Dec 19, 2012
Pre-Dating Course to Launch
Illustration photo. Individuals pictured have no connection to the article

With the shidduch process ever complex, a new pre-dating course for bochurim and girls will begin in the next few weeks.

Adai Ad

Every day, more and more young Chabad adults are getting involved in Shidduchim, yet it seems like it's only getting harder. Years ago, Shidduchim was simpler. The whole world was less complicated, less nuanced, and shidduchim seemed to go smoother than they do these days.

With all that is going on in the world around us these days, today, more than ever before, many young people are concerned that their marriages should be successful. They are seeking to take a proactive and responsible approach to their marriages. They are looking to learn about all it takes to have a successful marriage – from the dating stage when the relationship begins, and then through the rest of their lives.

The first of its kind, 'First Points' is a pre-dating course offered by the Adai Ad Institute offered for young bochurim post-shlichus and girls post-seminary, separately.

The program provides tools and perspectives that will strengthen their marriages. It also serves as a helpful tool to navigate the shidduchim process.

The Institute was co-founded by Moshe and Faigie Rubashkin and Devora Krasnianski to strengthen marriages and ease the Shidduchim process.

The very name of the program, Adai Ad, expresses the vision: from the outset, marriages should be built to last forever and ever. Beginning with its signature 'First Points' course, the Adai Ad Institute hopes to grow and offer other Shidduchim and marriage related services.

This Motzoei Shabbos, December 22 at 7:30 PM, will be a 'First Points' Open Workshop for bochurim at the Besht Center, 510 Empire Blvd. in Crown Heights.

Select points and tools from the course will presented and presenters will answer any questions related to the program. This event is at no cost and is not a commitment to join the course. Please RSVP at info@adaiad.org.

A similar program for young women will take place in the next few weeks, email info@adaiad.org for more information. Read more about the course here.

The ‘First Points’ course is loaded with important information including the stages in a relationship, especially important in dating. It also includes practical dating guidance including a comprehensive resource entitled 'possible topics of conversation', how to ask productive questions and how and what to share about oneself. 'First Points' also covers 'what to know before committing to marriage'.

Participants also learn new perspectives and mindsets about successful marriage, including communication, appreciation, expectations, being proactive for your marriage.

The course also provides a series of series of exercises through which participants can become more aware of themselves (and what they can still work on), and as a result become clearer on what they need in a spouse.

Presented in 8 sessions, the FIRST POINTS course is structured and organized to address many important aspects of preparing for successful marriage. Small groups, in a round table format, make for a comfortable and sensitive environment. Because participants are assured of confidentiality, they feel comfortable talking about these issues.

Created through countless conversations with young Lubavitchers, parents, mashpi'im, mashpios, and professionals, the course was built with real hard data, real stories, and real experiences.

Visit our website to see more: www.adaiad.org

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Opinions and Comments
1
FANTASTIC IDEA!!!
As a parent who has a son of the right age, I want him to attend. Now I just have to convince him that going to listen doesn't mean he's getting engaged, or even going out yet. But I want him to understand what marriage is all about and how to prepare for dating.

Who is giving the presentations? I'd love Shea Hecht or Manis Friedman to be involved.
(12/19/2012 6:49:25 PM)
2
UMM
THATS NOT THE PROBLEM
ITS THE DUE DILIGENCE THAT THE PARENTS DO FOR THEIR SON OR DAUGHTER.
YOU CAN GET A 20 MIL BANK LOAN WITH LESS DUE DILIGENCE
(12/19/2012 7:06:45 PM)
3
Great idea!
As a parent of married children, I can only say that I wish they
had something like this when my children were dating. I feel
it is very important to have chassidishe mashpiim and mechachos involved and encouraging our bochurim and girls to attend
(12/19/2012 7:21:56 PM)
4
Incredible!
Such an amazing idea! I was hoping for such a thing to happen one day!!
thank you!!
(12/19/2012 8:11:32 PM)
5
Suggestion
This is a great idea. Every innovation is another tool. How about taping the classes so that people outside of CH can benefit, similar to the format used by CHYE.
(12/19/2012 8:13:13 PM)
6
Mushka
Many of us out-of-towners or on shlichus girls would love to participate in these lessons.
anyway to make it available to us?
(12/19/2012 8:40:42 PM)
7
Survey?
why does it send you to a "thanx for taking a survey" page?
(12/19/2012 8:43:51 PM)
8
Go mrs kraz
!!
(12/19/2012 8:47:40 PM)
9
Fan of the course
Go Devory Krasniansky!! Always coming up with great programs!
(12/19/2012 8:47:53 PM)
10
call in
I think that there are MANY MANY bochurim and girls that could benefit from this but will not come. can there be a call in conference number, where they can call in and remain anonymous?
(12/19/2012 9:04:15 PM)
11
If it's anything like the girls course!
My cousin attended the girls course and she was a transformed girl! I saw an immature young girl mature in a short span of a few weeks, she was thoughful and mature in her questions and discussion that we had after each class. Before when she was dating she was unwilling to discuss anything about it being that she knew everything. It's amazaing to see how maturely she dates now after the course. It's not only the course but also that the teacher is ready to speak to her whenever she needs to discuss something. Yasher Koyach to Adei Ad!!!
(12/19/2012 9:26:44 PM)
12
PART OF YESHIVA/ SMICHA CIRRICULUM
As a founder and administrator of a thriving Smicha Program for ages 18 & up I will strongly endorse this prorgram and would like to suggest that for each & every yeshiva or Smicha program starting @ age 17 and up (as per the Rabbonim rec. that our bachurim start dating & preparing for marriage earlier) THIS SHOULD BE AN ABSOLUTE PRIORITY, building strong and stable relationships can apply to the bachur's mother, sisters, aunt, grandmother..eventually, their wife. And what is more important than Sholom Bayis, especially in these turbulent times?? When there will be sholom in our homes there will be sholom in the world=Moshiach.
(12/19/2012 9:40:27 PM)
13
yes!
Fantastic idea! But agree i would like to have Shea hecht involved.He is very real and practical and has some very helpful an sensible skills and tools for our dating children.
(12/19/2012 9:43:30 PM)
14
If the class was mixed...
...that might take care of the shidduch problem :)
(12/19/2012 9:55:32 PM)
15
number 14
brilliant.
(12/19/2012 10:11:40 PM)
16
at #14
lol:)
(12/19/2012 10:16:33 PM)
17
call in please
Please can you arrange a call in for people outside of ch? There can be some sort of registration form prior to the class but please make it available.
(12/19/2012 10:32:52 PM)
18
A big part of this is just davening
Pray and pray
Ask Hashem for Guidance
You cant get engaged today without HUGE Siyata Dishmaya!
(12/19/2012 10:33:24 PM)
19
#14
True but we need a bigger change in the system.
(12/19/2012 10:39:54 PM)
20
#14
Agreed!!
(12/19/2012 10:50:12 PM)
21
#14
haha, agreed!
(12/19/2012 11:12:28 PM)
22
Go Devora
There is such a huge need for this, thank you for filling that need. All beginnings are hard but this makes so much sense and thank you for providing this to Chabad.
(12/19/2012 11:35:41 PM)
23
mike b
dating earlier , due diligence what is this a business deal u are talking about two people that need Hashem's Brocha not a bank statement u pay for the rest of your life! yes be involved, yes ask and "do diligence " but people need to remember that it is people , person ...personable ..without all the pressure hatzlocha and with Hashems brocha guta shiduchim
(12/19/2012 11:51:36 PM)
24
opinion from girl
This sounds like a nice idea, but seems to me that this is for people new to dating. Is that so? Personally, I'd feel silly joining this being that I've been on the scene for a bit... Will it be informative to us as well- who feel like we've been there done that already...
(12/20/2012 12:09:37 AM)
25
attendance
We as singles are thankful that this is being arranged for us but many of us would not attend such a gathering. Is there a way we can possibly have a web connection live for the event? Thanks!
(12/20/2012 12:13:49 AM)
26
I'm not in crown heights
Can there please be a web video or call in number???? Please please!!
(12/20/2012 12:23:32 AM)
27
how?
I am a smicha buchor who's interested but I am to embarrassed can I get a recording
(12/20/2012 12:37:51 AM)
28
fan
all these are great ideas: tele- conference, live web viewing, i'm sure Mrs K will consider them.

I think even seasoned daters can benefit from these classes and it will open new perspectives for them, this is an amazing well thought out course that includes lots of info for dating and marriage al pi Torah
(12/20/2012 12:52:24 AM)
29
to#23
"dating earlier , due diligence what is this a business deal u are talking about two people that need Hashem's Brocha not a bank statement u pay for the rest of your life!"

Lol.
(12/20/2012 8:14:25 AM)
30
please
can there be a conference call for out of towners? or for anyone who wants to be annonymous? thanks!
(12/20/2012 10:01:13 AM)
31
Adai Ad team responds to comments
Thank you for your comments and support. We are getting feedback that this course is addressing a real need in the community.
We learn best from your comments and suggestions, and thus we welcome them.

Response to some of the comments posted:

Long Distance Learning – That is in the plans. If you are interested in helping us set this up, we may get this aspect started even sooner. Please email us at info@adaiad.org

Applicable to all stages of dating – The material is definitely relevant to anyone interested in gaining tools and mindsets for a strong marriage, no matter the dating experience. This particular course is designed for bochurim of the ages 21-25. We will, IYH, plan programming for other age ranges and experiences. Look out for these courses in the future.

Private groups – You can get together your own group of friends and we can provide the course for your group. Please email us at info@adaiad.org

Embarrassed to join in person - We understand the sensitivity that some people may feel, and have tried to design the program to maintain privacy. The classes are held in small groups, in a private setting. More importantly, the course is designed so that no one has to share anything personal. At the same time, there is much to be gained from a small group setting, including learning from each other’s questions, being able to review the new concepts with others, and meeting the presenters and Adai Ad staff in person.

If you have any other questions, please email us at info@adaiad.org
(12/20/2012 12:00:49 PM)
32
JUST GO OUT
INSTEAD OF THE 1000'S OF QUESTION THE PARENTS ASK,JUST LET THEM GO OUT
(12/20/2012 12:37:56 PM)
33
Divorced Dating
A course address single people who were previously married and have children would be great as well.
(12/20/2012 1:21:45 PM)
34
To#32
They are afraid of that remember.
(12/20/2012 1:25:13 PM)
35
Fantastic. some future suggestions
1. A mini-course for parents. How the "system" works. When research becomes a roadblock. How do I know when my young adult is ready to date?
2. Additional course topics on household economics. Setting up a budget, balancing a checkbook, securing a lease, how to find a job
3. Additional topics on special circumstances: dating after divorce; dating when older;
(12/20/2012 1:46:09 PM)
36
on line
there are on-line programs where you can raise questions. shimona tzukernik has the info on how to do that. think this should be as open as possible. pay in advance. many couples are struggling and would like to lend an ear too.
(12/20/2012 4:26:03 PM)
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