children, find out if rabbonim are supporting or against the March. In this sitchuatuon we must be wise not ask or speak out of emotion.
I’m glad that there’s is support and outcry for these six children, but where is the support and outcry for Agunahs?
I couldn’t agree more!!!!! Thank you for saying it as it is!!!
This march and this whole organization has been founded on hatred,revenge, and intent of hurting. Unfortunately, while helping agunas is a very worthwhile and important cause, this was all about “punishing” and nothing about “helping”. If you cared one iota for the children then you would have considered the children, who have friends on Facebook and are aware of the war and hate going on.
They are victims along with their mothers! The agunah issue has many victims!
Fathers are often blocked from seeing their children by their “ex’s”, sometimes the fathers only recourse is to withhold the Get until he is given access to HIS OWN children. Maybe the ex wife’s shouldn’t be so malicious.
We must not let the wider, greater issue of agunos be preempted by the division in our community over the handling of this case. It’s too bad that those who are speaking the loudest are very far from knowing the real story. The thirst for vengeance is so great as to disregard the dignity and emotional safety of the children. It is really too bad that this will preempt the very vital issue of Jewish women who are living the hell of living as an agunah. If you care about the agunah issue, don’t mix it in with any personal… Read more »
Actually, the CH Beis Din ( btw, did we ever figure out exactly who the CH Beis Din is ? ) does not deal with gittin so there’s no point looking to them for leadership. And frankly, many of us are not sure who the ” community leaders” are. These are delicate issues, requiring a deep understanding of abuse, on all levels, and very broad shoulders. We learn in Chassidus that the seed has to completely decay before growth can occur. Perhaps that is what we are watching. I truly believe that most posters who are against exposing/solving the issue… Read more »
בו בזמן שכאן הם מבקשים רבי ואמת כביכול, באתרים שךהם הארגונים הללו לא ייראים מחלחלים במיטב משפחותינו רוח כפירה בשם הצדק והיושר ועל חשבון הילדים אידאלוגיות של כמרים רחל מחלחל במשפחות אנש תחת אפינו וכביכול בשם הקדושהמהורסחם משפחות ומכניסים ארס והיפך הקדושה במחניננו הרבנים חייבים לעצור את ההסתה הזו נגד כל המסירות נפש של הרביים כל הדורות כל הקדוש לנו הסט”א נתפס במקרה אחד או שתים של בעיה מקומית ומביא את זה לסילוקה של השכינה להרבות גיטין לכל חפץ משפיע גדול כאן בשכונהנאמר לי שברור לו שזה נגד רצון הרבי אבל חושש הוא מהרוחות החזקות של שנאה שמקומה לא ט… Read more »
There is a link to donate at the bottom of the article above
תזכו למצוות
I live out of town. But you bet I’d be matching if I could! I knew Chanie personally on many levels. This is not just about her. This is in light of all the horrifying pain of trapped and abused agunot. Please please march if you could and stop supporting a get refuser!!!
My original comment wasn’t posted. Obviously, the harsh truth can’t be handled.
The march is as important as helping the orphans. Chanie would want this. Freeing Agunos should be Chanie’s legacy.
March brave people! Be a voice for Chanie!
Y does anyone think that outsiders are taking part of this March ?? And since when is crown heights against bringing outsiders in ??? Especially to help..
That’s all this article is about – to keep pple from joining and standing for victims
( before U donate .. Be sure the money is going to the children ..
And thank you COL for acting as a voice of sanity and morality. A few points that need to be made (because so much harm can come from this for all sides and because in one case in particular it’s profoundly unjust and the facts need to be known). No one wants to see anyone in pain but these actions only add pain and prevent any resolution. Even in cases that are warranted, the first thing that anyone who wants to resolve the situation would do is to calm things down and talk with both sides. Riling things up will… Read more »
To be a part of a community that does its best to stick its heads in the ground and pretend it doesn’t have vile terrible problems. Shame shame shame.
they will do the March even if they’re rabbis say not
that’s clearly the organizers have their own agenda
nothing to do with loobawich it’s nothing to do with ch
To those who say the children are collateral damage. Why should they be? I think this march is important and good. I see the agenda and goals and locations were already changed and I approve of that. Like everyone is saying – separate the 2 issues completely. The children are being cared for properly – monetary donations, clothing, food and cleaning help would ease the burden immensely. Kol Hakavod for the person who started this fund. May the children’s suffering ease and may they be comforted soon. I am touched by the care of the Crown Heights community. Thank you… Read more »
Mixing up two inyanim and generalizing them is an avaira.
שאלה אחת
האם הרבי היה מסכים לצעדה זו תחת חלונתיו…
זהוא שמעון הכופר באיצטלא דקדושה
i smart lady told me today isn’t it the case of King Solomon…. The embarrassing against the kids must stop unfortunately is a lot of forces outside of Crown Heights thet trying to push their agenda against family values and holiness at least one family I know after an arguments the domestic abused card came to play bytow ladies that’s pushing the agenda and the kids are destroyed!!!the Shechinah is going away with those matches!!! I am NOT stupid I know there is a lot of problems in our neighborhood but take signs without the rabbis is there a recipe… Read more »
You spoke the word of the silent majority
However it makes me sad to see such a pure initiative mired with something that is political
I am horrified at this march, spilling the blood of six orphans, by a group of women who have decided to become judge and jury in a matter that is clearly more involved and complicated than they know. And the response from some of the people supporting the march, when confronted about how damaging this is to the children who just lost their mother, was shockingly, explicitly expressed in brazen terms. Taking a deeply painful, private family issue to the streets, taking sides publicly, while humiliating these young orphans is unforgivable. In the world that Chani is now, her first… Read more »
I know someone in CH who has been an aguna for this long.
In Williamsburg this would not happen. How is a March going to help her?
you are missing the point yes there are real agunos and everyone supports them, this march is not about real agunos and not even about a aguna at all its abotu certain people using the word aguna fortheir own personal case
How dare you try to imply that the brave people marching to free agunot do so at the expense of Chani’s children? One has nothing to do with the other. Of course those poor orphans deserve every chesed and tzedeka we can offer. However, to imply that by speaking out against the abuse of agunot, the victims of such abuse will be hurt more? No! We do not appease by remaining silent. Silence is what keeps women chained to unhappy marriages. Get refusers count on
our silence to keep up their abuse! Shame on you!
This silent march is to prevent future tragedies.
We need to wake up and do what’s best for the children and not have them trapped in situations that even the local Rabbis have little or no knowledge and control over.
Revenge ? .. This article is actually spreading more hate than good ..the comments are worse .. Revenge ?.. Is that what one calls a peaceful march in support of women locked in marriages just because they are at the mercy of merciless husbands … Revenge ?.. Where was this article when these children had a mother ! And she desperately wanted to get out of this situation Revenge ? .. Against what ? If there’s no harm done to these women and their families – then there should not be a thought of revenge . Revenge ?.. Is that… Read more »
please donate to the Kuperman children fund link is above
The story of a tale of two citys is nothing like crown heights
Either you are part of the wake up call or you are part of the silence. Choose wisely.
Nissan is the month that our forefathers were let out of chains and led to freedom .. A perfect time to March for the freedom of women being held in chains .
These children have support from their family !.. This letter is not the whole truth
Someone is finally doing something to encourage awareness and change. Our hearts go out to those kids. This march is about preventing such a situation from ever happening again. Join us. Break the silence. Make sure it never happens again.
Funny how suddenly everyone is so worried about the children now that there’s a march planned. Were you worried about them while their mother was sick? What about in the last 2 weeks after her passing? If nothing else at least this march got you to think about them! By the way the children have loving and devoted grandparents, aunts and uncles who fully support the march. Nothing is being done without their consent.
I have been a child of an agunah since i was 8, over 12 years. On that note, reading this letter makes my blood boil! Whoever wrote this (or agrees) HAS NO IDEA what its like to live in a broken home where the father uses u as a human shield against the rabbis, the community and even ur own mother! You have no idea the pain we children go thru because everyone would rather turn a bli?d eye to the REAL problem. Readi?g this letter makes me all the more certain that the march is A GOOD THING! I… Read more »
Often a father has life insurance and not the mother. This is probably not smart but perhaps the rally of financial support for a bread-winner father is different than a mother. Either way support is certainly needed. I hope the father will also use the resources of loving grandparents & aunts/uncles who I’m sure can help immensely raise those children lovingly!!
Support the kids YES. March against their father and anyone remotely like him YES
I think by writing this you sadly r doing the same…causing things to be written & exposed & hurting the children.
these are two separate issues that can be dealt with individually without compromising the other
I am physically ill reading this article. Manipulating something incredibly important for agunos awareness and using the children. So unbelievably dissapointed and shocked at the Lubavitch community so unwilling to support support agunos.
saying someone cant be sad becauase someone has it worse is like saying someone cant be happy because someone else has it better
Excuse me for my ignorance, how is a rowdy march effective in changing a very serious problem? Personally when see a crowd of people screaming I”m not even interested in hearing what they have to say. I am sure there is a much more productive way to address this serious situation.
Please look at our event page and see what are reasons are
Is there a link? I would love to sponsor a cleaning lady, food etc.
How dare a few non lubavitchers bring a march to our community!! ??
The agunah situation is v serious and v real. My issue is that our community has a Bet Din to deal with such issues.
My q to the leaders of this march is do they have the backing of our community leaders — if they do great (I will join) if not then they are going against our leadership.
This is dangerous bec it means we have anarchy and anybody can march anything, anytime for any reason — thus a total breakdown in order.
Pls don’t break our community but rather bolster our institutions from within not shatter from without!
talk is cheap and action is the KEY when a tragedy happens there needs to be a leader to stand up and get things done with the kehaty situation rabbi chaim fogelman and his whole congregation stood up and did something and our entire community and people from around the world joined in to support in the case you mention he is a rabbi of a congregation and has people there that support him (emotionally for sure and i am not sure about monetary) but if the people there would have created a fund to help the children at the… Read more »
Think of the children…
Do for the children
Think of Chani, they are the ones
Shes looking at from above
and hoping the best for them!
So be a part of THAT!
Perhaps something should be done further for agin as but now when the kids need help and healing it’s not the time. Put efforts to raising a fund to help them for pesach clothes, food, support especially when all their extended family is not there for the husband and kids right now, how sad.
You say let’s keep everything in a private manner and not publicize , then you pin two families against each other in the most public way .
If people want to march let them march , everyone who will march probably has a family member or close friend suffering from this problem
Unless you or your sister is an aguna, please don’t tell us what to do. You have proven the case for why we need a march. Because you and the rabbis just don’t get it. You don’t know the pain of an aguna. If a husband killed his wife, would you cry for him and ask people to support the orphans??
This article says what should be obvious to anyone. That is, the 2 issues of agunos and the welfare of the children are 2 completely separate issues. The children shouldnt suffer because of the other issue. They are separate and shouldnt be mixed as that causes a diservice to the children and to agunos by mixing individual political situations into the general aguna situation. That’s called hijacking the genaral aguna problem which is very serious.
Finally someone taking a stand for those kids! They are actually the korban to this situation! Fact is, they love their father, who unfortunately, is the only living parent they have, and by bashing him, and embarrassing him and taking all the dirty laundry to the streets, they are ruining the children’s life and future. Please, think about the repercussion a march organize by the family will have on the children.
A matter of agunas should be dealt with, but not by these people that are seeking revenge.
Saying leave it to the Rabbis is another way to sweep the issues of agunahs and domestic violence under the rug. Guess what? The rug is too small to contain these issues anymore.
Are you a woman? Women should be standing up for other women trapped in abusive marriages.
If those of us in happy marriages don’t speak out for the poor women trapped in a miserable situation, then who will?
Im just an an average fellow community who decided not to take sides , but my heart is breaking for the 6 beautiful kuperman children , and I all I’ve been hearing about is T shirts & marches , only place we should be marching is to those children , to give them a hug , a new Yom tov dress or a homemade dinner prepared with love .. good shabbos & thanks again for posting
Well said! This is precisely the point. The kids don’t need to suffer anymore! Let’s help them. There is s gofundme page that perhaps someone can post a link to?
I have been a child of an agunah since i was 8, over 12 years. On that note, reading this letter makes my blood boil! Whoever wrote this (or agrees) HAS NO IDEA what its like to live in a broken home where the father uses u as a human shield against the rabbis, the community and even ur own mother! You have no idea the pain we children go thru because everyone would rather turn a bli?d eye to the REAL problem. Readi?g this letter makes me all the more certain that the march is A GOOD THING! I… Read more »
This March is not about the kids. It’s about raising awareness about the get process and the plight of agunos. Please don’t stop something good from happening by hiding behind these kids.
there needs to be a separation between the march which is an important issue to helping the poor children. does anyone think about their future??
Is there someone to contract regarding meals
The Agunahs that still exist.
Vengeance wont achieve a thing…..
The children need our help and as a community we should be there for them.
Can some one please set up a link
This Sunday the march begins in front of 770 at 12:30 pm
We could and should march for agunah but do we have to bring up this name their are others I’m sure and it’s sed. will it help anyone to bring up this family, march for all the others that need help
This is not called mixing apples and oranges. The march definitely does connect to the suffering children. Maybe the community should not let the issue of agunos to continue but to make a racket and bring the children more suffering? Now?! The supporters of the march must realize what its really for. Its not to stop the agunah crisis this march is just anger. At a time like this the family and the community have to join together to help the children , not make it harder for them. This march IS making the childrens life more miserable!! Lets stop,… Read more »
I hear you but there is no contradiction, Jews are getting a bit of exercise and we might even be able to put on tefilin on a few people, As regard to helping them in other ways to quote you “Who is helping them with cleaning, cooking, homework, Pesach preparation, food shopping, clothing shopping and a loving listening ear?” I can help with cooking,homework, food shopping, and a loving listening ear but because I am of the male gender, my offers to help are declined. So as they say, I have the right to help but I didnt have the… Read more »
This is the best article ever!!!
Can somone that knows how to set it up please set up the fund for the family
what goes around comes around
you gain nothing by this march
It’s too bad, because I totally would have gone to march and so would many others, including some very respected people in our community. The agunah plight is very real. It’s too bad for all the agunas, that a march that should have been all about them, is being turned into a mockery. They are mixing in issues that have nothing to do with a march to support women who have been literally chained for years, unable to move on with their lives. I wish that the march was truly in their support, and not a march to further demonize… Read more »
maybe all the men should make a march for all the men who cant see their children because the wife ran away or wont let them or fights for full custody based and false information
ps there are more cases where women refuse to let the man be with the children then men holding a get
Thank you Rivkah so much! Finally! Someone actually talking some sense, instead of just spewing horrible hate and accusations without any proof backing them. Without a thought of how these hateful comments are so affecting the children. The Children need all the help and support at such a difficult time. I would love to send a meal and donate please post links for both.
Im just an an average fellow community who decided not to take sides , but my heart is breaking for the 6 beautiful kuperman children , and I all I’ve been hearing about is T shirts & marches , only place we should be marching is to those children , to give them a hug , a new Yom tov dress or a homemade dinner prepared with love .. good shabbos & thanks again for posting
Agunah (Hebrew: עגונה, plural: agunot (עגונות); literally “anchored” or “chained”) is a halachic term for a Jewish woman who is “chained” to her marriage. The classic case of this is a man who has left on a journey and has not returned, or has gone into battle and is MIA.
I can do nothing about those who insist on keeping quiet. But they themselves know that to remain silent is a violation of the Code of Jewish Law, which states that when a Jew at one end of the world does something contrary to Jewish law, every Jew — no matter where he is — must let it be known that this is happening, and that this Jew is harming himself and the entire Jewish people, thereby forcing the Divine Presence — which follows the Jews wherever they go — into exile
The problem is we need to stop abusing the word aguna, there are real women that are a aguna – unfortunately divorces are messy but there is a process in court and a process in bes din until the process is over by bes din / court a women is not a aguna It might be hard for a women not to have a get whil the process is taking place at bes din but its unfair to scream aguna and throw the man out of shul once the process is over and a bes din says the women is… Read more »
Let’s see through the haze and smoke, and worry about the main thing right now which is the poor children.
How will they go to camp? Clothing, toys? A smile on their faces? What have these innocent kids done wrong?
A true injustice to the kids to be neglected and treated like this by the community.
Besht center. Are run by outstanding chassidish folks. Maybe they have a fund??
It’s raising awareness about women who await their get for many years. The father is a Rav of a shul in crown heights, why don’t the congregants start a fund and give us the opportunity to donate?
TYSM! Thank you for being a positive person, who is taking action to bring the Geulah closer through unconditional acceptance and love. THE GEULAH WILL COME THROUGH AHAVAS CHINAM, through loving every single Yid, even when you think it doesn’t make sense to.
I’ll b happy to donate. The other family’s close friends set up a fund and did a great job at advertising. I’m sure many people will b happy to help if you set up a fund.
There is no need for a March. We need action!
The March is more about changing minds. Healing hearts can occur only if change takes place..
Unfortunately number # 3 is right and besides I don’t think it has anything to do with a community helping one and not the other it’s so happens to be that one person had friends who set up A place for people to be able to give (and did a good job at marketing it )why don’t you looking to set up a place that people can give if you feel that way.unfortunately or fortunately people are very busy so when a site is set up it’s easier for them to have a place to give
There is s time and place for everything, now is not the time they just lost their mother… With all this they must feel as though they have no father either due to all the fighting… Not fair they don’t deserve this!!!!
I think we are just trying our best on all fronts – please don’t let this become another sad tragic fight amongst friends and well meaning fellow jews with G-d forbid unfortunate consequences….
If we would only make the effort to see the good intentions, this march on foot – but coming from the heart – with Hashem’s help will hopefully prevent more broken hearts….
The letter says it so well – there are 6 precious innocent children who just lost their dear mother along with the so many things that only a mother can be to her children. This is all the more heartbreaking after the mother suffered so much pain for so long. As much as we want to believe and say that the mother now is no longer in pain – do we really comprehend her sorrow knowing that she was not going to live and what the parting from her children means to this very moment? Can we even imagine what… Read more »
I was shocked by what these people were doing. The person who they mainly planned to march against was actually found (and given a letter) by the local rabbonim that he cooperated throughout. The march is unfair and unjust and a true shock to everyone who wants healing..
like the wirtwr said, if tou really care about the family show them your support!
liaten, while I don’t know much about the behind the scenes stuff going on, I know the 6 children and have seen how much they love their father and how he loves them. Now they are all eachother has.
I understand the important message but at these beautiful kids cost, it is NOT okay!
Please let us know wher we can donate.
May we be blessed with the coming of moshiach NOW
the march and the harrasment of the children have nothing to do with each other, children are always innocent & sadly can suffer under circstances due to their parents choices. That’s the way the world runs.
the Rabbanim have done nothing, the people have done nothing to stop it in this awesome community, THIS MARCH will bring real awareness and will potentially save hundreds of wives/ children from abuse.
“those who do not confront evil resent those who do”
Marching and awareness does even more… It ensures that this will no longer be tolerated and aims to eliminate this travesty from reoccurring and saving many many mothers and children on a more long term basis.
In terms of raising money for the Children, where’s the link that you surely set up?!
When the organizers of this outrageous march show their callousness towards these children, they show that they are not about helping victims and underdogs, but rebellion against rabonim, R”l at all costs.
Chanies main concern right now is her children
Our main concern right now should be to help the needy and reach out to anyone who might be lonely or needy
Yes you’re right
Thank you
We must reach out to these kids!
I didn’t read all the comments but to #3 (and I don’t mean to start a shteching match here. I’m talking to anyone with your opinion) – think of these children as your own. If you have any yet. It’s very easy to say “Keep the issues separate” but that’s not true and not fair. We need to treat Yesomim better than anyone in the world. without even getting to the point of who is right and who is wrong here. We have a family on hand here that lost a mother. Everything else is now nonsense compared to doing… Read more »
Unfortunately, CH doesn’t have an active, normal, constructive Community Council. B”H there are organizations that are wonderful and helpful to those in need. However, it is often the friends of the family in need that make the difference. They are the ones that spring into action, calling upon the necessary organizations to arrange help, setting up financial support, or even like you so aptly write – taking the girls shopping for bows and shoes – a little something that might relieve some of their pain. I don’t personally know the family you are referring to (although based on recent sad… Read more »
i smart lady told me today isn’t it the case of King Solomon…. The embarrassing against the kids must stop unfortunately is a lot of forces outside of Crown Heights thet trying to push their agenda against family values and holiness at least one family I know after an arguments the domestic abused card came to play bytow ladies that’s pushing the agenda and the kids are destroyed!!!the Shechinah is going away with those matches!!! I am NOT stupid I know there is a lot of problems in our neighborhood but take signs without the rabbis is there a recipe… Read more »
If you post a donation link, please let us know that a responsible, capable and caring person has been chosen to see that the funds go directly toward the children’s needs.
I will be marching that noone in the community should ever be scared or ashamed as victims again and of course that our leaders those who influence our youth should be people who don’t lie hide and hurt.
The march has nothing to do with this particular story, please do not confuse the two. The march is a show of support for women who are fighting for their freedom. Do not undermine the importance of this march. Shame on you.
א. כל הכבוד לאתר, שמשמיע את קול הציבור בנושא כה חשוב. אנחנו לא רוצים פה בשכונה צעדות של שנאה ושל הסתה.
ב. באמת הרבה שואלים, לאיפה אפשר לתרום למשפחה החשובה הזו, שצריכה עזרה. האם העסקנים בשכונה מתארגנים להקים קרן לתמיכה?
אני מאמין שהרבה יתגייסו לתרום.
ג. למגיב מספר 3, מספיק עם השנאה שלך. אתה חלק מקומץ קטן ומטורף שעסוק רק בלהחרים ולהשמיץ ללא סיבה (אתה משקר, ביודעין, ומנסה להיות סמל הרשעות והאכזריות). הקהילה פה מקיאה מהדברים האלו, אין לזה מקום בשכונת קראון הייטס, ולא בין חסידים.
ד. יהי רצון שמהיום והלאה יהיו רק בשורות טובות ומשמחות.
Where a woman is refused a Get and her fate is an Agunah leaving her in a HORRIBLE situation. Alone. It makes sense that the community speaks out and does not allow this behavior to be considered ok. Rather than the woman suffering miserably while every one else goes on with their lives.
The author obviously has not considered the immense pain and suffering of agunas
Please post a link so we can set up a fund!
Words spoken from the heart! I agree 1000% Going public with a March will not help nor heal! Think of the children.. Don’t do this to them!! It’s terrible enough to have to deal with the hand that was dealt them. This predicament isn’t their fault… We are not a community that needs to be torn apart.. Would our rebbe approve of such a display?!?! All those who plan on marching, take that question and ask it to yourself… Your conscience… Your soul. Yes you may be hurting, you may have been terribly wronged and abused, but please, is this… Read more »
ThAnk you #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For having the wisdom to say what must be done
I donated to both families. I was surprised by the difference in support between the two. Yes, everyone should look out for all the orphans (and also the kids who didn’t have public fundraising campaigns. BUT where were you when my children became living yesomim???? Where was the support from the Rabbanin, the yeshivot, even the food pantry that turned me away as a mom with 3 little children didn’t meet the minimum family size of 5, and i had to literally knock on doors begging for help to pay tuition so i could keep my children in yeshiva?????? It’s… Read more »
Very well written! Tears are streaming down my face as I read your letter! Very true. Let’s all put together a special fund for the family and most importantly let’s be there for them in any way that’s needed. Pls post where we can donate.
Thank you and may we hear only good tidings from here on in with the coming of moshiach now!!!
Couldn’t have said it better
This march is about something happening all over the jewish world. Raising awareness of agunahs everywhere.
BS”D
well said
Were do we send money
If you truly care, please stop fighting and make peace.This would help these poor children.Hashem gets upset when we don’t accept His plan. At this time we need to encourage and support the father and children.
The march could have little to do with this specific issue now and more to do with preventing an ongoing tragic issue of Agunos.
I disagree with putting the children and father in the same context. Keep the issues separate…children are always innocent & sadly can suffer under circstances due to their parents choices. That’s the way the world runs.
I’m sure their is very loving family living within the community who can help with cooking, clothing & nurturing.
can you set up a link to give?