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Friday, 5 Adar II, 5784
  |  March 15, 2024

‘Biggest Addiction in Frum World’

Arnie Wexler, one of the foremost experts on compulsive gambling, says gaming is one of the "biggest addictions" in the frum world. Video

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For # 21
July 31, 2013 12:40 am

Find yourself an alanon meeting.

SENSITIVE CONNECTIONS book for #21,etc.
July 28, 2013 2:13 am

SENSITIVE CONNECTIONS book is in some Jewish bookstores and on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, until joining a program

Nobody really cares
July 26, 2013 1:01 am

Not all people who play cards are gamblers and not all people who use drugs, or like some people like to call it “shmootz”, are drug addicts. Not all people that don’t use drugs are not drug addicts. It’s a personality type that was usually triggered by certain events and conditionings that led the person to use whatever to not deal. It’s a coping mechanism, or as some would like to call it; a medication. Anything in life can be used in the wrong way. I know many people that their regular 9-5 would be considered a drug. I too… Read more »

to #2
July 25, 2013 4:58 pm

Don’t just say stuff without thinking. Gambling addictions start for various reasons some for the need to make money like you said,there are others which are addicted to gambling purely for the thrill and i’m talking about millionaires they will tell you they do it for the feeling of taking a risk even though they don’t need the money at all.

Mr Arnie Wexler
July 25, 2013 2:20 pm

For those who are interested in reaching Mr Wexler directly
can call us at The JRC at 561 450 5503

thank you to #8
July 25, 2013 1:33 pm

i needed to read everything you wrote. i’m a marijuana addict too. i just don’t want to put it down. i have so much personal pain that i justify my frequent smoking. i’m a parent too, with 6 kids B”H

Either way
July 25, 2013 12:33 pm

You need to be super smart to count cards, someone should tell than to rain man. He nearly bankrupt a casino.

maybe since eveyone got so sensitive
July 25, 2013 12:09 pm

It says here we should work in teams.

It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win.
July 25, 2013 12:04 pm

Most frum people simply do not have the ability to understand addictions. We let our judgementalness take over and collectively arrive at our own conclusions.

Love,
Former gambler

Risk averse?
July 25, 2013 10:50 am

Unfortunately, some people are addicted to risk. There is a feeling of power or specialness in thinking you somehow beat the system.

I have a brother who unfortunately thinks this way. No regard for consequences; I can’t figure out if he either doesn’t comprehend or simply doesn’t care.

#14 and #17
July 25, 2013 9:45 am

There’s no such thing as a worse addiction; it depends on the person. A gambling addiction can be just as damaging to the person and the family as substance abuse or a “shmutz” addiction. At the end of the day, and addiction is an addiction, there is no better or worse. And, sadly, gambling doesn’t get as much publicity because people don’t think it’s “that bad”, well let me tell you, It IS “that bad.” Gamblers love the rush of not knowing if their going to win and have a lot of on the line and that releases dopamine. This… Read more »

to post #21
July 25, 2013 8:42 am

there is an organization called safe foundation in brooklyn, here is the link to there website.
http://www.thesafefoundation.org/

Schooling
July 25, 2013 12:22 am

They gamble to get $ to pay yeshiva

GA meetings
July 24, 2013 11:56 pm

Gamblers Anonymous meetings are were to start. Gamanon meetings for the wife of a compulsive gambler. It is crucial to support emotionaly while going to these meetings. It is very difficult to succeed without a proper support system in place. Never bail out a compulsive gambler. It will enable him to get worse with his addiction. Slowly the drum world are accepting of the 12 step programs and recovery. In the past people would look up to active gamblers but look down at the ones going to meetings trying to build a better life. I applaud this great article which… Read more »

post 21
July 24, 2013 10:43 pm

You can call the Jewish Recovery Center
@5614505503

To 21:
July 24, 2013 10:34 pm

nycalanon.org would be a great place for you to find the help you need. There are plenty of frum women and men in all 12 step programs. Rabonim advise that it is permissible to go in to a church to attend a meeting. What can be bigger proof to the severity of the disease of addiction? Best of luck through your trying times!

FOR # 21 & OTHERS WHO ARE SUFFERING
July 24, 2013 10:16 pm

If you click on the link right under the video (JewishRecoveryCenter.com) it will take you to their homepage – when you click on “Contact” you will see both a phone number & an email address to contact Rabbi Kessler. Rabbi Kessler could certainly also give you contact info for Arnie Kessler who seems to live in New Jersey. Write to the Rebbe tonight for a brocha & GO FOR IT !!!!

Where to find the right help?
July 24, 2013 9:54 pm

Going thru this now. Can someone post real info about where to get help for double addiction (alchohol and gambling). Who to call, talk to, etc. I am the spouse drowning and don’t know where to turn.

to #5
July 24, 2013 9:31 pm

blaming others is a very strong component of addiction. it’s a common mistake to say kol hakavod or to call saints/tzadikim those who go on and on suffering with an addicted family member.in fact they’re inabelers and are helping no one.

to #2
July 24, 2013 9:25 pm

it’s not all about the money. i grew up with a gambling addicted farther and what it’s really about,as with all addiction,is the rush.

to #17
July 24, 2013 9:06 pm

You are right that in essence the 2 addictions you mentioned are more damaging, but i think the point he is trying to make is that those 2 addictions are more deplorable. When someone has either of those problems, the demand for them to get help of more clear and universal. It’s a no brainier as no women would stay married to such a man with such a bad habit. But gambling is not seen as such a grave and destructing addiction and spouses tend to relate to it in a more mild manner (maybe hoping that he will win… Read more »

better than other addiction
July 24, 2013 8:44 pm

Drug addictions and shmutz addictions are a heck of a lot worse. Not that two wrongs make a right but just sayin

Chinese Auctions
July 24, 2013 7:53 pm

i wonder if he knows about all the chinese auctions that go on in CH. If he did would they top his list? For some, it’s a good opportunity to give Tzedaka but for others it’s a way to spend lots of money they don’t have in the hopes of winning a new Sheitel that they can’t afford. Hey, at least with gambling you can win some real cash!

to #3
July 24, 2013 7:36 pm

And what were you doing there??

Drinking
July 24, 2013 5:37 pm

I know gambling is a major problem, but drinking and smoking are far bigger and worse.

To 3
July 24, 2013 5:34 pm

What a weird comment. What were YOU doing there? Why do you think its more OK for you to be there than that guy … or his wife?

to # 5
July 24, 2013 4:49 pm

You need Al-Anon which is for family members.No, u did not cause nor cure anyone with an addiction.They need to want recovery as much as they want to drink, gamble, etc. A woman who stays with a destructive partner at the expense of her children and future is simply co-dependent and addicted to her spouse with the addiction.I can understand being supportive and caring but if he/she cannot help themselves, then it is time to rescue YOURSELF and your Family!!!!!!That’s the healthy thing to do so don’t applaud women who stay with “sickness”.!!

Truth
July 24, 2013 4:27 pm

It’s not illegal, It’s just frowned upon like Yankelating on an airplane

Gambling
July 24, 2013 4:20 pm

Our sages have always looked down at gambling. – According to Mishna, people who gamble are unfit to serve as witnesses in a Jewish court. -In Gemara Sanhedrin there is a debate about whether gambling is a form of theft, for the loser never really anticipates parting with his money and never really accepts the loss. -The same Gemara posits that gamblers contribute nothing of value to society, and for that reason alone, should not be looked at kindly. Point is, gambling of all sorts – whether horse-racing, poker, slots, day-trading, excessive lottery playing etc, has always been frown upon… Read more »

Get on the bus
July 24, 2013 4:12 pm

Just look at the number of Chinese auctions that occur in the frum world and in Lubavitch specifically. Now there are even auctions for children to buy the tickets themselves. This is also a pernicious form of gambling. But somehow these auctions are considered acceptable because they raise money for institutions.

THANK YOU COL FOR POSTING THIS
July 24, 2013 3:58 pm

I Am a Marijuana addict.
I was stoned for about 4 and a half years.
I hit my rock bottom and BH found Marijuana Anonymous.
My Life has changed for the good BH. i have been sober for the past two years plus. I am a father of four Bh.
People really don’t understand the concept of Addiction. addiction is a disease. people are addicted to many different things and they don’t have control over it until they recognize that it’s a real problem. To all you addicts, Remember, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

to number 6
July 24, 2013 3:46 pm

relax. the answer is yes. the stock market is another form of gambling. noone will deny that (unless they are in serious denial). mr wexler will definitely not deny that…

A QUESTION FOR MR.WEXLER
July 24, 2013 1:46 pm

Do the experts recognize that stock trading / day trading is also gambling ? Families are destroyed, homes are lost, and the gambler is in total denial because ” it’s only stocks” so they think it’s kosher. If the computer is always on following the markets , if the mortgage and the food isn’t being paid for because every spare dollar goes into the next big stock, then wake up and smell the coffee.- you’re an addict & get help today, for your sake & for the sake of your family.

Ex wife of compulsive gambler
July 24, 2013 1:00 pm

12 step Meetings are crucial for recovery. If the guy doesn’t keep his 3 meetings a week he will relapse continue lying stealing etc. personally I still have feelings for my ex and would’ve stayed with him had he not blamed me for his addiction and skip meetings.he never lasted too long in Ga. How can a woman live this way?! Never knowing where ur husband is, having him run back to Atlantic city also known as “sin city” every time he is ticked off or mad. Like Arnie said its a secret but destroying addiction. Kol HAKOVOD to any… Read more »

miami
July 24, 2013 12:36 pm

Good news ! i know of someone who spends nights in a casino.

i was in atlantic city
July 24, 2013 12:16 pm

and saw a chassidish man (looked like he was from Boro Park or Williamsberg) and HIS WIFE there at the casino! was a bit surprised to see her there.

It's All About The Money!!
July 24, 2013 12:06 pm

It’s not an ‘addiction’ to gambling, otherwise they could gamble for fun or for prizes. It’s about getting the money!!! Face it. Yidden worship cash! Remember the Golden Rule: The one with the gold, rules!!!

not surprised
July 24, 2013 12:04 pm

Apparently, private poker parties are all over the place round here. Add to that the “glamor” of a Lubavitcher winning close to half a million dollars in a poker competition & everyone wants to jump on the bandwagon & make a fortune. We have a serious problem with gambling, which begs the question….are some of the families in CH we are asked to help in financial trouble because of gambling? If so, it’s really bad.

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