By Leah
Rejection was and will always remain an unavoidable practice in the process of the shidduchim. Rightful or not, there’s more at stake than two singles trying to figure out if they fit and like each other with the goal of getting married and building a Jewish home.
You have the parents on both sides, their extended family, friends and members of their social circles – each projecting their upbringing, understanding, experiences, dreams, failed dreams, theories and wishes for the prospective chosson and kallah.
Oh, and then there’s geography.
I understand that there’s a preference for a boy and a girl to be the most compatible possible, to share a similar background and language, so they can focus on bridging other differences and ensure a successful marriage and a happy life (if it’s even possible to “ensure”).
But why are so many American bochurim/parents rejecting girls from Great Britain? Why the immediate reply of “we don’t want an English girl,” even without hearing details of the offer or making basic inquiries? Do we have some kind of disease that warrants an instant dismissal?
The Chabad community (“Anash”) in London is raising very fine girls who are open-minded, tzniusdik yet well-dressed, talented and of all kinds of temperament, from gregarious to more reserved.
Since High School is relatively small, everyone is friendly with each other with no cliques, helping the girls to grow up to be accepting of all types and friendships often crossing the grade boundaries. Graduates of the High School have been accepted into the best seminaries around the world.
The community itself is very warm and hospitable. Whenever there is a simcha in town people open their homes to help accommodate the out-of-towners. Everyone makes Sheva Brochos for each other. There are a variety of halls and caterers offering a range of options (low-cost or all inclusive package to more elegant events).
And let’s not forget the amazing range of sightseeing and tourist attractions (Changing of the Guard! London Eye! Crown Jewels!) to keep visitors entertained and amassing memories and souvenirs while they are in town.
So why are there at least 50 unmarried single girls from the Chabad community in London looking for shidduchim and constantly getting turned down simply because they are English.
As a general rule, English girls are ready to move anywhere around the world and indeed many of them are filling Shlichus positions around the world.
If you tell me that traveling to England to date is a hassle, I can give you examples of girls whose parents sent them to New York but that rarely made a difference. Families even stated that they are ready to hold the wedding in New York if needed, but the response that is invariably heard is “No English, no European, no overseas.”
So why is this happening? There’s nothing wrong with English girls. The next time a shadchan suggests a girl from England, look into it. You and your son might be pleasantly surprised.
I can understand anybody being proud of the history of the country they grew up in, except in the case where that country has a history of anti-Semitism; which means I can’t understand those comments that extoll the history of England. BTW, I do frequently find British girls to be better bred, more mature and less spoiled than American girls so I have to agree with those who feel that outside of one’s culture is the primary reason American bochurim are reluctant to date an English girl.
I am writing to say that I am happy to have married and English wife.
Okay, Miriam, are you happy now? I wrote what you forced me to, can I come in now? It;s freezing and raining outside!
National brands, reflect national people.
Land Rover V Suburban
Burbbery V Calvin Klein
Church’s (shoes) V Kenith Cole
The running difference between the comparisons is this…. the USA brands / people are brash, loud, mass and cheaply produced and disposable
UK brands, – understated, elegant, and quality!!!
okay ihere we go. i am a 30 year old man looking for a shidduch. i have been told that because i am english i cant get a shidduch in the USA it is not only hurtful and just downright fustraiting.
i am also an english chef. YES ther is not set english cuisine, but that does NOT mean we cant cook. i trained for three years to become a chef and i can honestly say that i am prout to be a good chef.
at least the english dont base thier cuisine on burgers and fries.
Its all bashert. I am SY and born in US, married Lubavitch british and could not be happier.
I personally dont see any advantage to marrying American, but do what makes you happy and just get married.
One thing is for certain after reading these comments…English sense of humour cannot be beat!So any boy that wants to laugh through life go get yourself an English lass.
how strange of collive to post this…anyway i dont believe this has been mentioned in the past 600 comments but English girls know how to be a real and true friend,unlike mates across the pond who have far more shallow relationships.So how many eyes do i hear for the Brits?(Only the english get that!!)
i cant believe the stupidity that I’m reading, the mothers saying “never an English girl for my precious american son!” I’ve never heard such closed-minded nonsense in my life! I’ve lived in America for many years and I can tell you neither country produces more or less “cold” girls both are filled with beauty and talent although I will say that the British education system leaves the british girls with the ability to think for themselves much more than the Crown Heights education system – is that what all you mothers and boys are afraid of? a girl who thinks?… Read more »
I’m British and I’m proud
And I’ll sing it out loud
Bc 4eva that’s wat ill b
I’m British and I’m proud and that’s without a doubt
Bc the queen is always watching over me. Lol
“I feel very sorry for you all. You say you don’t want English girls….so stay single. You think ANY girl is clamoring to marry such closed-minded, prejudiced idiots? I don’t think so.”
HEAR HEAR! Utter Codswallop!!!
experience says money talks and Very LOUD!
I think England has some very fine specimens. I can say from experience!!!
Are we going back to the days of 12 tribes?
what is money to a life time of happiness and nachas?
A diamond dealer has an opportunity to buy an extremely expensive, top quality, rare diamond. The profits from the purchase of this diamond would turn him into a millionaire – it would completely turn his life around.
He is absolutely delighted at the prospect & is already planning his new life.
However when he finds out this particular diamond is sourced from India, he turns down the offer.
Need I say more?
Need I say more?
Agree entirely, what a sorry state of affairs
Wouldn’t trade my English upbringing for an American one ever! Proud to be a Brit! 😉
Reading some of these posts I was struck by how 1) How sad it is I am wasting so much precious time reading ludicrous comments and 2) How absurd this whole subject is. 1) Each place has its Maalos and Chisroinos, Who is to say which is better. 2) Each boy/girl is pre-destined to marry their bashert. By vetoing out of hand a whole segment of Klal Yisroel because of their birthplace is not only foolish, but Sinas Chinom, and self defeating. Hey aren’t we Chabad? The lamplighters of the world, the ones who travel the four corners of the… Read more »
Out of all Orthodox Jewry, our boys probably experience other cultures, religions & world events more than most others their age (Merkos Shluchos, Yeshiva etc) – Ironic then that a lot of people commenting on here seem to be extremely prejudiced, discriminatory & spiteful? Only consolation is that probably most people commenting, are some bored teenagers having a laugh – because if this is really the view of the Chabad today, then it’s come to a sad state & there will be a lot of girls put off Chabad boys – I know some already…. Intolerance of others is not… Read more »
IF THESE COMMENS CAME ALONG WITH YOUR NAME. I THINK MANY PEOPLE WOULD BE ALOT MORE CAREFUL.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
STOP WITH YOUR MEAN COMMENTS.
THE FUNNY ONES ARE OKAY.
For all you defending kosher cuisine you just proved the point about British thick-headedness. Yes there are restaurants. But, um, they are sephardic, morrocon, chinese etc. There is no distinct ENGLISH restaurant ie English food – and bangers and mash don’t count. Your PAvlovian response proves the point. Brits sighhh. I say, can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Try that for 60 happily married years.
I am not British at all, but the comments here both pro-Brit and anti-Brit are beyond stupid, stupid, stupid. I know some English people that are the classiest, most refined and wonderful in every way, and some that are not. The reason, in my opinion, why there is a shidduch crisis, whether in England, US, SA or Australia or anywhere is that people HAVE ROTTEN midos and say MEAN things because THEY ARE JEALOUS – mostly other classmates/sem mates. That is the problem. Stop the Lashan Hara and it will all stop. 255 coomments with Lashan Hara against US, English,… Read more »
If you have money ,you can be from the moon, that you have a line wanting to married you
they call us
narrow minded, materialistic ,parochial , unsophisticated, brash
head in the sand, attached to the apron strings, one dimentional,
uncouth lacking class, unwordly “farchnoyked”
Do you understand now why I and so many of my friends have had so many birhtdays on our own?
Stop the name calling and judge us on our own merit.
Lol!! ur funny! And the English are funnier actually taking u seriously!
That is, you might just be a Brit urself.
You must have alot of time on your hands, lol
Are u kidding??!! Golders green rd is known to have the most kosher restaurants ( starting from Brent street) along a single road than any other place in the world!!!!
Does this article have a record # of comments? Is THIS the pressing issue of the decade?
London has a very nice comunnity.
There is no shortage of food.
Why dont the brit want to look into frenchies instead of trying to stick to us americans who don’t appreciate you as you are? I think british and frenchies should get married together…. I know there are great boys and girls in these two countries!!!! Btw they’re in a way more open minded than us crownheighters who never really saw anything else than our own country!!
What about french girls who speak english fluently, went to te same sem as all of you? And I’m not talking about those who never integrated rather on the ones who are very Quick to adapt to Any mentality? Also willing to go on shlichus? Also very chassidish, classy and genuine….
244 not sure what your talking about, London has plenty restaurants. Thats the last to worry about anyway.
The point here is very clear.
For all those that generalize about English people. Your all missing out, there are beautiful, outgoing pretty girls here in London.
Don’t jump to conclusion and take time to look in to a name that is offered from out of town.
Maybe you will see surprises.
Go England! Btw if I say u wont Marry someone, eg English, u will end up marrying an English! So move on in it lives and get in with it (if u even have a life)
During the time I spent in London, I was startled to discover that Americans are stereotyped as being hyperbolic and dumb.
Reading these comments, I begin to see their point…
Homework:
Have your (American) son or daughter travel to another country for a few months and see life through another culture’s eyes.
Perhaps even learn another language and get to know people who (gasp!) don’t speak English.
Whoever they end up marrying and wherever they end up settling, the impact of these experiences would be tremendously beneficial.
Men like their food.
As a bochur, I have eaten American food, Chinese food, Italian food, Mexican food, Spanish Food, Israeli food, Moroccan Food, Teimmani food, Persian food, Japanese food, Indian curry food etc etc.
BUT NEVER HAVE I EATEN ENGLISH FOOD
You wanna know why?
There are no “English restaurants” because English cuisine simply does not exist.
THAT is why English girls have a tough time with shidduchim.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach – so learn to cook (and I don’t mean Yorkshire Pudding).
If these comments were to be posted up as an example of our chabad-Lubavitch community, then I think even the people who have written such comments would be ashamed and embarrassed! What’s happened to ahavas Yisroel? Would the rebbe want you to go out on shlichus and make fun of other yidden, especially because of their nationality…. Most definitely not. It is up to us to be setting an example to others of ahavas Yisroel, not chas vsholom making fun of other people.
Choose a South African
35 people get killed a year in England from gun crime. In america, on average, more get killed every 3 hours!!!
I hope I’m not waking up the whole house…… I’m laughing so loud!
I love the way everyone’s so nostalgic…….but wouldnt step one foot back in this country!!! No-one wants to live in London, but that shouldnt put u off going out with an pommie, on the contrary, she’s more likely to want to live in CH than s-o from another country. So…. go for it!!
Help!!!!!
I am confused
Should I go out with. A Brit or a frenchy?
An Aussie or a TeimAny?
A koreani or Brazilian ?
Tonight after seder was over in 770 crowds gathered around a bochur who isn’t that chassidish and has a smart phone to read the latest comments on this article.
After reading all the great things England in general and English girls in particular have to offer everyone decided that from now on their first pick will be an English girl.
With only 50 subjects of the Queen available and about 1000 guys ready to get married, I smell a new crisis coming our way !
What is open mindness refering to here
?
And if it what I think it is how can an english person which equeals square be open minded
Ester – You still make me laugh, after all these years….
Lighten up – ’twas a joke( u obviously don’t get our humor ) and if u read comment 228 you’ll see just how happy he is!!!
We are not even going to start with frenchies thats a whole different parsha!
Mothers of Boys. Someone suggestion someone for your Son.
You are not interested for what ever reason.
Please don’t say NO FOGET AND MOVE ON.
Just B/C She is not for your son.
She is for someone else son.
Think hard for a boy for this girl.
A neighbor, Friend , Fellow Worker etc etc .
YOU DONT HAVE TO KNOW THEM PERSONALIY.
Lets all take RESPONSIBILY FOR OUR FELLOW YIDEN.
What do you get when a Brit marries an American?
A Canadian! Eh!
My favorite friends are english (and i have met a looott of girls from all over the world). They are refined and truly nice ppl.
The classiest peoples. The bonds and bankers, the great British pound, the classiest dress sense, classiest cars, and know how to make an American seem a right fool (which the Americans seem to do themselves, don’t need our help).
No stupid 21 year old rule either, we know how drink.
And a history like no ther country.
We are proud
I’m married to an English girl for nearly 2 decades and I can say with confidence and certainty that every English girl is a catch simply because she was brought up in England by English parents who instilled in them values Mentchlichkeit human decency sensitivity a core sense of devotion loyalty and they are the funniest people in the world to boot. Whoever turns down a Shidduch simply because the girl is English then by process of elimination we can cross off one more empty minded shallow American that doesn’t deserve an English girl and everything they have to offer!!!!
Thank you everyone, that was a really good laugh.
And to all the wonderful English: chin up, put your best foot forward, you have so much to be proud of, you don’t need to pay this the slightest heed. Though some of the comments were LOL moments. 160 for example.
french boys and girls have always been rejected….
I’m “sure” he’s sooooo happy!!! Imagine what would happen if he expressed or hinted anything to the contrary?!
No place on earth like Stamford Hill. You got to love the place
Aussies save! vs. Americans spend!
Aussies = no debt
Americans = loads of debt
Aussies=live comfortably within their means
Americas= wake up 20 years later and don’t know what hit them 🙂
I know of many who said theyd never marry ‘british’, ‘french’ ‘israeli’ (you name it) who went to marry exactly those…..english have a certain refinement. some of the most successful and talented come from there.
Who ever lives in firsby road we are going home right now…………!!!!! Best memories!
As can be seen from many testimonies from the comments made by the Brits here, they are apparently very proud and loyal to their royal family of inbred descendants of various thuggish, brutish gangs of Angles, Saxons, etc. As for us outside of the forcefully-United Kingdom, we know who the true Royalty is and The Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach is who we are loyal to. Forget the bagpipes, now is the time to sound the Shofrois, kinor and trumpets.
Do you want to be responsible for destroying possible harmoneous shiduchim that may be on thre verge of engagement. And this article could quiet easily stop all the progress in its tracks, this is the most obsurd and devastating article thats ever been posted , and in a like this time . When its never been so crutial , that we come together to and tackle this crisis, that we are all faced wiyh as a community, so please be cautious , what you comment, and post in the future. Its a huge resposibilty not to be taken lightly
This oped isn’t based on reality.
Almost all British girls marry non brits!
WHY BLAME MARGARET THATCHER?
WHY NOT?
I loooooooooooooove post number 201
I am new to CH, where Is the closest mall around here?
Funny. In the UK Americans have a reputation of being a little dumb.
Most americans are Anglophiles (meaning they love british People). I have noticed that the Chabad Culture especially in Crown Heights is extremely prejudiced and closed-minded. To the more educated American, nothing is more attractive than a Brit.:They’re smart, cultured, educated and have class. Alas, many people in CH only learn about the world through the lens of ignorant prejudice
My English Husband is caring, principled and an amazing, selfless father. In short, “the best of British”
If anyone is dating an English girl right and reads this.. They’re gonna feel awkward.
Like someone said- nationality isn’t your neshama! Seriously if ur so in a box and can’t deal with a good British girl.. Then marry one more “your kind”- but to write such nasty comments is unreal!!! What is becoming of us?? Not to mention that British girls are so real and sincere.. Maybe a first impression would make them appear “snobby” or cold.. Due to the accent but that says nothing! It’s like judging a persons personality by their stutter!!! Meet a group of British girls then make ur statements. A scientist doesn’t do research on one object and decide..… Read more »
I have never laughed so hard for a long time! As a Brit, married to an American, living in the US or A, I’d like to address a few of the items: – Girls are more likely to have it harder then boys, in UK, Australia, South Africa, not because they are girls, but people know that many a time, the girl wants to move back to their home country, and the boys don’t always want that. – Yes, there are potentially some cultural differences between folks from different countries, but all being Chabad, we’re all pretty close together in… Read more »
My dcs were British and NORMAL.
No like seriously. Loved them!!!
Stop generalising assuming and predicting! My friend is English and she’s a great catch:) kk I’m English too.
Everyone go drink some tea, chill and rethink your pathetic comments:))
Was that all on stamford hill road 😉 ?
Could not have put it better myself. Thank G-d for the Pacific!!!
English girls have great humor ,,
Bochurim,,, your gana need that,, really need it,,
And they won’t max out you CC.
And guess what, they’ve grown up in communities that have other types of Jews, so their open minded. Not like CH
Most people reading this dont know what a “TCP” salad is…
with individual yoghurt cups that you don’t have to put back in the fridge and try finish off before it goes sour!
my head counselor was english and she is the best!!
For those English that have moved away from these green pastures, remember winter evenings of misted street lights over hanging flower baskets, the milkman, Weetabix, the warmth and the close camaraderie of a caring community, little children perfectly dressed in proper school uniform, the parks, and so it goes on… so much nostalgia. What a place!
seriously this is not normal!! Get over your close mindedness. the english are amazing people and the americans have one or two things to learn from them
Why not try saying that to a mirror:)
There is nothing wrong with the British girls!!!
If there is any rejection – it’s simply because it’s not bashert!
I know many American men who are married to British women, and are very happy!!!!
England has a very warm community, there is never a person left out, with nowhere to go for a shaboss meal.
How old?
I live in Australia and starting to think it’s not far enough!!
South Africa is
i read this article and laughed so hard…then i realised it had been written by an american..it couldnt possibly be funny!! This is a ridiculous if not totally absurd how you can stereotype millions of people?then again i have dated some american boys in my youth….i think i should write a comedy ..sorry i mean article about them.
Talking about best of British. What about the Grodzinski Chelsea buns! parkway fresh cream cakes! schwartzwald!!! what about the fruits and vegetables, you wanna taste real tomatoes and cucumbers, come to England, see what you’re missing. Our relatives from NY whenever they came to England couldn’t get over how well fresh produce tasted in England!! “In England’s green and pleasant lands!!”
How can you say all these things??
Have you ever lived in London? Have you ever even been to London??
Just because you met one British girl and had a bad experience doesn’t mean we all like that! Imagine I met one American and based my whole opinion of American people on that one person….
Just remember everyone is different. I’m not denying that English girls might be different but it doesn’t mean its a bad thing and we not all the same.
I read up until comment #147…I just can’t anymore! Can someone compile a list of all the good comments so I can enjoy all the entertainment without wasting as much time??
After reading all this…i could use a warm beer.
So well said. Totally agree with you
We are not reserved!!! We are open books we say what we mean, and mean what we say, Big Ben is reserved..and all the Americans in madame tussauds, the royal family are a good example of class and dignity to Great Britain (well usally)
not true
to no 15:
English girls don’t necessarily fit with English boys
You don’t like britts… then You don’t marry one! You don’t get along with Yanks… Guess what? You don’t marry one. No one needs your animosity!
Don’t forget LEEDS
From Manchester and London
we are polite (unlike other countries….) we are reserved and there is nothing wrong with us. people should not be so utterly shallow and generalize about the English . G-D SAVE THE QUEEN.(TO ALL THOSE Americans who might have forgotten…. just remember who used to rule over you)
Yup, Its true… When I was dating, I was told to avoid the british girls b/c well, they are crazy. Funny thing is, its pretty awesome… They are cookie in a british humor way… Or, at least the ones I have met. I think people are saying that b/c of what may be going on in the schools there. However, I think those sentiments came from people who really don’t understand the culture… Here in America, there isn’t really any CULTURE, so where there is, its hard to relate. Brits often have a bit more sophistication, and depending on the… Read more »
These comments are hilarious!!!
Today I woke up and hoped my day would be good. Then I saw this article and I just couldn’t stop laughing. Thanks to ever wrote this.
This has turned into a mess.. Someone decided to write it- clearly someone in need of a shidduch and actually has a very valid point!! All British girls go to the same seminars as Americans and they integrate and become friends.. Obviously not all are the same type and u can’t sterotype!! One thing true is that I feel they are more like frum than chassidish.. But this is perfect for lots of bochurim-
JUST A REMINDER THAT THERE IS A TREASURE OF LONDON BOYS IN …..LONDON….GO GRAB A CATCH FOR YOUR DAUGHTER
When we did Shiduch across the ocean they paid half of the expenses. If a girls comes to America she dates you and it doesn’t work out then let her date another, why not? May you find your bashert real soon.
Hands down best comment is no. 15 … love it
Many people have “shlichus” on their profiles, but when a good name comes up in the UK, Australia, South Africa and the like – “its too far!” Unfortunately a very limited understanding of what shlichus actually is! Maybe part of kinnus Hashluchim/Shluchos should be to educate parents in Chabad in what real shlichus means. Did the Rebbe only want shluchim in America??
For all those crying that Australia is even worse, there is a reason for that. In my experience, 95% of Australian girls want to live in Australia. I love AU (for touring purposes), but let’s be real, it’s a hole. American boys don’t want to move to AU. Be more flexible, and so will we.
we have a british daughter in law and she is a wonderful person!! great sense of humor! fantastic mother and wife!! my married daughters were so nervous when they heard there brother would be going out with an english girl and were sure it wouldn’t work out…well a couple years later…. we ALL love her, BH!
England has the best football teams!! Best pubs! And we have a queen.. Unlike Americans, u have Barack Obama lol!!!
It is time to remind ourselves that despite the fact that we are experiencing a shidduch crisis the world over, and it is not exclusive to Great Britain, or any other geographical location, it is actually the aibishter who runs the world, the aibishter who is mezaveg zivvugim and we should place our emunah and bitachon in Him, and increase in our good deeds, and iy”h we will be zoche to celebrate many many simchos on all sides of the world!
Forget about american girls…does anyone know of a decent bakery in the 3,300 mile radius?
im availavle…. and english!
SERIOUSLY? Thats all you can argue about? Chabad is in Shambles now you know why….
the mentalities are worlds apart
what is the email address of the shadchan(im) who will try to help me meet some of them?
Try being brazilian!!! They look at you as if you are a monkey!!!
(just a tip for you that is reading comments 150+: there are truly amazing girls from south america!)
kadus to England. its grey miserable clouds in England for many years now.
Finally all out in the open how we Brits talk about Americans!!
All of them.
One day
What a mess!!!!!!!!
Well said, so true!
I have met many American women and they can’t get enough of my accent.
My Humour Is so strong they’re not sure whether to laugh or cry.
British girls are kind and extremely caring, however I have to agree they tend to be a little close minded.
But deff not too Shabby:)
I have three nephews who are married to English girls. Two are already married for over 15 years. They are frum. chassidish, bli”h amazing wonderful wives, mothers shluchois, warm, capable etc, who raised fantastic children. Their husbands are mamesh gebenched with these wives. To generalize and say that the English girls are somehow inferior or different then American girls is quite silly.
To have an Aussie as a lifelong partner and be schlepped back to our land is not something to complain about! We’re the friendliest most open minded people and live in a wonderful country where our government actually takes care of us!!!!
If people would rather remain single in disgusting crown heights over a new life in a thriving community and beautiful country….then there’s something not quite right and we don’t want you closed minded people anyway!
Aussies and Brits should unite- make more UK and AUS shidduchim!!
I don’t usually comment on these op-eds but having read this is i feel compelled!!
What a lot of bloody codswollop!
The British are better educated
The British are steadfast
The British are headstrong and don’t believe in using psychobabble to discipline our children!! We smack em!!!
When I was asking for help from shadchanim one very eloquent and well mannered (sarcastic) shadchan rold me I will never get married becasue I am english. When asked what difference ut made he said “english girls are nerds or modern” well its been 4 years and my husband either doesn’t share that view or enjoys having a modern nerd as a wife
Get a life! Sucks for u! No tea time:)
But serious note- I would totally marry an American guy- I like the lifestyle.. So why can’t he accept mine and together u make it happen..
You’ve missed a huge part! The cars! Some of the finest over the years… Aston Martin, Bentley, jaguar, range rover, Morgan, noble, rolls Royce just to name a few…
Just seems there’s a lot baseless hatred for Brits here… But if u were offered one of those cars, ud love the British all of a sudden, saying how classy and elegant they are (which we are)
Is part of the Commonwealth. Re admitted in 1994
to #84 and all those who think America is the center of the world: for an Aussie to agree to live in America is just as hard as you coming here. how dare you say we drag Americans here? when a couple gets married its a joint decision about where they should live. do you know how many aussies have been dragged to America? why do you think you’re more entitled to stay in your country. I would never touch any idiot like you who makes conditions about where to live before meeting. what kind of a marriage would that… Read more »
What? I don’t think that English girls are too bad. No wonder there is a shidduch crisis, because people hear things about cultures and are very biased. There are people anywhere in the world, including America, who could be worse. Instead of rejecting British girls, the dating process should take longer so that the single in question can get a thorough understanding of the differences in the cultures. Having said that, I’m an American happily married to a British man and living in England, and while I am very close to a few English people, I am finding it difficult,… Read more »
I feel very sorry for you all. You say you don’t want English girls….so stay single. You think ANY girl is clamoring to marry such closed-minded, prejudiced idiots? I don’t think so. And if American girls were such great catches, why are there so many of them still unmarried? Some are pushing 40. The problem is you guys are not in a box. You are blind. It doesn’t matter where the girl is from, if she shares your values (assuming you have some) her country of origin should be irrelevant. The fact that it isn’t says a lot about YOUR… Read more »
They’re too intelligent.
i wasn’t aware that this problem faced the British girls as well, however I know its a huge problem for South African and Australians. In my experience people outside of these countries are VERY quick to grab the boys for shidduchim, however before even looking in to a girl, they dismiss them because of their country, A more troubling question that bothers me is – most of the Chabad people in countries like Australia and South Africa were sent their on Shlichus BY the Rebbe, and continue daily carrying out the Rebbes work, why then should their children be unfairly… Read more »
This is pathetic!!!! The points are true but this article was written weirdly… Like who cares about tourists attractions.. Obviously English ppl r gonna b diff a little.. We come from a diff place- doesn’t mean we can’t get along with an American boy and make a shidduch..!! I have plenty of really close American friends!
As an Australian, I would prefer my children marry Australians.
I would consider English or South African because they have have a similar mentality, although I’d rather my child not have the challenges associated with having one set of parents living overseas.
I would only consider an American for my child after all other avenues have been exhausted.
For all you boys out there, think again…I am married to an English girl and she is absolutely perfect in every single way! You should all be so lucky!
dont know why…they have a nice accent
Australia is on the other side of the world. It is really frustrating when you can’t just jump on the plane to attend family Simchas. I come from a huge family and I am often missing out. On the other hand, we have an excellent life in Australia. I work hard and i dont struggle financially. Eventually, I will probably move back. But for now I am comfortable.
ARE WE NOT ALL JEWISH?
Thanks – you brightened up my day!!!
Where to start this open ed will only be helpful if it brings change. I don’t know if there are more English girls than Israeli or American girls looking for a shiduch, but to be turned down because you are English is wrong. Look around at the many happy Americans married to English boys and girls. This shows it can work!!! So its expensive to travel I hear you say, life is bshert and it has a way of working its self out. If you look into something and its really good share the cost of travelling and the dates… Read more »
All you need is Love!
Just remember that most people who live in foreign countries don’t live there cause they like the weather! They’re probably there as shluchim! So they are the REAL deal!!!!! So think twice who your saying no to, perhaps to the Rebbe, the one who send them there in the first place?
It’s fine if they don’t want us. There are other guys out there. Less immature and less pathetic. Good luck to the Americans.
haha yes maybe because they aren’t australian.
also bc the accents only cute on the english guys…
Firstly, the point of the article is to bring awareness tu this issue – which it clearly has. The very outrage of some proves that this has touched a raw nerve.
Secondly, obviously one must make a Hishtadlus – this is exactly the purpose of this article!
Thirdly, it is quite obvious that anyone who stereotypes is themselves extremely narrow minded and in a box, square like no other.
English girls are low maintenance, genuine, happy and straightforward people.
P.S I hope you’ve been saving up for your American wife’s Jimmy Choos and weekly manicures.
Look at this way… We all know that today there are more boys than there are girls. Why should a boy fly all the way to England to date this “potential” girl when he has 3 right under his nose sitting with their arms crossed just waiting for him to choose the them… That’s A! B.. The cultures are sooooo different! Why create more problems?! Let English marry the English and the Americans marry Americans… That way they know the culture… As is when a couple gets married they have “getting to know you, living under one roof together” issues…… Read more »
theres nothing wrong with the british!! Im a brit and Im proud and so I’ll just rephrase this- the shidduch crisis has reached England. The crisis always has to do with the girls, so it has nothing to do with being a brit so keep calm and be a brit!!!
Some of my best friends are English
The reason we were all “thrown around” the world by sancherev & later the romans in the first place, was because of SINAS CHINAM which helped R”L destroy the B”HMK! Much like the shameful comments some people have said!
…go brazil………….
I find they cover up much when giving references, so there were wide gaps between the information given and the reality.
Also, the English shadchanim push and push. My sons was harassed until my son relented and went out. Tznius? Very chilled
Just BTW, many of those English girls have one American parent and carry US passports, and even though they come to CH, stay and work here, they are still considered as British, and get rejected instantly.
I, PERSONALLY, LOVE the English and French accent as a Bonus for a Shidduch. Although, I’ve been told that SOME English people tend to be like the Stereotype that they’re a bit too-cold! Also, SOME, tend to (NOT, INTENTIONALLY, I’m sure) behave, AS IF, they’re ABOVE, EVERYONE and others are BELOW their CLASS (social, clique, Yichus, etc…) Furthermore, Baruch Hashem for the High-school you went to, BUT, people of ALL ages, have stories of cliques in HS! Another reason is, LOTS of American have a limited grasp of vocabulary in the language and furthermore do NOT that who and whom… Read more »
!
I got to agree with this article as a English boy i would never ever! date a English they generally are quite weird..English boys on the other hand are quite the catch.
I’m so sorry your having such a hard time finding your match! Perhaps try one of us! We will make you happy!
My daughter who is 22 beautiful, smart, comes from a good family. She is eidel and educated is a size two. She is kind, has great personality and a great sense of humor My heart is hurting no shadchan has gotten any shidduch off the ground for her at all. So its not the english its us too. Would like a solution. Is there a normal shadchan in town, who cares who is ibergeben who can help me find my daughter’s beshert. I am getting older and would like to be here iyh to lead her to the chuppah HELP
We are from lubavitch we can’t be any prouder if you can’t hear us now we will yell a little louder! WE ARE FROM LUBAVITCH!!!!!! Lol
We’ve just come out of the best 3 summers of our live, we’ve had the royal wedding, the golden jubilee, the Olympics, even the queen had a good laugh. We have the commonwealth, good food and confectionary. We have the ashes, some of the best tennis tournaments and players, we have the best football league week in week out. We have tight friendly communities. Beautiful scenery, wales round the corner. Scotland and EVERY good whisky distillery in the world!! We have a wonderful history, that goes back 800+ years. Not 150 or wtvr. We have many great rabbonim, and tosfos,… Read more »
Lol so right!!!!! We are truly the best!!
Honestly fellow Jews, how can you actually be saying such nasty things about other Jews from another country.
I’m English, my husband is American and we have a great marriage thank Gd. My children speak with joint accents and it’s really funny. We laugh and have love and respect for each other.
What’s the matter with the miserable ones out there, why the pointless hate.
So many nasty comments from frummers, yuk, it’s very off putting.
Cheers.
br br br its a bit nippy outside 🙂
Ice Berger cup cake with sprinkles and rondossssssssss!!!!
Love London!!!!!! We are the best and fess know how to laugh!!!!
these are the most bigoted, small-minded and if english was a race, racist comments I have ever seen. THIS is why no ones getting married.
My all American aunt married a repectful and proper Englishman. She said “Never again English”!
All her sons in law are proud Americans or Canadians
Perhaps if English girls came with a beeter return policy, we’d date them.
when it comes to a fry person on mivtzoim we have the most ahavas yisroel, BUT when it comes to our fellow lubavitchers we are quick to judge just by the passport they have! I know plenty of english lubavitchers and i find them a lot less fake than american drama queens, and many more mailos. and if you want to play the mark twain game he couldn’t have put it better “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” o and for all you unworldly people, south africa came back in to the british commonwealth!… Read more »
Why do so many English girls say no to English boys?
That was with regards to the weather, not the people.
My wife married a wonderful
English fellow and considers herself most fortunate. That’s me by the way
The problem is $. Not just the dating and wedding
costs. What about when kids come along? Who’s
Has the money to travel overseas? I hope my kids
Meet their beshert from a place I can afford to visit.
I think that you just reinforced this op ed article..
As an English girl you cant comprehend that you dont understand………
BTW. your 2nd half of your comment is 100% true.
Oh my goodness what are you all talking about!
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They are great people just the english tend to be darn cheap….
their accent!
Anyone who refuses to look into a person due to their nationality is just stupid
I am lucky enough to have married a British girl and not get landed with an American dummie!!!! Enough Said!
When someone turns you down,because you’re English.They are turning you down in a polite way. Instead of telling you, we’re not interested because of……………, we aren’t interested,
because you’re English. When the Basherter comes around,you won’t be turned down.
I breezed into Crown Heights, fresh and young at 20, all ready to get married. I felt hip and Brit, with a funky boy-cut hairstyle and Laura Ashley clothes. I dutifully met with a well-known Shadchan, who obligingly informed me that “American boys don’t like English girls.” I was completely speechless by the absurdity – and it was one of many I heard during my stay in Crown Heights. Boruch Hashem, my dear hubby’s extended family think my accent is the coolest, my style is adorable, and of course I’m so very clever! Point is — this English stigma certainly… Read more »
and counting…I love COL Shidduch op-eds lol
the smell of rain the leaves…listening to the arches during dinner? dun de dun de dun de dun
of my best friends are English. And some of my best friends
are Jewish.
ARE cold
I don’t think it’s a Commonwealth problem (though S.A left the Commonwealth in 1960)
There are scores of S. Africans married to Americans…including myself….and my in laws didn’t think twice about my nationality (though they all love my lekker accent!)
People tend to compare us to the Brits, but we are nowhere close to their mentality.
I married an English guy. He is an amazing person , wonderful husband ,and an awesome father!!! My in laws are really kindhearted, generous, and loving. We are happily married for quite a few years. And to think I hesitated dating him because he was English….its just narrowminded to shut the door on an entire country.
all the hilarious comments are from english happy pple and all the misarable serious comments are from americans. …lol
What did mark twain say about Manchester? Might give the English a bit of heads up as to what problem pple have with them
I am married to an English girl for many years now. Best in the world. Wouldn’t have done it otherwise.
WAY too many comments to comment on each…
but…
To some I have to say AYMEN!! and to the others…. SHUH UP!!!
P.S to the one comment that did stick out in my head… I have been in C”H for almost 30 yrs and on only a handful of occasions have I had someone address me with a “good Shabbos”, or not been looked at, with a “do I know you” face, when I say Good Shabbos to a fellow Jew!
LONDON BRIDGE US FALLING DOWN FALLING DOWN FALLING DOWN LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN MY FAIR LADY !!!
I bet you Americans don’t know that song !!!!!
Maybe if the aussis wouldnt get married and drag their husbands back to no mans land more guys will want to date you. but no one wants to be dragged to Australia
Rabbi Heller Shelita, has two sons who married English girls!
we English are clean and organised and very talented .we also tell the truth .we are not fake like people here. look at the teacher who are english here one does wood work ,one does nigunim art teachers and the homes here who have english mums are really well raised .
It is too difficult to date when they are far apart….its hard to make a connection after when dating on Skype…so people dont want to start..
if they came over…the problem would be reduced.
what’s wrong with these English people? first they hold it all in behind a steel facade. Then they explode like crazy and blame it on the people who happen to be in the crossfire. No wonder Americans don’t marry into English too often…
I really don’t know where to start.
You can all have a good laugh.
Trust me the Shidduch Crises is SAD.
When we will care about MIDOS, FRUMKEIT CHASSIDISKEIT, ERLECH ETC
Yes they is a load of English Girls.
Their are 100 of girls bet 22 and on waiting, for SOMEONE TO SHOW AN INTEREST IN THEM.
We need to create a Shidduch Network. online.
PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO HELP THE REBBE DAUGHTERS REACH THEIR GOAL UNDER THE CHUPAH.
Fabulous caring husbands fathers…
as a 40 year old british woman, I am most of my friends married americans. It was not an issue 20 years ago
At least my wife is, 😉 . People have to many preconceived ideas when it comes to whom they decide to go out with that don’t necessarily reflect reality. Maybe the non-commonwealth communities are the closed minded one…
They are chassidish, kind, warm, welcoming, fun, well-rounded, balanced, hard-working, smart… and they brought up the best husband a woman can ask for!
its no secret that there are more unmarried girls than boys which gives the boys a much bigger base of girls to choose from. why would an American boy choose to go out with an English girl? Why would he want to deal with the issues regarding marrying someone from a different background from a foreign country etc. when there are plenty of American girls to choose from first? I’m not saying that its right or its fair, its just the fact. The average American boy would rather exhaust his American options before considering going out with a foreigner.
English girls are way better looking than other girls, that’s why Americans are too insecure to date them..
This is all ridiculous- one can’t stereotype an entire country!!! All the British people I know are really wonderful! Plus they have a great accent ( they sound smart regardless of what they are saying). 🙂
any doubt about english girls? call the wolff family!
They often refuse to even suggest an English girl
Who are you ?
I think you are me
LOL
They very cold never never in my live
I found the solution so listen closely, I married a woman with a Dutch mother so it takes the chill out and actually makes for quite an amazing woman.
Never did and never will
and don’t forget to mention that you also wouldn’t want to marry someone who lives past Montgomery St. and it has to be between Brooklyn and Albany. but ur not square. just dumb.
Where in the world can one watch such a spectacle week in week out. Come on England. #15 lets go all together now G-D save our gracious queen………………..
Be careful, the English machatanim can drag you down, down down!
You could now order marks and spencer online
and what’s about the good English boys that you Americans won’t touch..
I find most the English to have a beautiful refinement to them. What people think they want is not alway found to be true, but feels safe, so they typically stay within that zone.
Writing an op-ed can’t change reality! The reality is that the English are DIFFERENT than the Americans. Crying how unfair it is, is just burying your head in the sand and denying the reality. Of my four friends who married Englishmen, three are just MISERABLE, but b”H at least they;re still married.
Americans are intimated of us ! down to earth , real, class , smart and wickedly funny, creative, great cooks … Except for my american husband who I Whipped into into shape- tought some manners, how to laugh, relax , have fun, not be such a workaholic ,instilled values , told him about the london dungeons and methods used when not obeyed….funnily enough he’s happy!
What an odd article to write. there are 2 things wrong with it. 1) Im sure british girls are very nice people. I’ve met a few and the ones I know are great. Yet just because they are nice doesnt mean that its cheap to fly there. It doesnt take away the factor that yes they are overseas. Which is a valid point. Maybe some people are fine with paying for tickets, but some people are not. that has nothing to do with how nice or not British girls are. 2) the second thing wrong with this article is even… Read more »
and this is one of the most ridiculous Op-ed’s I have ever read on Collive.
HKBH is in charge of Shidduchim, do your Hishtadlus and Hashem will do his!
May we have lots of good news!
for this reason alone I know why you aren’t married. Trust in the eibeshter. Hashem obviously hasn’t sent your beshert and that’s that. Why are you blaming it on your nationality?? connection…
It seems that the writer is just very bitter, I did not reject an english girl for my son.
I only want to marry a fellow clown heightser
with shidduchim, everyone gets a bit picky. they want the perfect normal girl, no different than themselves. Americans normally only want americans, and that’s that. they pass up the girls with just the tiniest difference. I feel for you, but the shidduch cycle is something that is, unfortunately, set in stone. Divorcees marry divorcees; widowers marry widows; americans marry americans; israelis marry israelis. Just marry an English and continue the cycle.
I’m from London and my husband is the happiest guy out there !!!! Hahaha
Hey author you forgot to mention the west end , Brent cross , selfridges , Harrods and Marks and spencer !!!
Who needs Macys and JC PENNY ?!!!
PS ENGLISH PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO LAUGH !!!!!!!!
Stop feeling sorry for yourselves. I don’t think it’s because you’re “English”. Your time just hasn’t come yet. I know A LOT of unmarried American girls. But they don’t blame it on our country…
there is way more then 50 girls…
Ribena and hot snacks and Americans don’t. And a can and a bun- when we go over.
I had problems with English girls because I always felt they couldn’t express themselves, they keep everything stuck in a box and then blow with no warning.
On that matter, Aussies are the same, they all have friendly exteriors and are warm but will never tell you if something is bothering them…
Its a very Victorian way of life
1. Is the post writer the frustrated parent of an English girl?
2. Hello. There’s are much more than 50 girls from the US that are single. there are much more than 50 girls in Brooklyn. What is the point of this post???
Well. Adding 1+2 I’d say the writer should have simply posted a pic and bio of the girls that are eligible and needlessly being passed over and let the marketplace decide.
[a] English are extremely square. [b] Their humor is generally corny. [c] Their logic is usually shallow and somewhat askew. [d] Their tastes are bland. [e] Unfortunately they have produced in the past ‘white trash’. [f]Let the Sth Afr, Aust, and Uk communities date each other to solve their shidduch crisis. However we know understandably, Sth Afr and Aust are years beyond the English. [g] English parents are very difficult to deal with. [h] Wedding arrangements are not the issue although may not be ideal. It’s the English mentality for the rest of one’s life that is challenging. [i] Do… Read more »
I am English and I’m proud and ill sing it out loud, cuz forever that’s what I’ll be …. Oh yeah.
If only Americans knew how to laugh like the English and not be so miserable and angry always… Lol
Except south Africa isn’t part of the Commonwealth.
I don’t even understand the idea,
I’m married to a English girl, they are smart, amazing wife’s and great mothers. The Americans have a thing or two to learn from them.
I will just say it’s from experience we say this. It’s not by accident that we all say the same things. I don’t know who is posting. with 2 English in our extended family we see stubbornness and in their own box. To solve your problem look for English boys!!! I for one would not hear of English girls for my sons. Sorry but that’s the truth.
I think Australian girls have a much harder time…incomparably!!
http://www.vosizneias.com/144018/2013/10/21/london-budget-airline-to-offer-flights-from-london-to-ny-for-240/
Has anyone counted how many crown heights young women rrmained unmarried?
English? Try Argentina.
what about english boys we whee also brought up on the princial of openmidness vchu
Hmmm i wonder who really lives in a box
BS”D
Mmm. Lovely News!
Divorced, handsome, young man of 50 with 2 kids, good parnussah, b.t., cannot re-locate, but is a huge Anglophile. R.S.V.P. to Mrs Levertov (Strocks) here in Crown Heights.
Mrs. Levin(Liberow) can provide an excellent reference……
a few unstable girls gave us all a bad rep…
thanks for writing this
tray to be israeli
“English people live in a box” – just like Crown Heightsers, except, English people live in bigger boxes.
We all need to remember to remain open-minded in shidduchim….My son did a shidduch with a girl from a certain country overseas where the girls have a lot of trouble getting dates, and he and we are very happy. I will say, though, that in general Lubavitchers have less of a problem than some other communities. One relative who lives in a certain Brooklyn neighborhood found that people only wanted to do a shidduch with a family within walking distance for Shabbos walks… Let’s count our blessings while we open our minds!
Learn the differences: The chilled ones are Australians and South Africans. The English are the stubborn and square-minded.
And fyi, Canada is part of the Commonwealth too.
Ur in a box.
Exactly what its saying.
Ur making a genarlization, there are all types of English girls.
There not all square in the box.. Where u come from.. Are you a crown height person that doesn’t know anything differance but just from up ur road and around tour corner.
Open ur eyes.. Ur being exactly what ur saying.
You must find out about the girl before saying no cuz she is British! Why would you assume that all English girls are the same? Are all Americans the same? The whole crown heights is full of different types let alone America so please don’t judge a British girl just because she was born in England!
We are so down-to-earth, real, kind and confident. My american husband tells me everyday how lucky he is to have married me. Thank g-d I didn’t end up with an American big mouth who seems to have opinions about everyone and everything:)
Cold Mentality!
Maybe they’re too proper?
I let my son go out with a British girl and that is the best thing that could have happened! Boruch Hashem he is happily married and to an amazing women who is bringing up a beautiful family kah
The English girls mite be nice but the parents are very lame I’ve been to London 5 times for dates and the ppl are just lame I was there shaboss and no one in the Shul said good shabess to me , I know when I’m in the USA ppl are so nice try ask who are u were u from so I english ppl need to work on them selfs before u deserve us good USA boys
Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and single
They just don’t know what they’re missing out on.
I don’t get this op-ed; it’s inevitable that people will have negative things to say, and with comments being sensored, how is this going to be a legitamite discussion. It’s only going to be one sided- which is kind of pointless.
the bochrim are just not interested in hearing about the Queen
i traveled across the ocean, and b”h i’m happily married to a wonderful person from the uk, i can testify first hand they’re very nice!
Here now! Just locate 50 decent English boys will’ya, and you’ll have solved your problem in a jiffy, old chap! Simple, innit? Chandeliers were invented for bright bulbs like me!
Thank you and sooo true!
Lubavitchsingles.com aka the girls list has currently around 40 London girls listed and about 10 Manchester girls.
If you know of any more please email [email protected] or use the online form.
can i have that list of 50 girls hellllo….?
here here
Because there are too many divorced British girls.
it seems there is a distinct difference in mindset (which manifests itself in many different areas) between americans and english people and this can be hard to overcome.
Yep i agree with #3. Try being Australian. and somehow everyone loves us for everything buy shidduchim.
Fair? I think not, esp since many of these families were sent on shlichus by the Rebbe.
Its something against the Commonwealth in general. Australians, South Africans and English have a stigma of being more chilled which personally I find sad as they all raise fine people.
I have a daughter, Shiduch age, and – for some odd reason – any Boucher that lives in England, she refuses even to hear about….claiming different mentality etc etc. Nothing will convince her otherwise!!!!
english people live in a box and everything is to the extreme for them!
from an experienced american
well said
LOL English… try being Australian!
The problem with English girls is that they are English! Enough said.
This article is so english But has great point