by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson, TheYeshiva.net
Tonight, Monday evening, my siblings and I will commemorate the fifth yartzeit (anniversary of passing) of my dear father, Gershon Ber Jacobson, who passed away five years ago on the 20th of Iyar, May 29, 2005.
With that special feeling reserved for people who were forced to watch the earth close up on a loved one, I will go to the synagogue and recite the kaddish prayers, connecting to my father’s zestful and inspiring memory.
And as I say Kaddish, I will have in mind a young friend of mine, Nosson Deitch, who was killed yesterday, on Lag Baomer, in a boat accident in Florida.
A lump fills my throat as I write these words, about a beautiful, majestic and sincere soul, whose sudden death at the age of 21 is truly inexplicable and devastating beyond words.
The Kaddish
“Yeesgadal veyeeskadash shemey rabbah…”
“Exalted and hallowed be His great Name…”
These are the words which begin the kaddish prayer. The most blatant omission in kaddish is the soul of the deceased. Not even the slightest mention is made about our beloved one. The entire kaddish focuses exclusively on the Divine, exalting the greatness of G-d and His great name. Why?
When my siblings and I finished saying kaddish for my father at the end of 11 months after his passing, my oldest brother Rabbi Simon Jacobson penned a profound article on Kaddish. He proposed the following answer.
Death, as we all know, transcends the human vocabulary. No words can capture or do justice to the pain of death.
Intellectually one may understand that a soul never dies; that death is only the beginning of a new life in a different dimension. But emotionally, there is something about death that is forever inexplicable and could never be integrated. All the explanations in the world and beyond could not eliminate the tears, the grief, and perhaps more than all, the sense of finality.
The first and primary answer to death is that there is no answer. Till Moshiach comes speedily in our days, death can never find a comfortable space in our hearts.
Kaddish knows that nothing can really be said to console us for our losses; no words can justify or minimize the effects of experiencing death. So what do we talk about in the kaddish? We don’t recall the life of the deceased, which has been snatched away. Rather, we talk about the origin of all life, from which birth and death flow equally.
“Yeesgadal veyeeskadash shemey rabbah… Exalted and hallowed be His great Name… Yehey shemey rabbah mevarach lealam ulealmey almahyah… May His great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity…”
Rather than discussing the death of the person we are saying kaddish for, something which defies our sensibilities, we enter into a place which transcends both life and death. We climb the ladder of consciousness into the domain of eternity, which both precedes and follows all of existence, which is present before our birth and remains present after our demise.
The kaddish insists that the mortal, fragile life of an individual human being is intimately interconnected with the eternal source of all life and the cosmic source of all reality.
For us humans living and defined by our dimension of reality, we observe only one leg of the soul’s journey. Yet the kaddish invites us to connect to the immortal soul of the departed, and to the source of all immortality.
What does that do practically for us? I will be honest and say that I have no clue. The void remains and the pain persists. But somehow I too will find some comfort tonight in the words of kaddish, laying claim to the truth that my father died but he is not dead, and that by discovering “His great name,” I may discover the source and secret of my father’s life too.
i dont understand. why?
ad mosai
Dear nosson, I’m s bochor in yeshiva who had never known you just by reading the comments of the message you left with people shows me how I should act, as a yid, a chossid, person. I may have never know you, but I will never forget you
Nosson was a perfect soul.
Ad Mosai????????????????????????????
so very sad!! baruch dayon haemes
he made everyone feel like his best friend! Ad Mosai!!!
my heart is breaking
We DESERVE Moshiach Now! Hashem has to pay up! The Eibishter has to blow the whistle on this long and dark Golus. We need Moshiach Now and the Eibishter needs Moshiach Now. After all, the Dirah Batachtonim is all ready and doesn’t He want His Beis Hamikdosh??!! I think its up to Hashem at this point. He has to have Rachmanus on his chosen nation! Ad Mosai??!! Moshiach Immediately!!!
AD MOSAI!!!!!!
so sad
Dear Nosson, If you are reading this from shamayim please beg the aibishter to stop these tragedies on klal yisroel!
Beg Him to heal our sick and to give happiness to the sad and a yeshua to those that are trapped and especially beg Him to heal the sick in your family and send shidduchim for those in need and comfort to your dear mother may she be comforted! and most important of all beg Him for moshiach NOW!!!! Nosson I cant stop crying! BEG BEG BEG Hashem on klal yisroels behalf! we need moshiach now!
I feel so emotionally overwlemed that I can’t even comprehend. I’m so heartbroken and I will remember you Nosson forever. You are such a role model for me. I miss you.
Whenever you would meet him, he would say hello, and would take an interest in what you were upto, a huge heart of gold, and a really great person, Nosson i miss you greatly, please come back, together with Moshiach Tzidkeinu, and take us out of this terrible gollus – Amen!
I never met Nosson, and I am in awe… Moshe tried to console Aharon after Nadav and Avihu were taken. Moshe tells Aharon, Hashem said “bikroivai ekodesh”, now I know Hashem’s reference to those who were close to me, was not me or you, it was Nadav and Avihu. Yet Aharon’s ‘response’ was Vyidom Aharon – silent like a stone. I never met Nosson, and I am speechless… We’ve had more than enough of bekroivai ekodesh! Enough pain! Enough tears! AD MOSAI! Yet stones are not only speechless, they are solid and unwavering. We must be stronger than ever to… Read more »
Your words made me stronger.
Thank you!
as you say we should try to smile to everyone etc. that is going to be hard to do for a while. Hashem , we cannot pass any tests any more, your beautiful article brings tears and more tears , non stop, even though I never met him. Hashem should see the achdus Noson’s passing has created and bring Moshiach NOW!!!
Hashem,
MOSHIACH IS
LONG LONG LONG LONG
OVERDUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
moshiach n_o_w!!!!
I will never forget that day ten years ago as young boy sent away from home to learn in CH, I felt totally out of place, then a boy one year older than me took me to his house – out of the blue – made me feel at home, played with me, and basicly took upon himself to make sure this out of towner intergrated in the system. His name was Nosson Deitch A”h. There is so much more… b/c this isn’t a story this is a person who was like that every day, all the time.
just to point out, Nosson a”h enjoyed rabbi Jacobsons shiyurim and lectures.
When I awakened this morning I felt exhausted and drained. My night had been filled with horrific dreams- and then I began to cry again, just like I have been crying for the past two days, from the moment we first heard the devastating news that Nosson was gone. The nightmare was reality, the tragedy really happened. We are stunned, speechless. This wonderful young man who would have celebrated his twentysecond birthday next month is physically no longer with us. Nosson, a very special young man who idealized the message of Chabad, a living example of a CHOSSID, filled with… Read more »
I never met Nosson but one look at his picture confirms everything I have heard about him. His temmimus and mentchlichkeit ligt ofen ponim. May the family know of no more tzaar. Nosson will be a guter oisbeter for them and for Klal Yisroel.Please Hashem, Moshiach Now!!
we are all very proud of you and your kaddis thoughts, Moshiach NOW!
why? why? why?
What can one say? How can one console ? Hashem Bring Moshiach NOW!!!!!!!!
The tears are running down my face,
one can not express emotions of what we are going through.
The day i saw the symbol of life die!
Nosson you will forever be engraved in my heart
As if the fragility of life hasn’t been expressed when the Holtzberg’s hy”d were murdered… As if the fragility of life hasn’t been proven by countless deaths of young chassidim this past year… As if G-d is testing; testing us more then we could conjure in our minds what a test is… Aibishter!!! That could have been me! It really is true that we must act as if our next moment the malach hamaves can stare us in the face and take our neshama! No, we must fight ourselves, our personal yetzer hara, and project kedusha on every one of… Read more »
I never met Nosson but I can’t stop crying after watching this video
your the best, thank you
two things of his: memorizing tanya and ahavas yisroel
I did not know nosson but for now on I will do as meny mitzvos that I can do for nosson