Rabbi Manis Friedman is throwing his hat into the public discussion – and some will say obsession – with the issue of modesty of women and girls in Crown Heights.
In a lecture Monday night, open for mothers only, the veteran counselor, author and speaker will be advising “How to talk to your daughter about Tznius in a whole new way.”
“This is a first-time chance for Crown Heights residents to really engage in personal and interactive discussions and to enjoy the unparalleled wisdom of a world-renowned scholar,” said one local teacher.
The lecture is part of the week-long “The Art of Living” conversations and classes series in Crown Heights co-sponsored by Lubavitch Youth Organization and COLlive.com community news service.
Additional support comes from local Crown Heights businesses which include Landmark Funding, Everything But the Baby, Leasing Direct and an anonymous donor.
Lecture information:
Monday night November 15 / Ches Kislev
8:00 pm
Why Don’t Kids Blush Anymore: How to talk to your daughter about Tznius in a whole new way
For Mothers Only. Entrance Fee: $10
Location: Chevra Shas Shul (upper level) 398 Kingston (corner of Montgomery)
For more information, email [email protected]
I am not a parent or a wife and I’m speaking from experience: it’s a pity that your beliefs and what you do or don’t ‘care’ about is based on your annoyance with other people. A mature person of any age thinks about what she learns and forms her life goals based on those truths- not as a reaction to ‘show’ people that they can’t tell them what to do. It must be so comfortable to be able to slack off on everything that is difficult and blame it on the parents! But that won’t get you very far in… Read more »
#33 was replying to me ..#26…..just because your probably a mother and you had the rebbe growing up its easy for you to be tznius, do u not see crown heights these days!? all us girls need to breath every single day in my school all they keep repeating is abt. tznius! ! as i said in my other comment if u just left us alone we wuldnt rebell!!…and FOR ALL PARENTS OUT THERE BEING TO HARD ON YOUR KIDS WILL JUST MAKE THEM REBELL!!…take it from me,my parents pushed and i dont care abt. tznius anymore….
It seems that women’s and girl’s value of themselves has become dependent on how the outside world sees them, thinking that the world wants to see someone who is cool and chic. Sad to see that the inner beauty is forgotten and lost. Becoming slaves to the outside world has become the norm…just because so many others are doing it. Tznius is often equated with being a neb, and that would be devastating to the cool and chic girl/woman. But covering body parts properly is not nebby; it will gain the respect of others and nurture your own self-respect. Reflect… Read more »
Maybe it’s hard because our values are coming more from the “cosmopolitan ” magazine than from Torah. May e because we are do assimilated that we want to look lime everyone else. Sometimes I see “frum” girls walking down the street & I think that if I was just a passerby I wouldn’t dream that these were Jewish much less frum girls? But why pick on girls? Look at the mothers? Why do we have women in their forties trying to look like cool teenagers? Why do so many young women look anorexic? Is this what a Bas Yisroel is?… Read more »
Where is your MOTHER??? I see the problem soooo simply, and so much of the blame lies with mothers/husbands. No means no; it starts when the girls are 10 – 11- 12 and then the mother says NO and means it, you wont have the enormity of the problem we have when the girls are older. Same with husbands/fiances, if they are clear, you are for me ONLY, how could a girl/wife dare to not keep the halachas properly How could she risk her shalom bayis, the kedusha of her home, t he well-being of her children? Rebbe is so… Read more »
For all those with the struggle of tznius. Sometimes in order to change a habit you just have to do the feared (difficult)action and it will help you overcome the struggle. Sometimes just little by little. I used to be very scared of germs, and only with support, facing the fear, was I able to overcome my fear to a huge extent. I had to actually touch the objects I feared, without washing my hands and by doing it, it helped me understand that those things I feared were really not so bad. I think many difficult struggles can be… Read more »
no one taught me about tsnius in my school ( halachos). I dressed the way i wanted (socks, slits, long earings…but it wasn’t to show off ) One day , I went to Chitrik seminary, and i just looked around, and I saw how chassidishe girl look like, and I realise and felt the difference,how innapropriate some of my dress were….and how the refinement of one person is expressed trough clothes. It is just a question of bad habits and surrounding. U have to feel it to change!!! It is a big acharayus to be a dugma chaya!!!U can make… Read more »
PLEASE!
The recordings of this week will b available in a few days!!!!
If you would like a copy just email [email protected]
I too am a teenager. Tznius is real hard for me too.
BUT WHY?
I can’t figure myself out. I know that what I’m doing is wrong..who am I kidding..but it’s real hard for me to close that extra button, or buy a skirt just a few inches longer.
It’s not that I’m looking for attention for myself. I’m really not that type.. so I don’t appreciate when people DECIDE for us all that – THAT’S our problem. Cause it isn’t
But what is?
Maybe we could figure this out together?
can we get a recordig?
This is unfortunately a result of our pathetic chinuch! Is tznius so hard for all other frum yidden? As far as I can see no one in Lubavitch pushes tznius or teaches it. Hence the situation we have today.
Kudos to Rabbi Friedman. Oh, and it’s important to charge that way people take it seriously.
I just came back from this talk… BRILLIANT.
The difference between gorgeous clothes that are untznius and gorgeous clothes that are tznius is the difference between tackiness and elegance. The first screams “I’m desperate for attention and I’m available..please..!” and the second says in a quiet way “I was born to be a princess and I respect myself and I am not available”. Take it from me, do yourselves this favour because one day you will want to dress what you are worth and you will be so ashamed about the way you looked in the past…
A little self control, self respect, and a focus on something constructive (such as concentrating on your writing skills) would calm you down and turn you into the kind of girl you really want to be. You can do it if you try.
Ridiculious excuse. Truth hurts. DOnt fall down with the downward path tznius has taken. Afew more inches makes a difference either way. shop smart and be smart.
I wish you much success, with my whole heart.
im a tennage girl and it makes it rlly hard on us wen all u guys talk abt. is tznius!! if u just leave it alone the problem wuldnt get as bad as it is now!! wen u push something to its limit ,it ends up exploding!! did u ever think for 1 minute that just leaving us be will make things better!? wen u push and push and make little things into big issues u just make things a whole lot worse then they were in the first place!! just leave us alone!!!! its hard,tznius is very hard and… Read more »
It’s wonderful to teach people, but when a woman has a “job” that requires Tznius (Shlucha or teacher), she should be fired if she doesn’t dress appropriately, like in any other profession. The biggest problem is that nobody is doing anything at the “headquarters”, and nobody wants to rock the boat. I personally know quite a few Shluchas and Morahs who wear tichlach outside that show their hair, no stockings, red shirts, and hair to the waist. What can I say? They told me those Halochos like in Rabbi Falk’s Sefer aren’t for Chabad… Shiruim and organizations like Benos Melech… Read more »
also wanna hear it!!
Please get the recording up on COL , thanks!
You are so right! If women tht the girls try to emulate relized the positive impact they can have on our girls I’m sure they would change. There are beautiful women in lubavitch that if for a moment they lengthened their skirts, and shirts by just a little they would have such a positive hashpao on the community at large and would eventually reach out to the other lubavitch communities. I believe these women have so much power and wish they would understand how many girls are following their lead and how they can change the face of the girls… Read more »
For all of us out-of-towners—Can there be a video of his presentation posted on COL?”
Being that we are out of towners,maybe it can be made available online with a password for a fee. I think there will be people who cannot participate in person who will be willing to sponsor some who cannot afford it. Please tell us where to send a donation for this really important venture. Rabbi Friedman is worth listening to.
actually, you are almost describing the Crown Heights women of today. Only one thing you didn’t mention. Leggings with “skirts” – oh, make it 3. also no socks, and the sheitel – I mean bandannas cover the amount that a kippah sruga does.
I believe you have not been to Crown Heights recently. But I wouldn’t advise you spending the money on such either. Especially with the men/boys in tow.
you could not be more on target. I’m from l.a. too. What an embarrassment and what a chillul lubavitch. so ugly and shameful. Maybe Rabbi Manis needs to visit this community next.
If the women that are admired by the girls–teachers, shluchos, and yes, the rich and famous of CH–will dress tzniusdik and stylish at the the same time, the girls will follow their example.
The people who go are usually not the ones who need it most. But it might prevent people who are wavering between tznius and not tznius.
This is a very important class. Maybe the mothers will learn from this too (#7). To bad I cant make it, plane ride would be 8 hours. I really would come, just for this though.
unfortunatly, its the tzniusdike women who go to these shiurim, not those who need to hear it.
if you sponsor they wont need to charge!!!!
rabbi manis is the best 🙂
why is there a fee?? ask your school why they charge! not everyone can afford tuition which is hundreds – this is $10! and yes even rabbis need to live somehow…….
Speakers charge a lot of money so I guess the organizers have to cover their costs.
why don’t you offer a solution instead of a criticism? Someone’s doing a good thing and things cost money. Maybe you can take up a collection to offer ‘scholarships’ to anyone who can’t pay the $10.
Big yasher koach to the organizers of this and please, plese, make this available online for those of us out of town.
Thank you.
Is there a way to access this class online?
But why is there a fee? I know it might sound silly but not everyone can pay $10, and they need the onformation too
Its more Mothers then daughters….
finally!
Crown Heights have a problem? Los Angeles makes you look like women out of mea sharim. Stiletto Heels Tight skirts that show the knees sitting AND standing. slits up the back. Oh its just the women? Men not wearing kappotas anymore or any jacket, trimming beards, wearing jeans and tshirts.
The Men have just as big of an issue dressing like a Jew dressing like a Chasid dressing like a Chasid of the Nosi HaDor.
We make the Rebbe look bad when we look the way we do.
looking forward
Will it be recorded??
This should be live so all of anash worldwide can hear!