N’shei Chabad Newsletter / COLlive Women
Hi. My name is Hindy Gurwitz and I have taught in Bais Rivkah 12th grade for 30 years and for the last three years I have been involved with the administration of Bais Rivkah seminary with Principal Morah Chana Gorowitz.
Recently, a mother approached me and said very passionately, and I quote, “I am sick and tired of hearing about the challenge of raising children today! I want solutions!”
If you are amongst those who have the same sentiment, then perhaps you might gain some clarity and insight through some of the thoughts I will be sharing with you today.
There comes a time during 12th and even 11th grade when the subject of seminary takes center stage. This is a very challenging time with much confusion and pressure for our daughters who stand at the crossroads of making a very important decision. I would like to share with you four important questions that have evolved over time and keep coming my way from mothers of 11th and 12th graders.
Number one: Is it really important for my daughter to go to seminary?
Number two: Would it be ok for her to rather work for a shliach… I mean after all she has been in school for 12 years?
Number three: Why seminary at all, I really want her to just take courses so she can get her degree?
Number four: Isn’t one year of seminary enough? Even one year is so expensive!
I do not have all the answers but I do know that we can always take direction from our beloved Rebbe.
Please allow me to read you a letter which was written by the Rebbe to a parent of a 15-year-old girl who was graduating high school. The letter was written in 1954.
The Rebbe writes and I paraphrase, “It would be worthwhile for your daughter to continue learning after high school. I have heard that there is a school in your area whose major emphasis is on yiras shamayim. Look into it and if this is so, I recommend that this is where you should send your daughter. For there she will learn and gain skills…then she will be able to give hashpa’ah to others.”
1954?? Who would have thought that even then this would be the standard that the Rebbe wanted to set, the priority for a girl graduating High School? The Rebbe clearly identified as far back as 1954 the correct environment for a Lubavitcher girl.
You may respond, “Times have changed.” Perhaps children have different needs today. It’s a new generation. Possibly, we need a new approach.
Yud Bais Tammuz, the day the Frierdiker Rebbe turned 15, his father, the Rebbe Rashab, woke him up at dawn, to let him know that they were traveling to Lubavitch.
They came to Lubavitch and immersed in the Mikva, after which both the Frierdiker Rebbe and his father the Rebbe Rashab went to the local shul. The Rebbe Rashab opened up the aron kodesh and began teaching the Frierdiker Rebbe the first line of Chogor b’oz masneha. The Rebbe Rashab explained to his son that this posuk is teaching us that we have to wrap ourselves with the strength of mosneha , which is mesiras nefesh. What is mesiras nefesh today, asked the Rebbe Rashab – “Azoy un nisht andersh” — ” like this and no different.” The Rebbe Rashab then gave over to his son the responsibility of dealing with communal affairs.
In other words, the Rebbe Rashab was conveying to his son that one can only enter the world arena if one remembers “Azoy un nisht andersh” – knowing clearly who we are, and who and what we represent.
When our daughters turn to us for guidance on any decision, we need to constantly check if we are transmitting and inspiring them with that message
How many of the women reading this article went to seminary for one year? How many of you sitting in this room went to seminary for two years? If this was necessary and valuable before Gimmel Tammuz how much more so is it important today?
Sometimes we need to say things as they are! Look at the world around us! See too many of our very own children who do not resemble children of the Rebbe.
We all know that it is difficult to maintain the right perspective – to uphold our standards. Standards which many of us grew up with and many of our parents fought passionately to uphold. Let us unite, parents, mashpiim, teachers, the entire educational system to instill in our children from when they are young that our educational system has a structure. There is pre-school, elementary school, High School and then two years of Seminary.
Are our children no less deserving of that same stubborn refusal to compromise? Are they not as deserving of a full rich chassidishe education? Has the definition of what makes an akeres habayis changed?
A girl about 25 years old was in medical school and becoming a doctor when she discovered a new path of Torah and mitzvos. Soon she decided to drop out of medical school. The school was very puzzled because she was such a promising student. They refused to accept her resignation without a full detailed explanation in writing.
I would like to share with you one short paragraph from her essay.
I have chosen to leave the medical profession because I have an even more important mission and responsibility to fulfill before G-d. You see, I am a Jewish woman and I plan to be a wife and mother some day. As such, I am neither ready nor willing to put my own life on hold for who knows how many years for the sake of becoming a doctor. I will not compromise my time, efforts and energy for patients at the expense of the development of my own future family. Therefore I proudly choose for my center and my priority to be my home now and always. That is what I know will bring me the most joy and fulfillment.
What a clear sense of purpose! What a powerful expression of who she is and what her tafkid is in this world. Is this not what each one of us desires and davens to see in our own daughters?
And now we are facing yet another new phenomenon and for this I ask all of the shluchos to hear this message whether you have a seminary age child or not.
One evening I received a phone call from one of our seminary students from last year. She came for seminary aleph. And though we thought she was planning to continue a second year and study in Bais Rivkah’s teacher training program, it never happened. She called me to ask if I could help her get in touch with certain teachers that she would like to contact for advice, because, she says, “I am teaching pre-school. And I really need some help.”
I listened to her and then asked “If you knew you were planning to teach why didn’t you stay a second year so you could learn how to teach before walking into the classroom? You have so many years to teach, but you only had this one opportunity to learn how to teach. She paused for a few seconds and then responded, “Personally, I wanted to stay and learn another year, but my parents wanted me to come home and help them on shlichus.”
Dear Shluchos! Whether it’s your own daughter or someone else’s, why would you hire a girl straight out of 12th grade or seminary aleph? Would you not prefer to bring out a girl to teach for you after she is trained and instructed in the basic skills of teaching? Would you not prefer to have teachers who are more confident, more skilled and more knowledgeable – girls who understand the responsibility and the preciousness of the neshamas they are teaching?
Would it not make your lives as employers so much easier if you were to work with motivated and trained individuals? Would it not make your schools so much more professional and successful?
Dear parents, are we guiding our children to pursue the right opportunities? To make the right choices?? Should we not strengthen their foundation and give them the skills they need for life?
There appear to be very good options available in the world. EVEN the frum world has opened a variety of programs for parnassa purposes. Maybe those are acceptable??? However the Rebbe has clearly proclaimed that these other programs are not for us, at least not in this critical age, and that our standard is different. We have a special shlichus in this world and we must remember this.
It is not easy, but we were never promised an easy solution. We were simply given the manual.
Going to Seminary for a second year affords our children great OPPORTUNITY.
a. opportunity to join a program geared to a Bas Chabad that is attuned to the Rebbe’s hora’os.
b. opportunity to benefit from an added layer of insulation, warmth, and knowledge before stepping out into the challenges of the world.
c. opportunity to gain skills that will help her perform later as an effective and successful teacher and mother.
To attend a year of Seminary Bais should not be a question. However, which particular program is best suited for your daughter is a topic to be discussed with hanhalah and mashpiim. This is definitely a question to ask the Rebbe!
So ladies do we still have questions? Maybe…but we also have answers.
The answer is quite clear. There is absolutely nothing better for our daughters at this critical age in life than for them to be in a chasssidishe learning environment as long as possible. And this is the Rebbe’s advice. Azoy un nisht andersh.
May we greet Moshiach now! Thank you for reading.
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i think the IDEA and CONCEPT of seminary is great. however the expenses are sky high
Sem is so important….and there are scholarships and grants to help with the expenses…MASA and Pell Grants are only two of the different ways you can get financial help. Really, its so important to send your daughter even for only one year!
If the spelling and grammar above is any indication, most of you need to go back to first grade, never mind seminary. Mrs. G: Can you say “Job Security?” How about “Conflict of Interest?” Furthermore, assuming that every high school graduate in the Lubavitch community attends one or even the two years of seminary you prescribe, are there enough teaching positions waiting for them once they graduate (not to mention that teaching is NOT a one-size-fits-all occupation. Frankly, it is an insult to the education community to assume so)? Oh, and please correct me if I’m missing something, but last… Read more »
I went to Sem 1 and 2, and encouraged my daughters to do the same. I do agree that the Sem experience in Israel is overpriced — for that price the girls should be getting superb education – and they are getting mediocre education and a fun, maturing, horizon broadening program (if they go to a good seminary). With that said, I would still encourage every girl I know and care about to go to seminary (not necessary to go overseas) and to go for two years. It’s a scary, turbulent world out there, and our daughters, and future mothers… Read more »
Instruct and educate are two different things.
Yet today, some seminaries teach certainly, but weaken their students because the Chinuch and personal attention that is given to each girl is not what it should be. (especially when girls are far from home they need particular attention)
After sem these girls know a lot, but what for??they are completely lost in their mind!!! so what is more imp? instructing or educating???????????
everyone is entitled to their opinion, and respect is vital- otherwise no one hears anyone.
majority of girls who did two years, gained, learned and enjoyed.
i did two years…
and THANK G-D i did
now im a teacher.. and i deffinently have strength adn abilities that ive gained, that i would have not been able to overcome and deal with if not for my 2 yrs in a great sem
consequences after going to the “top seminary” :
very good learning thank u,
but the brainwash destroyed my personality, self esteem and more….
now u can judge urself if u still want to call this seminary a top seminary….
here is the reality.
U are right on target! I think col should post that comment as its own article- since it’s all so true, and i don’t think enough people are reading it (it should be sent to mechanchim and hanhala of the schools too.) If that is what seminary would be, I would be thrilled. Seminary- even one i went to considered “top seminary” doens’t come close to any of those important things we really need to know for life. Thanks
1. in 1954, she probably attended a public h.s. the option was probably to deal w/finding a job, and at that time, frum jews weren’t easy to find, so that means she would have been working in a non jewish environment, compromising her shabbos, yichud observance. lets not take the letters of the Rebbe out of context. every one can not be brushed w/the same brush. i worked at a seminary, and i KNOW parents took out 2nd mortg to pay for their children’s year at sem. 2. the second example is to a SON he should learn as much… Read more »
well Im smart, my mother didnt even pay for the registration fees $75 X 3
Should a girl be made to feel like she’s not worth anything when she gets a shidduch call and they ask “where did you go for seminary” and she didn’t??? and besides-I don’t mean to bad mouth anyone but fact is, my year of seminary didn’t leave me with a good feeling afterwards. And yes, I have heard so many horror stories about how some shluchim treat their girls, and the things they have their girls do (-I mean, who in their right mind would ask a 19 year old girl to hang out on a college campus inorder to… Read more »
you’re right! Im a teenager myself and tailing the end of 12th Grade, and reading this all is very stressful…
Seminary changed my life in the best way possible!
My first year of sem didn’t have an option of a second year so I switched to one that did. Best decision I ever made, hands down.
High school girls, seminary is something you all should consider as preparation for marriage. Yup I said the “m” word. =)
Hello, Of all arguments…the goyim???
What do we have to learn from the goyim?? The women get married late, if at all. Have multiple relationships and few children.
What in the world, do we have to learn from the goyim????
When we start imitating the goyim – that’s when we run into serious problems…..
I agree that 2 years is an ideal amount. Young 18 year old girls, while young adults, are still very young. Getting extra time to learn and grow is important. In the non-Jewish world, many parents send their kids to 4 year colleges! Not 1 year, but 4. And many are not cheap. Private ones run $26,000 and up. But, people find a way. You can get government loans, they give financial aid, etc… So while education is not cheap, if the goyim give their daughters 4 years which certainly is not as good as what we can offer, why… Read more »
“Are our children no less deserving of that same stubborn refusal to compromise? Are they not as deserving of a full rich chassidishe…” thats exactly my question. Why are we not given the oppertunity to get that education when the curruption of sems are charging more than any regular chassidishe family can afford and rejected more ppl that apply than they accept? Explain to me what you are doing to make sure that we have that chance. Why is bais rivkah the only place to go? Downing a shliach for wanting their daughter home is a disgraceful thing to do!!!… Read more »
The truth is that we all have the money for what we feel is important. Some easier and some harder. Whether it’s throgh our daily wages, scolarships or savings and stinging. What we need to do is look at the larger picture. What do the girls look like and whom do they resemble and adore once they are out of seminary? What have they gained and what have they lost in that year? If the girls have gone through a school system of 12 grades and have not mastered what they were meant to, then will these seminary years do… Read more »
There seems to be a lot of different issues here. 1. Is sem for everyone. 2. Is a 2nd year necessary. 3. Sem in Israel. 4. Sem in N.Y. (What about other sems? Don’t they get a mention?) 5. Finances 6. Shlichus. 7. Conformity vs. individuality. etc. etc.. My question is: is New York set up to take care of out-of-towners?
Take a look at the age gap in the comments for and against a year in Israel. It seems that the younger generation, those who have been there most recently, feel very differently than the older parents of now teens. Take it from those who were just there, seminary is no longer how it used to be. Think long and hard before you send your daughter off into the unknown of Israel and Sem life. An “experience” is not always a good one. For all they say they monitor, sems really couldn’t care less where you are and when. Yomim… Read more »
but not all can have. We want the best for our kids…and this is a luxury…not a necessity.. If it was a neccesity, it wouldn’t cost so much….For those who talk about grants…many make too much money to be eligible and too little money to pay the amount easily……
I expect all of my children to attend Seminary. The boys through to smicha, and the girls to a year at LEAST. After that they may go on to whatever higher education they want. I have thought this through. They learn carry through, they learn to be responsible, they learn how to live, they learn to learn for the love of learning. They learn to have a good foundation for the future. Many secular parents expect their children to finish 4 years of college, with no goals in mind, just as a minimal requirement. When we expect out children to… Read more »
whether you agree with Mrs. Hindy Gurwitz or not, you have to give her credit – she stood up and said what she believes, and signed her name to it. That is why I am seriously considering what she wrote. Number 172, I didn’t even bother reading your rant because without a name at the bottom, I’m not interested. You don’t have the courage of your “convictions.” Mrs. Hindy Gurwitz is no coward, that’s for sure!
For exposing the bitter facts. I paid quite a price for the so called system which will “clean up and shine up ” those with connections yet abuse power for some of the best girls. A top girl had to fear giving BR as a reference for whatever purposes after hearing how after being praised by one staff member, another responded very rudely insisting on her opinion. Reason – 1.Not on her connections list . 2. Found an easy way out regarding something she couldn’t handle. The principal had no idea how harmful she was to one of the best… Read more »
Why make the lives of the teenagers so stressful???
And some girls in 12th grade are teachers (like for hebrew school), so I’m sorry to say… but they are very experienced, B”h!
It would be nice to work with each girl as an individual- not EVERYONE can do the SAME thing.
As someone else mentioned before, seminaries don’t accept everyone… so then does that mean that the girl can’t enjoy Shlichus?
#172…..Brilliant ! The most sound advice from all comments.
if you are in the field of Chinuch , please extend yourself and offer your advice and help directly to the Mechanchos of
the Pre-Seminary and Seminary age. Thank you.
One common point in most of these comments is that seminaries are way too expensive, especially those in Eretz Yisroel. With the successful revolutions that are still ongoing in the Middle East initiated and promoted using social media, perhaps it is time for Chabad parents to start their own revolt against the overpriced seminaries to force them to bring their tuitions down to levels that are acceptable. As noted BR seminary is MUCH less costly than Israeli seminaries and in Israel the cost of living is much lower than North America. The prices charged don’t make any sense at all.… Read more »
#177
In my experience as a High School teacher, seminary has become one artificial trophy for girls to raise up. So many really great girls are rejected from seminaries for NO reason other than they did not have the right pull. I saw first hand how girls got into ‘exclusive’ seminaries based only on family connections either in the high school end or on the seminary end. I saw girls, who were really very average students, with average talent get into ‘exclusive’ seminaries because they had their marks and recommendations ‘cleaned up and shined up’ on the high school end due… Read more »
my daughters went to “the sem” in Israel. yes, they are great girls, frum, tzniusdik and great students. However, they all said that they had a great Israel experience. It was fun. Yes they also learned but they do not feel that they gained much. The expense was great & we are still paying loans for it. They did not want to go to sem beis. They are married and on shlichus, doing great work b’h. As far as BR: girls do not want to stay in the same building that they were in for 12 -14 years. If we… Read more »
when it comes to getting into seminaries, stop being so cynical. it’s not all about connections and money. at the end of the day the sole reason a girl gets into seminary is because G-D hand picked her.
if you believe in G-d then you know that your last name, bank account, grades and connections don’t make a difference.
you opened a pandora’s.
The overwhelming majority to not think that Sem 2 as it is run today is the solution.
I guess it is back to the drawing board and come up with more realistic ideas
i didn’t even bother with applying to sem. 12 yrs in the lubavitch school system was enough for me-and i couldn’t ask my parents for an $18,000 vacation. ive been working for shluchim since i graduated-and love it.
i noticed how only one person made mention of the fact that the girl in the story was only 15… well OF COURSE the rebbbe told her to spend 2 yrs in sem!!! this story cannot be used as a proof that the rebbe held by 2 yrs of sem. ridiculous, honestly….
B”H Response to Morah Gurwitz: First of all, thank you Morah Gurwitz for something I’ve been talking about for a few years. Finally, someone has brought this out to the velt. I’d like to highlight a few things about the current seminary situation as well as a few suggestions to help. I hope my ideas will be thought about and generate discussion: First, it seems to me that the lack of interest in going to seminary is reflective of a more general lack of interest in frumkeit and chassidshkeit bichlal. Let’s first explore what seminary should be (and was when… Read more »
Why the chutzpah and rudeness ….. I will agree with the people who commented that seminaries are way to expensive – however that is really only israeli Seminaries (BR seminary can give grants …we got for our daughter and only paid $1200 in total). 2) about not gaining and girls going down.. I am sorry to say this is what happens in Israel.. We sent our oldest daughter to seminary in Israel and got a call from a friend visiting… who truly cared and said .. I figured you would want to know where I saw your daughter and how… Read more »
THANK YOU!!! I have a hard time reading these comments too!! OY VEY!!!
I’m sure that by age 18, a girl know what she wants to do, even if she didn’t go to Seminary yet. it’s all her choice, even though it is the parents also. and in the end, it is all up to Hashem, so wherever one may apply and want to go, Hashem is the only one who KNOWS what is best for her destiny. As well as for the person’s spiritual path, there is also her personality and lifestyle. everyone is different. not everyone is for BR and I don’t blame that…
Seminaries should be cheaper and then alot more girls will go. So it is mainly on the financial issue and then also there are many girls who are not Shlichus / teacher type or seminary materal so they do something else. Every girl is different, that’s all. alot of good points here but a big crisis is the $$$ and if the time will benefit the specific girl.
When I wanted to go to the seminary of my choice with my friends, Mrs Gurwitz discouraged me from applying there and told me to try another sem. I actually had family involved in the sem but told them not to “pull me in”, rather to chose me for my merits. Well guess what, I was later told, I was being considered for my merits but a BR staff specifically told them not to take me. Rather take a staff’s daughter! BH I had a great year somewhere else. The dorm life was not the greatest but my family in… Read more »
many years ago I attended college then came to crown heights went to bais rivkah seminary and in the second year I was asked if i would like teach at one of the chabad day schools by my one mf my seminary teachers so I wrote to the rebbe the pros and cons and the rebbe answered to ask my mashipa -my mashipa said the more learning one came do prior to marriage is a better preparation before entering the world – and so i listened and toward the end of the year become engaged and the rest is history… Read more »
I agree with the “reality check” comments but I’d like to give a thumbs up to Mrs G for using her real name like a real person and not hiding behind the wall of anonymity.
“I have heard that there is a school in your area whose major emphasis is on yiras shamayim. Look into it and if this is so, I recommend that this is where you should send your daughter.” I believe that if our schools’ emphasis were on “Yiras Shamayim” we would not have the problems we are seeing today with our girls & boys
1) If we’re worried about the kind of kids we’re raising…they’re already raised by 18–>so the work comes from before seminary. 2) How many spaces are there all together in all the programs that offer a Seminary Bais year? That number is definitely not the same as the amount of Lubavitch girls per year. 3) Getting into and paying for the first year is hard enough! I agree that seminary is a must! But, let’s create other options for our girls as well. What’s wrong with learning how to be a teacher from an extraordinary Shlucha who is a teacher… Read more »
STOP sending your children to an israel or ausi program that thats cost $20k when U have an amazing sem around the corner from u.
I just want to add that I am a graduate of BR and I am extremely dismayed at the rudeness with which people are expressing themselves, especially to a respected and devoted teacher who is trying to give over a chassidishe value that we all know is (at least ideally) something we stand for. Even if you disagree, you can say so with respect! There’s no need to put someone day because you don’t like what they say! As for the specifics of whether or not sem is worth it, please read the comment by #116 – she sums it… Read more »
A good friend of mine whose daughter was up for seminary this year ,chose (with her daughters approval and enthusiasm) to send her daughter together with a good friend to work by a Shliach where they are BH successful and treated well and love it!!! They are gaining alot of experience and interacting with school parents and the community at large. The parents saved themselves $20,000 and are very happy that their daughter is doing well. She’s a great girl and will iy’h be a great wife and mother without the seminary experience. The whole seminary thing has gotten out… Read more »
Seminary has unfortunately become a very bad game. The whole acceptance and registration process has a result of crushed hearts and hurt girls. There is way, way too much elitism, too much stress on the intellectual – not enough room for the girls who are great people but not ‘boki’ in this and that. Bottom line: what is the goal of seminary today? To create talmidos chachomos to rival the boys yeshivas? To make hundreds of good girls feel like rejects because they couldn’t get in? It teaches very little in practical life skills. It makes transition to motherhood much… Read more »
starts and continues at home. Seminary does not change
what has been lacking. It may sound nice but can not replace
a good chinuch and should not be a priority in determining
the values of a girl by asking if and which seminary she went to. Some girls are better off elsewhere. Not everyone is daughter of administrations best friend….
Why can’t we develop an online sem- with learning and interactive discussion much like Shluchos Network? Much cheaper, more flexible, and can suit girls on shlichus, girls staying home, and post sem girls.
Seminary controversy aside, perhaps we should invest more money into our spelling programs in school. The spelling and grammatical errors on these comments are atrocious! Maybe that’s where BR needs to start.
My daughter is not going to sem if I have a say. I went to sem and it did nothing for me. I went because my parents wanted me to go for shiduuchim which was crazy cause my husband told me that he couldn’t care less if I went or didn’t go.
This article is nothing but advertisement! Seminary doesn’t make our daughter’s a better person. Are you trying to say that all the previous years of attending BR school did nothing and only seminary could change our daughters? Crazy! If we want our daughters to be good teachers they should learn how to be a professional teacher, later in life you can take that degree and teach while your husband works on opening a Chabad house.
did one year of sem then went on shlichus and I must say shlichus taught me more about teaching and yiddishkeit then what i would have gotten in any sem.
Hands on experience as oppossed to hours of lectures.
learning is greatl
sem is expensive
the options are limited
the choices are few
girls are hurting
parents are aching
Hindy looking forward to your next articulate article when you tackle these issue.
For the meantime parents, WE will have to insure that our homes provide the chassidishe environment that we pay $1000’s of dollars for sems to provide.
DONT SEND YOUR CHILD TO ISRAEL FOR TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS, THEN SAY U CAN’T AFFORD to send your child to B.R for sem then THERE IS NO MONEY TO PAY FOR YOUR CHILD WEDDING. B/C u sent your daughter to israel
I agree
I went to sem aleph and Beis, and I must say they were both a massive waste of time and $$. I came back even more confused then before. After that, I worked for a shliach and learned more about being a good teacher than those 2 wasted years. One more point: We were never encouraged to take college courses because it would ruin our shidduch, but now that I’m married with a handful of children, I am expected to get a degree….. (just a thought)
Mrs Gorowitz is only sharing this information because she really cares! She is not doing it to promote her future job…because a lady like her could really get a much better paying job…she is involved with the seminary because she cares about our future and our future is deeply rooted in our education!! So please take what she is saying in a way of sensitivity and think it over a little bit. You don’t have to agree but just take her opinion into consideration and realize that it is a selfless thing and nowhere close to selfish based!
Oh come on- the messenger always get shot, you know that! As anyone knows Vindictiveness is alive and well. Every parent cares for their childs wellbeing. How you can Equating pesach – something ever Jew needs to do, with sending a child to seminary which isn’t always in the childs best interests – and Certainly Isn’t the same thing or on the same level of the mitzvah of keeping pesach! As far as nasty remarks go : Did it ever occur to you( obviously from where you sit above- judging the rest of us mortals) that there might be good… Read more »
A P.S to your P.S.
After commenting about people not signing their names why didn’t you?
Dovid
If seminary is that important then why does it cost so much money??????????????????????
Some girls dont get to go to sem cuz it cost a fortune!!!!!
124 an 132
Right on!
1) I find it interesting that people are willing to accept without question that boys must be in yeshiva after mesivta, but girls do not need to continue in seminary after high school. True boys have a mitzva of limud hatorah and girls don’t, but that logic could be applied to high school as well. 2) #49 mentioned ‘the experience’. My daughter went to an Israeli seminary and did have the ‘fun experience’. I do think that besides fun it did help her mature a lot. She built strong bonds with many of the girls she was with. It taught… Read more »
when dropping out of seminary b/c a girl gets engaged becomes just as unacceptable as dropping out of college for that reason, maybe I”ll take your article more seriously.
Sem is just a shidduch factory. The second year especially is a joke.
A local jewish couple in our chabad community (we’ve been on shlichus for 15 years now bh) recently approached my husband saying: ” we just can’t afford to do passover, it’s so expenses, we have 2 kids in college, and to have a seder and cook, and mtazah and wine etc>… its simply to much!” So did my husband tell them “i understand you don’t have to keep passover if its so burdersome, eventhough it is so important to every jew, but if its causing you so much difficulty, forget about the whole thing?” Ofcourse not, my husband sat down… Read more »
The bottom line is that if we would all be considered equal and have the money we would all go to sem because it is very important for hashkafa and becoming an adult. Once they start chosing kids accourding to status that’s when you say good bye I will find my own Way where I can thrive with who I am not how Much money I have or who my frandparents are. Thanks mrs gorowutz but u still need to fix up problems within seminary before telling people to go and then get rejected and rut which can lead them… Read more »
Ur saying everyone should go to sem. And sem. 2 ur the one that tell the sems. Who to take and who not to take and over half the girls don’t even get into sem. 1 !!!!!!!!!! So first work on the sems. To start taking more girls!!!!!!
enough with the “out of town” seminaries. let israeli girls spend their money locally in israeli sems. let n.y. girls stay in n.y or montreal (great sem, by the way) the “chitrik” and “rosenfeld” and “yerushalayim” status, ain’t no status to me. live and let live! know your own daughter, what she is cut out to be, what talk s to her and what doesn’t. same with shiduuchim – look for what’s good fo ryour CHILD, not what you think i s good for YOU. status, status. who cares which sem, if any your dughter went to?? is she a… Read more »
Seminaries are not necessarily a good investment at all.
How can the author dare to advise, nay, practically insist that we send our girls to second year seminary!!! Does she have any idea at all, how tough, impossible it is for SO many of us to raise money for the first year, never mind the second one too! They tear us apart, rip us off, give us sleepless nights and heartache as to how and where we’re going to be able to pay for the enormous tuition they demand from us, and then she says we should/must send them a second year too; As a mother of FIVE girls,… Read more »
please next time let a mother of a big family with money problems write an articl.
The author quotes the woman who dropped out of medical school to raise a family. This IS a bad analogy, because we have the exact opposite happening here. Girls are being told to ‘continue their education’ at the cost of ‘putting their life on hold”. Not all girls will become teachers in Beis Rivkah – the majority of them wont. The problem with seminary is that its focus is too narrow, and unpractical, with little life skills other than teaching. This is the Bais Yaacov model and it does not work for us, where our focus is more shlichus and… Read more »
a friend of mine was sent all the way back overseas because she couldn’t afford the last few months of sem! hello WHAT ABOUT AHAVAS YISROEL why couldn’t the SEMINARY HELP SPONSER HER ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY AND THATS THAT SHE WAS ALMOST DONE!!! SHAME ON THEM BIG SHAME!
I went for 1 year of sem in israel- looking back today even that year was stupid!!! Now married with 3 little kids this article makes me think – I’m defenetly not putting my kids in sem EVER !!! What I have to say is ” give good chinuch to the kids in school so they don’t need sem. U save money make them a nice wedding and they can actualy run a house husband and kids – wich in my opinion os the most important !!! Ps: i like comme # 73 geneous!!!!!
our girls r b’h great students in school. they are about to enter the seminary gae. how we we are NOT going to send them to seminary. we dont see any need of it. i am not hear to suport some one else buisness. what happends is you have 1 girl out of town 20k then a bar mitzva 12k (to make it a mnimumum) then the 2nd girl seminary 70k then the older girl wedding. so lady do u have an extrah 70k each year for me. all the parints dont have the GUTS to say NO we are… Read more »
Everything written sounds good at first glance, but it is not reality today. the author mentions how our daughters are not continuing the proper chassidic path and therefore need seminary. But I have seen first hand how many girls enter seminary and come out less chassidish! Because unfortunately seminaries are not what they used to be. They have become, sad to say, money making facilities. that is not to say that they dont give good shiurim. But many girls end up with other girls who are not so chassidish and they drag them to a lower level. Many sems are… Read more »
Hindy, you are entitled to your opinion. As is everyone else. Problem is when someone on the staff of a seminary starts making conditions, restrictions and obligating others to follow in a rigid line or else… In our communities it is easy to “LABEL” and very often we do. When a girl doesnt get accepted to a certain seminary she is put in a catagory. If she doesn’t go to seminary she will be put in another, and so forth. I understand that you want to build bais rivkah up again to a vital and successful seminary- like it used… Read more »
Most of the seminarys in israel aren’t supervised at all and a lot are t ready to b in israel with all the nisyones a lot end up good but some end up not so great since there so far away from home btw I speak also of the chassidish girls. I’m speaking cuz I was there and know what goes on there!
if sem is sp important then why do girls not get in to any
As a shliach who has had many girls by us over the years I find this article so off-target. Why talk about a second year of seminary when so many girls struggle to get into the FIRST year of Sem! The girls all complain that many who apply for FIRST year seminary are not accepted and BRHS does not help them at all, neither with application nor with ideas as to what to do when they are not accepted. There is no system by which a girl can ensure their acceptance; it isn’t based on any structure known to them.… Read more »
Morah Gurwitz it was great reading your article i remember your lessons with fondness. my oldest twin daughters are only in year 8 of course i would like them to go to 2 years of sem. however, i am already worried about what will happen to them when they go to seminary. i have seen too many of my students come back from seminary on a lower standard than when they left. is this why we have sweat blood and tears to bring them up? seminaries who do not make sure their students have appropriate places for shabbos? seminaries that… Read more »
I am sorry . not everyone can go to bais rivkah seminary. i whole heartedly agree seminary a must but there are not enough of them!! not everyone learns the same way and there have to be different tracks for girls who want to learn and should have the opportunity but are not the top 10. Milan has a great program where learning and community work according to the REBBE’s directives are involved. WE NEED MORE SEMINARIES!! There are many girls because of the lack of seminary space and types that can accomodate different learnng styles opted not to go… Read more »
(I did not read ALL the comments). I find it very touching that so many people are answering on behalf of Shluchim, that we need the girls etc. etc. We are all Shluchim and Chassidim of the same Rebbe. We as Shluchim need to consider if hiring girls is the right thing to do. Perhaps if we stopped hiring girls, unzere kinderlach would go to Sem for another year. It seems that ‘Shlichus’ has become more exciting them Sem, so therefore, go work for a Shliach. Let us remember who we are and what we are trying to accomplish. Unzere… Read more »
The quality of boys Yeshivas is deteriorating more and more each year. The bochurim come out knowing less and less. If a girl goes to seminary for 2 years she will end up knowing more than her future husband (whetner in chassidus, halacha, meforshim on chumish or even minhagim chabad). This creates an imbalance in the marriage, when the wife is the “mashpiah” and “lamdon” of the family. There is a loss of respect for the husband (and father). Ultimately it leads to sholom bayis problems or worse c”v. Therefore, 2 years of seminary might make a better teacher (that… Read more »
you simply cannot compare the cost of sending your daughter to a year of sem (first OR second) in Israel or Australia or wherever… to keeping her home and sending her to BR Sem. BR Sem is highly affordable and highly negotiable, and besides, it leaves time for a job.
i went to israel sem…..waste of time and money. so i take my girls on vacation to israel so when its time for seminary they are happy to go local to BR .
I’m not surprised by the indignation in all these responses yet I feel I should make this point: The author is not imposing her ideas on anyone. She is simply putting forth the concept on how important seminary is. of COURSE she knows and we know that it’s a problem financially for many, if not most people, and that yes, there aren’t a whole lot of choices of places to go, but I don’t believe she’s negating that. Mrs Gurwitz stated in the beginning about stopping to look at the problems. She is simply stating what the Rebbe said about… Read more »
Just because we cannot afford does not mean Mrs. Gorowitis is wrong, it is two seperate issues. 2. Mrs. Gorowitz also stated very clarely that she does not have ALL the answeres, which can apply to all that are shouting on top of your lungs that you don’t have money, it does not make it less ideal to send your daughter bc you don’t have the funds, all you are saying is that you can’t afford to give your child the ideal chinuch if in fact it is for them. Just because you cannot afford a Honda Odesy does not… Read more »
First of all I congratulate Mrs Gurwitz on her article and putting a name to it! I was fortunate enough to go to Seminary for 3 years! Even though my mother was an almonah and money was scarce.and it was a day seminary (like BR) I was a very average student academically, although a very committed student, yet the atmosphere and acceptance etc that I gained has definitely given me innumerable tools to be an chasidishe mother and grandmother, BH. My husband and I was BH able to send my 6 daughters to Sem even though the expense was financially… Read more »
I always thought my daughters will go to 2 years of sem like I did myself but now with k,h a full house of daughters we have to plan ahead and realize daughters in sem boys in yeshiva, shiduchim iyh it is not an option.
Perhaps if you are an American you get some assistance. If you are from Europe, SA , Australia no such thing. Remember there is the travel factor involved.
Speak from the heart, offer real assistance to those non US citizens, offer decent classes not from the stone ages and perhaps you will see your dream fullfiled, class numbers up etc.Girls being”able” and wanting to do a second year.
and which seminary are you sending your daughter to achieve these ideals.
I have tried all 3 ivy league left thousands of dollars I could not afford and got my 3 beautiful daughters back in the smae shape I send them knowing a sicha, maamor more or less but at the end of the day a product of their home
that this letter comes out literally a day or a few hours b4 the seminaries announce which girls got accepted. So to all the parents and girls awaiting your aceptance or rejection, just know its not in your hands. Everything is from Hashem, don’t be hurt that u didn’t get in to the sms u applied to or visa versa, don’t start begging the hanhala to push your child in just know there is a reason for everything and even if u don’t see it now and r feeling left out in the end we all will see why things… Read more »
we need mashiach
I don’t feel that this is a good proof at all… especially when I am not convinced that this is what the Rebbe would have wanted. There were a lot o people who became Frum that the Rebbe told them to continue in their proffessions…. finish going to University… I don’t think that you can compare that to girls who grew up in the system anyway. I heard this speech word for word at the Kinus. Was turned off then, and am turned off now. With all due respect, Mrs Gurwitz obviously has not had to deal with her teachers… Read more »
i just want to say i went to seminary and got into a whole lot more trouble then i ever did before..i mean my parents thought they were doing the best thing by sending me away to “learn” but being on my own gave me the best/worst freedom of all..i explored and did many things my parents wouldn’t approve of..although im happy i got this experience and got to see the world and try things for myself that i wanted in life (not my parents), im sure not all parents would want this for their kids and many dont even… Read more »
Great Article! A pleasure to read!!! May you have much nachas and only good from all the good that you do?
WOW THAT IS MAMESH A GEVALDEIG IDEA I THINK I WILL TRY YOU CHIDUSH
#96,98,99 well said
I don’t regret going to BR. I had a great experience. A lot was to do with the fabulous girls that I met and there were a lot of great teachers too, including you, Mrs G.! Some things bothered me though, and I wonder if they’ve changed. . In many classes, (not all), If someone picked up their hand to ask a qu or make a comment, she would get these looks and we all quickly got the message that “just let the teacher get on with it”, (as if somehow the lesson would end faster without questions!). I don’t… Read more »
While I personally was not singled out by my ‘Top 2’ sem in Israel, I watched as girls were treated in the most degrading of ways by the Hanhala and Seminary staff. Girls who were forced to end friendships, who were monitored 24/7 and completely vilified and degraded, all because some incompetent “hanhala” needed something to do in her office all day. We had a huge joke in sem about the ‘family tree’ that was the staff//hanhala there, and while we did have some fabulous teachers who were related, we also had many teachers who clearly were there ONLY because… Read more »
SO LETS STOP MAKING SEM INTO SOMETHING IT IS NOT, SOME SORT OF SOLUTION AND NECESSITY
i applied to sem along with the rest of my class…but for my whole life i’ve always hated sitting in a desk for 9 hours listening to teachers lecture and move on with their lives. i’ve waited for the day when i could go out on shlichus (or anything but school, tests, grades, etc) and use my talents and abilities to their fullest. obviously i’m going to sem….but really….can you expect us to sit through ANOTHER year of school? can’t us girls who don’t have all the zitzfleish flourish and shine for ONCE?
I went to seminary for 2 years and it did the world for me! It really grounded me in chassidishkeit etc… So i think it’s ideal, but then again every girl and every sitch is different
Most parents of KA”H large families CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT afford the high tuitions for their children’s education. If a parent has to choose between paying for high school or seminary, guess which one will win. Unfortunately, there is a limited amount of income and choices have to be made. It does not help when schools have the attitude that all parents are trying to shirk their responsibility to pay tuition. There are families that would love to pay more tuition, if they had access to loans that they could pay off in the foreseeable future. It was not long… Read more »
no one needs to go to seminary! i am a post sem girl, and personally, my year in seminary was a waste of time and money. it’s not as amazing as they make it out to be and it doesn’t change anyone and it doesn’t make u a good chassidish person.
To the author: Very nice article expressing your points, but what about those on the OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM what about those who literally have no money but the girls are totally brainwashed to go? What about the girls who pashut do not get in? what about the girls who’s parents have their own reasons, irrelevant to you and are not allowing the daughter to go? what about the daughter not wanting to go? perhaps she has other visions and goals in life to strive towards? You must take these instances into consideration. Seminary is NOT for everyone. Seminary… Read more »
While all my daughters went to Seminary & are on Shlichus, I think this is one of the most patronizing articles I’ve read. I know Hindy Gurewitz to be a sincere & emmesdik Chassidishe woman & an excellent role model. BUT YOU ARE UNREALISTIC. Take #3’s comment. So true. Are YOU going to pay for her daughters to got to seminary for 2 years when her husband is unemployed/she’s a single mother/she’s being bled dry by Yeshivas & girls schools/she can’t pay rent or feed her family? Why do you promote the idea that if a girl doesn’t go to… Read more »
I am in high school right now. I want to go to seminary when I graduate but I really dont know how my family will do it. There just isnt that kind of money lying around. I agree with somethings in the article and seminary is really good for a girl. But it takes more than having a girl who wants to go and parents who want to send their daughters… It takes a lot of money. So for a girl like me who davens everyday to be able to somehow go to seminary it is very hard. And if… Read more »
couldnt agree more.. well said!
if you have such important things to teach the girls in sem beis why do we not cut out some of the none limudei kodesh in 12th grade and start the sem subjects ie chasidishe hashkafa and teaching classes in the high school years
you sound like a real 19 year old not using any logic. What you’re saying is that it’s good for you. Ok, I’m very happy for you. However, you have no right in saying that everyone should go to seminary. Nor do you have a right to say that there is a one size fits all.
Dear Mora gurwitz, you write that it is the rebbes directive and we need mesiras nefesh. Can you please explain me, a class of about a hundred girls ken yirbu are applying to seminaries overseas which cost a minimum of twenty thousand dollars, and many girls get rejection letters and are hurting really badly, now what choice do they have? Staying in bais rivka where all their friends are gone, and having a lonely and miserable year,or go on shlichus and be productive. Please enlighten me which part is the rebbes will? the part where many girls get hurt from… Read more »
Agree with you. Every girl should atened nights semenary. I know that in bough park the girls all go to night semanary.
This article is an ad for BR sem beis. Its nothing more and nothing less than trying to raise enrollment in their program. Shes clothing her message in the words of the rebbe. If your not interested in sem beis, just ignore.
some already said my point, i’d like to think you ment well while writing this article but you are clued out!!!!! bh my doughter had the zchus to attend sem in eretz israel and now on shlichus and doing very well for herself and the shluchim she’s working for, not everybody wants to be a teacher, most girls want to get on with their lives i.e get married. the rebbe’s letter didnt say 2 years!!!!!!! and the girl was 15 should he have told them to look for a shidduch? you work with girls for 30 years???? get with the… Read more »
#36 Its sad when parents put up a fight to to pay tuition fees.However, that does not make it right to try and impose one’s personal beliefs on others.
some people like us actually dont have money, dont have bungalows etc. and really cant afford sem.
even with financial aid n bais rivkah its another year of your parents supporting you! and the full program in br is not even covered by financial aid…
bottom line is SEMINARY IS EXPENSIVE … not everyone can afford it.. AND not everyone gets in to the ones that have a GOOD environment. theres very limited spaces.
ps going to bais rivkah for the first year of sem is a very different experience than going away for sem.
GOOD POINT WHY DONT YOU MAKE SEMINARY WORTH WHILE GOING TO?!!!
As a “lucky” girl who was worthy and privileged to have attained one of the few and coveted spots in a prestigious seminary in Israel (with a good name), I must say what a joke. The Rebbe spoke about attending Seminary and I do not deny the importance of continuing one’s education post-high school, although many teenagers think they’ve got it, they don’t. I just do not agree that Seminaries as they exist today, are the answer. I had a horrible experience in Seminary. Seminaries have become businesses, promoting their importance, draining parents’ wallets and silently destroying good girls. For… Read more »
“critical.. however…. absolutely….. the rebbe- sounds like most of my BRHS teachers!
What is the logic in saying that even if you do/don’t go to seminary you should for sure go to a shliach and teach?? Not every girl actually wants, likes or is good at teaching. To make cookie cutter “teachers” just because that’s the only job our schools prepare for is ridiculous!!! For some girls seminary is critical, whether it’s 1 or 2 years is another story all together. For others, seminary is not a must and in fact, can be without real purpose and may even hurt a girl. The bottom line is that everyone is their own person,… Read more »
After 12th grade, I decided with my parents that sem was not for me. They helped me find a shlichus position. I b”h did a great job and continued on to do two more years of shlichus. Today, I am a proud shlucha, and my experiences on shlichus have helped me so much to get me where I am today. I have a heb. school, mommy and me, host shabbos dinners, monthy womens programs and learn with ladies. Just bec. one does not go to sem, does that mean that they can’t go on shlichus for a shliach or on… Read more »
Parents will not listen, b/c they cannot afford it.
Shluchim will not listen, as they will need to pay more money to these older trained girls…
Who says it applies to an 18 year old.
not one makor that sem is a hora’ah clolis.
morah gorowitz, you definitely have a valid point. considering the times that we are in, it is very important to properly educate our girls and keep them in the right evniornment, instilling yiras shomayim and even teaching very practical and necessary life skills however most of us cannot afford one year, let alone 2!!!??!!! and what about the families that have a few girls!!??!! many parents want so much to give their children the best education, this is something that stays with our children forever and many girls go on shlichus or need to work because their parents CANNOT afford… Read more »
The idea that all girls have to go to sem is about fifteen years old. There is not one Sicha or hora’a’of the Rebbe (except to individuals) that seminary is a must. Sem bais causes girls to get married later and great financial loss.
………… you fer got “un vey!” FEH!!
Think about it…..Girls finish their formal Limudei Kodesh learning at age 18 (Sem. age) , while bochurim are still immersed in intense learning until age 22-23. The age of 18 is quite young for girls to finish Torah Learning classes. Once the girls are out of Seminary and working, How many girls are self motivated to push themselves to attend night time Shiurim after work? What Svivah of Ruchnius are the girls involved in once they are in the working world to keep them in check and growing spiritually at such a young age. What Mrs. Gurwitz was trying to… Read more »
excellent girls not academic thrive in shlichus situation and outshine the A+ student. Why would you want to stop that?
let’s look at this from the perspective of chabad mission and the chabad ‘system’. and try to work the important points brought out in this very intelligent article. the author seems to be saying that the girls should be learning for 2 more years after high school. the chabad system says that the girls should get married young – as early as 19 – 20 years old. the chabad mission, the shluchos out in the field need young girls to come work with them in their shlichus. there seems to be an impasse. the shluchos are doing the rebbe’s inyonim.… Read more »
That’s extreme! She could have finished medical school and still been a Torah observant Jew all the while helping her future husband sit and learn
BLAB ZITZEN. ALL U GOTTA DO IS OPEN UP A “CRUNCH N MUNCH” AND YOULL BE SUCCESSFUL 🙂 IYH BY U,
AMEN \Kein yihee ratzon
i went to sem for 4 years…thats the only way i think a girl should do it..it was amazing after the first year i was like hey why stop at one and i went to sem bais after sem bais i was like hey why not and i did sem gimmel and then sem daled im on sem hey right now its amazing you should all do it…GO TO SEM FOR TWENTY FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT ASK NOT WHAT MORE THEN ONE YEAR OF SEM CAN DO FOR YOU ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR MORE THEN ONE YEAR OF SEM!!!!!!
The story cited has a 15 year old girl graduating high school. Isn’t that quite young? It makes perfect sense that a girl that age ought to continue her education. Does that mean that the same answer is applicable to the vast majority of girls who are eighteen when they are graduating? The arguments made in the article are pretty logical and sound. However, tremendous care and awe need to be in place before someone quotes the Rebbe to support their position. I find that when someone does this, it is because they are not confident in their position and… Read more »
1. Bais rivkah sem is NOT expensive
2. Boys’ yeshivos are MUCH more expensive EACH year (out of town ones)
did you factor in dorm and food??????
I’ve been a part of Bais Rivkah seminary and it’s been one of the most rewarding experiences. The teachers are excellent. The program is relevant. I’m extremely grateful. Thank you so much Mrs. Gurwitz!
I tried Bais Rivkah Sem Aleph and it didn’t work. I lost the zitz-fleish and felt belittled by the hanhola (staff) and other students who could still SIT and eat the info fed by others. I dropped out after two months. I found a job instead teaching for an out-of-town shliach and I absolutely FLOURISHED there. It did wonders to my self esteem to get accolades for my teaching – while in Bais Rivka sem I felt “less-than”.
just a heads up to thse girls considering sem: if you are not the cookie cutter type of person, if you dont do well under pressure t confrm and be exactly like e/o else in sem, with exact same standards, then please reconsider with a mashpia or someone wether sem is beneficial to you or perhaps opposite. talking from experiance.
What all the BIG educators of our community, boys as well as girls need, is a good eye doctor. They can not see what is happening out there to our children. Stop with all your great ideas. What were the girls doing for the 4 years while you were meant to be molding them to be the Chassidishe girls and future shluchos?
I just read over the article 2 times and did not see once that Mrs Gurwitz said : ” calls on Chabad Houses not to hire girls who didn’t attend for two years.” It seems like she is requesting of Shluchos to hear what she has to say, as why hiring a girl out of seminary bais would be more beneficial to them and to the students. She does not say “don’t hire”.
The imporance of Seminary Bais……. Thank you!
i have a large number of daughters B”H all but one went to two years of seminary – one yr out of town and the second one in BR they loved their year in BR Sem and gained tremendously from it but then i had one daughter who called me from her first year sem and said, “I went on the shluchos network and found a job for next year.” I said “oh but why? why no second year sem?” she said “Mom I can’t sit behind a desk one more minute never mind another year” and this is a… Read more »
Very kind of you to blabber and talk on and on, but do you not realize how hard it is to pay for seminary?! Do you know how many girls want to go yet can’t? And I DO NOT think that girls need two years. Girls benefit a lot and get lots of life experience from going to Shluchim – and many girls come out more normal than even those that went for 3 years. Plus, Shluchim need girls! And this is the Rebbe’s Shlichus, and as long as it’s done right, not only is there nothing wrong with it,… Read more »
let’s say you go to beis rivkah’s sem for 2 years and become the best preschool teacher. how much do they pay you?
all those who went to college instead will get paid three times as much plus benefits. let’s practice what we preach…
I am a student currently attending Seminary Bais in Bais Rivkah. I am in complete shock with responses to this article. I cannot agree with Mrs Gurwitz more. What I am gaining this year in seminary is changing the way I teach, how i socialize and who I am as a person. Everyday is so beneficial and rewarding. I feel so cared for! I feel that parents who do not give their chidlren this opportunity is so unfortunate for that child. So thank you to my parents, for enabling me to be here! And thank you Mrs Gurwitz and all… Read more »
Why dosent the administration realize that parents have to marry off children rather that dump unreasonable amounts of
money on tuition which can benefit some yet is a waste or impossble for others. Its really depends what is best for each indvidual.
For those that may not be aware, and are complaining about the expense of seminaries, there are Pel-grants available that ends up costing the parents barely anything! So please stop using the financial issue as an excuse for the seminary- if you truly want your child in seminary B.R. will find away to get her in for almost no money!
I think instead of bashing the article and people getting all defenses, you should stop for a moment and rethink the situation. Yes, the TRUTH HURTS! SO if you are one of those people that just get all defenses this article probally means you. Both my husband and I work hard to earn a living, and yes sending our children to yeshivas and seminaries are tremendously burdensome, but what is more important to us than making sure our children get the best that they can, and have a strong chassidishe hashgafot . What wouldnt we do to have more true… Read more »
It is quite clear.Seminary is important. As long as you have only one child, so you can afford to send your one child to school.
Mrs. Hindy Gurwitz – I back you and agree with you! These are the very last bits of learning opportunities for the girls, they should get as much as they possibly can. Mothering requires a lot of Jewish/chassidish knowledge and chayus to impart to their children iy”h and many people I know cull this from their formal school years – not from extra time they have once they’re married – to learn. Learning is what shapes people, and I fully agree with the fact that two years of seminary should continue like it did before ‘going to help a shliach’… Read more »
Im sorry, seminary is not for everyone!!! Its totally not necessary for every girl. Some people really aren’t cut out for it! Its really not fair to stick everyone in the same category! And as many said – it’s VERY expensive! Not everyone can go to Bais Rivkah seminary! It’s time each girl is looked at individually and taken care of the way thats best for them! This whole Seminary thing is really not fair!!!
excuse me, but not all girls are equal. not 2 yiden are equal. how can be only one solution?! “the answer is quite clear”??? im sorry, but im completly disapointed. its writen that you are a teacher, but what really looks like from your article is that ur in the marketing business, just trying to sell a product. im sorry, but u offend me. the Rebe looked at every persons neshomo – and u are treating all this girls like they were not worth living their lives, choosing their paths. Guess what? choosing the right thing by yourself is a… Read more »
I can say that I wanted to go to sem bes, but Bes Rivka is not for everyone, and there are not enough programs out there. Your argument does have logic, and in an ideal world, it would be plausible, but today, the seminaries are not made for everyone. Why should a girl be stopped from going on shichus?
Tuition is out of reach. Yes the girls should be at least one year in a sem environment but to go into debt for this? I think sem is great but way too expensive…. Need scholarships and sems with degrees that are recognized..Tzohar in Pittsburgh is on the right track as far as not all day learning for non learners. Way to go!
This is all really nice but lets start at the beginning. When you have 100 girls in the 12th grade and 60 of them are applying to the ‘top’ seminaries. These ‘top’ seminaries only accept 30 girls (at most) between the two of them. The rest of them either have applied to other seminaries and are going, or arent interested in seminary at all. Then you have those 30 odd girls who are lost. They were depending on getting in, and now dont know what to do. They could try and push in, which is tiring and degrading, they can… Read more »
What makes 2 years the “right” number – because that’s what the seminaries are offering?! Maybe it should be 3 years or 4 as #33 asks! Please answer!! (If there is an answer of emes!.
Mrs. Gorowitz is stressing after all the Rebbe’s opinion, and in a well written manner. I never wanted to be a teacher so I asked the Rebbe if i could please not continue seminary the second year. The Rebbe said i should continue a second year. This is the ideal situation and I believe that there are always exceptions to the rule (for all you complainers, above). This is generally the Rebbe’s will and as said above, not all seminaries are 15,000. I am sure the Rebbe advised certain individuals in different situations not to continue . Mrs. H. Gurwitz,… Read more »
you have a point, however $$ is a big factor and many people cannot afford seminary. What also annoys me is the fact that a girl might be average, and she knows she will only get accepted in a low level seminary which she knows will bring her chassidishkeit down. So going in shlichus is a much better option as she will be in a environment of chassidish values.
first yr seminary is a must – second yr waste of time .
most of us didn’t go to full time sem’s, in our days grade 12 was till 2:30 and sem was fro 2:30 and on and on Sundays and some eve’s. We all turned out B”H ,and now we are killing ourselves to send 4, 5, 6, and more girls to seminaries
for 1 to 2 years not to mention the boys out of town yeshivos. Don’t kid yourselves, the sem experience is great but, it definately gor out of hand.
montreal also has 2 yrs
Seminary will not make you a better mother, a kinder person, or a nicer spouse. It does not either make you a frummer person.
unfortunately, there are many problems with stating that everyone needs to go to sem for 2 years. 1. there are not enough quality programs for all lubavitch girls 2. not everyone is going on shlichus or becoming a teacher even if they wanted to it is logistically impossible 3. seminary does not meet everyone’s needs 4. in todays economy people can not afford two years sem followed by a minimum 10,000 dollars for a wedding 5. not everyone has lots of money and financial stability is a concern and girls want to at least know they have something to fall… Read more »
seminaries are a rip off and teach our kids…what …another maamar..girls come out like bochurim…dont want to run houses…what a disaster
i read the whole thing, and yes i did two years of seminary, but this article still doesnt make sense. you cannot generalize for anyone, and i have not yet scene one good reason for EVERY person to do two years? Where did the Rebbe say that every person Must do two years of seminary? dont get me wrong, it hink learning is the greatest thing- but what are the intentions behind this promotion of seminary? to hurt girls who couldnt go or were not accepted? or girls who have a hard time learning? arent cut out to be teachers?… Read more »
Why dont you focus on what girls are really lacking in today ; a sense of self worth and a taste of Torah true Uncompromising Halacha?
1. Bais rivkah sem is NOT expensive
2. Boys’ yeshivos are MUCH more expensive EACH year (out of town ones)
3. Those who disagree with the article, at least do it politely and respectfully!
Personally, I strongly agree with mrs. gurwitz. As much as there isn’t enough supervision in some seminaries (100%) true, MANY time there isn’t enough supervision when girls are working for shluchim!!!!
Lastly, more QUALITY and serious sem programs MUST be opened!
What are our priorities? Let us analyze and search our hearts…and see the answers..
Here’s the bottom line – to all those complaining about money your are the same people that have bungelos and nice leased cars. (not talking about the one that really have 0) and you are so used to making up stories when i to comes to paying full tuition that when 16,000 comes around you get all excited the bottom line is THAT’S WHAT IT COST! take it or leave it every misivta out there is 15,000 and up. teachers need to get make admin needs to get paid janitors need to get paid just like any other business out… Read more »
The parents who are ready to pay $20,thousand dollars for one year of sem ARE the Loosers. U could send to B.R sem for almost nothing b/c of finiancial aid and They have a great program for sem Alef. Save the money for your child wedding instead of spending on a year in israel or ect… BR roxes
every girl is difrrent and cut out to do diffrent things.
some may be very studious and wouldnt mind doing a yr of seminary but other girls have diffrent talents other than learning. there are so many girls out there that are so wonderful and just cant see themselves going to seminary which is perfectly okey. these girls should be going on shluchos and doing the Rebbes work!
Why stop at 2 years of seminary? Maybe a girl MUST go to 3 years of seminary or even four years?
After all, bochurim spend more than 2 years after highschool in Zal! And in the secular world, after highschool, students go to college for 3 – 4 years earning a B.A….
So, what makes 2 years the magic number???
many people have natural teaching talent – i think it’s illogical to tell shluchim not to hire girls unless they went to a 2 yr sem program. To many girls, 2 yrs is a waste.
however I guess looking back I would have to agree with the idea that yes you have your whole life to work – and sadly many will. so enjoy the time to reflect on personal growth.
but i can say that my two years of seminary did a lot to me!!!!!!
one year is for sure a must. two years is nice
I went to seminary the first year in Israel and then for Sem Beis I went to BR. Unfortunately I can’t say that I gained much from being in Sem Beis. I learned a lot more from actually being in a pre-school class as an assistant than being in a classroom. Maybe things have changed since I’ve been out of school for 5 years but I would not recommend girls to go to Sem Beis.
If U choose to go to bais rivkah sem which is the best by the way their is finiancial Aid. She is not speaking about staying 2 years in israel or anywhere that cost a fortune .Bais rivkah is the place to be for sem Beis they have an amazing program, that will help u be the amazing teacher
1) for me it was right, for many of my friends 1 year was all they needed. 1 year to be completely immersed in limudei kodesh and then they went to work for shluchim, gaining many, many valuable life lessons. not everyone needs to do the same thing and some girls do very well for them selves without going to sem at all. 2) To call on shluchim not to hire girls without 2 years of sem behind them is unfair. Employers, shluchim included, try to hire employees that will do the job that needs to be done. If a… Read more »
one of the only seminaries that have a sem beis duh!
why are we even printing articles that are based on personal opinion and written as fact! NO MRS GURWITZ, PARENTS, GIRLS, AND SHLUCHIM CAN KEEP TO WHAT THEYRE DOING, AND IF THEY WANT TO SEND A SECOND YEAR THEY WILL, IF NOT THAT IS ALSO O.K! dont get me wrong, seminary is great, I just don’t need Mrs Gurwitz telling me what to do!
what do you do when a girl doesnt get accepted to the seminary of her choice????? What do you do when parents can not afford seminary??? I think working for a shliach is benefical for alot of girls. They learn responsibilty, they mature plus the shliach is benefiting as well. I find that as a parent we can make these choices what is right for our daughter. Why is it that everything has to be accepted by the hanhalah of bais rivkah. are they getting our daughters in to the seminary of their choice???? Are they paying the $$$$$$. for… Read more »
Dont you get the message yet you must CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM………………
1 year is okay but two years is alot and some people dont want to be in sem for two years some people dont even want to go to sem why would you care?
Dear Mrs. Gorowitz,
I really disagree with what you are saying. Who should go and help the shluchim? girls who are in shana gimmel are not reliable to hire for the year! If you want a proffesional preschool or program director it needs to be someone who is guarenteed (As much as possible) to be there for the entire year! One year of seminary is something that is important, and two years is great but i think its an extra.
i did seminary for 2 yrs and i am sooooo thankful that i did!! i agree that its not for everyone but now that im not in seminary anymore i realize how important it was for me have done the 2 years! and everyone who says its too expensive- sem overseas is definitly really expensive but beis rivkah is less than half the amount and scholarships are available!!! if anyone is debating to do a second year or not, i really really reccomend it- i have friends who regret that they didnt!
its insain how the author thinks she can impose her opinions on other people. Not every girl is cut out for two or even one year(s) of seminary and it is unfair to use the Rebbe card to express your personal opinion. The fact is, seminary is a HUGE expense for parents and if a parent and girl decides that seminary is not for her then that is fine. Why should Mrs Gurwitz send out a plea to shluchim not to accept these girls. Not every one is in the same situation, and if she thinks she will transform popular… Read more »
In some of the seminaries the girls are exposed to living with girls for a full year that have much lower standards then their’ parents have at home. Also the people running them don’t always provide proper dorm supervision. I know of one seminary that allowed people from the community to learn with the girls, but they weren’t supervised at all and the girls learnt more from the not yet frum girls then they learnt from our girls. They sent the girls to shluchim for Shabbos without making sure that there would be decent accommodations and did not make sure… Read more »
Ok Morah Hindy. Will you dish out the $$$$$$$$$$$ to all those families that unfortunately can not afford to send their daughters to seminary?? I mean this is selfish and absolutely ridiculous!!
Seminary is a wonderful place for post high school girls.
The question is who gets what out of it!
The first problem is that there are not enough seminaries for the girls who want to attend even for one year. The second problem is the girls who loose their spots because their parents cannot come up with the money to cover the $12,000+ tuition, not to mention all of the other expenses involved. Once these issues are resolved you can think of making such requests of the Shluchim.
Not every girl wants to become a teacher. Most girls want to go for one year because it’s important and healthy and the Rebbe always said we should add on another year of learning. But not everyone has the same level as one who goes for 2 years. Everyone is different and different goals to pursue.
Last year my sister was ready for sem and my parents JUST sccraped up the money to pay for it. (We’re B”H not poor but sem is VERY expensive) We have many girls in the family and my parents arent going to spend so much!
Mrs Gurewitz , you mean well you do. however different peoples situations enable them to either go 1 yr or 2 or not even go at all. Seminary is a touchy subject … there aren’t enough and its become a money making business .
are you willing to pay the tuition that they’re tearing away from parents?
what right have you to tell shluchim not to hire girls that didn’t go to seminary?
we know for a fact that bais rivkah told certain girl not to go to seminary and they went to shlucim and did great?
is she trying to secure a job for her future because they are losing student to the street and other schools?
look for trouble elsewhere where it counts more!!!!
But get ready for the criticism.
Many people are not ready to hear the pure truth.
Too many rationalizations in their heads…expense, peer pressure, career opportunities…
One thing I know. Almost 30 years ago, when my parents were broke and my sister had teaching offers pouring in, the Rebbe gave a very clear hora’ah to her question of going to Sem Bais: “There will be other years to make money. Go back to Seminary!”
B”H
After two years of seminary, girls are already 20 years old. Most don’t want to go out of town to Shluchim anymore at this age, they rather find a shidduch.
It’s unfair to expect Shluchos to look for older girls, when the older girls just aren’t available.
We have to be realistic!
ok its very easy to say all this when your daughter is a learner , and you have the family name and money to go to which ever seminary you’d like to.
as for others its a struggle to get in for even one year . i agree seminary is a must , it molds our children but you need to look outside the bubble .
Mrs. Gorowitz, thanks but no thanks. NOT ALL OF YOU R STUDENTS CAN GET INTO A SEMINARY thanks to the hanhalla of schools. YOU pick and choose which girl can go. Second- girls 2 yrs out of sem many girls want to stay in NY area to get married. Makes NO SENSE.
maybe if there was second year seminary’s available there would be what to talk about. I WANTED to go to a second year seminary (3 years ago) after spending a year in a one year program and there wasnt any…maybe things have changed now…i hope they have.
I agree!!!!!!! I am only post sem for one year, but i am so thankful that my parents agreed to send me to seminary for not only one year, but two whole years!!! That is misiras nefesh and i am forever thankful. these two years, helped shape me into the chassidush and dynamic young adult that i am today!!! Before a young girl goes out into the world, its important that she has a strong foundation first. in this generation the foundations are getting weaker and weaker and high school is not enough!!!! another problem that may arise, is finding… Read more »
The author is not objective being that she is involved with seminary and clearly would be advising girls to go to seminary regardless of any other factors. Would prefer to see OBJECTIVE articles, written by people who are NOT “noge’ah bedavar”
Who do you think you are? Seminary isnt for everyone. And just because girls ” ATTENDED” seminary – doesn’t make them a mentch. Where will a girl go who isnt cut out for seminary? You are theoretically pushing them to go out and look for other options when they need to be in a chassidishe and frum enviorment. Where are your restrictions going to end? Will you decided next that only daughters of shluchim are allowed to work in those positions or maybe only frum from birth and no baali tishuvos? Going with group of girls to seminary may give… Read more »
and who pray tell will pick up the tab of $16,000.00 yes, 16 thousand dollars for the seminary school year, multiplied by 2 years, multiplied by multiple siblings ka”h, especially in this economy. Please advise.
well written article, but still not sure if i agree. not every girl is cut out for seminary. some girls need to finally get out of the classroom.. some girls will waste their year in seminary (including all that $$$) if its not meant for them. and as for 2 years – thats pushing it for some girls!
and are putting famililes into huge debt