Confessions of a ‘Shofar’ Staffer

By Shmuel Pollen

First let me introduce myself.

I live in Morristown, New Jersey, and I have been to “The Call of Shofar” (COTS) three times. I went to the basic workshop, the advanced workshop, and acted as a staff member for a basic workshop. I sent several people there whom I thought would benefit and I briefly had a chavrusa with its founder to try to expose him to Chassidus. I wavered back and forth in my support for the program.

Many others who have gone will attest to the tremendous inspiration that was generated during the weekend. They report having felt closeness to G-d and to their fellow Jews and closeness to each other. I must say that until recently, I was singing the same tune.

I also found the weekend to be extremely intellectually stimulating, chock-full of brand new “spins” on familiar Torah concepts. Recognizing that there was currently no experience quite like this in the Jewish world, my policy became, let’s try to ‘maximize the good, minimize the bad’ of the workshop. That, I felt, was probably the way the Rebbe would have handled it. This was a great light, that simply needed better vessels. Or so I thought.

The latest uproar, I felt, were from people who didn’t really understand the power of “the experience” and were just having knee jerk reactions to any change in their community that they couldn’t control.

Many who went to Shofar continue to believe that it “got a bad rap”, was misunderstood and maligned. They still support the goals of the organization personally, although they would no longer actually attend. There are also a few Lubavitchers who have decided to actually continue remaining actively involved in attending the workshops and encouraging others to do so.

I direct the following words to those men, and women (many women have also gone although this has not received any attention), as well as any others in our community who haven’t attended but just can’t seem to understand what the big deal is when it comes to COTS. Were any halachos really broken, they ask?

I must preface: That what I’m about to say in this article is in no way written against anyone who participated, staffed, or founded the organization. On the contrary, it is written out of my love and concern for them. This is that last thing I want to do, because from my experience with the organization I truly believe that they are all uniquely rare and special Jews. They had the courage to go completely out of their comfort zones, and face their deepest problems head-on, in an effort to become a better Jew, a better father, or teacher. This in fact, is what was promised to them.

Even the founder, I believe, feels that although controversial, the self-help programs he attended helped him make tremendous strides as a person. And I believe that he is driven by a motivation to transmit what he viewed as rapid and powerful growth, and allow it to benefit a Jewish community that needs a lot of help in the realms of ahavas yisroel, happiness and successful healthy relationships.

Having said that, let me state that our Rabbonim and Mashpi’im did the right thing in condemning and disallowing attendance to the organization. And I will attempt here to explain why my only wish is that they had done it sooner.

WHAT CHANGED MY MIND

So what led me to a radical change of heart?

It occurred this past Shabbos, when I was having a short, but deep conversation with an elder chassid. He made a remark in a speech that he gave, that appeared to me to be a slight against COTS. I approached him about it and we quickly got into a philosophical conversation in which I tried to explain the merits of “Shofar philosophy” and how it fits in with Chassidus.

Keep in mind, Shofar does teach extremely deep concepts that are seemingly similar to Chassidus. And they often are found to be much more accessible than what we typically learn (which is a draw for Lubavitchers).

He countered what I was saying with proofs from various places in Tanya. Admittedly, his arguments were dismantling mine. But I continued to present the other side of the coin, playing devil’s advocate.

This was going on fine, until a certain point in which I explained a particular aspect of what Shofar is trying to accomplish, and suddenly he froze up, and became visibly shaken. He was so upset he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He came back to me to confirm, a few more times, that what I had said was actually something that is believed by Shofar attendees.

I confirmed it. Then he said, almost in a panic: “If they do this – it’s a masis umadiach! (-an instigator and inciter against G-d Almighty and his Torah). I can tell you 1,000 percent it’s completely forbidden to go to such a place.”

It shook me up.

And when I really thought about what he had said, I realized that he was completely right. It suddenly occurred to me that this organization which seemed benign and elevating, was actually, a threat to our very souls.

How so?

Let me begin with the allegation that people who went to Shofar have been brainwashed. I dismissed this when I heard it. It seemed ridiculous to me. Then I thought to myself: If someone actually is brainwashed, how would he know? Wouldn’t the brainwashing itself dictate to your brain that you’re in line with reality? Wouldn’t it convince you that what you believe now is even more real because you’re “enlightened”? And wouldn’t it dictate that anyone who says you’re brainwashed just “doesn’t understand?”

I came to the conclusion after some serious introspection that I actually was brainwashed, assuming the definition of brainwashing is being manipulated to believe something you otherwise would not have. It’s possible for someone to brainwash another, while the brainwasher doesn’t think that that’s what he’s doing. He may himself be brainwashed to believe that his work is holy. I believe that to be the case here.

QUESTIONS THAT NEED TO BE ASKED

If you went to Shofar, and you want to understand why I’m saying this, I’m going to ask you to sit for a moment while honestly and objectively asking yourself these questions:

1. The first time we saw a facilitator take off his yarmulke for an exercise or the yarmulka of a participant fell off and we didn’t put it back, it bothered you a little, didn’t it? And why did we start to accept that after a few exercises?

You’ll say: “Because there was vital, life-changing work being done. It was worth it.” I hear you. Hold that thought. Let’s ask further.

2. The first time you heard a four letter words used, it surprised you a little, didn’t it? But we came to accept that too. It was necessary to bring out the proper emotions, right?

3. And how about the non-Jewish music, even though many of us haven’t listened to such music in years. You will say, “Well, that was meant to loosen us up. It was all for the greater good.” Or was it…

4. Ask yourself further: When you first came into Shofar did you find it strange that you would be spending your Shabbos in silence? That you are only able to hear the speeches and philosophy of a person we had just met with no ability to discuss it with others?

5. If you never went to Shofar before, would you have allowed someone to tell you to lock legs with another man and hold his hand for as long as this man we’ve never met tells you to, with no regard for how uncomfortable you are with the situation?

You will tell me, “we needed to break out of our shell. It was for all worth it for what we accomplished. We sacrifice for ‘something greater’.” But was it? What actually was accomplished?

Any Shofar alumn will tell you that aside from “inspiration” and “connectedness”, what we discovered there was our “story” (a trauma in our childhood) and our “judgments” (against ourselves) that we’ve been holding against ourselves because of it. This “story” from our childhood, we discovered, has been holding us back throughout our lives. Until Shofar, that is.

At Shofar we, for a brief moment, experienced “freedom” from those judgments. It was a “peak experience” that showed us how good things could be. At the workshop, everyone was told, or told themselves, when exactly the wound occurred and how it occurred. We all, to my knowledge, bought into this line of thinking and we all accepted our “story” and it became for all of us the enemy of our “wellbeing”, the enemy of our vitality and of our very life.

A FEW MORE QUESTIONS

Is there truth to this? From a psychological perspective, childhood wounds do affect us later on. But I still have a few questions:

Are we absolutely certain that the founder properly diagnosed which experience it actually was? Is he qualified to make such a diagnoses? What about the other trainers with even less experience?

Would a trained psychologist be able to diagnose something so significant so quickly? Does his Landmark training somehow make him better at this than licensed professionals?

Should we really have trusted someone whose credentials are all from organizations that have themselves been labeled cults?

I further ask: Is it at all possible that some of us “conjured up” something from our childhood just so we could fit in with the group because after all, “everyone has a story”?

If so, how serious of a crime is it to brand a person with a problem, and make it a focal point of their life when it wasn’t one they had at all?

If that actually happened, wouldn’t that mean that the workshop was permanently infiltrating some of the most important aspects of our life in completely irresponsible ways?

PROBLEM GOES DEEPER

As if it was possible, the damage of the workshop goes deeper than that. In fact, the damage goes to the core of our belief about our purpose in this world.

Every Lubavitcher that went to Shofar knows that the purpose of the world is to make a home for G-d in this world. But when we come out of Shofar what do we say? Or if we don’t say it, what do we think?

We think the purpose of this world is to “come home.” It sounds almost like Chassidus is more accessible in “cozy” language.

But it is not.

It is, in fact, a complete corruption of the belief system of chassidus. The distinction is quite simple. “Making a home” for G-d is about G-d. “Coming home” is about you and your own personal development. The subtle shift in language has turned Judaism on its head.

Maybe this is why men who come out of Shofar have commonly been reported to be overly preoccupied with their personal development. Maybe that’s why they reportedly put their “wellbeing” ahead of stringencies in their frumkeit…

That’s a monumental change to our entire life’s purpose — in three days, mind you. How could we have given license to a man we know nothing about, to redefine our life’s purpose?

THE “EXPERIENCE”

And now let’s address the “experience”. The great “feeling of closeness to G-d and to each other.” This was the one I always continued to believe in. But when I started thinking about this differently, I started to wonder.

What did we actually feel there? Was it holiness? Was it G-d? Was it the soul?

Any time 10 Jews get together, the shechina does dwell. Especially when a Jew is crying out from his pain from the depths of his heart. But was that the right way to go about it?

According to the video Captive Minds that Rabbi She Hecht mentioned, it would appear otherwise. The suggestibility tactics used at Shofar are used at all kinds of vicious cults to create a euphoric experience.

Afterwards, the cult leader tells them that what you felt was G-d. That’s what you got here: G-d. Only here. People who tell you to leave here? That’s Satan trying to keep you from G-d.

Although they are not forcing you to stay as these cults do, the experience of “G-dliness” is generated and sold in exactly the same way. We’re told that feeling we felt is “dveikus.”

The founder has also often said that dveikus is the purpose of the world. We were sold a mind-game and told it’s G-d, and now we believe this workshop is the best way to get close to Him (Sounds a bit like the definition of avoda zara, come to think of it).

I ask further: Why are people who aren’t “into it” pressured to leave? Is the issue that every single person needs to be “into it” or the program doesn’t work?

Think about that. If you’re not “into it”, that basically means you’re not suggestible i.e. willing to do things you wouldn’t otherwise do. Which means that everyone else who is into it, is about to get manipulated.

THEIR 2 CORE CONCEPTS

And then let’s cover two core concepts that are drilled into your mind in this suggestible state which I think are extremely dangerous.

There are several “mantras” that we are told to say loudly, often with screaming and pushing against the facilitator. These mantras are your battle cry, so to speak. And they become your source of power against your judgments which are interfering with your happiness.

Some of the mantras seem to me to be okay. But here are two of the favorites that I have my doubts about.

1. I matter (for who I am)

and

2. I’m good enough

True statements? I would say so. Most psychologists would agree they are important aspects of a healthy self esteem. But if these statements are taken in isolation they can be dangerous.

If I’m good enough as I am, then one small aviera won’t make a difference, right?

The Alter Rebbe says in the very first page of Tanya that if you are not at all concerned with your aveiros it can lead to “kalus” (carelessness) about Torah and Mitzvos.

Shofar wouldn’t say don’t be concerned at all with your aveiros. However, the most powerful part of the weekend revolves around these two statements. And since most have never lived with these statements before, they can easily become a point of focus and suddenly the “hat and jacket” (kabolas ol) starts to come off (as reported with one bochur in the original interview posted on COLlive).

What has happened is the focus is now your happiness and your self esteem. And if halacha is making us feel like we’re always being judged and guilty, then maybe just maybe we should “take a step back” from the mitzva so we can do it in a more “healthy way.” (The founder says this in the original video conversation and sees this as a legitimate argument).

That may make some sense to some. But it’s a subtle distinction that I believe can make or break your entire life. The problem is what you’ve done is made your happiness more important than halacha (i.e. more important than what’s right). This is antithetical to Judaism itself.

Every baal tshuva knows that happiness through freedom from rules leads only to misery. They found more happiness in living a Torah lifestyle made even more meaningful by its rules. This is basic stuff. We all know this.

How could we have allowed someone we barely know to make us forget this fundamental truth of why we’re here in this world? Could it be we were in too much a state of suggestibility to notice what was wrong here? Doesn’t that sound like brainwashing at a very deep level of your belief system?

“FREE” IS GOOD?

Judaism, of course, believes that the most important thing in life is not yourself, but your G-dly mission. And if you’re miserable, well try to learn how to be not miserable. There are chapters in Tanya dedicated to exactly that. But G-d forbid to become careless with a single mitzvah.

(If any health issue, emotional or otherwise makes it harmful for someone to do a mitzva, any dispensation has to be done extremely carefully under the authority of a qualified Rov. But were any of us at that point? Did any of us need to be hospitalized for our emotional problems? Don’t you think the yetzer hora would just love to convince you that you’re “unhealthy” and therefore it’s not “for you” to be so strict in your observance?)

This relates to the concept the elder chassid was so fearful about.

I mentioned how in Shofar we’re learning how to regain our free choice, so that we can choose to do halacha instead of it being forced upon us, and in this way our service of Hashem is that much more meaningful. He was fearful for good reason about this statement. It’s truly scary. Who really knows what you’ll choose?

It seems like all Shofar people, from what I am aware, chose Judaism. But according to what we’ve seen on the video posted that just caused this controversy, it is sometimes just a “lighter” more “relaxed” form. Who can measure what those extra mitzvos they could’ve done are worth?

Free choice is a good thing, right? What could be wrong with that?

But have we forgotten the words of our Rebbe who taught us that truly free choice is expressed through breaking out of our animalistic desires via the Mitzvos. It’s not expressed by doing whatever you choose to do which invariably only leads to compulsion, laziness, addiction, crime etc. The yetzer hora quite obviously will leap at the opportunity for you to “rechoose” the way you live, and have you choose a lifestyle that is more “comfortable” but not necessarily completely right.

The elder chassid told me, and this is important for everyone to understand, that when it’s all said and done, it is preferable that one be miserable his entire life and do an extra mitzvah (b”h Chassidus helps us ensure that doesn’t happen). This is what the Alter Rebbe says about one who stays a benoni at battle his entire life. If you can avoid it, great. But if you can’t, living that way is really quite special and G-dly.

And that makes sense to me. Because it’s not about you and what feels good or even what makes someone else feel good. It’s about G-d and what makes Him feel good. And what makes him feel good is the mitzvos as codified by halacha.

So we have to try to find happiness WITHIN halacha. Which is completely possible. Within Shofar you find happiness OUTSIDE halacha, as proven by all the examples I gave above. The “greater cause” we were all after is happiness, and the yarmulka and the hat and jacket will have to temporarily take a back seat to that. How dangerous!

‘SOMEWHAT LIKE JUDAISM’

So is there more love there? Sure. Is there more brotherhood there? Sure. Could we use more love and brotherhood in our own community? Sure (and this probably happened so we can work on that).

Does the founder have some interesting concepts and some novel spins on Torah learning? Yes he does.

But just keep in mind that joining a group that is somewhat like Judaism, has a lot more brotherhood and some interesting wisdom but doesn’t emphasize halacha as much.

Does that sound familiar? It should. That’s exactly how Christianity got started.

Yoshke’s main deviation from Judaism revolved around him healing someone on Shabbos in a way that was only slightly out of the bounds of halacha. An interesting parallel. The Reform movement started in a similar way.

I don’t think Call of the Shofar was taking us there, but this philosophy was spreading very quickly, protected by a mask of holiness. If history has taught us anything, it’s that if you stretch the laws of Shabbos just a tiny bit or any other halacha for that matter, to accommodate a “higher purpose” it can result in millions of Jewish souls lost, G-d forbid.

If we needed more proof of this, just look around. All the immorality out there is rooted in a notion that happiness comes before the rules of what’s ‘right.’ That “I matter” comes before “G-d matters.”

IN CONCLUSION

Although it pains me to say this greatly, I now recognize that the Call of the Shofar, although I think it was created with the best of intentions, was actually a threat to Judaism itself. A threat to the soul of the Jew.

I’m really proud of the mashpiim who recognized the threat, addressed the issue so articulately, and put out the fire hopefully never to return.

(Incidentally, I urge more Rabbonim to join Rabbi Yaacov Schwei and Rabbi Yosef Braun in paskening on the matter because I know that many Shofar fans are convincing themselves that since only two paskined it might still be allowed.)

In conclusion, the Rebbe instructed us to “ker a velt” (turn the world upside down). So let’s not be on the wrong side of history. Let’s turn history upside down.

Let’s take on the rules (kabolos ol) and ultimately that will become true happiness. Let’s strengthen our belief in this concept. After all, have you ever seen someone more happy than a 13-year-old who just put tefillin on a karkafta? Think about that.

It’s time to wake up and rededicate ourselves to the pure and simple Torah and Mitzvos we were taught as children with no “spins.” Let’s get ready to hear the real shofar with the coming of Moshiach now.

Note: Many ask, what of those who truly have trauma, self esteem issues, excessive self-doubt, OCD,  insecurity and depression. etc.

Without Shofar, what are they left with?

My answer is we’re left with the same solutions that have been used successfully for decades.

Maybe we just need to take advantage of them more. 

Take the Rebbe’s advice. Talk about it with trusted friends and experts. Ask them how serious the problem is and how best to address it. You may just need a good book that shifts your mindset. You may need medication. You may need therapy and medication.

When you go for therapy, go to a therapist who is well aware of how to treat frum people i.e. they won’t teach you anything that goes against your current philosophy. Do individual therapy instead of group therapy so you get more individual attention. Do the therapy in incremental steps in which you have plenty of time to process what you are being told and time to talk it over with your trusted friends, family and Rabbis. Make sure they think you’re moving in the right direction.

Doesn’t that seem more logical and healthy?

It seems odd that a high intensity three day one size fits all experiential workshop suddenly replaced all of the above.