Feb 10, 2013
Tonight: Dealing with "Control"
Tonight, Adai Ad presents an empowering lecture on recognizing potentially controlling behaviors and attitudes during dating and early marriage for bochurim.
On Feb 10, 30 Shevat, Adai Ad presents.... Recognizing potentially controlling behaviors and attitudes during dating and early marriage with Dovid Kohn, LCSW, CASAC and Rabbi Levi Garelik.
This session is relevant to bochurim, young married men and those who want to learn more so that they can be a support to someone who is in this situation.
In a 'please do not include my last name' email to Adai Ad, Menachem X painfully described the details of his debilitating fear of his controlling wife. He is excited about Adai Ad’s programs that provide the necessary tools and insights to assure a successful marriage. He writes, "If you help prevent even one case of an abusive marriage, you are saving so much tzaar. But honestly, I think that there are quite a few cases of such abusive marriages, and I know that workshops like the one Adai Ad has presented for women last week [about recognizing controlling behaviors - see here], and the one planned for Feb 10 will make a difference."
With clarity of hindsight, Menachem now sees that had he known what to look for he could've spotted it during dating. Or he at least nipped it in early marriage. Unfortunately he missed both opportunities. He commends Adai Ad for bringing this important workshop to Crown Heights.
This workshop is not about scaring people about marriage, as much as providing the awareness and tools to recognize that this really does happen – even to very good people. And to empower young people to deal accordingly if they feel this might be what is going on in their lives.
Awareness in empowering! Education and awareness of these behaviors and attitudes, which sometimes can be detected early, is an important tool for daters. It is also important for those who are in early marriage to be able to recognize if this is becoming a pattern in their marriage, and to know how to deal with it early, and to whom they can turn.
No plans to be in an abusive relationship. And (almost) no one plans to be a controlling spouse. In many cases, she or he may not even realize that their behaviors and attitudes are detrimental to their marriage. Learning what controlling behaviors look like and how those behaviors are perceived by the spouse is also important when setting up a marriage. This will also be addressed in this session.
Dovid Kohn, LCSW, CASAC will describe the profile and some of the tactics of abusive spouses and explain various warning signals of potentially controlling relationships that may surface during the dating process or early in marriage. Dovid Kohn is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Addictions Counselor, and is a Clinical Supervisor at The Safe Foundation, Inc. He has done important work in the frum community, including working with cases from the Crown Heights and Lubavitch community.
Rabbi Levi Garelik will address the crowd with a Dvar Torah. Rabbi Garelik has dealt with unfortunately too many cases of controlling spouses and domestic abuse.
This event will be held at the Rubashkin residence at 1349 President Street, Sunday, February 10, 8:00 pm. Suggested donation $5.
The Adai Ad Institute, co-founded by Moshe and Faigie Rubashkin and Devora Krasnianski, was established to provide programming and education to strengthen marriages and ease the Shidduchim process. To find out more, visit adaiad.org