Dear COLlive,
I need your opinion and readers feedback…
Em yerzah Hasem, my husband and I are approaching our 50th wedding anniversary, Boruch Hashem.
We want to do something b’ruchanius as well as b’gashmius. I came up with a plan to make a fundraising event which will benefit Keren Simchas Chosson V’kallah (KSCVK), the organization that helps make weddings for young couples.
We would sponsor an event – I’m thinking a melava malka with salads, fish, spreads, sushi and maybe pizza. We would request that all participants donate a minimum of $50 and higher.
My children are against the idea. They don’t think anyone will want to come (except for the immediate family).
I really want to do something meaningful, in a Jewish way, so that we can have a zechus not just a celebration.
Hashem has been very good to us and we would like to do something to thank the third and very important partner in our marriage.
I would like your reader’s input. Do you think it’s a good idea? Do you think people will want to spend the money?
Make a private family party at home with a jumbo “lottery” type check to KSCVK on display as the centerpiece. This will serve to show your family the esteem you have for the Mitzvoh of Tzedokoh, and give them all the opportunity to connect with and, as-if, partake in your giving.
You can have a “signing of the check”…
Enjoy
i think its an amazing idea! what a nice way to celebrate an anniversary
I find it interesting that this lady wants to donate to one thing and other people are telling her to donate to something else. She wants to dona mitzvah, is it fair to try and take the money away from one organisation to give to another? On another note. I come from a huge family and many of my own family members don’t attend each others wedding etc., so I am not sure that people will come to an event if they dontbknowvwho you are unless the whole event is advertised differently. I also don’t think $50 is a lot,… Read more »
What do you love about it? The fact that OTHER people are donating money? Another PARTY?A big PUBLIC shpiel of an event which is a personal family simcha? Although it is a noble idea, it is not about the tzedaka- the amount this would cost could be donated privately. I love the idea of having a small PRIVATE party for close family and friends. Everyone can donate to the designated tzedaka. That would be the best of both worlds- and that wouold be the Yiddishe way of doing things- The bracha of Hashem is found in what is hidden from… Read more »
even without anyone giving Tzedaka, the Rebbe said about the importance of people coming together and use this as an opportunity to talk about important things in the community. eg. what does it mean to be Lubavitch nowadays?
happy 50th however dont ask folk to contribute to your party. simply put on the invite, in lieu of gifts please donate to whatever charity u wish. whatever they give , they give. if u cant afford the party, dont put it on. besides, your kids should be the ones putting it on. if theyre not. toss em out of your will. and thats all i have to say about that.
It’s very nice of you to want people from the Community to join you in your simcha, but please don’t force them to pay $50!
Firstly Mazal Tov – big time!
Secondly, I thank you for this article, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU DO IN THE END, just the question alone inspired me, and I will be doing something that will be giving to others for our upcoming anniversary, which is only a 5th of yours, but with Hashem’s help will lead to many years of giving in honor of our ‘third Partner’ thanks to your wonderful thoughtful article.
Please keep in mind the first Halacha in Shulchan Aruch ‘don’t pay any heed to the scoffers’
50 years how did you do it!!!!!!!!!!!
sponsor a prize to the action in which to buy a ticket costs 50$, in honor of your 50th anniversary, and anyone that will buy the 50$ ticket will buy it in your zechus.
Mazal tov on this milestone! i think you should sponsor one of the $50 prizes for devorahs auction and get 50 of your friends to buy tickets in your honor.
Donate and ask others to donate in your zchus. Offer to be the honoree for Devorah,’s Chinese auction. If I had time for an expensive social evening, I wouldn’t necessarily think of your personal event as my first choice.
Mazl Tuv! Mazl Tuv!
Many more happy and healthy years together!
my friend sponsored a full weding in a bnei brak hall to celebrate a thanks to hashem…….that might b an idea…. & then make a melave malka for your good friends…. Mazel Tov! U sound like a very generous couple! Biz 120 gezunterheit
very shocked that nobody commented on mrs levertov # 34
why the whole fuss, just give the money . and Mazal Tov
This is a great idea…don’t listen to any negative comments..!!
But wouldn’t necesaraliy want to pay $50…… also dont live in NY but if i did i would go!!
if you want other people to come you can’t make it only about you there needs to be some form of entertainment etc. or the like
i dont think people would come or donate. i think instead the function would cost 4k donate it straight out instead. i think busy people dont have the time and if they do would learn a sicha read a story to their kids ect.
Make a party to celebrate this incredible milestone with your family and close friends and make a nice contribution to the school. ULY of Crown street is in need of expanding their school and need the funds for it. There are kids on waiting lists because they just dont have room for them. If you and other people of our community would make a nice contribution to United Lubavitch Yeshiva of Crown Street, lots more children could have an amazing jewish education that they need.
Agree with #4!!
As such I would do as #34 or #36.
Mazal Tov! Hashem should give you another 50 to celebrate!
people are saying here that the party is not nescessary.
Of course the party is nescessary! You are teaching people to celebrate in a new way, with giving Tzedoka and they need to be present at the celebration so they will remember and do the same. Such a farbrengen is a wonderful exercise in Chinuch! There will be funds as well afterwards.
Mazal Tov and wishing you many many more occasions for such wonderful ideas and simchas!
if you keep this going you will iy’h have thousands of comments.. Remember two Jews three shuls.. ? We are an interesting people. So you will have all those in favor attending cause they gave their blessings and thus became your partner in the affair and all the “nay” sayers will not attend cause you did not accept their advice………..On and on it goes…………. It’s a positive thing and a good thing and an amazing milestone for you – so GO FOR IT!!! You are encouraging others to do for others and that is worth way more than the dollars… Read more »
our schools are growing and have no space donate a classroom and the children will forever be learning in your zchus
Making such a party would cost a lot of money that can otherwise be donated directly to Tzedaka. Make a nice party with your family and friends and donate what you would have spent on such an event directly to KSCVK. I liked the idea another person mentioned of sponsoring a complete wedding on the day of your anniversary or nearby that would be an incredibly beautiful thing.
If u really want to have a big zechus donate to mikvaos that r building now. Both mi kvas r struggling to accomadate our growing neighborhood, there aren,t enough rooms. This is THE most important miztva as u can even sell a sefer torah to pay for it!
I agree with those saying donate the food $ to KSCVK imagine dancing at a wedding where the couple couldn’t pay at all, imagine they don’t know who paid. That would be a real Simcha and Hakoros hatov to Hashem. Mazeltov to you and your family.
This is Something great that the community needs!
Sounds like a nice idea. I dont think it will work in a community as ours! There r so many evenings to go out of the house for. This is a private anniversary party that should be celebrated by your children and friends. U can give tzedaka to devora benjamin. Very appropriate for this occasion. All the brochos should be mekuyem. Mazel tov to u.
Why don’t u just buy lots of tickets to the KSCVK auction and maybe ull win some prizes while ur add it
I think ur children shud make u a private party and u shud give the $5,000 to KSCVK
If u want ppl to give money in ur zechus u cud put on col and ask ppl to give 50 cents to tzeddakah
If its all about #50 can I give 50 pennies
U won’t make a big enough profit
And ur supposed to give tzeddakah privately
It won’t work
To everybody that is saying, “its beautiful” “lovely idea” love it”, DONT, because you wouldnt go anyway!
But realistically, I have to agree with ur children
First, the cost ull be spending will be more then u actually raise
Second, i don’t think anyone would come beside for ur family
Good luck
Don’t get me wrong it’s a nice idea but just give the money to tzeddakah because it won’t work realistically
Great idea!!
What a beautiful idea! Let all see the joy and happiness ( hard work) behind a marriage of 50 years. No need a gala event
May Hashem Bless you with only good. I would love to join
Give the money this party would cost to kscvk and make a private party with your family
love the idea, but i don’t think u shld do it. if u want to discuss it, call me and i will explain.
i will give dvora $50 now in your honor, even if i don’t know who you are……mazel tov.
it’s ok to put whatever price you choose to for this event. about the turnout..it depends who you are and where you will be making this. If you allow people to pay whatever they choose, you will end up with a losing situation
love the idea – mazel tov –
however, dont think i’d set a price on what someone should pay to come – ie – for me -at this time $50 is not in my budget nor are a lot of things — would be best if you want the community to celebrate – let everyone give what they can
just my 2c
I have to say I agree with #4. Making a nice party costs big bucks. If you donate the $ you would have spent to Devorah you will have the mitzvah with no headache. Your children and grandchildren should host a family party. My mother threw a huge bash for her big number birthday which her children paid for. guests all made donations to a charity account she set up specifically to help her grandchildren on Shlichus. They got very nice amounts which helped them, as Mom didn’t need useless gifts and this was much more meaningful to her. We… Read more »
Beautiful idea. I would go just because you we’re the first to think of it and make this kind of effort. Otherwise, like others wrote, for people to spend $50 on an evening that isn’t really “going out” some would rather just give it to tzedaka or the event has to have some sort of attraction.
Just one important question: how many people paying $50 need to come in order to break even??
Mazeltov!!
It’s a great idea!!! I just think the amount is a lot.. Just remember tishrei just finished for all of us whoever it is weather we had guest or not it was a big expense…. Lets just say especially for those who served a lot at my table for each meal. It was not cheap. I just think each one should decide… I’d like to take this opportunity to give you a Brocha… May you both continue to recieve hashems Brochos beshafa! May you be happy and healthy until 180!! May you have lots of nachas from each other, your… Read more »
but I love the idea.
you brought tears to my eyes amazing such a nice idea hashem should only bless u both with only brochos
you should donate the cost of the money you would spend to sponsor the party to pay for a couple getting married on or as close to the day of your anniversary; that’s what we have done and it is very rewarding and feels great each time .
Cool idea but the cost should be lowered maybe $25 if its not fleshigs that should be possible.
A big fancy melave malka will cost $$$, and most of the cover charge will be needed to cover the costs, with little left over for KSCVK. How about getting local vendors to sponsor the event, and don’t make it grandoise. I would be willing to pay $50, even if there was just rolls to wash on, a choice of soups, and salads such as egg, tuna, potato and pasta. Keep it parve, or you may loose some guests who are still fleishig. And at the end, bring out a big mazaltov cake for you and your spouse. 50 years… Read more »
Perhaps you can get others to give amounts equivalent to the years they are married so they feel like they are celebrating their own anniversaries as well.
Tzedaka must come b’sever panim yaffah. if they make a event and 400 come, they got 400 to give to tzedaka.. with joy.
Great “hakoras tov” to the “third partner – HaKodosh Boruch hu”, while providing an opportunity to give merit to those coming to celebrate with you by contributing to an organization that assists in forging and building future homes in Yisroel. Multiples of $50 sounds good.
Mazel tov and many more happy healthy years filled with much nachas from all.
It’s a great idea, and hopefully many people can learn from it. However, you must have some kind of entertainment for the event to make people pay that Price. Like comedy or music or anything else kscvk sees fit.
Mazel Tov to you and your housband, may you have many more happy and healthy years together
I think you will raise an equal amount or more if you just give the money directly do Devorah Benjamin. An event worth inviting people to will cost you $15-20,000 including hall, music, catering, etc. You will need 3-400 people to donate $50 to cover that. You will only be able to raise that if you have that many close friends and family or if you mount a very time consuming, energy zapping campaign to get strangers to come. But be aware that if more people come, it will cost you more… How about you ask your friends to donate… Read more »
it would be a very nice thing to spend ur anniversary bhelping others ………………………… however dont make the event all about you just make it as melave malka supporting ksvck and as a side popint tghat you sponsored it in honor of your anniversary.
the amount of the donation should be up to each individual divsable or multiples of fifty if that fifty nu. should be expressed(25.00 or 5.00 or 100 etc)
is very good i love t