The reason I sit here today to write this article is not to bring out anything new that people don’t know. The points that will be mentioned are all obvious ones. But as an example-hold your hand close up to your face and try count the lines on it – you won’t be able to. Only if you move your hand further away, will the lines become clearer and therefore possible to count.
The obvious is not always so clear and in this particular case, that was the situation for me and I feel like it may be the same for others too. I am hoping that this will be an eye opener to girls like myself, school girls, post sem etc and all those that go through the following struggle. I hope that this article will have an effect and inspire them too. . The intention is not to criticise anyone, but simply my thoughts and opinions that will hopefully draw attention and like mentioned, inspiration. Please read until the end of the article to get the right idea.
I am a 20 year old girl F.F.B. (frum from birth), who was brought up in a Lubavitch family. I went through the whole ‘system’, from Lubavitch nursery all through to seminary, followed by working on shlichus whilst working at an office and studying for a qualification in a frum environment. On the surface, I am just another Lubavitch girl with my own struggles.
I can safely describe myself as a girl who is trying to be ma’alin bakodesh, not letting a day in my life go by without davening Shacharis, Mincha and Maariv, as well as learning chittas. My struggle that I face with every day is tznius.
The struggle is not that I wish I was able to dress in non-tznius clothing as such. I struggle with the ‘borderline’ markings; making sure my knees are covered when I sit, ensuring my collarbone is always 100% covered, and the like. This is my personal fight that I’m very aware of, and work on on a daily basis. Boruch Hashem my work is paying off and I am seeing improvement. However, life is about progress and work and good does not defeat evil overnight.
What always bothered me though, was to walk down the street and sense a glare from a mother or two in the community. Or to be told by the director of the Bnos Chabad program that I run that she received a phone call saying “Her hair is not what a Bnos Chabad leaders should look like…her neck line was slightly low today.”
Two different thoughts came to mind after being told about those phone calls. Firstly, on the one hand, I know that clothing does express a person’s personality and their middos. But at the same time, there’s a concept of not judging, dan lechaf zechus (you can not judge a book by it’s cover). I found that as quite a contradiction. Secondly,a chassid always has their struggles.
Can they not see that I am aware of my faults in tznius and that I’m working on it? I felt resentful towards the community around me. How can the adults be so close-minded and so quick to focus on the negativity? It hurt, it really did.
It was later, during a farbrengen on a Shabbaton I organised for one of the older classes in high school, that I decided to bring up my above-mentioned thoughts to the guest Rabbi.
“A girl I know struggles on specific levels of tznius. She is aware of what needs to be fixed and is working on it. Yes, it is understood that clothing does reflect ones middos , but doesn’t the concept of dan lechaf zechus apply? Why is it that when it comes to tznius, it seems that people disregard that and automatically make assumptions about people based on the way they are dressed?”
I hold the Rabbi’s answer as my motto today; it was truly amazing:
We can cry and scream at the world around us about how people can be so insensitive and point fingers at every wrong person. But what is it going to change? It most definitely is NOT going to change those you are frustrated with, even though they might be wrong in whatever they are doing. What will help the situation is when ‘I’ change. ‘I’ just have to work harder to prevent those people from viewing what they see – how can ‘I’ become a better person? How can ‘I’ work harder on my tznius for them to see it more clearly?
His answer brought to mind the saying: “Everyone wants to change the world, but no one is willing to change themselves.” It’s a concept that can be applied to everything in life. Before we start pointing fingers at others, it might be better stop and think how we can change ourselves, thereby changing the scenario and the way people see us.
When you point a finger at others, there are three fingers pointing back at you. We will become better people by taking comments from others as constructive criticism and acknowledging that there is room for change-moving away from our self love and ego. This concept also helped me realize that saying your chittas and davening will not redeem you for not being tznius. Tznius is what people see.
I have since taken that inspiration from that Friday night farbrengen and put it into practice I’ve seen such a change in not only my personality, but in my positivity towards the community as well. The negative phone calls regarding my tznius have changed to positive calls regarding my work with Bnos Chabad. It’s heart warming.
I’d like to end off with a personal story. I recently took upon myself to write a letter to the Rebbe every moitzei shabbos. Recently, I concluded a letter by writing about my struggle with tznius, which of course still exists in some form.I wrote that I was worried the bnos chabad girls I work with may get the wrong impression when they see me as a leader, and that maybe I should take a break to allow myself to focus on fixing the flaws I still have.
I placed my letter into “The Letters and the Spirit,” selected and arranged by Nissan Mindel. The response I received shocked me. (For those that have the book at home, the letter is on page 515 to read in detail.) In brief, the letter began with the Rebbe saying that he would like to mention the concluding point letter (which was shocking as it was a point mentioned right at the end) on the struggle on Yiddishkeit mentioned.
The Rebbe wrote that the struggle shouldn’t stop me from helping others who need my help as they cannot wait until I get around to helping myself. Helping others, the Rebbe said, may very well come to helping myself. The Rebbe went on to write that a chossid always has his/her own struggles and should always be yearning to go higher…
It was unbelievable to receive a response from the Rebbe that was so crystal clear. It was spiritually uplifting.
Finally, I’d like to mention to the adults of the community. When criticizing the girls in your communities, even those who you may be close to, say it in a kind and caring manner. When we see that you are criticizing us because you care we are quicker to accept your words and make changes in our lives.
May we all have the strength to recognize our faults and have the willpower and encouragement from those around us to be able to better ourselves and prepare the world for the coming of Moshiach now!
you sound like someone peolpe look up to. If kids see a role model dressed in jeans, they may want to look like you…
I understand your point, although I don’t see why you should be wearing jeans, if you are such a good bochur, then what would bring you to wear jeans?
and about the people making a show.. ignore them, they’re not worth your time. think about yourself and where you’re standing..
im sorry to say but clothing is not everything i have friends that while i dressed in jeans (o vey chas vlsholom hashem yiracheim) i davened everyday never missed a day helped anyone i can gave tzedaka and overall tried my best i had friends wearing the black pants hat and jacket even all day (you know elite lubavitch) on the inside they were doing drugs not keeping shabbat and overall not good people at all so what does the back hat do BAD it deceives everyone which breaks another halacha of lo sitein michshol lifnei eiver so please explain… Read more »
The difference is, my “struggles” dont cause other people to sin. Do your struggling in private, where you wont spiritually damage others.
Don’t you think people shul be dressed tznius even when going to shul? Are you blind or what!? Maybe in Ahavas Yisroel all the women dress tznius.. I’m not familiar with that shul.. but what about many other shuls?
Respect is not Taliban. Many people are not interested in forming part of the Lubavitch comunity the way the Lubavitcher Rebbe established it but when it comes to using our mosdos or services there they are.. it’s like the erev rav in times of Moses. . You don’t use Hatzolah, Shmirah, schools, Sh
It seems that to many the Rebbe stopped at Chitas and ahavas Yisroel. Go through all the sichos and Igros and you will be shocked to discover the amount of time the Rebbe spent talking and addressing TZNIUS. Yes, that many years ago he thought it important to address this topic so that today we would have what to look back at and see his pain and urge that we follow in the ways of true tznius!! And, to all those brazenly showing part of their hair; we all know good and well what the Rebbe said about that and… Read more »
One point unfortunately missed is that when we don’t daven or are failing in other areas then that effects only each of us. BUT, when we are dressed inappropriately we are causing others to sin too. True, men must have shmiras aynayim but how do you expect us to be Yirai Shomayim if what’s exposed steers us straight in the face. And, when one is dressed inappropriately (even a family member) and I am davening, learning or just making a brocha then it is problematic to say the least. Thank you for a great article that will hopefully be a… Read more »
if you feel you can say your chittas, then kol hakavod! saying chittas refines your neshama and makes you more sensitive and in tune to the halochos. so when someone struggles with something basic in halacha, after a while saying chittas and involving oneself with the Rebbe’s inyonim, one finds oneself more receptive to self improvement, be it a basic halocha (especially one that is such a nisayon in our society) or a hiddur mitzvah.
This article was really very well written and straight from the heart. The author senses it’s importance of tznius and making the time to write something I wouldn;t even be able to put pen to paper. Well done and thnak you – at the rate your going you will definitely reach great heights. and to all those negative comments out there some are very true but why so harsh?
sister,
that was really well written and expressed, i really enjoyed reading and i absolutely agree with everything you wrote.
it makes me as a sibling proed to see you put this up and to see all the feed back.
may you be strong and stronger in what you believe and preach and always be a living example to not only those around you but your family as well
all my love
I think 65 is being very idealistic, Sounds nice, I can see s/he has a point for people who take up a position within the community, hence, a commitment to follow the rules. But practically, is s/he saying that if your address is in CH you have to dress a certain way and if not you have to move out? sounds like taliban to me. You can’t expect to be able to control people like that just because you know their family and you knew them as a child. There’s is a problem in the community. It is not a… Read more »
I will love to hear from people who are not careful about tznius (like myself) what they think when reading #65. I think s/he has a point..
Agree with you. Very good approach.
Dear author, we all have struggles, but not all have the tremendous responsibillity to be the direct influence of those precious young souls.
If you wake up one day with such conlicts, take the day off, DONT GO TO SCHOOL. speak with your mashpia, open a igros,etc. But please dont confuse our children. DO NOT PLANT OTHERS STRUGGLES
I second that! finally someone says it as it is!
Tznius is not the only attribute that defines a Jewish woman. It’s essential, but not the only attribute that defines us.There are many other characteristics that define our Jewishness and femininity such as kindness, strength, inner beauty in addition and together with tznius.
Good Job! Amazing. Wish more people would think like you.
Right on the dot.
cute hiddurim? I beg to differ. can you know where they would be without the chitas and other” cute hiddurim” ? Tznius is of utmost importance and while chitas is not halacha the Rebbe did stress it’s importance greatly. So as long as you don’t know what is going on behind the rebbe’s hiddurim, behind a persons mind and heart don’t ever give anyone instructions to drop “cute hiddurim” as you are treading on dangerous waters.
Do you fall into that category of Shlomo Hamelech?
A healthy person accepts to hear his faults for he is always looking to grow.
A louse blows up at others for it is easier to remain a fool that to work hard and grow.
There is something quite deeply hidden here. Why is it that women, girls get PERSONALLY offended for an issur of our holy Torah they are transgressing? If a woman were to eat a non kosher food for drive on Shabbos and someone told her it was against the Torah, would she get so hurt? So deeply angry? Upset? NO. Of course not. This is so because EVERY WOMAN knows deep in her heart that being modest is EVERYTHING who she is and what she stands for in her role in this earth as a woman and even more so as… Read more »
wow!!! i can say that i personally know the author of this article and she is truly an amazing girl inside and out!!!! amazing article, brings so much inspiration to all of us!!! keep up the good work and just being u 🙂
I was raised in the min-skirt generation, and my secular seeking family never knew the difference. If only you had a clue that you are so blessed with these guidelines, instead of dabbling outside of them. I thank Hashem every day I am going towards this direction and not away. Your steps facing away from what Hashem wants of you will only lead to the next generation giving up more, and so on until there will be nothing left of caring about Yiddishkeit in your future family, even after you’re gone. Is that what you want to create, or do… Read more »
It’s beyond halacha here. . I can understand you may not care about God or you have a big Yetzer Hara.. fine. But a little dignity, respect, mentchlichkeit! don’t be such chutzpah.. your parents and grandparents formed this community for a reason. . There are still people trying to raise normal kids here. You want to share you body with others.. no problem, do it in Hollywood. . Go to Manhattan! This is crown heights – the Rebbe’s shechuna! And why do even teachers here walk around with mini skirts, no socks and their hair half uncovered!!? It’s mamesh a… Read more »
Obvoiusly, everyone has a different idia of what “cool” means. But thats not the issue here…????
Wow, a girl takes the time to write an article that will inspire others to do the right thing and some of the comments that she gets are “to eat chazzar” and being told that it’s not hard to be tziniusdik??? Everyone goes through there own personal struggles and it is not anyone elses place to judge!! What is hard for me might be easy for you and what is easy for me might be hard for you. I think the Rebbe would be very proud of the writer for trying hard to do better and for trying to inspire… Read more »
what’s so hard to dress tzniusdik ? there are plenty of nice and up to date things to wear. it makes you feel better or prettier or more attractive when your neckline is lower or your skirt just above the knees?i don’t thing so!
we did it all till not long ago when the crisis started and everyone slowly copied b/c they think it makes them cool .
There are so many women and girls wearing styles of skirts and dresses that don’t cover the knees when they sit. That causes these women and girls to feel that if they wear other styles that do cover their knees when they sit then they will be out of style. For it is more important to be in style than in accordance with halacha in their minds. When “everyone” is doing it, it becomes “okay”. It is not just one person’s struggle. If each woman would start to wear the styles that do cover the knees when sitting, the rest… Read more »
WHAT UPSETS ME, IS THE HAKORSAS HATOV WE ALL HAVE TO HAKODOSH BORUCH HU FOR THE FREEDOM WE HAVE IN THE USA OF AMERICA.
IN EVERY GENERATION WE ARE GIVEN MESIRAS NEFESH STRUGGLES. THANK G-D THESE ARE THE STRUGGLES OF TODAY, WEATHER YOUR SKIRT COVERS YOUR KNEE, WEATHER YOU WEAR AN FULL BEARD, ETC.
BETTER TO UPHOLD THESE SEEMINGLY DIFFICULT HALOCHOS THEN TO CHAS V’SHALOM HAVE THE STRUGGLES OF OUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS.
covering your knees while sitting is not somethiong for a hachloto. its halocho. drop your chitas, stop your davening, stop wasting your inspiration on cute hidurim: become frum!
thanks for your artical some one over seas
before writing for others to understand – understand the halachos! ‘ to many people are trying to change the world without trying to change themselves’ – as you rightly said.
well then I might as well eat chazer, is that what you want?think before you talk. I have no doubt you have your own struggles.
dressing not tznius is the same as eating chazer, and i am tired of people trashing the Rebbe’s shcunah.
Thank you for all the lovely comments, very heart warming to see the community support – and to all the more harsh ones, I thank you too – It is without a doubt that tznius is so important and complete halacha hence me writing this article for others to understand
and why couldnt mother directly approach you? sounds like a very unhealthy almost gossiping community.
Agree wholeheartedly. But isn’t it sad when, like the above, the mechanchos and bnos chabad leaders uphold the standards ‘just for their job’. or just because of ‘ peoples complaints’. When our daughters see them afterwards in a different setting/ country it is all gone? how disconcerting. ‘I struggle with the ‘borderline’ markings; making sure my knees are covered when I sit’ – how shocking that a bnos chabad leader should think that covering knees when sitting is a ‘borderline’?!?! its HALACHA. that must be what is accepted where she is from…again the case of not knowing halachos at all… Read more »
Very well said and expressed and I think your comment should give alot of our girls food for thought; You make so much sense, thanks for posting
I grew up in a lubavitch home and went to a lubavitch elementary school. But, for my 4 years of high school, I attended Bais Yaakov. My tznius was never an issue. Mostly because in the “Bais Yaakov circle” it is not even a question! When you leave the house, your skirt covers your knees (even while you sit), your collar bone is fully covered, you wear tights/stockings, and your hair is neat. The thing about Bais Yaakov (as opposed to Lubavitch) is that the peer pressure is to be tznius! Can you imagine that? I would feel so uncomfortable… Read more »
instead of throwing harsh additional restrictions on women for tznius, explain to them how special and precious they are. and automatically they will want to be dressed like a princess
they will feel like a bas yechida to hashem
chill
it sounds like you never did anything wrong in your life?!
you have done wrong just like everybody in the world.
then, maybe no one can ever trust you?
think about it, dont act holier than thou
I remember when we were able to recognize Beis Yaacov girls from far because their tznius was not up to our level, unfortunately in our community it is now reverse.
I am a mother of sons who are so far chassidish and frum. I don;t take it for granted. Bderech hateva I and my husband are responsible to look for a shidduch for them. If someone mentions a girl who is not dressed according to halacha why would I consider her for my son? Her dress tells me that I can’t trust her in kashrus, taharas hamishpacha or any other halacha that is so important to an akeres habayis. Her chtonius is a reflection to me of her pnimius. The Rebbe says that a girl should dress like a Bais… Read more »
Chitas is not Halachah (as great as it is to keep). Tznius laws are Halachah! They must be adhered to. May we all strive to reach for the high standards expected from us as we await the coming of Moshiach when we will again be reunited with our Rebbe, and be confident of his pride in his Chassidistes! Ein davar ha’omed bifnei haratzon – if we have the ratzon for doing what Halachah dictates, we will have the strength to carry it out to the best of our abilities.
To #31: No, we don’t have the ‘same’ struggles. We know better, and have constant reminders every moment of every day (without input from outsiders). And we have yiddishe keppelach.. To #32 P.S. There is a HUGE difference between a Jew who expresses their personality through the personality of their clothes, and someone who takes off inches of their clothes to expose the ‘personality’ (or lack thereof) of their body. p.s. one reminds me of the character of Yosef haTzaddik, the other is issurei d’oraysa in public all day and ‘makif’ (having an enveloping affect on ones character) and most… Read more »
Did any one ever hear this concept? the Jews received the torah they accepted it as is, why can’t we just do the same?
THIS ARTICLE IS ONE THAT EVERYONE COULD LEARN FROM ! you had (seemingly) valid complaints ,so u asked a mashpia , and he told u (in a nice & acceptive manner) that it was YOU to do the change ! you internalised that with PRIDE ,and went on to advertise it to everyone .THATS THE WAY TO GO ! may u be a lesson for everyone ! MUCH HATSLOCHO ! if we all do the same ,MOSHIACH WILL CERTAINLY BE HERE FAST !
Thank you for writing this article. I think your honest thinking out loud will resonate wih many people and give many of us food for thought, For those that write critical of those you see walking aroung crown heights, I cringe inwardly too when I see so many of our own walking around inappropriately. It definitely hurts. But we can’t be so critical. If for no other reason than that it won’t help the situation any. Noone will cha ge because of harsh critiscm. And ultimately! What you and I and every well meaning person wants is for everyone to… Read more »
Well written sis.
I am so proud of you and you should continue to be successful in all that you do. You are very special who deserves only the best in life.
I grew up in an era when ladies of low breeding walked around with hair curlers and flip flops (or other slippers). We saw them at the grocery, playground, etc. Now in the frum community we have the flip flop, rag on the head look. If someone has some unique reason or deep pathology for dressing like a commercial for a cheap canned dinner, then I am sorry for stepping on your pedicured flip-flopped toes. I look forward to fall when everyone will have to put their clothes back on. Dress tznius and keep America beautiful.
I bless that u this this should be the worst of your problems. Do not care what other people think of you. Be strong and do what is right. Do not focus on other peoples phone calls or gossip. People will always talk.
as a lubavitcher living among non lubavitchers which non of their children “struggle” with tznius because it is part of their chinuch and way of life ,but in lubavitch tznius sounds like a chashidishe shtick for a girl who learns chitas and davens 3 times a day.people with zero chabad chassidus inspiration live with tznius and this is because it is halacha and emphasized strongly .very strongly!but here we have an article of a girls struggle and success .the issue is not singling out anyone or g-d forbid against the author the issue is the very hashkafa and emphasis lacking… Read more »
recently i had a discussion with younger folk and was trying to impress on them the same thing….This is the Rebbe’s Schunah…when i wrote in via english igros later, i received a clear answer to thank me for standing up for Lubavitch, however to not be so hard on others, to accept them as they are.
how ’bout that ?
Dressing a certain way facilitates expressing and reinforcing ‘facets’ of a person. Every person is comprised of different ‘facets’. Someone who is dressed in support of Torah is not necessarily a ‘model citizen’, and Someone who is dressed in contrast to Torah is not necessarily trying to reinforce chaos. However, like ‘garments of the soul’ what we choose to wear (especially on a daily basis) influences our expression and thereby as well our actual identity. Like we’ve learnt ‘mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma’ through doing something not for it’s sake, a person comes to do it for it’s sake. I… Read more »
Wow I am in awe of you. You put thought of us girls into beatiful word
kudos.
With no offence to “a shlucha” and others I think the author brings up a good, general point. Simply said, “mind your own business”. Now you might say, “Crown Heights is MY and MY REBBES community so it IS my business” Well here’s the difference, the general outlook of crown heights is not the fault of that ONE individual that you’re pointing at, judging and rebuking. So, in a sense you’re letting out your anger and dismay at the general outlook of the community, on one girl. Obviously a community is made up of individuals, but, the levels of observance… Read more »
Don’t be so quick to judge CH as being the one to give the Rebbe agmas nefesh. I, a Crown Heightser, was quite surprised to see Shluchos and Shluchim coming for convention dressed totally inappropriately while advertising that they are a direct emissary of our Rebbe. While I would not say anything to anyone dressed wrongly – who am I to judge them – I think if you go by the title Shliach/Shlucha make sure you act like an emissary of the Rebbe in every way. This is not only in matters of dress, but also speech and ACTIONS! What… Read more »
Dear Shlucha, With all due respect, girls in crown heights are just as human as girls you try to help in your own community. We have the same struggles as any other human being, and yes, The Rebbe deserves it all. But firstly, who are you to speak for the Rebbe? Secondly, you have no idea what the so called “girls” weearing the tight skirts or tight tops have been through in their lives. If it sickens you so much, go back to where you came from. Just because you don’t have this particular struggle in your yidishkeit, doesn’t mean… Read more »
People who are not Lubavitch see ONLY what you are wearing. They don’t care of you daven 3 times a day – they will not come any closer to learning even a drop of Chassidus if you don’t work on your Tznius.
I personally am a teenager who BH doesn’t get remarks about her tznius but I do get critism on other things in life, and this article definitely got me thinking. Thank you.
What an amaizing article… U truly inspire us all.. Gonna miss u next year!!! Good luck in everything u do 🙂
When I see people on the street dressed that way, I also feel heartbroken for the Rebbe, for Chabad in general. . The Rebbe is probably heartbroken over many things we chassidim do, myself included. Although b”H tznius has never been an issue for me, I don’t think I need all the fingers of one hand to count how many times I’ve davened lately. My struggles may be less obvious but they are as much a part of my life, and as personal, as another’s more glaring tznius issue. We all struggle, externally or internally, and we need to be… Read more »
kol hakavod to u, just wondering why priorities are bit messed up by so many of us girls, that chitas, rambam, mivtzoyim, sichos,etc. are focused on more than basic halacha of tznius, kashrus, shabbos, etc. first be a yid, then add on your chassidishkeit. (of course, learning chassidus will help you strengthen your yiddishkeit, but you shouldn’t just learn for inyan of learning. hama’aseh hu ha’ikar… yes tznius is an action- bottom line, what is your yiras shamayim? u dressing for others, and scared of what everyone says and thinks of u, or are you doing what hashem and rebbe… Read more »
thanks for posting! i feel this happens to me too!
Very well done! Great points, and honest. Much Hatzlacha in your avodas hashem, mitoch simcha vetuv levav!
If you are a bnos VGA ad leader it’s your obligation to dress like one. Period, end of story. I don’t care how hurt you are by the critical. As a mother of girls I WILL say something when my daughter’s mechanchos, teachers or counselors don’t dress properly. I’m tired of the live and let live passivity while the ones who purport to be LEADERS keep dragging us down. I’m sure you have a lot to offer your students but when you show up with a low neckline you validate the lowest standards for a whole generation. What can we… Read more »
very nive article. will implement in ways that i can.
thank u 🙂
There’s a big misunderstanding when it comes to tznius these days. People think it’s a personal struggle which is no one else’s business. But the fact is that when you walk out into the street dressed immodestly, you’re making a statement to the world about your standards. Every person who sees you is affected in some way, whether it’s lowering someone’s opinion of you and who you represent, or arousing inappropriate thoughts in someone else. There’s a world of a difference between that and how often you say Chitas at home.
You are an inspiration to all your family and close friends around you! You sure make us all proud!
Just watching you Daven, spend the time to teach and give amazing advise to people around you! Keep making the Rebbe and your parents proud! CK
B”H It is clear that u will have Hatzlocha with your personal Challenge, you will also inspire others. Regarding covering knees even when sitting. Having worked as a Rov researching dinim. Covering knees when sitting is Daas Moshe, it was told to Moshe on Har Sinai, all opinions clearly write knees – to be covered even when sitting. The greatest posek of America, Reb Moshe Feinstein A”H and the great Posek from Eretz Yisroel Reb Shlomo Zalman Orebach A”H and the greatest Dayan that is alive Reb Elyashiv shlita, including Rabbi Ovadia Yosef shlita. Even the Lubavitcher Rebbe wrote a… Read more »
Sorry honey but if youre from London you are fighting a losing battle. That community will always find reason why you are not good enough.
every lubavitch girl at SOMETIME feels this. admit it!
The problem with tznius is that you have a struggle with covering up, those that see you may be struggling with a worse yetzer hara. It’s time for people to take responsibility for their their own thought, speech and actions, instead of blaming those around them. Thank you for writing such an honest and moving article.
Thank you for posting this, I think many girls Can relate to this issue
I was in CH lately and what I saw to say it nicely, surprised me. As you write you got looks from people, let me tell you what is behind my look. How could you, how dare you (and i am talking plural) pull the Rebbe so low. Everything we do, wear or say reflects as Lubavitchers on our Rebbe. I personally was sick to my stomach to see what is going on because I feel that the Rebbe did and still does so much for us, cant we at least make him proud of his shchuna? is that so… Read more »
Very brilliantly written. Impressed to say the least
I cried when I proof read your article and I cry again as I read it on COL, tears of Yiddishe Chassidishe Nachas. May Hashem bentch you in your entire life, as well as all those you are trying to help! Love You!
wow!!!! I am in awe.
Well said. Keep up the good work. You should keep succeeding in that battle for real happiness, and help others also to win. Hatzlocha Rabba!
And Tznius is very important because it is your signature of what you believe in at this stage. And people around get the message straight away.
All the hidden good things that you do are for sure also Seen and Recorded quietly
i congratulate you on your honesty and hope that more mechanchos can sense the detrimental effects of being judgemental. hatzlacha rabba in your struggle and you will surely see results. chazara litaamula shaina chozeres raikam.
Wow Amazing!! very well written!! i know this girl that wrote it and she is the most amazing girl!! woooww go her!!
really, really well written and beautifully expressed!
i like a lot!! :):)
This girl has expressed what so many of us, both young and old, experience on a regular basis, and actually I’ll admit that I am an adult writing here, perhaps on behalf of my own kids! Our community is so quick, to critiscize, condemn, and ”write off” our young today, its beyond belief! Even those girls who are 100% tzniusdik, get commented on for other reasons. . . like something as stupid as a certain type of shoe they may be wearing, the SEM they have been accepted in, like “I would NEVER want my daughter to go there. .… Read more »
An article after my own heart ;)))
Ur awesome and I admire your strength and the power of your convictions! Keep up the determination to always go higher so that we can all keep learning from you!
And now… bring on the comments!!!
xxxx
nicely written, really sounds like you come from the community in London from your description.
WOW – really truely amazing to see someone so open and bring out reality
THANK YOU
Thank you. This was very inspiring and well written! May you have hatzlacha in everything you do!