Aug 15, 2011
Girl in Shidduchim Takes Action
Illustration photo

A 25 year-old Lubavitch girl, disappointed by repetitive names being offered by shadchanim, has opened a useful website.

By COLlive reporter

Hadassah (a fictional name to protect her privacy) is a 25 year-old single girl who comes from a well-to-do Chabad family on the East Coast of the United States.

Successfully going through the traditional school system, this capable individual assumed a job at the family company and started receiving offers for shidduchim.

It didn't take her long to realize that the names of bochurim, mentioned to her family by various shadchanim as fitting for her, sounded very familiar.

"Basically," she told COLlive.com in a phone conversation requesting anonymity, "there is a small list of names that is, more or less, recycled around by everyone.

"They say there are so many boys out there, but many don't get on (shadchanim's) lists or are not being mentioned because not all parents know how to describe their child well."

With the advice of her parents and Mashpia, she ventured to the web to open a new website to give power to the people.

MyShidduch.net, a free and private website, offers singles, parents or other relatives to fill out a short profile of a boy or girl of marriageable age.

The profiles are posted without names, photos or any other identifying information.

If a profile catches one's eye, Hadassah requests permission of the said person to share the name and contact information.

"The site isn't intended to replace traditional shadchanim and suggestions from singles' relatives and friends," she specifies.

"It is, on the contrary, a helpful addition that is more in tune with today's generation of Chabad singles than any other previous endeavor."

The short profiles are sent to over 25 Chabad shadchanim who are supporting the independent effort.

"It is logistically impossible for all shadchanim to meet all singles, so this allows them to view profiles of singles they'd never have met and who may be shaiech to singles they're helping," Hadassah says.

"Many shadchanim have highly praised this new, revolutionary approach, and many singles and parents have found the site to be a welcome addition to today's Chabad shidduchim scene."

Visit MyShidduch.net or email a profile to admin@MyShidduch.net

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Opinions and Comments
1
nice site!
maybe work with whoever does lubavitchsingles.com and see if instead of just giving a name everyone can give a small description of themselves.
I also like that it is free and you dont have to be a member to see the profiles. I am BH married but i help many single friends and i am not able to see profiles on sites such as chabadmatch because i am not a member.
(8/15/2011 9:10:23 PM)
2
Okay
Its a nice idea, just curious to see if it'll take off or not.
(8/15/2011 9:11:19 PM)
3
Brilliant.......
Thanx so so much for doing this...may you find your bashert very soon in this zechus....
(8/15/2011 9:15:43 PM)
4
amazing!
i think this site is AMAZING and iyh it will help many more shidduchim come into fruition!
We should should see lots more mazal tovs on col soon!
(8/15/2011 9:43:25 PM)
5
Chabad match?
What's the dif?
(8/15/2011 9:48:39 PM)
6
great idea
(8/15/2011 9:49:12 PM)
7
!!!
Great site, it is really needed
thank you!!!
(8/15/2011 9:50:53 PM)
8
The more the merrier
Not all chabad families who are geze and yichus should just resort to word of mouth by family etc. The should also mix in with baal teshuvas, because love is the answer.
(8/15/2011 9:57:52 PM)
9
wow!
amazing!
(8/15/2011 9:58:15 PM)
10
Very nice...!
Best of luck....
(8/15/2011 10:23:41 PM)
11
networking
Great idea! I agree with what the author says. Regarding a Shidduch for a boy, Alot of Shadchanim are based in Crown Heights and are eager to help their Crown Heights friends in need of Shidduchim, which is very commendable and should continue! However, the result is that the same 5 girls names come up from every Shadchan in the Shchuna. There's not always a match and a bigger pool of names needs to be available. Lubavtich is SO big all over the WORLD . There must be a whole segment of Shidduchim age girls and boys that are not even being addressed. Hopefully, this new idea of having people put their profile on the suggested site may open up doors for someone who doesn't have the same networking skills and connections to get their son or daughters name out there. Hatzlocha Rabba!
(8/15/2011 10:54:40 PM)
12
Hmm
What's the difference between this and chabadmatch.com or the like?
(8/15/2011 11:11:42 PM)
13
opportunity
this is a beautiful opportunity for all the girls (as in Tu b'av!) to be recognized and respected and have more opportunities. All our girls are bas yisroels and are gems. Whether the most chassidish or not they have a tachlis, the Abishter wants them, the Rebbe cares for them and this is way the right time for this to come out. Thanks to the girl and hatzlacha to her and all of us. Moshiach NOW!
(8/15/2011 11:16:25 PM)
14
Agree with Number 8, but also....
Mix in Baal teshuvas AND gerim!! Let's not forget about the converts!!!
(8/15/2011 11:22:14 PM)
15
Very simple
My name isnt out there, i'm a 26 year male.. I have posted before, simply stated I havent really dated and no one gives me offers.. nor am I inclined to put my name out there.. I dont feel like people have a clue.. I really do not want the drain of dating 15 far fetched girls out there...

(8/15/2011 11:23:54 PM)
16
it's about time
It's about time that girls over the age of 21 decided that it's their responsibility to get themselves married. Girls, stop complaining that nobody is helping you!!!! Start helping yourselves!!!!!!!
(8/15/2011 11:44:11 PM)
17
great idea
not to reveal names I just need the girl in the picture to turn her head slightly more to the right so I can see her profile.
(8/15/2011 11:51:11 PM)
18
well done
profiles look messed up, they can be read either way making the frum look fry...!
(8/15/2011 11:53:11 PM)
19
kol hakavod!
hope this helps!
(8/15/2011 11:59:41 PM)
20
laughing...
sorry.. lemme try to stifle my laughter for a bit to offer some constructive critism to whoever runs the site..
so the descriptions of the singles kind of run into each other, with categories and then either a yes or a no.. the problem is I'm reading it:
seminary, then-- yes college-- then, no tznius....
or for the boys:
I'm reading:
No full beard-- yes movies--no personality....
I was in shock when I read no personality.. what kind of person says that about themselves.. then I burst out laughing and realized I was reading the profile all wrong.. and had to re read descriptions of boys I had dismissed because they had no full beard or etc...
(8/16/2011 12:04:29 AM)
21
Chabad Bruder & Shvester
In an effort to "change things up" there were 2 facebook pages "CHABAD BROTHERS" and "CHABAD SISTERS" recently launched by a few Rabbis and Marriage counselors to provide practical marriage advice to singles. The two groups interact under supervision to give everyone an understanding of each other.
It's in the beginning stages but it might be very promising
(8/16/2011 12:25:29 AM)
22
Mister
Good for her. I hope this succeeds.

To those asking what is different about this site:
Firstly, who needs anything different.
Also, this is the exact opposite of a site that mentions just names and nothing else and consequently alot more helpful. Plus I think that bochurimlist is a list of bocurim from the nuns.

Also, by having just personalities and no names, this site differentiates itself from chabadmatch which, because it uses names, requires more of a commitment from the participants. Consequently, far fewer people get involved.

This seems a perfect solution to generate options for further research by parents.
(8/16/2011 12:30:26 AM)
23
i seconda chabad match!!!!
so thare is something like that already!!!! but anyways, i hope it works!!!!
(8/16/2011 12:52:51 AM)
24
me again
Had a look at the site.

One issue I have is the generalizations and simplistic nature of the questionnaire.

Do I watch movies/ read goyishe books/ steal from old ladies?

Im sure you know that you cannot group together people who have an inquisitive bent of mind and therefore read books [reading books means reading non-jewish books] with people who are out at the movies every other night, or even with someone who reads other kinds of books.

Similarly, the other questions seem trite. In real life, people have many-faceted opinions and ideals. The manner the questions are posed only allow for one chassidish answer.

For example:
Future Plans: Shlichus/Business/Profession.
3 points for shlichus, 2 for business, 1 for profession.

But what if you're dealing with someone who either doesnt know what he wants to do or wants to do something that falls outside of all three options or is included in 2 of the categories?

Also, I could leave the 'Personality' blank [because I have no personality] and my form would still look 90 percent full.

As a project under construction, it looks very good though.
(8/16/2011 12:55:23 AM)
25
I know.
There are four or five Bochurim that everybody wants.

The second they stop dating one guy, they're are back on the list and my parents go crazy to get me to date one of them.

What are there not more. What do Bochurim do these days, sit in 770? I know that means, it means that e does not know what life is about.

I dated this one guy, who sad to say, he broke it off. But my point is that he was a great guy. knew what to say, had respect for women, understood life, was very caring, and was willing to hear and agree on topics he didn't know, and most of all, he was structured! He knew that life had purpose, and he was always busy. He constantly found things to fill up his schedule.

It was a breath of fresh air to meet him. And I now know that there are only four or five of them? where are the Bochurim who are fathers of men?

This website is great, but what about honesty, i don't want to hear what he thinks of himself, I want to hear what he really is. What time he gets up in the morning, and how he fills his time.

NOT WHAT HE WANTS TO BE, BUT RATHER, WHAT HE IS!
(8/16/2011 1:00:55 AM)
26
This reminds me of www.chabadmatch.com
What's the difference between the two?
(8/16/2011 1:51:40 AM)
27
resident 5 boros
to #15 very funny are you ?? and how do you expect to meet your bashert if not to give a chance in life?? do not worry you are not the only one to think that way, but move and move all your friends towards the right shiduch. come to SHIDDUCH GROUP MEETING in Flatbush, WE WILL BE HAPPY TO ASSIST YOU, WE GOT ALL TYPES...TO ALL OF YOU MAZEL TOV BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR!!!
(8/16/2011 2:01:30 AM)
28
it not enough
If only there were single events in crown heights that e1 felt comfortable going to and more out there to give access to boys and girls to get to see eachother.
(8/16/2011 2:03:32 AM)
29
More help needed...
Divorcees also need help finding a shiduch. Does anyone know of somewhere/ someone to turn to?
(8/16/2011 4:22:07 AM)
30
about time!
this is a wonderful idea,after so many articles about the shidduch crisis worldwide i really pray this will result in many smachot in the community.well done to the girl for taking action.now i need to get my sister on it!
(8/16/2011 4:37:33 AM)
31
To #25
I feel bad for your "eventual" husband.

Every discussion about Shidduchim criticizes and vilifies Bochurim, and I feel that it is time to set the record straight:

What about the girls? Huh? What about the many girls out there who are not capable of being a good wife and mother because they are too obsessed with caring for "themselves", or being with their "friends".

What about those girls who will abuse their husbands on a daily basis for not having a fancy summer home or not having a nice car?

What about those girls who will take the life out of their husbands by constantly whining about his job, his friends, his attitude, his "not" helping enough, the way he brushes his teeth, the way he moves, the way he breathes etc...?

Are you one of those girls?

Bochurim are constantly being told that you have to "treat a girl nicely", and are constantly drilled with the message that "you have to respect your wife", but are girls being taught the same thing?

Are girls ever taught to respect their husbands?

Are girls ever taught that their husbands work hard "also"?

Are girls ever taught that men have feelings too?

To the Bochurim out there: Remember this comment ba'al peh, and think about it while you are dating.
(8/16/2011 4:38:01 AM)
32
#15 responnds
#27,
I dont live in new york.

Not sure how i'll get married, once I wrote a op-ed to collive that they never published... but it encompasses how I and many others feel..

Disease is everywhere, I know so many r'l unhappy couples...

I see too much shallowness, too little of the personality... i'm not seeing that these people want true marriage.. to unite, to build, to grow, bond, love...

or i just live in a cave?
(8/16/2011 4:48:23 AM)
33
Why don't you try.....
Why don't you try - YALLILI?!
(8/16/2011 7:57:51 AM)
34
to 31
I am a bocher myself however I totaly agree with 25 because if one treats his wife with all the respect that 25 mentioned his wife will treat him the same.
Chabadmatch is only for shadchanim to look up the profiles while this site is for everyone to look up (at the same time keeping 100% privacy) Keep up the good work.
(8/16/2011 8:42:36 AM)
35
good
it would just be bettter if you could get an explicit letter of recomendation from rabbonim.
keep up the good work, caring for our kids.
(8/16/2011 9:05:17 AM)
36
Yeah - yalili
brilliant comment.
If we wd all just Yahlili...ahh it all makes so much sense now
Yahlili
Yahlili
Yahlili
(8/16/2011 9:05:29 AM)
37
daddy dude
What a great idea. Many will benefit from this. At least it 100 times better then those sitting behind a screen krechtzing and what not..doing nothing.
Kol Hakavod
(8/16/2011 9:19:53 AM)
38
op-ed
everyone has their day. so do judmental shodchonim. all these kids deserve a chance.
(8/16/2011 10:00:36 AM)
39
best segullah!
a wonderful segulah that I found works wonders is, help others find theirs, and G-d will send you yours! It really works!
(8/16/2011 10:23:59 AM)
40
Hatzlacha Rabba!!
May you all be Blessed with the right one, in the right time, with the right life experience.

Its not easy to find a shidduch, but if you work hard you will succeed, one has to use all the available sources, friends, family, shadchonim, facebook, and websites like these...

May Hashem Bless everyone who needs a Shidduch to find one, for marriage brings Moshiach closer!!

(8/16/2011 10:50:49 AM)
41
Chabad Shidduch Group Meeting
Sunday, Sept. 11 10:30 am at Bais Menachem Mendel, 1701 Ave J, Flatbush. Ladies - come and p[resent your child, your friend, yourself. Let's network and make shidduchim!
(8/16/2011 11:18:14 AM)
42
TO 31
I think u missed her point.
My understanding is , she was saying that asking a boy of marriageable age what he wants to be is not what she wants to hear.....she doesnt want to spend the first 10 -15 yrs of her marriage floating from one thing to another till he finds himself.
My husband did the yeshiva system all the way thru....OT ,shlichus,770,kolel etc and then we looked for shlichus but as our parents are not shluchim we just didnt get and eventually desperate to pay rent( by which time i was pregnant and ill and couldnt work) he had to take a job which then led to one dead end job after another. 15 yrs on he has finally settled into a good job (his own business) but its been he-- (mostly for him) and we will not let our boys go thru the same...our 11 yr is talking about going to medical school and so he will...no wasting such important yrs of his life in expensive yeshivas doing nothing that will prepare him for real life!
To all those out there thinking we are a modern family with modern ideas u are so wrong .We are gezer ,ffb, full beard,minyan 3 times aday,tzniyus and very frum (as in good old fashioned halocha ,ahavas yisroel etc) etc but we are realists!!
(8/16/2011 11:30:26 AM)
43
to #42
I couldnt have said it better!!!!!
I 100% agree with you!!!!!!!
(8/16/2011 11:43:28 AM)
44
to number 25
so who are these 5 bochurim? enlighten me, I haven't heard of even 5. I'm desperate to get the name of one.
(8/16/2011 11:54:51 AM)
45
hatzlocha and you should find ur man:)
but the best comment was the yaalili one:)
(8/16/2011 12:01:15 PM)
46
TO ALL PARENTS & FRIENDS = HELP!!!
IN ORDER TO BRAKE THE SHIDUCH CRISIS: PLEASE TAKE NOTE :
1- Classmates & friends AS I WILL REPETE "DO NOT FORGET YOUR FRIENDS NOT MARRIED YET" invite them, make parties, you got to help too!!!
2- In Flatbush like in Crown Heights we have meetings 2x a month and mini-meetings as well, MOTHERS you are more than welcome, please come to participate and H. will help you by helping others too, more than 100 shiduchim did happen in groups, ken yirbu..
3- Shadchanim are on call 24h. just about and parents have more expectations making harder to obtain a date...(B'H the mothers are #1) my son is..
4- and of course today bachurim expect dolls, size, Miss beauty Univers, AGAIN I WILL REPETE, Roshei Yeshivas all over the world, YES IT'S YOUR JOB TO PREPARE THOSE BOYS/BACHURIM BEFORE THEIR RESEARCH IN LIFE FOR THEIR BASHERTS just in like in Lubav. Sem. they do prepare our girls with more yiras shamayim, good midos, frumkeit,
OUR BACHURIM ARE NOT FOCUSED ON THE RIGHT TARGET, B'LIEVE ME THEY ALL DAY LONG they DREAM FOR THE BEAUTY AMERICAN DOLLS, SIZE AND TZINIUS FORGET IT???! SHAME !! WE GOT TO BRAKE THIS SHIDUCH CRISIS ONLY BY HELPING EACH OTHER AND SHADCHANIM PICK UP THE PHONE OR CALL BACK,
5- this attitude of gezha, sepharadic or baal teshuva's background has to change and end likethe Famous " Rabbi Manis Friedman" did mention in his speach this past winter in Lubav. Yeshiva, when possibility or good potential of a match can happen and NOT JUST FOR THE NAME!
6- Parents, let's exchange names, not good for you no problem may be good for others,
WITH MUCH MORE SUCCESS AND NACHAS IN YR FAMILIES!! BE REALISTIC!!!
(8/16/2011 2:14:22 PM)
47
to #42
i wish more people thought like u did.
(8/16/2011 2:34:42 PM)
48
Lo tov lihiyos levado! (It is not good for a man to remain alone!)
Does a woman make her man? Yes?!

If so, it doesn't matter what a man IS, but rather who he is willing to become!

Ask anyone in a healthy marriage where their greatest support comes from and they will answer, their spouse.

Ask them how the structure of their daily life changed after marriage, and often you'll find they're living a different life.

Ask them how their self-confidence changed from before and after marriage and they will tell you they were transformed.

A single person is half a person, and therefore cannot be expected to reflect who they will be when married.

A single life (especially for a male) is no life, and therefore it can be expected that a single person will falter in many areas, spiritually and or just practically.

Speaking of bachelor pads, imagine the affect a person's living environment has on the productivity of their daily life.

STOP expecting a bochur to be a well-developed man.
It takes working in a relationship to develop a bochur into a 'man'.

Forget about who a person is, and be more focused on who they can become.
(8/16/2011 2:37:52 PM)
49
To #42
Let me ask you, during your 15 years of "hardship", did you stand by your husband and offer him encouragement?

I wonder if you've criticized him. I wonder if it has ever crossed your mind that perhaps your husband was doing the best he could, yet Hashem had other plans.

Go ahead, blame him.

Blame him, his Yeshiva, his upbringing, his parents, the system... blame, blame, blame.

Don't get me wrong, there are lot's of Bochurim out there that lack the knowledge and skill to be in a marriage and raise a family, but the same applies to girls.

You say that there are only 5 good Bochurim out there? Then there are probably the same if not less in the girl's camp.

To #34, here is some news for you:

You wouldn't even begin to know HOW to respect your wife.

Respecting your wife is VERY different than respecting your parents or your teachers. It's a respect that is extremely complex, and can only be learnt through experience in your marriage.

You will need to know when to tell her yes, and when to (respectfully) tell her no. You will need to know when to agree, and when to (respectfully) disagree.

It will be very easy to respect your wife when she asks you to do things that come natural to you and you are used to (e.g. taking out the garbage, going grocery shopping etc...), but when she will start asking you to do things that do not come natural to you, like force you to come with her family to places that you have no interest in going to, or to dine with people that you feel extremely uncomfortable being around, we'll see how fast your respect runs out... (Especially when you ask her to do the same and she refuses).

I am just sick of reading these Shidduch articles bashing and battering Bochurim.

At least with a Bochur, things are just a little bit more transparent. With a girl - fuggetaboudit. The whole world will say she is the sweetest thing, and you will find out soon enough...


(8/16/2011 3:31:26 PM)
50
to #46
BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO ; GOOD ADVISES NOW MORE PRACTICE!!!!!!!!! LETS CONTINUE THE DAY OF TU B'AV !!!!!!!! AND TO THE GIRL WRITING THIS ARTICLE, A BIG YASHAR KOACH TO TAKE YOUR TIME WRITING AND THINK TO SHARE FOR OTHERS!! MAY H. SEND YOU YR RIGHT ZIVUG AND BRACHOS
(8/16/2011 3:52:16 PM)
51
@42
Do you maybe think that girls like you who want to have a great standard of living from day one of marriage, would maybe be better off marrying non-lubavitchers?

The Lubavitcher Rebbe isnt into secular education. And Lubavitcher bochurim are more worried about their learning than their future prospects.

Actually, Lubavitcher bochurim have all kinds of faults. They dont comb their hair or know how to complement women or even how to talk to single women. They are immature and very self-focused.

Im sure Bochurim from YU are much better suited to giving the women of today what they deserve.
(8/16/2011 5:28:53 PM)
52
Do you care?!
Do you care...?!

The greatest example the Rebbe set was with regard to:

VALUE.

The Rebbe worked to encourage having value of others.
The Rebbe worked to encourage self-value.
The Rebbe worked to encourage valuing whats truly valuable.
The Rebbe lived by example valuing every single individual.

We must protect value, and set circumstances that develop value.
We have strayed so far from even aknowledging what is valuable.

When ones value gets eroded, they no longer see the same reality.
When ones value gets eroded, they no longer see themselves the same.
When ones value gets eroded, their sensitivity gets destroyed.

Value is -100%- dependent on a person's treatment of themselves and/or others.

NOWHERE is value dependent on:

FFB vs. BT
Studying/teaching or working
Shlichus or business
Smicha/seminary or not
College or not
Stockings or not
Secular movies/books or not

Do we value VALUE?

The KEY to marriage is VALUE!
The KEY to value is HUMILITY!
(8/16/2011 5:47:28 PM)
53
to 49
Why so defensive?
Where does ur negativity of women come from....
your spouse, yeshiva, upbringing ,parents, the system?
Most women do support and encourage their husbands during hardship.
I don't see blame...just fact!

(8/16/2011 5:53:59 PM)
54
to 42 and 51
42 -totally agree with you!
51-food and bills being paid high standard of living?? Before u put down yu students, i know loads of them and they are more religious then most lubavitcher bochurim ive met, beard and all!!!
(8/16/2011 6:09:54 PM)
55
To #53
You have obviously misread what I have written. Read it again.

My point is not to negate either gender, Chas V'sholom.

Someone here in the comments made mention that there are only "5" normal Bochurim, thus insulting all the rest of the Bochurim out there. The girl who wrote that certainly does not deserve even one of those "5".

I am here to set the record straight, and to show that both genders are on even ground.
(8/16/2011 6:16:06 PM)
56
SHIDUCH RESIDENT
YES, SEPHARDIC AND ASHKENAZI BACKGROUND IS PROBLAMATIC EVERYTIME COMES UP.... ARE WE ALL REBBE'S CHASSIDIM ??? ALSO GEHZA AND BAALTESHUVA ALSO ANOTHER PROBLEM?? NU WHO HAS THE ANSWER? NO RACISM ACCEPTED
(8/16/2011 6:46:30 PM)
57
To comment 5
Chabad match? It seems that it promotes Chabad Chasidim wanted to marry only Chabad Chasidim. I may be wrong, but that's the impression it gives. I agree with other posters who pointed out that we should also mix with BT who joined Chabad and there are also many interesting geirim who became Chabad chasidim. If we do the mix avec them, it will increasingly help to resolve the shidduch crisis. Many people are turning in round looking for a "pure" Chabad Chosid to marry, while they can find a very interesting match among BT and geirim.
(8/16/2011 6:54:25 PM)
58
tried reading the site - was impossible
needs better organization adn format for listing peoples profiles, it's impossible to read. fix the site please so we can benefit from it.
(8/16/2011 7:03:47 PM)
59
to 56 and 57
Racism?? THIS IS MARRIAGE WE TALKING ABOUT!!
One SHOULD only consider from the same background. Marriage is hard enough with out the added stress of different backgrounds and cultures clashing.
(8/16/2011 7:36:05 PM)
60
@54
I didn't 'put down' YU bochurim. On the contrary, I said that they have many maalos. Being able to provide is a good thing. Looking presentable and brushing one's hair is a good thing. So is being aware of the world and one's place in it.

Lubavitcher bochurim have other maalos. But girls aren't bochurim. They are more sophisticated and know what they want out of life. Very often Lubavitcher bochurim are not what they are looking for.

The trouble is that the girls don't know it.
(8/16/2011 8:02:25 PM)
61
To 60
True, the girls do know what they want and that is a guy from the same background! So the answer is not to tell a lubavicher girl to find a 'YU' guy but to tell lubavicher bochurim to get their act together !!
(8/16/2011 8:35:59 PM)
62
@61
Tell me what is wrong with this picture:

A young married man asks his wife if he can stay out all Thursday night farbrenging. She says 'sure', so he does.

When he gets home the next morning, the first thing he does is brech all over the carpet. His wife wants to know if he's all right. In reply, he starts telling her about the Iskafya of Reb Dovid Horadoker and how it eventually killed him. She goes off to make him breakfast.

She goes to work, and all day she can't stop thinking about how she is working to support him while he is sleeping off his drink, he's not even going to kollel that day!

She calls her mother who tells her just to tell him that he cannot go next time. "I think I'll do that, but who's going to clean the carpet?"

I don't think that lubavitcher boys and girls do come form the same background. Unlike you, I would not change the yungerman one iota. The two just arent a match.

Why would a grown woman with needs and wants from life choose to put herself in that situation? Why not just marry someone who is a yerei shomayim and keeps mitzvos behiddur; but also has the capability of supporting his wife economically and socially, and has his oros firmly planted in keilim?
(8/16/2011 10:49:31 PM)
63
@60, 61, 62
As a single bochur, I take issue with your charactarization of all single Lubavitch males as a group of immature, primitive yobs who "can't get their act together" and spend their time chatting in 770 or getting drunk.

Sure, there are some bochrim (generally the super chassidish kind) whose lives do completely revolve around farbrengens and the latest mikva news.

But there is also a significant group of bochrim who are put together, have full-time jobs, know their place in the world, have personality, hobbies, and interests, and yes: are sophisticated.

The fact you haven't dated any of those boys is a result of the fact that your parents/shadchan are setting you up with the wrong type of boy. And that is not our fault, so please stop blaming us! Thank you.
(8/17/2011 8:36:31 AM)
64
Stop complaining and help the initiative
Someone took an initiative to start some constructive, it's a bigger step than the majority of the critics here have done. Why not lend your talents and help perfect the idea instead ?

Some of these comments are hilarious. You are guys are unreal, what a warped sense of reality some of you have. Thank G-d I am not part of your world and don't live in CH.

(8/17/2011 10:36:49 AM)
65
thanks
This is not a new concept. There was bochrim.tk and I think girlslist.tk, which I think are now defunct, though this site is better developed. Kol hakavod!
(8/17/2011 11:02:58 AM)
66
outdated
the .tk sites have long been renamed lubavitchsingles.com!

The advantage of that site is that it has ONLY Lubavitch names and won't confuse you with people from different groups. Because the bottom line is that Lubavitch people are not looking for someone who attended services in a chabad house 3 times or spent a year at mayanot.

The .tk sites tried the profiles many years ago but mainstream Lubavitch straight out refused to submit their info.

Chabadmatch and now this new site will therefore not be able to cater to the mainstream Lubavitch shidduch market any more than Lubavitchsingles.

As is obvious from the posted profiles they are failing already.
(8/17/2011 3:55:50 PM)
67
all jews have big noses
whatever one's opinion may be, everybody is generalizing too much. One cannot brand an entire sect or gender with one specific term. Keep in mind that when you are calling boys/girls/any other large religious sect by one degrading title, you are essentially condemning a few thousand people for having a bad trait, which clearly cannot be true of so many people. One cannot simply make assumptions about a large group of people based on his/her observation of one person in that group. Please keep this in mind the next time you bash a bunch of people on the head with one blow.
(8/17/2011 5:46:38 PM)
68
CHEQUE MATE!!!
THE BLIND LEAD THE BLIND

ALL SHADCHONIM ARE FULL OF HOT AIR AND NO SUBSTANCE.............THEIR PHILOSOPHY IS SIMPLE....IF YOUR NOT GEZHE OR RICH YOUR NOBODY AND NOT WORTH WASTING THEIR PRECIOUS TIME ON YOU.
(8/17/2011 9:11:42 PM)
69
correction
#46 THE CORRECT SPELLING IS BREAK . Your spelling is for a car = brake. and remember, plural does not have an ' .
(8/17/2011 9:44:52 PM)
70
63 are you single??
Ill date you!
(8/19/2011 5:04:42 AM)
71
@ 63
please reveal yourself!!! we are all wondering who is this mature "sophisticated" bochur!
(8/19/2011 2:43:42 PM)
72
Is the hype over?
Has anything become of this site?
Do people use it?
(10/2/2011 7:53:27 PM)
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