By Rabbi Shea Hecht
Parents nowadays are very busy people – and so are their children, even the babies.
Most are working, some even have two jobs, and everyone has a cell phone. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t know how to text a message to a friend, either.
It seems the only thing left is to try and give birth by fax – or through Skype.
Hi-tech telephony is such a part of everyday life that the government passed laws to stop multi-tasking drivers from talking and texting while driving.
No one has thought of applying the same legislation to baby carriages yet – but maybe we should take a second look.
Have you ever walked in a busy downtown area about 25 minutes before the start of Standard Office Time? Try it.
Last week I saw the most amazing sight: two mothers in business suits pushing three-wheeled baby carriages, both on cell phones and neither one looking at either child.
One of the babies was sleeping, but the other was a toddler who was trying to catch his mother’s attention. She was too busy, however, so he decided to take matters into his own hands, and simply climbed out of the stroller as she reached the corner.
When the walk light changed, Mom kept going, and Junior stayed behind – headed back, in fact, to see a toy in a display window that had caught his eye a few stores back. A passerby grabbed him, calling to his mother.
Needless to say, she was red-faced with embarrassment and not a little shocked. Her friend, meanwhile, hurried ahead to get to the daycare center.
This is a little out of the ordinary, I know, and I couldn’t believe my eyes as I watched. But happen it did.
But it seems to me that while technology is being used to keep us “all connected,” it is also driving us further apart.
Parents and kids spend more time on computers and phones, and watching movies and television, than they spend on direct interaction with each other. Cell phones are especially convenient and even essential as a safety measure in a world where one must be able to reach a parent in an emergency. But there is still the issue of when it makes sense to answer the call, and when it makes sense to hold the conversation for later.
Another “modern improvement” that has led to the disconnect is the forward-facing design of baby strollers, intended to give the child a real-time, entertaining view of the world around him.
It does indeed keep Junior busy and happy, but disrupts the crucial bonding process that should be taking place between parent and child — one that was a “given” just a generation ago.
What I’m saying is this: cell phones and baby carriages, like anything else, are tools intended to improve our daily quality of life, helping us connect with each other. But when used improperly, those same items can drive families apart.
Beware the day when the disconnect goes two ways, and you some day find yourself saying to your kid, “Hey, you – how come you never talk to me anymore?”
I agree with # 19. You can be on the phone and still be a good parent!
actually the big plus of all the new modern strollers like bugabbo and uppa baby etc is that they r rear facing thats the in thing todday
I agree, pushing a stroller is not bonding time. Its just to get you and your baby where you need to be. And all the new “modern strollers” are the ones facing the pushee, all the old fashion strollers face the street…. which is totally fine. And with the toddler getting out, he should have been strapped in. You can be on the phone and still be a good parent.
Every morning when I go to school {as a teacher} I see a mother waiting with her children at their bus stop. She is ALWAYS on the cell-phone and NEVER taking this opportunity to talk to her kids. I also see fathers dropping off the kids they take to school . And the same. Always talking on the phone and not even aware of the child they are with. How terribly sad
ive been thinking the same thing
This is a very important and crucial issue that most people don’t stop and take the time to think about. We are all so busy, running to the job, the school, ect, we forget why we are doing it all! Our Kinderlach are the reason we work so hard, why we rush from place to place, why we take two jobs, to pay for the ever increasing tuition prices, and to try to make ends meet. We need to not lose sight of the goal, to focus on FOCUSING
the lady that crashed into the fountain was inside the mall thats about 7 minutes from my house
of course no one suggested it …. its a stupid idea !!!!
news.yahoo.com/s/ac/20110126/tr_ac/7705386_will_texting_while_walking_become_illegal_in_new_york_state
I don’t yet know how to text and many of you know me, i guess it’s one of the things I’ll have to learn! My business laptop became too much of a distraction in my home after work hours( 9-4) for the whole family. I unplugged it one sunday, hid it and began doing the same every day after work. I felt so liberated! I began to be the person i wanted to be. instead pf just being down that i’m not who i want to be. It affects my family too on many levels. I recommend pple to try… Read more »
I have been a nanny in Crown Heights for over 36 years i have seen it all this is not the only thing that needs to be looked at i will not go into all the negative we have to be positive and make a change i am glad we have this posting to get out info to try and do that and help people the Hechts are always there to make a change they learned from the best there parents they not only talk they work every second to make a difference we all do the best we can… Read more »
Not just baby carriages. People don’t watch where they’re going. People walk slower and hold up traffic. Not just if u have a baby carriage. Just last week I was walking down the avenue and I saw a tall man walking while texting. I saw him walking straight towards my stroller, so I tried directing my stroller to the side since he was not looking. But he wasn’t walking straight and started going to the left. So I tried going back to the right and he did the same. At that point, I said “watch where you’re going” so he… Read more »
That is a load of psycho babble. During the 80’s and 90’s we all grew up with forward facing strollers and I happen to have a wonderful relationship with my parents. Pushing a child in a stroller is not bonding time. Just stay occupied with getting to where you need to go..
Great article! so true…
thank you for saying it as it is! i think it’s ridiculous ho much technology has become so part of everyday life.
‘It seems the only thing left is to try and give birth by fax – or through Skype.’
Before I even read who the author was I could tell from this comment that it definitely was a MAN!
you wrote:
I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t know how to text a message to a friend, either.
i can’t! dont know how…
This article is beautifully written and right on!!!
it’s the fact that parents need to keep more of an eye on the child and what he does. stopping to talk to a friend on the street has nothing to do with technology.
That’s why I had twins. They entertain each other while I spend the 10 sacred minutes I have to call doctors, teachers and other important people, without meatballs flying overhead in the kitchen.
A blessing or a curse? Depends on how it’s used. Thanks R’ Shea for raising our awareness.